Caregiver Burnout Queens

Caregiver Queens
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Welcome to the best part of caregiving, COMMUNITY! Tami & Karen share their journey knowledge and stories. We share actionable steps for you to become

  1. May 5

    S2 E25 Trials, Tribulations, and New Beginnings

    In this episode, Karen and Tami, the "Caregiver Burnout Queens," return to share their raw, unfiltered experiences navigating the emotional and physical complexities of caregiving. While they emphasize they are not medical professionals, they offer a supportive space for fellow caregivers to feel seen and heard through their personal "trials and tribulations." Karen’s day began with a mix of health checkups and unexpected community encounters. After fasting for blood work and an ECG—part of a necessary follow-up for a previous fall—she took a walk that served as a microcosm of the caregiver experience. A Bittersweet Reunion: Karen reconnected with a long-lost neighbor, only to learn the woman’s 49-year-old son was recently diagnosed with bone cancer. The conversation highlighted a common caregiver dilemma: the prioritization of illness. The neighbor had been postponing her own necessary surgery to support her son’s treatments, illustrating the self-sacrifice that often leads to burnout. Navigating Triggers: The peace of Karen's walk was briefly shattered by an encounter with her ex-husband. She describes the immediate "energy drain" and the conscious effort required to disengage. By stating her truth and walking away, she practiced intentional boundaries, choosing not to let the interaction consume her space. Tami shared a deeply vulnerable update regarding her physical health and the mental toll of mounting limitations. Following a visit to her osteopath, she received news that she must stop going to the gym to prevent further injury. The Grief of Limitation: Tami described the "shock" and tears that followed this news. For a caregiver, physical activity is often a vital outlet; having it "taken away" felt like a significant personal loss. Pivoting to Yoga: On the recommendation of her therapist, Tami is looking toward yoga as a low-impact alternative. While she struggled with the initial transition—admitting to a "wonky" night of processing the change—she is committed to finding a new rhythm. Small Wins: Despite the "brain fog" and the "decline" she feels, Tami celebrated small victories: 20 minutes of work on their website, completing errands at the post office, and maintaining her daily therapeutic journaling. The episode centers on the difficult transition from "complete silence" to finding one's voice, and the ongoing journey toward a sustainable balance. Pacing vs. Pushing: Both Queens discussed the necessity of learning to pace themselves. Whether it’s setting timers for tasks or being intentional about reading for pleasure, they are moving away from the "go until you fall" mentality. The Power of Release: Karen and Tami emphasized that acknowledging frustration is the first step to releasing it. By addressing these emotions openly, they create "more space for abundance" and healing. Professional Boundaries: In a practical turn, Karen requested Tami send over Power of Attorney (POA) documents, highlighting the administrative realities that caregivers must manage alongside their emotional labor. The "Caregiver Burnout Queens" remind listeners that caregiving is a journey of constant shifts. It requires "unicorn and rainbows" optimism balanced with the gritty reality of medical appointments and personal boundaries. By embracing their frustrations and celebrating 20-minute wins, Karen and Tami continue to model how to "do better and get better" every day.

    22 min

  2. Apr 23

    S2 E24 : Unicorns & Rainbows, Permission (guilt monkey) & Boundaries

    Welcome to the Caregiver Burnout Queens Podcast, where we strip away the clinical talk and get real about the beautiful, messy, and often exhausting world of caregiving. Hosted by Tami and Karen, two friends who have walked the walk and survived the trenches, this is your safe space to exhale, laugh until you cry, and finally kick that "guilt monkey" off your back.In this episode, we are diving deep into a word every caregiver struggles with: Permission. The Guilt Monkey vs. The Permission CardHave you ever felt like you needed a hall pass just to enjoy a cup of coffee or a moment of silence? Karen shares a story about a deck of Pleasure Alchemy she recently picked up. When she pulled the "Permission" card, it sparked a massive realization about the "guilt monkey" that sits on a caregiver’s shoulder, whispering that we shouldn’t be happy if our loved one is suffering. We’re breaking down why we feel the need to ask for permission to live our lives and how to reclaim your right to happiness without the side of guilt. Dance Parties and Cards Karen lets us in on her secret weapon for staying in an elevated state: the "Dance Party for One." Whether it’s a favorite song or a full-on living room rave, music is her tether to positivity. We also share a hilarious look into our caregiver support group, where we started pulling oracle cards. What started as a fun experiment turned into a breakthrough, opening the group up to more laughter, deeper conversations, and a surprisingly productive, uplifting energy. Who knew a deck of cards could do all that? Unicorns & Rainbows versus Horseshoes and Hand Grenades gets Tami honest about her mental shift. She’s choosing to live in the world of Unicorns & Rainbows instead of "horseshoes and hand grenades." We talk about how much better it feels to consciously stay in a positive headspace and why protecting that peace is a full-time job. Doing the Work: Self-Esteem & Anxiety is not all dance parties; we’re doing the internal heavy lifting, too. Tami walks us through a Self-Esteem Worksheet she’s been using to flip the script on negative thoughts. We review the first three sections together, sharing our different perspectives on the questions and giggling over the struggle of actually trying to finish a daily worksheet when life is chaotic. Plus, we share a practical tool for those high-stress moments: the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique. If you’ve ever felt an anxiety attack coming on, this simple method is a lifesaver for pulling yourself back to the present. Caregiving is even harder when you’re dealing with "dangerous personalities" like narcissists. Tami opens up about her lifetime of experience navigating these dynamics with her mother and how Karen’s daily check-ins have helped her find—and keep—strong boundaries. They talk about the power of a "thank you" call and how having a partner in crime can move you from Caregiver Paralysis back into a place of strength. Tune in for the raw truth, the big laughs, and the permission you’ve been waiting for.

    54 min

  3. Apr 22

    S2 E23 : Unicorns & Rainbows, Toxic Optimism

    Welcome to another episode of the Caregiver Burnout Queens podcast! Join your hosts, Tami and Karen, as they strip away the filters and get raw about the bone-deep exhaustion, the "numb fog brain," and the messy, beautiful journey back to wellness. The Shadows of the Journey We don’t sugarcoat it here. Tami opens up about just how dark the caregiver tunnel can get. She shares the reality of hitting rock bottom—those days where she was "looking like death warmed over" in the same pair of sweats, unable to leave the bed, paralyzed by a brain that felt like it was filled with static. Karen reflects on the moments when even the simplest self-care, like brushing your teeth, felt like an insurmountable mountain that just got forgotten.Tami gets honest about the physical toll: a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, a condition often triggered by the exact kind of prolonged stress and trauma caregivers endure. It was a wake-up call that she couldn't ignore anymore. From "Horseshoes and Handgrenades" to "Unicorns and Rainbows" If you know Karen, you know she lives in a world of Unicorns and Rainbows. For a long time, Tami felt more like she was dodging "horseshoes and handgrenades." But in this episode, the ladies discuss how Karen’s relentless optimism eventually became Tami’s lifeline. They explore how shifting your perspective isn’t about ignoring the pain, but about finding the light within it. The Power of the Pivot: Boundaries and Guilt Tami shares a powerful, real-time story about visiting her mother in Long-Term Care. After a productive morning fueled by her wellness patches, Tami arrived to find her mom happy and exercising. But when they returned to the room, the "negative talk" began.For the first time, Tami didn't drown in it. She shares how she stayed true to her boundaries, refusing to take on the guilt or the verbal abuse, even when the "drama of tears" started. Tami is learning to say it out loud: "I am proud of myself." It’s a bittersweet victory, but a vital one for her health. As her daughter told her: “The greatest gift you can give me is your health.” Tools for the Fog: Journaling and Modalities How do you organize a life that feels like it’s spinning out of control? The 5-Topic Journal: Tami explains her multi-subject system for tracking doctor requests, ultrasounds, and blood work.The Calendar Journal: Karen discusses the beauty of a detailed calendar—stickers, color-coded tabs, and all.Alternative Modalities: Tami (who is allergic to most medications) and Karen discuss the different therapies and patches they use to manage their physical and emotional wellbeing.Healing Through Connection From Karen’s stories about the healing power of gardening and community interaction to the "therapeutic" process of recording this very podcast, the Queens emphasize one thing:  You cannot do this alone. We are not doctors—we are just two women sharing the "crazy painful journey" that we’ve managed to transform into a wellness journey. We are finally craving structure, celebrating the "baby steps," and learning that it is okay to put ourselves first. Tune in for the giggles, the tears, and the reminder that you deserve to find your own Unicorns and Rainbows.

    57 min

  4. Apr 21

    S2 E22 : The Medicine of "No" : Navigating Gaslighting and the Brave Act of Self-Rescue

    What happens when the people you are trying to support turn into the primary source of your stress? This week, Tami and Karen are pulling back the curtain on the "messy" side of caregiving and family dynamics—dealing with problematic personalities, the psychological warfare of gaslighting, and the radical, rebellious act of putting your own healing first. The Gaslight Trap: Reclaiming Your RealityKaren opens the conversation with a vulnerable look at a recent family conflict. We’ve all been there: you step in to offer support, only to be met with toxic behavior and a side of gaslighting that leaves you questioning your own sanity. Karen breaks down how she navigated a tricky situation where a family member tried to weaponize her communication style against her.Through this "trial by fire," Karen reached a powerful epiphany: Her communication isn't the problem. Seeing the behavior for what it truly was—a projection of someone else's issues—allowed her to stop internalizing the blame. Karen shares how she is now proactively "calling in the cavalry," whether it’s for emotional support or practical help, like hiring a professional to help set up her home. For the first time, she’s creating a sanctuary she doesn't feel the need to escape from. The "Rebel" Caregiver: Tami’s Breakthrough with ACTTami takes us inside her latest sessions with her psychotherapist, and the story takes a surprising turn. Tasked with using an ACT PAIN TRACKER journal to rate and track her physical pain, Tami decided to do something she almost never does: She rebelled.Instead of being the "perfect student," Tami chose to put the journal away while traveling. She chose to escape the weight of responsibility entirely. Hear why her therapist actually celebrated this act of defiance! For a caregiver, sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do is stop "doing" and start just "being." The Double-Edged Sword of Stillness However, Tami gets real about the aftermath of that quiet time. When the noise of caregiving stops, the reality of physical pain often gets louder. Tami discusses the "shock" of truly feeling the extent of her Fibromyalgia and back issues without the distraction of a "to-do" list. It’s a raw look at the fear that comes when you realize you can’t just "muscle through" a physical crisis with sheer willpower. The ladies discuss the danger of the "inner critic." Tami’s therapist issued a stern challenge: the negative self-talk has to stop. Tami explores how she is leaning on Karen’s "positive affirmation" energy to rewire her brain and treat herself with the same compassion she gives to everyone else. The Guilt-Free Weekend: Setting the Ultimate Boundary In a major victory for caregivers everywhere, Tami shares how she finally broke the cycle of daily visits to her mother’s Long-Term Care (LTC) home. She tells the story of the moment she looked her mother in the eye and said, "I will be back on the weekend," and then—the hardest part—she actually stayed away. We dive deep into: The Sleep Debt: How chronic pain and caregiving stress age the body and why sleep is a non-negotiable medical necessity.Managing the Guilt Monster: Practical ways to handle the "bad daughter/son" feelings when you choose your health over a visit.The "Burnout Queen" Mandate: Why neglecting yourself because of someone else’s bad decisions is a trap that leads to the same hospital bed you’re trying to keep them out of.Adding timestamps if you have specific markers for these conversations.Including a "Reflection QClosing Thoughts:Taking care of ourselves isn’t a luxury; it’s the most important lesson we can learn. Whether you are dealing with a gaslighting relative or a body that is screaming for rest, this episode is your permission slip to stop, breathe, and choose you.

    31 min

  5. Apr 17

    S2 E21 : Conversations That Carry Us: Birthday Energy, Gratitude, and Toxic Optimism

    In this powerhouse follow-up to our "Birthday Energy" series, Tami and Karen are getting real about the physical toll of caregiving and the grit it takes to keep your crown straight when life gets heavy. In this episode, we’re diving into: The Reality of Chronic Pain: Tami opens up about her recent battle with Fibromyalgia. From the frustration of flare-ups and the "denial phase" to the breakthrough moment she found relief. Hear how a specific new modality—those patches we’ve been buzzing about—actually got her back to the gym and moving through her day without excruciating pain. Yes, it is possible to manage the monster! Healing Through Transition: Karen shares her vulnerable journey through divorce and the beautiful, messy process of reclaiming her space. She’s dropping tips and tricks on how to fall back in love with your own life while the world is shifting under your feet. Boundaries & The Caregiving Shift: As Karen’s caregiving duties evolve, she’s getting surgical with her boundaries. We talk about handling "mom triggers," breaking old patterns, and why she’s focusing her energy only on those who are truly open to help. The Power of "No" and the Law of Abundance: Karen shares a wild story about turning down a job that didn't fit—without panicking—and how the perfect opportunity appeared right on time. Silos, Salt Caves, and Success: We’re sharing our "Caregiver Survival Kit"—from the magic of salt lamps to our "Silo" organization method. Plus, we celebrate the small wins, like Tami’s morning dog walks and Karen’s light-switch victories. The Guilt Gap: Tami gets honest about the "daughter guilt" of not visiting her mother’s long-term care home every single day. With help from her therapist, she explains why choosing her own physical healing isn't selfish—it’s survival. The "Toxic Optimism" Debate: We’re tackling a controversial term. Is being "too positive" a bad thing? Tami explains why we need to use this label cautiously and how staying in a happy space is a conscious, necessary choice for caregivers. ✨ Special Segment: We are rocking our brand-new Caregiver Burnout Queens Swag! Karen shows off our new logo tees—because if we’re going to do the work, we’re going to look good doing it. Join us for an episode packed with affirmations, organization hacks, and the reminder that choosing your happiness is the ultimate act of rebellion.

    48 min

  6. Apr 15

    S2 : E20 - Birthday Energy: Gratitude, Growth & Grit

    Welcome back to the Caregiver Burnout Queens Podcast—where we talk about the real stuff: the heavy days, the learning, the setbacks, and the growth that still happens anyway. They giggle about Unicorns and rainbows, or what Tami always thinks about is horseshoes & handgranades. Karen talks about how she perceived the the horseshoe and handgrenades, which is completely different, but they giggle about how they both perceived it. Tami talks about how the retreat gave her time to ponder, also working on not having to be so integral with what is said the difference between right and wrong and just let it go. Learning when to walk away from the drama.  Karen talks about how proud of her daughter as a grown adult. Karen talks about her Gene Key and things she has to work on. And how she needs to work on her ability to celebrate in a traditional manner. Tami talks about the struggles she had while on her retreat, and work very hard on staying in a very positive state with Karens help to get through and learning how to communicate. Learning how to listen to instincts and navigate difficult times, and when to just stay laser focused on the positive things through the difficult situations. Tami talks about the pain and fibromyalgia, and being away form the responsibilities of caregiving and actually see the pain and real world. Learning to just observe, not having to explain, or feel bad about our stance or position on something. Learning and observing the patterns of repetitive behaviour.  Learning to listen to your instincts, understanding what the instincts are. Tami and Karen talk about how far they have come, better at communication, forgetting less and more consistency.  Overall Karen and Tami are grateful

    34 min

  7. Apr 15

    S2 E19: Communication & determination : Conversations that carry us

    Welcome back to the Caregiver Burnout Queens Podcast—where we talk about the real stuff: the heavy days, the learning, the setbacks, and the growth that still happens anyway. In today’s episode, Karen and Tami share how friendship can become a lifeline during caregiver strain. For them, caregiving wasn’t only about what they did—it was about how they communicated, how they were heard, and how they kept moving forward even when it felt hard. Karen explained she was dealing with technical issues and communication challenges. She described the frustration of speaking and feeling like it falls on deaf ears, and the difficulty of navigating a way of talking that others can actually hear and understand. That struggle mattered because when you’re already stretched thin, it’s painful when your voice doesn’t land. One moment became a turning point: Karen reading out loud to Tami. It helped Tami work through anxiety, and it helped Karen too. It supported her confidence and helped her get back into the book she’s been trying so desperately to read. It was a reminder that support doesn’t just comfort—it can spark progress. They also talked about “The Power of Friendship.” Karen and Tami stepped into each other’s shoes. Through that exchange, Tami learned how to do things without constant guilt. They built understanding, learned patience, and slowly shifted how they viewed themselves and each other. Even while things were challenging, they made room for beauty. Tami shared that they watched a storm blow through while staying connected on WhatsApp—so they could experience nature together even in stressful moments. Body language and communication were another key theme. Karen noted that when your voice isn’t heard, it can translate over time into frustration or the need to pivot. Tami added that sometimes communication goes beyond words—body language can guide you and help people read what you’re really trying to say. They both emphasized being a good listener, participating in conversation with intention, and making space when bandwidth is limited. Gratitude was constant. Tami thanked Karen for her positivity—especially the morning texts like “Good morning sunshine” and “Today will be another wonderful day.” Tami said those messages became something she looked forward to, and eventually she began texting Karen back the same encouragement. That rhythm of care became real emotional reciprocity. Tami also shared something deeper: the difference between compassion and empathy. She explained that she had the space to walk away and breathe—space to step back from pressure and return to herself. She even admitted she wanted to walk away from homework she had requested because she didn’t want to do it. That moment gave her perspective and helped her get healthier again. She hopes Karen gets the same opportunity when she’s home. Karen closed with excitement for what’s next: structure, schedule, and cooking for herself. She wants a rigid routine because she enjoyed the structure they built while she was at Tami's—and now she craves that feeling of success. It is also shared that Karen has been in a marriage for 25 years, and now she’s learning who she is outside of that. Tami looks forward to Karen standing up for herself and speaking freely—setting boundaries, including with Tami if needed. And the final takeaway was simple: learning what brings us joy, learning how to pivot, learning how to listen, and learning how to find your voice again—because caregiver burnout queens don’t just survive. They evolve.

    49 min

  8. Apr 7

    The dog wins control

    In this 23-second clip, Tami shares how the dog convinced her to change her plans—and somehow won control of the moment. It’s a funny story, but it connects to caregiving in a real way: caregivers often learn to put everyone else first, sometimes even forgetting to protect their own time. This is your reminder to set boundaries not just with people—but with situations and expectations too. Practice saying no when it’s needed, even when it feels hard. You deserve rest, control, and a life that’s yours.

    24 sec
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About

Welcome to the best part of caregiving, COMMUNITY! Tami & Karen share their journey knowledge and stories. We share actionable steps for you to become

Information

  • Creator
    Caregiver Queens
  • Years Active
    2025 - 2026
  • Episodes
    30
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Caregiver Queens
  • Show Website
    Caregiver Burnout Queens