Unbottled

Marcy Backhus
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After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

  1. 3d ago

    Step Six Readiness

    Send us Fan Mail We walk through Step Six and get honest about why “defects of character” aren’t proof we’re broken but proof we learned how to survive. We trade perfection for willingness and use simple questions to start letting go of the patterns that quietly run our lives.  • step six unpacked and why twelve words can take years  • redefining “God” as a higher power that works for you  • character defects as survival strategies rather than identity  • alcohol as a solution that covered fear, control, resentment, and perfectionism  • why sobriety doesn’t erase anxiety or perfectionism overnight  • willingness before change and surrender over force  • the closet analogy for readiness to let go  • one-defect practice for the week and the question “what am I trying to protect”  Share with a friend, share with the people you know.  On my website, MarcyBackusmedia.com, will be a companion worksheet, step six reflection.

  2. Jul 17

    How To Handle Friends And Family After You Quit Drinking

    Send us Fan Mail I'm on vacation this week, so I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes. If you missed it the first time—or if you need the reminder—this one's worth another listen. In this episode, we talk about one of the biggest surprises in sobriety: how your relationships change when you stop drinking. Recovery isn't just about putting down the alcohol. It changes family dynamics, friendships, and sometimes even the way people see you. In this episode, we cover: The three common "camps" people tend to fall into when you get sober.Why loved ones often stay quiet, minimize the problem, or unintentionally enable.How your sobriety changes the whole room—not just you.What it sounds like when support turns into pressure, guilt, or dismissal.Why early sobriety is about focusing on yourself—and when that can become unhealthy.How to set clear, kind boundaries so everyone feels more comfortable.A real-life example of navigating alcohol at a dinner with friends.Practical ways family and friends can truly help, including attending open AA meetings or exploring Al-Anon.Why some relationships naturally fade after you quit drinking—and why that's clarity, not failure.I hope you enjoy this replay, and I'll be back soon with brand-new episodes. And before you go, if you're enjoying these conversations, I'd love for you to check out my other two podcasts. Inside Marcy's Mind is where we talk about life—the funny, frustrating, unexpected, and wonderfully ordinary moments we all share. Aging Ain't for Sissies keeps it real with honest conversations, a little humor, and a little sass about what it really looks like to age intentionally instead of quietly. You can find all three shows, plus new episodes, updates, and more at MarcyBackhusMedia.com—that's Marcy with a Y, Backhus with a CK—or wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts. Thanks for spending part of your day with me. Enjoy the episode!

  3. Jul 10

    Relapse Does Not Erase Your Sober Time!

    Send us Fan Mail I'm taking a little time away to refill my cup on vacation, so this week I'm sharing one of my favorite repeat episodes. Whether it's your first time hearing it or you're listening again, I hope it meets you exactly where you are. In this episode, we're talking about relapse—without shame, without judgment, and with a whole lot of honesty. We explore why relapse often starts long before the first drink through isolation, stress, and subtle shifts in our thinking. Most importantly, we talk about how to recognize the warning signs early and what to do if a slip happens. In this episode, we cover: Why relapse is usually a gradual process that begins with thinking and disconnection.Common warning signs like isolation, resentment, stress, and romanticizing drinking.What people mean when they say, "Your disease does push-ups in the parking lot."The relapse thoughts that sound perfectly reasonable—but can be incredibly dangerous.Why hiding after a slip only feeds the problem, while connection is what helps us heal.Practical next steps after a relapse: reach out, tell the truth, get back to meetings, and start again.How friends and family can support recovery without shaming or enabling.How relapse can uncover weak spots like burnout, overconfidence, and unresolved pain.If you're struggling today, please don't do it alone. Reach out. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. You can always email me at marcybackhusmedia@gmail.com, or visit MarcyBackhusMedia.com—that's Marcy with a Y and Backhus with a CK—where you can send me a message through the website. Thanks for being here, and I hope this episode reminds you that recovery is never about perfection—it's about coming back, one day at a time.

  4. Jul 3

    AA Step Five And The Courage To Tell The Truth

    Send us Fan Mail We talk through AA Step Five and why telling the truth to God, ourselves, and another person can feel terrifying while also being the most freeing move we make in sobriety. We connect the work of Step Four to the relief of Step Five, and we share practical ways to protect sobriety during holidays and high-pressure moments. • why Steps One through Five set a strong foundation • protecting sobriety during holiday weekends and drinking-heavy events • the role of secrets, shame, and isolation in addiction • why Step Five is not confession for forgiveness • what “exact nature of our wrongs” means in plain language • why sharing with a trusted sponsor or recovery-informed listener matters • how trauma and what happened to us can belong in Step Five • practical guidance for pacing, pausing, and continuing later • reflection questions to identify the secret with the most power If today's episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear what I had to say.

  5. Jun 26

    Step Four Without The Shame

    Send us Fan Mail We break down AA Step Four and replace the dread with a simple truth: an inventory is information, not condemnation. We walk through resentments, fears, and patterns so we can stop chasing relief and start building real freedom in sobriety.  • step four as a practical inventory rather than a report card  • why alcohol often functions as a solution to buried pain  • resentments as the “number one offender” and how they keep old wounds alive  • separating trauma from blame while asking how it affects us today  • fear as a hidden driver behind anger, perfectionism, people pleasing, and control  • our part as pattern-spotting for freedom, not self-hate  • “done is better than perfect” and why we work with a sponsor  • a weekly awareness practice to start before writing anything  If this episode helped you, please share it with someone who might need a little encouragement today.  If you're enjoying my summer series, be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's episode, Step Five, where we talk about one of the most powerful and surprisingly freeing conversations you'll ever have.

  6. Jun 19

    Step Three Surrender

    Send us Fan Mail The moment AA Step Three comes up, I can feel the tension rise, and I get it. “Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him” can sound like a religious demand, a loss of autonomy, or a deal-breaker if you’ve been hurt by faith, you’re angry, or you don’t believe in God at all. So I slow it down and translate what Step Three is really asking for: willingness. A decision to stop acting like you have to run the entire universe by yourself in order to stay sober. We talk about why control is the hidden fuel behind so much anxiety, resentment, and fear in addiction and in everyday life. If controlling everything worked, recovery wouldn’t be necessary. I share a simple metaphor that makes Step Three practical: you’ve been driving the car for years, crashing, speeding, missing exits, and still insisting you’ve got it. Surrender is pulling over, moving to the passenger seat, and letting something greater than self drive, whether that’s God, the AA rooms, your community, nature, or any Higher Power you can honestly accept. I also unpack the Step Three Prayer line “relieve me of the bondage of self,” because emotional sobriety often starts when we admit the call is coming from inside the house. Healthy surrender isn’t being a doormat or avoiding hard choices; it’s accepting reality, doing your part, setting boundaries, and letting go of outcomes you can’t control. You’ll leave with a clear weekly challenge and a stronger foundation for Step Four’s fearless moral inventory. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs relief, and leave a review with the one thing you’re ready to loosen your grip on today.

  7. Jun 12

    Finding Hope In Step Two Without Religion

    Send us Fan Mail Step Two stops being a scary sentence when we treat it like a doorway to hope instead of a test of religion. I break down what “higher power” and “restore us to sanity” really mean, and why willingness is enough to start.  • why Step Two makes people freeze and how “came to believe” gives you time  • how a higher power can be God, the group, nature, honesty, or community  • what “sanity” means in sobriety as irrational thinking around alcohol  • why alcoholism pushes isolation and how recovery pushes connection  • the difference between belief and willingness and why willingness wins  • what restoration can look like in real life, one honest choice at a time  Every morning, say one simple sentence: Help me stay sober today. At night, say: Thank you for keeping me sober today.

  8. Jun 5

    Step One — The Step Nobody Wants But Everybody Needs

    Send us Fan Mail We kick off our summer 12-step series with Step One and tell the truth about why “powerless” feels so offensive. We reframe it as relief and strategy, name what unmanageability can look like in real life, and offer questions to help you decide what you already know.  • why the word powerless triggers our need for control  • powerlessness as “once I start, something changes”  • the rule-making phase and the myth of controlled drinking  • mental gymnastics as a full-time job with no benefits  • unmanageability that looks quiet: shame, anxiety, secrecy, irritability  • surrender as wisdom, not humiliation or weakness  • grief for alcohol and grief for the fantasy of drinking normally  • what Step One looks like day to day: meetings, texting someone, pouring it out, not buying it  • questions to reflect on: trust, relationships, sleep, health, mood, money, self-respect  • reminders about support: AA meetings, counselors, recovery groups, doctors, therapists, medical caution with withdrawal  If you like this kind of real talk, but want it with a little more life, laughter, and what are we even doing here? Energy, come listen to Inside Marcy's Mind. Check in aging aphysics. Hugs and kisses go out and do something positive.

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About

After 38 years of sobriety and 5 years of podcasting, I finally had the good sense to put the two together. Unbottled is where we crack open all things sobriety—without the shame, the whispering, or the “I’m fine” face we all perfected in the 90s. This is a space for honest conversations, practical tools, laugh-so-you-don’t-cry stories, and the kind of truth that only comes after decades of doing the work and living to tell about it. Whether you’re sober-curious, long-time sober, or somewhere in the messy middle, we’re going to talk about the habits, people, boundaries, victories, and ridiculous moments that shape a sober life. Think of Unbolted as the place where we unhook the armor, loosen the bolts, and talk real sobriety—candid, witty, a little sassy, and full of hope because life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop tightening everything down and start opening up.

Information

  • Creator
    Marcy Backhus
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    33
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Unbottled
  • Show Website
    Unbottled

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