Self-abandonment rarely feels dramatic. It looks like calling something fine, long after part of you already knows it isn't. Have you ever stayed somewhere — a job, a relationship, a version of yourself — long after you first felt it wasn't right? You knew something wasn't working, yet naming it out loud felt harder than simply enduring it. In this episode of The Stone in My Shoe, Debbie Thompson sits down with Amala, a former medical scientist and humanitarian worker who spent over a decade with organisations including the United Nations, the World Health Organization and Doctors Without Borders, working across more than ten countries, many of them active conflict zones. After a career spent serving others in some of the world's most demanding environments, Amala found herself asking a quieter question: when do I get to matter too? That question became the beginning of a long, unglamorous unlearning. That same pattern, she explains, ran through much more of her life than one job. From the age of seventeen, she lived inside a marriage that shaped nearly every choice she made — what to study, where to live, who to become — until, thirteen years later, one small decision to do something for herself became the first crack in a habit she hadn't fully recognised. Amala also opens up about surviving a hotel bombing in Jakarta, and the fear she didn't let herself feel until she had safely landed on the ground. She talks candidly about the physical and emotional toll of years spent in conflict-zone humanitarian work, and the eight months it took her to find her feet again afterwards. This is an honest, unhurried conversation about identity, self-worth, service, and learning to include yourself in your own circle of care — not as an act of selfishness, but as the missing piece that makes everything else sustainable. In this episode you'll hear: Why Amala kept telling herself a job was fine long after she felt it wasn't What thirteen years inside someone else's rules taught her about trusting her own voice Surviving a hotel bombing in Jakarta, and the fear she didn't let herself feel until she was safe What genuine humanitarian work in active conflict zones actually costs, physically and emotionally The eight months it took her to find her feet again afterwards Why she believes real alignment, once it arrives, never asks you to look back The sanctuary she's building for women in France, and what it means to finally include yourself Why noticing is always the first step, long before you know what to do next What “walking the way of love” means to her now, after everything she's carried Whether you're navigating a job that no longer fits, a relationship you've quietly outgrown, or simply wondering why you keep calling things fine that aren't, Amala's story offers an honest, unhurried way of understanding what might be happening beneath the surface. Sometimes the hardest part isn't leaving. It's admitting you already knew. About Amala Amala is a former medical scientist and humanitarian worker who spent over a decade with organisations including the United Nations, the World Health Organization, and Doctors Without Borders, working across more than ten countries, many of them active conflict zones. She is now building Maison de Rêve, a sanctuary and pilgrimage experience for women in France centred on rest, reflection, and reconnecting with one's own voice. Connect with Amala 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amalasoulsanctuary/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@avanyathizephyra Connect with Debbie Thompson 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thestoneinmyshoe/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thestoneinmyshoe/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbie-thompson-b3b1b715/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@stoneinmyshoepodcast 🌐 Website: https://debbiethompson.lovable.app/
