The Salty Hoes Podcast. The Real Lives of Ex-Mormon Ex-Wives

The Salty Hoes

The Salty Hoes Podcast dives headfirst into the messy, brilliant, and often hilarious real lives of ex‑Mormon ex‑wives. With sharp minds, sharper wit, and zero interest in reverence, the Salty Hoes, Mel & Claire, unpack the cultural quirks, psychological twists, and unexpected freedoms that come with rewriting your life from scratch. Wade through the emotional debris of living as an ex-Mormon in Utah, and midlife dating with a boldness that says “therapy helped, but not enough to stop this.” It’s incisive, unfiltered, thoughtful, and irreverent; bound together with the existential comedy of

  1. 2d ago

    Reality Recap Real Housewives of Rhode Island S1E05: Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Screenshots. F*@#%ing EVERYTHING!

    Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Screenshots: RH of Rhode Island S1E5 Reality RecapMel and Claire (“the Salty Hoes”) recap The Real Housewives of Rhode Island S1E5, “Receipts. Proof. Timeline. Screenshots." starting with the women recovering from the rail-drinking fight as Alicia, Joellen, and Liz debrief and Alicia half-regrets calling Rosie a “whore.” At Kelsey’s sugar daddy’s 16,000-square-foot house, she cuts influencer Ashley’s hair, mentions a breakup rumor, and complains Rosie didn’t post her work, sparking a boat confrontation at Jack’s birthday. Liz and Jerry sell a sport-fishing boat, hinting at possible shady connections amid Dino’s drug-trafficking charges. The episode peaks when Joellen shows Rula screenshots proving Brian’s ongoing affair; Rula claims the texts could be AI and insists he’s “at the gym.” At a polo outing, Brian fakes a hospital emergency, is clocked missing his wedding ring, and Joellen tracks a timeline as the mistress posts from Brian’s car, leading to a chaotic on-camera blowup and Joellen’s theory that Brian wants Rula to leave him.00:00 Podcast Cold Open00:44 Reality Recap Setup01:52 Aftermath at Alicia's04:11 Joellen and Rula Drama05:36 Alicia's Whore Comment07:26 Kelsey's Mansion Salon08:31 Sugar Daddy Rumor15:06 Influencer Hair Chat16:29 Rosie Instagram Snub18:37 Boat Party Blowup23:26 Tears and Birthday Shade24:23 Liz and Jerry Boat Goodbye26:11 Boat Exit Fallout26:39 Joellen Meets Rula28:47 AI Text Denial29:34 Gym Line Iconic32:03 Polo Bus Setup34:32 Hospital Excuse Unravels38:17 Polo Day Arrivals40:40 Wedding Ring Caught42:38 Mistress Posts Proof45:26 Brian Flees Cameras49:18 Humiliation Theory51:42 Ratings And Wrap

    54 min

  2. 5d ago

    Lazymaxxing: Why Men Have So Much More Free Time Than Women

    The Droopy Mic, getting off the David Bus, and the Male Laziness Epidemic.Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) riff on a droopy “flaccid” microphone, then trade bleakly funny dating-app stories: a man who unmatched after Mel shared an interesting shark story, and another who endlessly outsourced planning a simple drink date, prompting Mel to unmatch him after he complained she wasn’t making it easy. The conversation broadens into decision fatigue, “feminine energy” expectations, and weaponized incompetence, arguing men often avoid mental and domestic labor while wanting women to both earn money and provide caretaking. They cite a 2024 report that working women do about twice the combined childcare/housework of working men, with lower-educated working mothers doing triple. Skeptical of evolutionary psychology claims by David Buss, they counter with evidence that women hunted in 80% of studied subsistence societies, plus examples of female cave artists and female hunters in burials. They close with a joke about “lady doctor” pay-gap logic and a plea for men to wash their sheets and underwear.00:00 Podcast Welcome Back00:38 Droopy Mic Banter01:24 Coffee Shop Hot Guys01:52 Dating Apps Return02:27 Shark Fear Unmatch05:24 The Non Planning Date09:52 Male Laziness Debate14:42 Housework Stats Reality18:53 Contradictory Expectations23:29 Manosphere And Femsphere25:33 Evolutionary Psych Skepticism32:20 David Buss Energetics34:56 Parental Investment Pushback36:12 Energy Efficiency Confusion36:58 Ancient Humans and Labor39:12 Hormones and Gender Myths40:31 Women Hunters Evidence41:24 Cave Art Was Women47:29 Graves and Bias Exposed50:58 Beauty Standards Shift53:23 Violence Justified as Biology55:39 Chimpanzees vs Bonobos01:00:21 Cleanliness and Socialization01:06:07 Weaponized Incompetence01:07:59 Ask Better Questions01:10:01 Lady Doctor Punchline01:11:13 Wrap Up and Wash Sheets

    1h 12m

  3. May 29 ·  Bonus

    Reality Recap Real Housewives of Rhode Island S1E04: Railed!

    Join Mel and Claire as they recap RHoRI season 1 episode 4. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island are still reeling from the disco party slash blowup. We join the ladies as they grudgingly film on a peasant beach rather than a posh private beach club and we learn about pizza chips. Pizza without the cheese? Rhode Island is certainly on the bleeding edge of culinary innovation! We also watch them try and juggle pedaling bikes on a railroad while mixing and guzzling cocktails. And of course, we have fights! Can't be a RHoRI episode without fights!

    39 min

  4. May 26

    Dirty Sodas and Divine Downloads: An Evening with Jessi Draper

    Stripper Juice Hangover Meets Angel Woo-Woo Night Claire and Mel (“The Salty Hoes”) record on a Saturday morning after Claire hosted Mel’s bubble dogs-themed birthday party featuring “Stripper Juice,” hot dogs, and desserts from Mel’s sister, though Claire forgot the caviar. They recap an outing to an “Angel Woo Woo” event with MomTok diva Jessi Draper from The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, a smug channeler/psychic, and Marciano, where attendees wore white while the Salty Hoes accidentally wore black, and a “dirty soda” line horrified them. Mel, skeptical of the supernatural, argues that woo-woo can prompt self-reflection but becomes predatory when sold as medical cures, citing examples like acupuncture research, supplements, vitamins, and folic acid. They praise Jessie’s authenticity, note Jessie and Marciano didn’t seem “casual,” condemn the psychic’s flippant claims about dead loved ones, shout out a considerate extra-tall man, and end by encouraging self-trust, friendships, and healthy coping post-divorce. 00:00 Meet The Salty Hoes 00:37 Birthday Hangover Recap 01:44 Bubble Dogs Party Theme 02:38 Family Praise And Cupcakes 05:37 Hosting And Hot Dog Plans 07:31 Jet Lag And Yoga Morning 08:29 Angel Woo Woo Night Out 10:09 What Is Angel Cards 13:03 Skepticism And Self Reflection 16:22 Kumare And Guru Culture 20:42 Acupuncture And Placebo Effects 24:25 Toxic Wellness And Cancer Claims 30:50 Supplements And Vitamin Myths 32:46 Vitamin D And Folic Acid 36:07 Event Setting And Dress Code 38:25 Jesse And Marciano Gossip 39:26 Jesse Wins the Crowd 40:25 Marciano Arrives in Style 40:58 Vanderpump Talk and Restaurants 47:00 Are They Really Casual 49:30 Leaving Early and Sweet Treats 49:46 Post Divorce Whiplash Explained 52:56 Mormon Culture and Fast Remarriage 58:15 Psychic Reading Red Flags 01:06:50 Rating the Night and Tall Guy Hero 01:10:16 Woo Woo TV and Coping Tools 01:12:42 Self Trust and Closing Thought

    1h 16m

  5. May 22 ·  Bonus

    Real Housewives of Rhode Island RHoRI S1E3: Disco Disaster

    The Salty Hoes are back with another reality recap! Real Housewives of Rhode Island continues to be absolutely jaw-dropping television. This week, we meet Liz's special friend/alleged mobster Dino, Kelsey's other boyfriend Bill, and Alicia's totally not creepy doll collection. There are a lot of them! We also have a showdown at Gerry's disco-themed birthday party and learn that going down to the seawall is the best way to prove to everyone you're not having an affair. The Ocean State continues to deliver!

    50 min

  6. May 19

    The Melissarella Birthday Ballyhoo

    The Salty Hoes reunite after Mel’s vacation to wish Mel a happy birthday. Mel recaps her birthday present to herself: a scuba trip with Neptune Divers to Chuuk Lagoon, Micronesia. What happens when two professors talk about a vacation? You get to hear all kinds of rambling about obscure World War II facts, how Americans and British frame history, inappropriate children's television shows, pirates, why more Americans don't have passports, and why you should give diving a try. Join the Salty Hoes for their most miscellaneous episode yet! 00:00 Welcome Back Salty Hoes 01:19 Mel Turns 50 02:21 Birthday Love Fest 04:46 Curiosity And Smartness 07:00 Safe Friendship Vibes08:39 Scuba Birthday Trip10:36 Getting To Chuuk 11:22 Jet Lag And Sleep 14:08 How Mel Started Diving 15:34 Liveaboard Boat Life 19:47 WWII Wrecks In Chuuk 21:20 History Narratives Tangent 27:22 Colonization And Poverty 31:58 Mormon Road Moment 35:27 What Diving Feels Like 36:51 Manta Rays And Diving With Son 38:35 Try Discover Scuba 40:33 Scuba Certification Timeline 41:26 Homestead Crater Dive Spot 41:50 Ragnar Relay War Stories 44:34 Birthday Traditions and Parties 47:13 Travel Bug Origins 48:50 Americans and Passports Debate 54:51 College Costs and Travel 57:41 Favorite Trips and Indonesia 59:49 Coral Reefs in Crisis 01:04:44 What Can We Do 01:08:36 Cycles Climate and Extinction 01:16:26 Closing Birthday Banter

    1h 23m

  7. May 15 ·  Bonus

    Salty Bite: Hot Men in the Wild vs. Unvaxxed Sperm Bitcoin

    Hot Men in the Wild vs. Unvaxxed Sperm Bitcoin Mel and Claire return as The Salty Hoes for a “Salty Bite” rant on online dating, with Claire declaring the apps “f@#king” awful and recommits to singlehood ... until they walk into their usual coffee shop and find a freakishly concentrated pack of wholesome, age-appropriate, mid-50s hot men, inspiring brief hope that meeting someone “in the wild” might still exist. They recap bailing on a speed-dating event due to jet lag and low expectations, then roast Bumble profiles: John whose entire bio is “I’m not vaccinated,” Larry who posts a sign claiming “Unvaxxed sperm is the next Bitcoin” and demands “Non-brainwashed,” Dave who calls tattooed/pierced women “mentally weak,” and Chase, a comma-chaos misogynist who rants about “boss women,” “sexual marketplace value,” and fish photos as a filter. They close by joking about the “Three Nephites.” 00:00 Salty Hos Intro 00:37 Done With Apps 01:54 Hot Guys Coffee Shop 04:20 Meet Them In Wild 04:42 Speed Dating Bailout 06:23 Dumpster Fire Profiles 06:33 Unvaxxed Bio John 08:39 Typhoid Larry Profile 11:00 Roasting Dave’s Bio 12:29 Dad Duty Ick 14:53 Low Bar Pride Points 15:53 One More Humdinger 15:59 Chase’s Comma Chaos 17:57 Sexual Marketplace Rant 19:24 Manosphere Buzzwords 20:38 Three Nephites Callback 21:10 Stay Salty Signoff

    22 min

  8. May 12

    The Word of What Now? Why Mormons Can't Drink Coffee.

    Dirty Soda, True Tea, and Brigham’s Bar: A Salty Dive into the Word of Wisdom. Mel and Claire (The Salty Hoes) catch up on a spa visit with Paulina at Spa Day, praising her Moonshine Versus Milk skincare line, then pivot to Mormon dietary rules inspired by “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” and dirty soda culture. They unpack the Word of Wisdom’s origins (Joseph Smith’s 1833 revelation, later formalized in 1852) and note it wasn’t consistently enforced until the early 1900s, with temple recommend requirements starting in 1921. Early leaders even drank coffee, tea, beer, and used wine for sacrament, and Brigham Young owned a bar. Reading Doctrine and Covenants 89, they discuss bans on alcohol, tobacco, and “hot drinks” (officially coffee and tea, not cocoa or herbal tea), caffeine debates, and the often-ignored instruction to eat meat sparingly and mainly in winter or famine, alongside health, anxiety, and virtue-signaling themes. 00:00 Meet The Salty Hoes 00:45 Spa Day With Paulina 02:56 Beauty Standards Catchup 05:36 Dirty Soda Culture 08:56 No Coffee No Tea 09:46 Word of Wisdom Origins 13:53 Early Mormon Drinking 17:57 Close Reading Begins 19:41 Alcohol Rules Explained 28:11 Tobacco Verse Breakdown 32:20 Nicotine Brain Effects 37:10 Smoking Genetics And Shame 39:16 Compassion Over Shame 40:22 Pray Away Myths 41:24 Hot Drinks Debate 42:17 Kombucha Chai Loopholes 44:59 Hot Drinks History 45:44 Ulcer Science Story 49:41 Coffee Tea Health Data 52:41 Pregnancy Body Trust 57:42 Dirty Soda Caffeine Wars 01:03:56 Mormon Tea 01:05:39 Meat Sparingly Verses 01:09:41 Stewardship And Climate 01:14:47 Promises Scrupulosity 01:19:23 Wrap Up And Farewell

    1h 21m
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5
out of 5
16 Ratings

About

The Salty Hoes Podcast dives headfirst into the messy, brilliant, and often hilarious real lives of ex‑Mormon ex‑wives. With sharp minds, sharper wit, and zero interest in reverence, the Salty Hoes, Mel & Claire, unpack the cultural quirks, psychological twists, and unexpected freedoms that come with rewriting your life from scratch. Wade through the emotional debris of living as an ex-Mormon in Utah, and midlife dating with a boldness that says “therapy helped, but not enough to stop this.” It’s incisive, unfiltered, thoughtful, and irreverent; bound together with the existential comedy of

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