The Stupid Gap

Ryan Gray
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Personal Journals
  • Updated Weekly

The Stupid Gap is the space between who you are and who you need to become in order to build a life that you don't want to escape. I've dedicated my life to the endless pursuit of personal growth, which means, I LIVE in that gap! The guests on this show have all undergone some sort of personal transformation and explored their own version of the stupid gap. I hope this show finds you in whatever stupid gap you're facing in life, and that your journey through it is made easier.

  1. 1d ago

    Stop Avoiding Your Emotions | Gunther Klaus

    Emotional avoidance can hide behind discipline, productivity, even fitness — and HYROX athlete and coach Gunther Klaus spent years using the gym to escape the discomfort he couldn't out-train. We get into where real confidence comes from, the mentor who told him he had no tolerance for sitting in his own emotions, and how he started running "progressive overload" on his feelings the way he trains his body. A conversation about agency, nervous-system regulation, and closing the gap between who you are and who you're becoming. I Offer Personal Skills & Mindset Coaching: https://thatryangray.com/ Connect with me on Socials: https://www.instagram.com/thatryangray/ Connect with Gunther: https://guntherklaus.com/ | https://www.instagram.com/guntherklaus/

    1h 24m
  2. He Spent Years Being Disciplined at the Wrong Thing | CJ Finley

    Jun 30

    He Spent Years Being Disciplined at the Wrong Thing | CJ Finley

    Delayed gratification might be quietly wasting your life — CJ Finley explains why discipline only pays off when it's aimed at the right goal. A world-class delayed gratifier who spent five years pointed the wrong way, CJ breaks down how to know when you're on the wrong path, why your work should feel like play, the "4 out of 7 days" framework, and his AAA framework for accomplishing almost anything. A conversation about identity change and building a life you don't want to escape. Connect with CJ: Instagram @cj.finley I Offer Personal Skills & Mindset Coaching: https://thatryangray.com/ Connect with me on Socials: https://www.instagram.com/thatryangray/

    1h 18m

  3. Jun 27

    Finding Your Own Path When the Tracks Disappear | Solo Episode

    Finding your own path means walking away from the one someone else laid out for you — even when that path looks perfect on paper. This is a solo reflection on my conversation with Jack Lesser, and the line of his that's lived in my head ever since: the opportunity is coming, and when it gets here, I'll kick the door down. I get into three things that conversation pulled loose. First, what it takes to get off someone else's path and onto your own — and why the moment you're finally on the right path is the moment the tracks disappear and it's just you. Second, the borrowed voice running the narration in your head, and how I've learned to quiet it long enough to hear the one underneath that's actually mine. Third, why presence, agency, and accountability are muscles — they build, but they atrophy the second you stop using them — and the creative pilgrimage I took to rebuild mine. This isn't a story about having it figured out. It's about sitting in the tension of not knowing, doing the work anyway, and finding some balance between who you are and who you're trying to become. The Stupid Gap is the space between who you are and who you need to become in order to build a life that you don't want to escape. Watch the full conversation with Jack Lesser on YouTube. I offer personal skills and mindset coaching to help you connect to your purpose, build agency, and navigate your own stupid gap — book a vibe check at https://thatryangray.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatryangray/

    18 min

  4. Jun 22

    Breathwork Broke Him Open: Burnout, Focus, and Letting Go | Jack Lesser

    Breathwork pulled Jack Lesser out of burnout and into a life he barely recognized — and this conversation is the whole arc of how it happened. Jack walked away from a "golden handcuffs" corporate job, got dragged to the floor by his first breathwork session, and went to a 5-day retreat in Costa Rica that took the person he used to be apart and rebuilt him. We get into identity change and the fear-based decisions that kept him stuck, what a real breathwork experience actually feels like, why focus is the superpower of 2026, proof of work as a way to live, and the strange moment he realized the intention he'd written for himself was almost word-for-word this show's tagline. The Stupid Gap is a podcast about identity change — the space between who you are and who you need to become to build a life you don't want to escape. Did you know I'm a personal skills & mindset coach? If you want to know more check out my personal website below. 🌐 thatryangray.com 🔗 Get in touch with Jack: https://jacklesser.me/

    1h 42m

  5. Jun 16

    How to Build Real Agency in Your Life | Solo Episode

    How do you build real agency in your life? This is what Marcus Fein's story taught me about courage, fear, and starting over. This is a solo reflection on what stuck with me after sitting down with Marcus Fein — a man who spent 22 years in addiction and found the courage to start over. His story isn't the subject here (that's the full episode, linked below); it's the mirror that made me look hard at where I'm acting with courage and where I'm hiding from it. I get into why agency isn't something you're handed — it's something you build, one act of courage at a time. I unpack how courage is a skill rather than a trait, why awareness (journaling, meditation, self-inquiry) is what lets you catch your own growth and turn it into fuel, and the harder question underneath all of it: where am I living in alignment, and where am I still numbing, avoiding, and running from my own life. If you've ever wanted more agency over your life but didn't know where it actually starts, this one's for you. The Stupid Gap is a show about identity change — who we become, and how we change, in order to build a life we don't want to escape. ▶ Watch the full conversation with Marcus Fein: HERE 🔗 Work with me — book a vibe check: https://thatryangray.com 📲 Follow on socials: @ThatRyanGray If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, the SAMHSA National Helpline is free, confidential, and available 24/7: 1-800-662-4357.

    10 min

  6. Jun 10

    Life After Sobriety: Relearning Everything at 40 | Marcus Fein

    Life after sobriety means relearning everything — what you like, how to connect, who you actually are. Marcus Fein got sober in his late 30s after 22 years of drinking and using, and discovered that quitting was only step one. In this conversation, he shares how childhood trauma he didn't remember until age 30 shaped two decades of addiction, what finally made him ask for help, and what rebuilding your identity after sobriety actually looks like day to day. Now an actor in Austin, Marcus explains how acting, meditation, and daily structure became his tools for starting over — and why, at 40, he feels like a kid seeing the world for the first time. The Stupid Gap is the space between who you are, and who you need to become, in order to build a life that you don't want to escape. New episodes weekly at thatryangray.com. Follow on all socials: @ThatRyanGray If you're struggling with substance use, the SAMHSA National Helpline is 1-800-662-4357 (free, confidential, 24/7).

    1h 38m

  7. Jun 5

    What a HYROX Pro Athlete Taught Me About Relationships, Pain, and Quitting Excuses

    I sat down with HYROX Pro Robin Perségol. This solo episode is me unpacking three things that hit hardest — about relationships, athletic standards, and what happens when you stop running from your pain. Robin is someone who performs at an elite level across multiple arenas — pro sports, business, and a strong committed relationship. The throughline isn't talent. It's the conscious choices he's made about who he surrounds himself with and how he deals with what's broken inside him. In this episode, I share what that conversation stirred up for me — personally, honestly, and without the polish. In This Episode: Why your choice of partner is the single most important decision you'll ever makeMy own path through avoiding commitment, exploring ENM/polyamory, and finding clarityWhat Robin's level of athletic discipline exposed about my own excusesTurning pain into fuel — Robin's story about his father, and mine about abuse and abandonmentThe cost of numbing yourself — and what happens when you stopWhy "one percent better" is the goal, and why grace matters when you fall short 🎧 Full Robin Perségol episode: https://youtu.be/wV8qxj-2CLw?si=Y4aOTSQCQwXcU_iB 🌐 Personal Skills & Lifestyle Coaching with Ryan: thatryangray.com 00:00 Why I'm Making This Episode 01:00 Robin's Relationship: The Real Cheat Code 03:00 The #1 Life Decision Most People Get Wrong 05:00 My History With Relationships (ENM, Polyamory, Fear of Marriage) 08:30 Learning to Move Slower in Love 11:00 What Robin's Athletic Level Did to My Excuses 14:00 Stop Letting Tiredness Win 16:00 Turn Your Pain Into Fuel 19:00 Robin's Vulnerability: Father's Neglect, Insecurity, Growth 22:00 My Own Story: Abuse, Abandonment, Numbing 26:00 Stepping Into the Light 29:00 Why I Started This Show 31:00 Subscribe & Links

    19 min

  8. Jun 2

    Pro HYROX Athlete Robin Perségol | You Are What You Think About — Rebuilding Identity and Purpose

    Robin Perségol thought he was one of the good ones. A failed marriage forced him to look in the mirror and shook him to his core. This conversation goes well beyond sport. Robin is a HYROX pro athlete with multiple Sub-60 finishes and a top-20 finish at the Pro World Championships. But that's not what this episode is about. We dig into what happens when the sport ends and your identity goes with it, what it looks like to use fitness as a crutch instead of a cure, and what it actually takes to become someone you respect. In This Episode: Losing your identity when rugby ended — and the years of drift that followedUsing CrossFit to numb instead of healThe divorce that forced him to look in the mirrorWhy your romantic relationship is the most important arenaGoing one layer deeper — understanding why you react the way you doWhere "I'm not enough" really comes fromHow to create space in high-emotion moments instead of reactingAdvice for anyone who feels completely lost right now Find Robin: 📸 Instagram: @RobinPersegol 🏢 RPG Design — Gym Design & Architectural Consulting 👉 https://www.rpgdesign.co/ Books Mentioned: 📖 Clarity and Connection — Yung Pueblo 📖 Before and Laughter — Jimmy Carr

    1h 33m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
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About

The Stupid Gap is the space between who you are and who you need to become in order to build a life that you don't want to escape. I've dedicated my life to the endless pursuit of personal growth, which means, I LIVE in that gap! The guests on this show have all undergone some sort of personal transformation and explored their own version of the stupid gap. I hope this show finds you in whatever stupid gap you're facing in life, and that your journey through it is made easier.

Information

  • Creator
    Ryan Gray
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Ryan Gray