Secret Life of Therapists

Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman
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  • Mental Health

Secret Life of Therapists is an unfiltered, unscripted, and unapologetically unedited exploration of what it means to be human through the eyes of therapists who live these questions as deeply as they study them. Hosted by Dr. Habiba Zaman, the podcast dives into life, love, relationships, career, identity, and sex in a way that is raw, vulnerable, and at times delightfully unhinged. These are the conversations therapists have behind closed doors; honest reflections, personal reckonings, and uncomfortable truths that rarely make it into the therapy room. There are no polished scripts or performative expertise here. Just real therapists speaking candidly about desire, doubt, boundaries, burnout, intimacy, ambition, and the messy realities of being both the helper and the human. Expect nuance over neat answers, curiosity over certainty, and authenticity over optics. This is therapy-adjacent, not therapeutic. An invitation to witness the inner lives of therapists as they grapple with the same complexities as everyone else, only out loud. Send queries or interests for topics to info@drhabiba.net

  1. The Anatomy of Cheating

    2d ago

    The Anatomy of Cheating

    Let’s talk about the anatomy of a betrayal. In this episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney pull back the curtain on one of the most painful, messy, and complex relational hurdles: cheating. Going way beyond the surface-level “why did they do it?”, Habiba and Kaylan look at infidelity through both a clinical and deeply human lens. They unpack: -The psychological anatomy of betrayal and why it cuts so deep. -The messy intersection of desire, unmet needs, and poor boundaries. -What healing actually looks like, whether that means rebuilding the relationship or choosing to walk away. There are no polished scripts or neat answers here; just two therapists having the honest, uncomfortable conversation we usually only hear behind closed doors.

    1h 10m
  2. The Breakup Episode

    Jun 26

    The Breakup Episode

    Why does a breakup feel like actual, physical withdrawal?" In our latest episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney are pulling back the curtain on the messy, exhausting, and beautifully human reality of heartbreak. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at your phone at 2 AM, wondering how you went from "forever" to strangers, this one is for you. Here is a sneak peek of what Habiba and Kaylan are breaking down today: The Heartbreak Brain: Why your brain treats a breakup exactly like quitting something addictive cold-turkey (and how to navigate the cravings). The "Closure" Myth: Why waiting for your ex to give you closure is keeping you stuck, and how to create it for yourself. The Post-Breakup Playbook: Practical, therapist-approved boundaries to set right now to protect your peace (yes, including the unfollow button). Whether you are fresh out of a relationship, processing an old wound, or supporting a friend through the trenches, let's normalize the fact that letting go is incredibly hard work.

    1h 5m
  3. I Couldn’t Tell You

    Jun 19

    I Couldn’t Tell You

    What happens when the person trained to help others navigate trauma faces an unimaginable crisis of their own? What happens after you survive the medical crisis, return home, and realize the true battle has only just begun? In this incredibly raw and vital episode, we step outside the clinical space to talk with Sarah Deschamps, a former teacher, mother, and author of the internationally recognized Journey to Japan: A Life-Saving Memoir. Sarah is back with us to talk about her highly anticipated new book, I Couldn't Tell You: The True Story of a Mother and Daughter’s Journey to Overcome Their Mental Health Demons. After enduring years overseas, navigating her daughter’s severe physical illnesses and seven major surgeries, Sarah thought the worst was behind them. Instead, a new diagnosis triggered a deeply complicated wave of psychological trauma. Today, she opens up about the intersection of medical trauma and mental health, and the parallel unraveling of a mother and daughter trying to survive their own internal demons. What We Dive Into: The Aftermath of Trauma: Why the end of physical surgeries is often just the beginning of the psychological battle. The Teacher’s Mask: Balancing the demands of a classroom while secretly carrying a mountain of family trauma. Breaking the Silence: Overcoming the cultural and personal pressure to "keep things to yourself" and hide your pain. The Mother-Daughter Bond: How fighting for your child's life can wind a relationship too tightly, and how they are learning to heal together. "I did absolutely everything I could think of to give my daughter the best possible outcome. In the process, I lost myself, my marriage, and my mental health, but I didn't believe there was any other path." This episode is a heavy, beautiful, and profoundly honest look at the hidden toll of chronic illness on a family's mental health. If you are parenting through a crisis or fighting your own quiet battles, this conversation will make you feel seen.

    51 min
  4. When “Just Friends” Gets Complicated

    Jun 12

    When “Just Friends” Gets Complicated

    In this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we take on a question that creates tension in many relationships but is rarely discussed openly: Can you have close friends of the opposite sex while in a committed partnership? We explore the difference between healthy friendships and emotional boundary crossings, how insecurity and past experiences shape reactions, and why clarity, transparency, and communication matter more than rigid rules. This conversation looks at trust, respect, emotional intimacy, and the unspoken expectations couples often carry into relationships. Rather than framing it as right or wrong, we offer a therapy-informed lens to help you evaluate what feels appropriate, safe, and aligned within your own relationship. Because the issue isn’t friendship, it’s boundaries, honesty, and how you protect the emotional space of your partnership.

    57 min
  5. Your Pace, Your Priorities, Your Life

    Jun 5

    Your Pace, Your Priorities, Your Life

    In this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we explore how comparison quietly pulls us away from our values, and why that drift can leave us feeling anxious, behind, or never quite enough. We unpack how social comparison shows up in careers, relationships, parenting, appearance, and success, and how it can distort what actually matters to us. When we measure our lives against someone else’s highlight reel, we often lose sight of our own priorities, pace, and purpose. This conversation offers a grounded, therapy-informed look at how to notice when comparison is driving your decisions, reconnect with your personal values, and make choices that feel aligned rather than reactive. Because peace doesn’t come from catching up to others, it comes from coming back to yourself.

    53 min
  6. A Deck of Questions, A Lot of Insight

    May 29

    A Deck of Questions, A Lot of Insight

    In this special Q&A episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, Dr. Habiba Zaman and Kaylan Maloney pull listener questions directly from the card deck Know Thyself and answer them in real time. Each prompt sparks an honest, unscripted conversation about relationships, emotional patterns, boundaries, self-awareness, and the inner work that shapes how we show up in the world. What unfolds is part therapy insight, part personal reflection, and part invitation for you to pause and consider your own answers alongside theirs. This episode feels less like an interview and more like sitting in the room with two therapists as they think out loud, unpack meaningful questions, and model the kind of curiosity that leads to real growth. Play along, reflect as you listen, and discover what your own answers might reveal.

    36 min
  7. Love Isn’t the Fix You Think It Is

    May 22

    Love Isn’t the Fix You Think It Is

    On this episode of The Secret Life of Therapists Podcast, we explore a hard truth many people discover too late: romantic relationships don’t heal unresolved wounds; they expose them. We unpack why doing your own healing work before entering a relationship changes everything. From attachment patterns and emotional triggers to boundaries, self-worth, and communication, this conversation looks at how unhealed trauma quietly shapes who you choose, what you tolerate, and how you show up in love. You’ll hear why “finding the right person” is far less powerful than becoming a regulated, self-aware partner first, and how healing creates the foundation for connection that feels safe, mutual, and sustainable rather than chaotic, codependent, or draining. If you’ve ever wondered why the same relationship patterns keep repeating, or why love can feel harder than it should, this episode offers a compassionate and practical lens for breaking the cycle. Because the healthiest relationships aren’t built on chemistry alone, they’re built on two people who have done the work.

    1h 5m
  8. The Venus Fly Trap: Chemistry or Trauma?

    May 15

    The Venus Fly Trap: Chemistry or Trauma?

    Why do we keep choosing the wrong person to love? In this episode of Secret Life of Therapists, Dr. Stephen Edwards, author and therapist, breaks down how unhealthy coping patterns shape our relationships. He explains that patterns like anxiety, avoidance, fear of abandonment, or people-pleasing often come from early life experiences and can lead us toward partners who feel familiar… even when they hurt us. Dr. Edwards also wrote The Venus Fly Trap: Sex, Lies, and Repercussions, which is a raw memoir about obsession, chaotic love, and emotional destructiveness that illustrates how powerful—and self-sabotaging—attraction can be when coping gets entangled with desire. Big takeaway: until we understand our coping strategies, we risk mistaking emotional familiarity for safety and repeating the same painful cycles over and over. Dr.Stephen Paul Edwards Media Kit here

    59 min
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About

Secret Life of Therapists is an unfiltered, unscripted, and unapologetically unedited exploration of what it means to be human through the eyes of therapists who live these questions as deeply as they study them. Hosted by Dr. Habiba Zaman, the podcast dives into life, love, relationships, career, identity, and sex in a way that is raw, vulnerable, and at times delightfully unhinged. These are the conversations therapists have behind closed doors; honest reflections, personal reckonings, and uncomfortable truths that rarely make it into the therapy room. There are no polished scripts or performative expertise here. Just real therapists speaking candidly about desire, doubt, boundaries, burnout, intimacy, ambition, and the messy realities of being both the helper and the human. Expect nuance over neat answers, curiosity over certainty, and authenticity over optics. This is therapy-adjacent, not therapeutic. An invitation to witness the inner lives of therapists as they grapple with the same complexities as everyone else, only out loud. Send queries or interests for topics to info@drhabiba.net

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Habiba Jessica Zaman
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    27
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    ©2025 Secret Life of Therapists Podcast. All rights reserved. Unauthorized use prohibited by law.
  • Show Website
    Secret Life of Therapists