Heart Work After Betrayal | Infidelity, Marriage, Forgiveness, Loneliness, Emotional Connection

Julia Carlton - Relationship Recovery Coach
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Heart Work After Betrayal - Helping women heal their marriages after infidelity  Blindsided by betrayal? Struggling to trust him — or even yourself — again? Wondering where God is as you long for your marriage to be healed? Whether the betrayal happened days ago or years ago, whether the pain is raw or quietly unresolved, whether you’re torn between staying and leaving or holding onto hope for reconciliation while unsure how healing is supposed to happen — you are not alone. I’m Julia Carlton — a relationship recovery coach, wife of 24 years, homeschooling mom of three, and a woman who has walked through betrayal and found healing on the other side. When I discovered my husband’s infidelity seven years into our marriage — and learned I was pregnant just one week later — my world shattered. I didn’t know who to trust, or who I was anymore. The long road that followed rebuilt not only my marriage, but my peace, my voice, and my identity in Christ. This podcast exists because healing a marriage after betrayal requires more than survival — it requires deep, honest heart work. And because no one should have to carry that work alone. Each weekly episode offers: Biblically rooted truth for women seeking to heal their marriages after infidelity Simple, sustainable coaching tools for long-term recovery and reconciliation Support for navigating betrayal trauma, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts Guidance to rebuild emotional safety, trust, and connection over time Encouragement to recognize how God is present and at work, even in the hardest places Healing a marriage does not mean rushing forgiveness, minimizing betrayal, or carrying responsibility that isn’t yours. It means doing the heart work — slowly, truthfully, and with hope. This podcast is a steady companion for that journey. You don’t have to have everything figured out. Healing is possible. Reconciliation is possible. And you don’t have to walk this road alone.

Episodes

  1. 17H AGO

    12 | Why The Question: “What Do You Want?” Is Actually the Key to Emotional (Re)Connection After Infidelity

    Trying to forgive after he cheated on you but still feel emotionally disconnected? Trying to keep it all together, but unsure what you actually want anymore? Feeling stuck or resigned in your marriage even though you chose to stay? After infidelity, most women focus on forgiveness, rebuilding trust, and holding the marriage together. But rarely do we stop to ask: What do I want? In this episode, I sit down with a licensed therapist to unpack the question that created a breakthrough in my own healing journey. When I was asked, “What do you want?” — I couldn’t answer. Not because I didn’t care. But because somewhere along the way, I had absorbed the belief that I didn’t get to choose always. It seemed to me a selfish and not enough of an urgent question to ask with all I had to do already.  In this conversation, we explore: Why asking “What do you want?” feels challenging after betrayal How broken trust impacts emotional connection in marriage How reclaiming your ability to choose is foundational to rebuilding trust If you’re navigating infidelity and want to rebuild trust while strengthening your own voice, this episode will challenge and steady you at the same time. Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    47 min

  2. 2D AGO

    11 | You Stayed After the Affair - Why Do You Still Feel Disconnected? 4 Steps to Reconnect With Your Needs

    You stayed after the affair… but still feel emotionally disconnected? Wonder why you’re “not over it” even though some time has passed since the infidelity? Feel unsettled in your marriage even when things look stable on the outside? In this episode, I’m sharing a simple but powerful Heart Check to help you reconnect with your emotional needs after infidelity so you can rebuild trust from the inside out. Whether the betrayal happened recently or years ago, many women who choose to stay still find themselves bracing, guarding, or feeling quietly disconnected. This episode walks you through a practical 4-step exercise rooted in self-awareness that helps you move from emotional reactivity to grounded clarity. You’ll learn: Why disconnection can linger long after an affair How survival patterns affect emotional connection in marriage The link between feelings and unmet needs One small step you can take this week to begin rebuilding emotional safety This is not about reopening old wounds. It’s about tending to the places that never fully closed — so reconciliation becomes possible without losing yourself in the process Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    12 min

  3. 6D AGO

    10 | After Infidelity in Marriage: How to Stop Living in Defeat and Reclaim Your Heart

    After infidelity in marriage, it’s not just trust that breaks — it’s your heart. Did you feel like your entire life collapsed in that single moment when the affair was out — and with it, your sense of who you are? After betrayal, have you found yourself quietly asking, “Was I not enough?” Does it feel like your emotions are running the show, and you don’t fully trust your own heart anymore? In this episode, we go deeper than communication strategies or surface-level forgiveness. We talk about what betrayal actually disrupts: the heart — the center of your will, identity, and direction. Drawing from Scripture and the work of Dallas Willard, you’ll learn: What the heart really is Why infidelity shakes your identity so deeply How shame quietly takes leadership And what it looks like to live from victory instead of defeat This is not about pretending the pain isn’t real. It’s about reclaiming your heart so betrayal doesn’t define your worth. If you are navigating infidelity in your marriage and struggling with loneliness, forgiveness, or emotional disconnection, this episode will help you begin reordering your heart around truth — so you can live led, not defeated, even in the middle of heartbreak Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    16 min

  4. FEB 9

    09 | After Infidelity and Betrayal, Where Is Your Heart? A Psalm-Based Heart Check for Healing

    After infidelity or betrayal, do you feel unsure where your heart even is anymore? Do you notice your week starting in survival mode before you’ve had a chance to breathe? Have you been told to “trust God” or “forgive,” but inside you feel guarded, tired, or disconnected? In this Monday Heart Check, we slow things down and focus on the heart as the center of trust, direction, and choice. Using a gentle practice from the Book of Psalms, this episode invites you to pause, settle your body, and notice where your heart truly is after betrayal or infidelity. This is not about making decisions, rebuilding trust, or forcing forgiveness. It’s about beginning the week grounded — allowing your heart to be honest in God’s presence as you continue healing. This Heart Check is for women navigating marriage after betrayal who want spiritual grounding without pressure, and a safe place to begin again. Resources and Links Mentioned: Psalm 62:5–8 AMP (read during the Heart Check) Episode 03 | Haunted by Nightmares or Intrusive Thoughts After Infidelity? A Heart Check for Betrayal Trauma Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    9 min

  5. FEB 5

    08| Afraid of Saying the Wrong Thing After Infidelity? How to Communicate Without Escalating Conflict or Abandoning Yourself

    Afraid that if you speak up after infidelity, the conversation will spiral? Do you hold things in because you don’t want to make things worse — but feel yourself slowly disappearing? Want to communicate honestly without escalating conflict or abandoning yourself in the process? In this Thursday Deep Dive, we explore how to communicate after infidelity in a way that honors your truth without escalating conflict or losing yourself. After an affair — and the lying or hiding that often comes with it — communication can feel unsafe. Your body may react before your words, leaving you stuck between saying too much or saying nothing at all. In this episode, I walk you through a clear, trauma-informed framework to help you communicate with wisdom and emotional safety — even when anxiety, fear, or anger are still present. We also talk about the difference between requests and demands, what real reassurance looks like after betrayal, and how to stay connected to yourself while speaking honestly. This episode is for Christian women who want to rebuild trust, communicate with clarity, and move forward without rushing their healing or silencing their needs. Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com Next Steps Step 1: Join a supportive community of Christian women healing after infidelity in my private telegram group Step 2: Sign up for the Heart Work Weekly Newsletter for encouragement  and practical tools Step 3: Get personalized support through 1:1 coaching to help you heal, rebuild emotional safety, and communicate with clarity - book a free call here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min

    17 min

  6. FEB 2

    07 | Afraid to Talk After Infidelity? A Heart Check Before You Say Anything

    Afraid to talk after infidelity because you’re worried you’ll say the wrong thing? Do you replay conversations in your head — wondering if speaking up will make things worse? Feel stuck between wanting connection and wanting to protect your heart? Welcome to Monday Heart Check Series – short, gentle practices to help you feel steadier at the start of each week In this episode, I’m sharing a gentle Monday Heart Check to help you pause before speaking after infidelity, so you can approach hard conversations with more emotional safety, clarity, and self-trust. After betrayal, communication can feel risky — especially when your body reacts faster than your words. This short, grounding practice will help you check what you’re really needing in the moment, assess your emotional capacity, and give yourself permission to slow down instead of forcing a conversation before you’re ready. This episode is for Christian women who want to honor their healing, stay connected to God, and communicate with wisdom — without abandoning themselves or escalating conflict.   Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    7 min

  7. JAN 29

    06 | Why Your Emotions Feel Out of Control After Infidelity and How to Respond

    Do your emotions feel out of control after infidelity or betrayal? Are you still experiencing emotional triggers, anxiety, or intense reactions even though you’re trying to heal? Do you worry that if you can’t regulate your emotions, you’ll never trust again or know whether to heal your marriage or move on? In this Thursday Deep Dive, we’re talking about emotional wholeness after betrayal and why your emotions feel so intense after infidelity. If you’re struggling with emotional triggers, trauma responses, lack of trust, or feeling disconnected from yourself, this episode will help you understand what’s really happening inside your heart. You’ll learn why emotional chaos after betrayal is not a failure, how infidelity disrupts emotional safety and inner leadership, and what it looks like to begin healing emotionally without rushing forgiveness, trust, or decisions about your marriage. This episode is for Christian women navigating betrayal, infidelity, and emotional healing who want clarity, emotional safety, and a healthier relationship with their emotions. Follow the podcast so you don’t miss Monday Heart Checks and Thursday Deep Dives on betrayal recovery and emotional healing Join the email list for ongoing support for healing after infidelity  Related Episode: When Your Emotions Feel Out of Control After Betrayal (Monday Heart Check) Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    13 min

  8. JAN 26

    05 | Feel Like Your Emotions Are Controlling You After Betrayal? Stop Judging Your Feelings And Start Listening Instead

    Feel like your emotions come out of nowhere lately? Wonder why you can feel “fine” one moment and completely undone the next? Ever tell yourself, “I should be past this by now,” but your heart doesn’t agree? In this Monday Heart Check, I’m sharing a gentle reframe for emotions — especially when they feel overwhelming or out of control after betrayal. We’ll talk about what emotions actually are, why they get so intense after trust is broken, and one small practice to help you relate to them without shame or pressure. This episode is for you if you want emotional wholeness without rushing your healing or forcing yourself to “be okay." Contact → julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com → Book a Free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Session If you’re navigating infidelity and feel disconnected, reactive, or stuck, I’m opening five free 1:1 HEART Reset Coaching Sessions. In this focused conversation, we’ll clarify what’s keeping you unsettled and map your next wise step toward rebuilding trust. If you’re ready for structured support, book your session here: https://calendly.com/julia-carlton-starke-intelligenz/45min Spots are limited to five.

    8 min

  9. JAN 22

    04 | How Betrayal Trauma Shows Up — and How to Respond with Wisdom

    Do you dread going to sleep because that’s when your mind starts replaying details and imagining worst-case scenarios? Are you waking up from nightmares feeling flooded, panicky, or like you’re right back at day one? Do intrusive thoughts hit you out of nowhere—at night or in the middle of the day—and you don’t know how to calm down? Have you wondered, “Why is this still happening to me?” or “What’s wrong with me?” In this Thursday Deep Dive, we will go over what’s happening in your mind and body after betrayal trauma—why intrusive thoughts, mental replay, and nightmares are so common, and why it doesn’t mean you’re weak or “failing at healing.” You’ll learn why emotional safety is the foundation for rebuilding trust, and how trying to “think your way out” of a spiral often makes it worse. We will learn why the Psalms are uniquely powerful in betrayal recovery—because they give you honest language for fear, grief, anger, and confusion while still guiding your heart back to steady truth about God’s presence and character. You’ll get a simple encouraging nudge to read a Psalm and find an “anchor phrase or verse” you can return to when your mind is loud and your heart is aching. This episode is for you if you’re a Christian woman healing after infidelity/betrayal, navigating betrayal trauma symptoms like nightmares, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and emotional flooding—and you want a gentle, faith-rooted way to feel steadier without minimizing the pain or rushing forgiveness. By the end, you can expect to walk away with clarity, validation, and a next step: a calm-down plan you can actually use in real life (even at 2 a.m.), plus a steady spiritual practice that supports emotional safety and long-term healing. Start here in Scripture: Psalm 46, Psalm 34, Psalm 27, Psalm 56 (choose one and keep it close) Message me your chosen anchor phrase (the line that stood out to you today): julia.carlton@starke-intelligenz.com If this episode helped you feel less alone, share it with a friend who’s dreading the nights. Follow the podcast so you don’t miss Monday Heart Checks and Thursday Deep Dives.

    17 min

  10. JAN 19

    03 | Haunted by Nightmares or Intrusive Thoughts After Infidelity? A Heart Check for Betrayal Trauma

    If betrayal trauma has you waking up from nightmares, replaying details, imagining worst-case scenarios, or spiraling with intrusive thoughts—this mini episode is for you. In today’s Monday Heart Check, you’ll get one gentle, practical practice you can try right away to help calm your mind and steady your soul. In this episode, Julia Carlton, a relationship recovery coach, shares why nights (and random triggers during the day) can feel so intense after infidelity, and guides you through a simple “go-to” practice for when your mind won’t stop: the Psalms Anchor. You’ll walk away with a clear plan for what to do when you feel flooded—without forcing yourself to “be fine.” You’ll learn a 2–5 minute practice you can use in the middle of the night (or any time you get triggered), and how to choose one steady phrase of truth to return to when your thoughts are loud and your heart is aching. If you’re trying to heal after infidelity, it’s hard to rebuild trust—or even think clearly—when your body is stuck in fear and your mind won’t rest. This Heart Check gives you a gentle starting point: a steady place to go when you don’t know what to do next. Here’s the quick recap of the Psalms Anchor: choose one Psalm (Psalm 46, 34, or 27 are great starting points), read it out loud slowly, notice one phrase that feels steady, write it down, and repeat it when the spiral hits. If a full Psalm feels like too much, one verse—or even one line—is enough. On Thursday, we’ll go deeper into why the Psalms are powerful in pain, what to do when you feel angry, numb, or confused, and how this supports emotional safety and rebuilding trust over time. If you try this Heart Check, send me the phrase you chose (DM or email—whatever is easiest). I’d love to know what anchored you this week. And if this episode helped, share it with a friend who needs something steady today. If you want to reach out to me directly to get on the list of women who are interested in joining a Facebook group in the future or have a question you want me to answer on the podcast, please email me here: Julia.Carlton@Starke-Intelligenz.com Let’s do the HEART WORK to find Hope and Heal Together!

    6 min

  11. JAN 11

    02 | Three Ways To Rebuild Trust After Betrayal

    In this episode, we dive into the first steps of rebuilding trust after betrayal, the steps most people overlook because they challenge us in our deepest core and they require more honesty than we are always comfortable with. I share the moment I discovered my husband’s affair and the unraveling that followed and the choices I made to reveal what rebuilding actually begins with. We break the process down into three foundational shifts: Accepting that trust takes time and that it requires partnership, patience, and a willingness to risk again. Moving your deepest trust from a person to God so your emotional stability no longer rises and falls with someone else’s choices. Learning to trust yourself again by reconnecting with your intuition, your feelings, and what you really need. Whether you’re in the aftermath of infidelity, wrestling with broken trust in another area, or searching for a way forward when it comes to rebuilding trust in your marriage, this episode offers a grounded, honest starting place. It won’t give you quick fixes, but it will give you clarity and a path you can actually walk. If you want to reach out to me directly to get on the list of women who are interested in joining a Facebook group in the future or have a question you want me to answer on the podcast, please email me here: Julia.Carlton@Starke-Intelligenz.com Let’s do the HEART WORK to find Hope and Heal Together!

    18 min

  12. JAN 10

    01 | Welcome and Intro to Heart Work After Betrayal

    Are you close to giving up hope as you navigate the aftermath of betrayal, infidelity and/or broken trust in your marriage? Do you feel alone or confused as you try to sort out what to believe and who to believe anymore?  Are you doubting the goodness of God or loosing faith because the pain of betrayal is too much? Welcome to the very first episode of Heart Work After Betrayal! Today my dear friend, Nicole, sat down with me to discuss what HEART WORK is all about and why I feel this podcast will bring you hope and healing. My hope for you today is that you can breathe in a little more deeply and remember that you are not alone in your pain as you listen to someone else who has walked this road as well. I have been there where you are AND I have seen the redemption on the other side.  If you want to reach out to me directly to get on the list of women who are interested in joining a Facebook group in the future or have a question you want me to answer on the podcast, please email me here: Julia.Carlton@Starke-Intelligenz.com Let’s do the HEART WORK to find Hope and Heal Together!

    23 min
  • 12 Episodes

5
out of 5
20 Ratings

About

Heart Work After Betrayal - Helping women heal their marriages after infidelity  Blindsided by betrayal? Struggling to trust him — or even yourself — again? Wondering where God is as you long for your marriage to be healed? Whether the betrayal happened days ago or years ago, whether the pain is raw or quietly unresolved, whether you’re torn between staying and leaving or holding onto hope for reconciliation while unsure how healing is supposed to happen — you are not alone. I’m Julia Carlton — a relationship recovery coach, wife of 24 years, homeschooling mom of three, and a woman who has walked through betrayal and found healing on the other side. When I discovered my husband’s infidelity seven years into our marriage — and learned I was pregnant just one week later — my world shattered. I didn’t know who to trust, or who I was anymore. The long road that followed rebuilt not only my marriage, but my peace, my voice, and my identity in Christ. This podcast exists because healing a marriage after betrayal requires more than survival — it requires deep, honest heart work. And because no one should have to carry that work alone. Each weekly episode offers: Biblically rooted truth for women seeking to heal their marriages after infidelity Simple, sustainable coaching tools for long-term recovery and reconciliation Support for navigating betrayal trauma, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts Guidance to rebuild emotional safety, trust, and connection over time Encouragement to recognize how God is present and at work, even in the hardest places Healing a marriage does not mean rushing forgiveness, minimizing betrayal, or carrying responsibility that isn’t yours. It means doing the heart work — slowly, truthfully, and with hope. This podcast is a steady companion for that journey. You don’t have to have everything figured out. Healing is possible. Reconciliation is possible. And you don’t have to walk this road alone.

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