Between Living & Dreaming Podcast

Kimmy Wu
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Exploring the liminal space between where we are and who we’re becoming—through stories of connection, healing, and becoming whole. kimmywu.substack.com

  1. Mar 22

    "You Met Me At A Very Chinese Time": On Fantasy, Inheritance, and the Girl Who Called Ube "Oob"

    A white girl on my feed called ube "oob." Confidently. With the energy of someone who had just discovered something. I felt offense. Fascination. And then — uncomfortably — pity. In this episode, I read my essay "You Met Me At A Very Chinese Time": On Fantasy, Inheritance, and the Girl Who Called It "Oob" — a meditation on the "very Chinese time of my life" trend, what it has in common with 17th century European chinoiserie, and what it means to watch your inheritance become someone else's aesthetic. This isn't really about cultural appropriation. It's about something quieter and older — the way fantasies require the people behind them to stay unavailable. And what that costs the people who were never just an aesthetic to begin with. It's also where I coin a new term: fracture recognition. Because solidarity has become its own kind of surface. And what actually holds us might be something more honest than that. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    19 min

  2. Mar 6

    Between Fantasy & Meaning (Pt. 2): What Heated Rivalry Reveals About Desire

    At a Galentine's Day gathering, my friends put on Heated Rivalry. Within minutes, the room shifted. They were flushed, electric, completely locked in. I was interested. But not in the same way. In this episode, Kimmy explores what the massive female response to Heated Rivalry reveals—not just about the show, but about how women experience desire. Why did millions of straight women lose it over two fictional hockey players? And what does it mean when you don't? This isn't about whether the show turns you on. It's about whether you've ever been asked—or asked yourself—what conditions your desire actually needs in order to show up. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    13 min

  3. Feb 11

    What We Mean When We Say “Bare Minimum”

    “I’m just looking for the bare minimum.” It sounds reasonable. Grounded. Self-respecting. But what does that phrase actually mean? In this episode, I unpack why “bare minimum” has become modern dating shorthand—and why it might not be as neutral as it sounds. We’ll explore how the phrase can soothe shame, signal standards, or quietly turn hurt into moral certainty. Is it clarity? Protection? Or something that replaces discernment altogether? This isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about understanding what you’re really naming—and what kind of relational space that language creates. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    13 min

  4. Jan 11

    Between Ambivalence & Certainty

    In this episode, Kimmy Wu reads Between Ambivalence & Certainty, a reflective essay from Between Living & Dreaming. Inspired by a breakup scene in Materialists, this piece explores the quiet devastation of relational moments where no one is wrong—and something still ends. It’s an inquiry into ambivalence, capacity, and the grief that emerges when honesty becomes a verdict rather than an opening. This episode reflects on: - what it means to name a boundary without assigning blame - the difference between endurance and staying in dialogue - why compatibility is often treated as a conclusion instead of a process - the subtle losses that can accompany even “reasonable” choices This is not a film review. It’s a meditation on unfinished love, relational imagination, and the cultural impatience we have with uncertainty. If this piece resonates, you can find more writing and audio essays on Substack at Between Living & Dreaming, and follow the podcast wherever you listen. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    11 min

  5. 12/10/2025

    Between What Was & What Still Remains

    In this episode/essay, Kimmy reflects on a moment at a friend’s wedding that surfaced a familiar but rarely named ache: the realization that some gatherings can never be recreated, even with the same people, in another beautiful place. Through the lens of adulthood, friendship, and community, she explores how closeness shifts as lives expand across cities, marriages, children, and changing seasons. What once arrived effortlessly now asks for intention. What once felt abundant now requires care. This piece is a meditation on the bittersweetness of shared experiences, the grief of evolving friendships, and the quiet, ongoing work of staying connected. It’s an offering for anyone learning how to love their people across distance, time, and change—and a reminder that closeness doesn’t disappear. It evolves. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    7 min

  6. 10/30/2025

    The Illusion of Harmlessness: Rethinking What It Means to Be "Nice"

    What happens when “being nice” becomes a way of avoiding honesty? In this episode of Between Living & Dreaming, Kimmy reflects on a viral dating-show moment to explore the illusion of harmlessness—when good intentions are used to sidestep discomfort, accountability, and truth. What looks like care can quietly become control, leaving one person holding the emotional weight alone. This episode is not a condemnation of men or masculinity. It’s an invitation—for men, and for all of us—to examine the invisible scripts that shape how we handle discomfort, power, and responsibility in relationships. Together, we explore why avoidance is often mistaken for kindness, how patriarchy distorts our relationship to guilt and repair, and why intimacy isn’t built on being harmless—but on being honest. The episode closes with reflection prompts for anyone learning to navigate accountability without shame, and connection without erasing themselves. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    10 min
  7. Love Without Suffering: A Rebellion Against the Endurance Economy

    10/18/2025

    Love Without Suffering: A Rebellion Against the Endurance Economy

    “I used to think that if it didn’t hurt, it wasn’t love.” In this episode of Between Living & Dreaming, Kimmy explores what she calls the Endurance Economy—a cultural logic that teaches us to equate love with suffering, loyalty with self-erasure, and worth with how much pain we can tolerate. Drawing from a therapy session and lived observation, this episode gently but firmly challenges the belief that love must hurt to be real. It unpacks the difference between endurance and resilience, examines how suffering is unevenly distributed along lines of power, and asks what it would mean to practice a more just, accountable, and easeful kind of love. This is an invitation to question the stories that taught us to survive love instead of rest in it—and to imagine relationships rooted not in sacrifice, but in mutual care, honesty, and repair. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    9 min

  8. 10/08/2025

    The Lexicon of Belonging

    We become fluent in the languages our culture rewards—efficiency, achievement, independence. But few of us are ever taught the language of belonging. In this episode, Kimmy reflects on the quiet paradox of modern relational life: we have endless ways to name our personalities, attachment styles, and inner wounds—yet so little language for the roles we play in holding our relationships and communities together. Building from her earlier essay, The Invisible Labor That Holds Us Together, this piece asks a deceptively simple question: What happens when the relational roles we inhabit remain unnamed? And who benefits when the labor of care, attunement, and emotional stewardship stays invisible? Drawing from therapeutic practice, linguistic theory, and cultural critique, this episode introduces the idea of relational granularity—the capacity to name not just how we feel, but how we show up for one another. It explores how language shapes value, how invisibility enables extraction, and why naming care is a necessary step toward dignity, redistribution, and collective repair. This is also a window into the deeper vision behind Thirdspace: the creation of a shared lexicon of belonging—not to categorize or diagnose, but to make the unseen seen, and to give language to forms of care that have long gone unrecognized. Belonging, this episode reminds us, isn’t a destination. It’s an ongoing conversation—one that requires shared words, mutual recognition, and the courage to name what we’ve been carrying. Get full access to Between Living & Dreaming at kimmywu.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min
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Exploring the liminal space between where we are and who we’re becoming—through stories of connection, healing, and becoming whole. kimmywu.substack.com

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