Mended Roses

kokila Karthik
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Mended Roses is where self-mastery meets liberation strategy. For women exhausted from performing, people-pleasing, and auditioning for lives they'll never get to live. Host Kokila blends business leadership, feminist philosophy, and trauma-informed healing to dismantle the Good Girl script running your life. Each episode delivers frameworks for recoding your internal authority, cleaning house in your mind, and refusing to apologize for mattering. Whether you're clawing through postpartum depression, building a company, or simply tired of saying yes when your body screams no—this is your

Episodes

  1. FEB 4

    The Woman Who Rode 78,000 Kilometers Back to Herself

    The bond that broke was not between mother and child. It was between my body and my mind. When trauma hits, your mind leaves your body to survive. That is what happens in the OR. That is what kept happening every day after. Eventually, the disconnection becomes the depression.

    16 min

  2. 12/30/2025

    How I healed postpartum depression through cycling and ancient Stoic mindfulness. The practice that saved me.

    In Episode 2 of Mended Roses, I share the moment postpartum depression nearly broke me. Standing in my living room, unwashed for days, both babies crying, I thought I was the problem. My partner said it was normal. But I knew something was deeply wrong. That is when I picked up a bike. And it saved my life. On that first ride, something shifted. At every intersection, I had to choose. Left or right. Fast or slow. Stop or continue. For the first time in years, I trusted my own body to know the answer. Cycling became my practice ground for reclaiming self-trust. But I needed more than rides. I needed a tool for everyday moments when triggers arrived and old patterns pulled me back. That is when I discovered Prosoche, an ancient Stoic mindfulness practice. In this episode, I teach you the three-part Prosoche practice that helped me heal. Morning intention. The pause throughout your day. Evening reflection. I share a real example of how this practice stopped a spiral and gave me back my power. If you are healing from postpartum depression, breaking people-pleasing patterns, or learning to trust yourself again, this episode is for you. Topics covered: postpartum depression recovery, mindfulness practices for mothers, Stoic philosophy for healing, cycling and mental health, reclaiming self-trust, breaking unconscious patterns, feminist healing, people-pleasing recovery Trigger warning: Discussion of postpartum depression, mental health crisis

    9 min

  3. 12/19/2025

    Inner travel through the Emotional Healing, and Inner Transformation — Mended Roses with Kokila Rajendran

    Welcome to Mended Roses. I am Kokila Rajendran. This is my first episode. I call it The Girl Who Learned to Disappear. I start with a question I asked last week. If you were not afraid of letting anyone down, what would you want. Many people sat with a blank page. They could not remember what wanting feels like. I know that feeling. Today I share my story. It is about a little girl who learned early that her voice did not count. Her feelings could be ignored. Her life felt like something to apologize for. That girl was me. If you struggle to know what you want, listen close. You did not forget. Someone taught you to forget. A long time ago. I grew up with my grandmother until age twelve. From outside, I looked like a princess. People cared for me. They protected me. I felt safe. Nobody saw what happened inside. I spoke my thoughts only in my head. Outside I stayed quiet. I watched others. As the youngest, I learned by observing. I learned you do not ask for help. Even when you need it most. I was nine or ten. A family gathering happened at my parents house. I came from grandmothers place. Cousins arrived from a far state in India. I felt excited. Other children to play with at last. We ran around. We played. Then one cousin broke my fathers favorite pot. He grew a plant in it for years. I watched it fall. I watched it break. Everyone knew I did not do it. My father knew. He looked at me. He shouted at me. Not at the cousin. I cannot yell at guests, he said. My daughter should have stopped them. I stood there. Nine years old. Punished for something I did not do. Told that my cousins feelings mattered more than truth. I mattered less than peace. I could not accept it. I left with tears on my face. In that moment I learned my feelings get pushed aside. My truth weighs less than others happiness. I stay only if I make others feel good. I stayed sensitive. Kind. People now call that weak. I figured out rules that changed all the time. The rule from that day stayed. You take blame when others mess up. You manage how others feel. You give up your feelings to belong. I became a watcher. I solved problems in my head. I saw issues coming. I fixed them before anyone noticed. I learned to disappear. Outside I still looked like a princess. Everything provided. Everything handled. Inside nobody saw. I spent my life learning not to exist. I thought of others needs before mine. Asking help meant weakness. Speaking up brought risk. My voice counted less than others comfort. Marriage came. My husband is a good man. He never asked me to disappear. He welcomed my voice. I did not know how to use it. Twenty years of practice made me invisible. I read people well. I knew their needs. I made myself small so they felt big. He asked what I want for dinner. I said what do you feel like eating. He asked what to do this weekend. I said I do not mind. You pick. He saw me as nice. Easy. Flexible. Truth was different. I stood nine years old by the broken pot. What I think counts less than what keeps others happy. I did what I learned. Disappear. Stay small. Trade feelings for belonging. Twins arrived. Marriage made me smaller. Children made me invisible. Choices centered on them. Best for babies. Keep them safe. Help them grow. My needs stayed off the list. Like at nine years old. That freeze showed truth. The girl who learned to disappear stayed. She hid better. The woman I became stood by that pot. Believing I manage everyone else. I have no needs. Listen if this sounds familiar. You sit unable to name what you want. Someone taught you the same. That girl inside tries to keep you safe. She makes you small. We help her when we see her. We reclaim what we lost when we remember it. I am Kokila Rajendran. This is Mended Roses. For the ache inside. Do the work. You are a Mended Rose. Your broken places prove you survived. Light enters there.

    7 min

  4. 12/17/2025

    For the ache inside

    Mended Roses is for women who said yes when their body screamed no. We expose the scripts keeping you small, dismantle the Good Girl programming, and give you frameworks to reclaim autonomy. Feminism meets strategy meets healing. Your compliance was engineered. Your freedom is a choice.

    2 min
  • 4 Episodes

About

Mended Roses is where self-mastery meets liberation strategy. For women exhausted from performing, people-pleasing, and auditioning for lives they'll never get to live. Host Kokila blends business leadership, feminist philosophy, and trauma-informed healing to dismantle the Good Girl script running your life. Each episode delivers frameworks for recoding your internal authority, cleaning house in your mind, and refusing to apologize for mattering. Whether you're clawing through postpartum depression, building a company, or simply tired of saying yes when your body screams no—this is your

Information

  • Creator
    kokila Karthik
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    4
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © kokila Karthik
  • Show Website
    Mended Roses