Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast

Beyond Mommy Dearest
  • 5.0 (5)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Beyond Mommy Dearest is a podcast for adult daughters navigating the complicated, often painful reality of difficult, emotionally immature, or narcissistic mothers. Hosted by a trauma-informed leadership coach, this show explores the long-term impact of mother-daughter wounds, boundary setting, grief, identity, and healing beyond blame. Through honest conversations, education, and lived experience, Beyond Mommy Dearest helps listeners reconnect with themselves, trust their instincts, and move forward with clarity, compassion, and strength.

  1. 1d ago

    Beyond Mommy Dearest - The Family Scapegoat: Narcissistic Parents, Childhood Trauma & Breaking the Cycle with God’s Favorite Problem

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! Buy me coffee :) - https://buymeacoffee.com/beyondmommydearest What happens when the child blamed for everything grows up and realizes they were never actually the problem? In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, I sit down with therapist Amy, better known online as God’s Favorite Problem, for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about family scapegoating, narcissistic parents, generational trauma, divorce, boundaries, and learning to trust yourself again. Amy explains why dysfunctional family systems often need a scapegoat and why the role frequently falls on the sensitive, deeply feeling child who notices what everyone else has learned to ignore. We talk about what happens when that child grows up. People-pleasing. Overexplaining. Constantly second-guessing yourself. Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Becoming a high achiever while secretly believing you're never doing enough. Replaying conversations in your head. Struggling to say no. And outsourcing your self-worth to parents, partners, bosses, and anyone else who might finally tell you that you're good enough. We also get personal about divorce and co-parenting, how unresolved trauma can repeat itself across generations, and why breaking the cycle sometimes requires looking honestly at our own behavior. Amy shares one of my favorite lines from the entire conversation: “Children explain. Adults inform.” If you grew up believing you had to justify every decision, prove your feelings, keep everyone happy, or explain yourself until someone finally understood you, this conversation is for you. We also discuss why setting a boundary can feel terrifying when you were raised without permission to have one, why estrangement should be an individual decision rather than something automatically prescribed, and how healing ultimately comes back to rebuilding self-trust. Because being the family scapegoat may have been the role they assigned you. It doesn't have to be the role you keep. In this episode: • What a family scapegoat really is • Scapegoat vs. “black sheep” • Narcissistic family systems • Generational trauma and cycle breaking • People-pleasing and self-abandonment • Why survivors overexplain and justify themselves • Rumination and replaying conversations • High achievement and outsourced self-worth • Narcissistic relationships and repeating childhood patterns • Divorce, co-parenting, and protecting children from adult conflict • Boundaries and the discomfort of saying no • Estrangement, distance, and self-protection • Rebuilding self-trust after emotional abuse • Amy's Scapegoat Reset work • Why you absolutely can get out of the scapegoat role And perhaps the most important reminder from Amy: You can go through hell, come out the other side, and discover that life can be better than you ever thought it could be. Reasources in the podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3YdldNXZnQ - Dr. Jennifer Jill Harmanhttps://www.joshiattorneys.com - Ashish Joshi, Parental Alienation / Family Law / International Child Kidnapping / Child Abusehttps://link.amazon/B03VJbpwW - Boundary boss   Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearesthttps://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearest Connect with God’s Favorite Probelm, Amy Watkins  Performing Normal: Find Your Voice, Discover Yourself, Reclaim Your Life - https://link.amazon/B0hWA6xauInstagram - Amy Watkins (@gods.favorite.problem)Instagram · gods.favorite.problem102.2K+ followersFacebook - Gods.favorite.problemFacebook · Gods.favorite.problem26K+ followersamywatkinsstudio.com Support the show

    Beyond Mommy Dearest - The Family Scapegoat: Narcissistic Parents, Childhood Trauma & Breaking the Cycle with God’s Favorite Problem

  2. Sep 25

    Breaking the Control: Nomz Bistline on FLDS, The False Prophet & Reclaiming Her Life

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses religious trauma, coercive control, sexual and physical abuse, child exploitation, threats of violence and murder, incarceration, suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts, and death. What does it take to survive when fear, religion, manipulation, and coercive control have shaped nearly everything you believe? In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, I sit down with Nomz Bistline, featured in The False Prophet, for a raw conversation about growing up in the FLDS, becoming entangled in Samuel Bateman’s group, surviving extreme coercive control, spending 21 months in prison, and ultimately beginning to find herself again. Nomz takes us behind what viewers saw in the documentary and explains how years of religious conditioning made threats of punishment and damnation terrifyingly real. She shares how manipulation, fear, intermittent kindness, threats against people she loved, and relentless pressure eventually caused her to become numb and disconnect from her own intuition. We also talk about something far more complicated: how someone can be both accountable for their actions and a victim of profound coercive control. Nomz opens up about incarceration, surviving a suicide attempt, months of suicidal depression, and finally receiving therapy. Surprisingly, prison also gave her something she had rarely experienced before: the freedom to think and feel without being punished for it. During her darkest days, she began writing down ten things she was grateful for. Sometimes the glimmer was simply a bar of soap, clean clothes, a mattress, or a meal. Eventually, she became grateful for something much bigger: awareness. We talk about rebuilding self-trust, grieving family members who remain in the FLDS, learning what healthy love feels like, and why people on the outside often misunderstand survivors who stay, comply with, defend, or return to their abusers. Nomz describes survivors as clay models. Abuse, fear, manipulation, and conditioning can mold someone into what an abuser needs them to become. But underneath those layers is a foundation that was there all along. The real person is still there. And sometimes healing is the process of breaking away that clay, piece by piece, until you finally recognize yourself again. Because Nomz found those tiny glimmers and kept going, she is here. And now we all get to experience her glimmers, too. ❤️ If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 for immediate support. Support the show

    Breaking the Control: Nomz Bistline on FLDS, The False Prophet & Reclaiming Her Life

  3. Sep 19 ·  Bonus

    Narcissistic Also happens Against Men: False Allegations, Custody Battles, and Fatherhood

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! In this raw, honest, and occasionally hilarious conversation, Noelani sits down with Mac and Phil from the Dimming the Gaslight podcast. They share how their friendship began with one unanswered email, a five-hour phone call, and a shared determination to give survivors a place to tell their stories. Mac describes the moment he began recognizing patterns of gaslighting, trauma bonding, love bombing, manipulation, and coercive control within his marriage. He also discusses being separated from his children, navigating restraining orders and Child Protective Services investigations, and fighting to remain an active, loving father. Phil shares why he originally created Surviving the Covert Narcissist and how his unfiltered storytelling helped Mac feel understood during one of the most isolating periods of his life. Their connection eventually became Dimming the Gaslight, a podcast built around the truth that domestic abuse has no gender. Together, Noelani, Mac, and Phil explore: Why male survivors often struggle to find support that reflects their experiencesHow gaslighting can cause survivors to question their perceptions and identitiesThe emotional impact of being separated from your childrenFalse or unsubstantiated allegations in high-conflict custody casesWhy documentation and knowledge of local laws can be importantHow children can become caught between parents after separationThe stigma surrounding fathers who openly discuss abuseWhy being called a “Disney dad” may overlook the realities of limited parenting timeThe difference between an occasional fun parent and an intentional, present parentHow survivors can resist isolation by finding people who understand their experiencesWhy healing is not about revenge, but about reclaiming your identity and living fullyThe importance of loving your children more than you hate your former partnerAt its heart, this conversation is about survival, friendship, fatherhood, and refusing to let another person’s behavior determine who you become. Healing may begin with one person saying, “I believe you. You are not alone.”  Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearesthttps://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearestConnect with Dimming the Gaslight https://www.instagram.com/dimming_the_gaslight/https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552019714452https://dimmingthegaslight.com/Support the show

    Narcissistic Also happens Against Men: False Allegations, Custody Battles, and Fatherhood

  4. Sep 18

    Toxic Parents, Religious Trauma & No Contact: Breaking Narcissistic Family Cycles with Therapist Sandra Fraser Maurer

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! What happens when healing allows you to recognize that the relationships you once considered normal were actually harmful? In this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Noelani sits down with licensed professional clinical counselor Sandra Fraser Maurer to explore childhood trauma, narcissistic family systems, parent-child estrangement, religious trauma, perimenopause, intergenerational trauma, and the grief of going no contact with a parent who is still alive. Sandra shares how her earlier work as a birth doula and prenatal yoga teacher led her to become a therapist specializing in women’s health, reproductive and perinatal mental health, trauma, and mental health throughout the lifespan. She and Noelani discuss why pregnancy, parenthood, perimenopause, and other major developmental transitions can cause unresolved trauma to return to the surface. They also examine the connection between authoritarian parenting, high-demand religion, narcissistic family structures, and adult children’s decisions to establish boundaries or end contact. Sandra explains why a healthy relationship with a partner or therapist does not “cause” estrangement. Instead, experiencing safety, emotional regulation, and respectful boundaries can help someone finally recognize how painful or abusive another relationship has been. Together, Sandra and Noelani discuss: Why perimenopause can bring unresolved trauma back to the surfaceHow becoming a parent can change the way someone views their childhoodReligious trauma and the lasting effects of authoritarian parentingWhy accountability and genuine apologies matterPhysical punishment and the normalization of violence against childrenHow trauma is passed from one generation to anotherTransactional love, entitlement, and power within family relationshipsThe grief of losing a relationship with someone who is still aliveWhy adult children rarely choose no contact casuallyEnmeshment, individuation, and resistance to adult children’s independenceHow safe relationships can reveal previously normalized abuseThe similarities between controlling family systems and broader authoritarian systemsRacism, misogyny, xenophobia, and the ethical responsibilities of therapistsHow healing can help individuals and communities choose a different pathThis conversation is honest, fiery, compassionate, and ultimately hopeful. Healing does not require pretending the harm never happened. It requires telling the truth, developing healthier relationships, interrupting generational patterns, and deciding that trauma will no longer be passed through another person’s body. Books Mentioned My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem - https://link.amazon/B09b3MBgCHow to Lose Your Mother: A Daughter’s Memoir by Molly Jong-Fast - https://link.amazon/B02OtjdqEWell Trained Wife by Tia Levings- https://link.amazon/B04xWkpoXOf Woman Born by Adrienne Rich - https://link.amazon/B00UsRWx6Do the Work! An Antiracist Activity Book by W. Kamau Bell and Kate Schatz - https://link.amazon/B06Uqc8L9 Connect With Sandra Sandra Fraser Maurer, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor https://sandrafrasermaurer.comSandra Fraser MaurerFacebook · Sandra Fraser Maurer6.6K+ followersSandra Fraser Maurer (@mn_therapist)Instagram · mn_therapist30.7K+ followers Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest •https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/ •https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest •https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/ •https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearest https://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearest Support the show

    Toxic Parents, Religious Trauma & No Contact: Breaking Narcissistic Family Cycles with Therapist Sandra Fraser Maurer

  5. Sep 11

    It’s Them, Not You: Toxic Parents, Childhood Trauma, No Contact & Breaking the Cycle

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! Content Warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood abuse, domestic violence, addiction, suicide, family trauma, and estrangement. Please take care of yourself while listening. If you are in the U.S. and experiencing a mental health crisis or need immediate emotional support, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are outside the U.S., please contact your country’s local crisis line or emergency services for immediate support. What happens when you stop numbing the pain and finally have to face what was underneath it? In this powerful and candid conversation, Noelani sits down with Mr. Josh Connolly, author of It’s Them, Not You, to talk about childhood trauma, toxic family systems, addiction and recovery, parenting, emotional neglect, boundaries, masculinity, and what it really means to heal. He opens up about getting sober at 24 and discovering that alcohol wasn’t the problem he thought it was. Once the alcohol was gone, he was left face-to-face with the emotional pain he had spent years trying to escape. Together, they explore why families and society so often protect the person causing harm instead of the person experiencing it, and why speaking the truth can make you the scapegoat in a dysfunctional family system. They also dive into adult children going no contact, the difference between imperfect parenting and abuse, and why a parent’s willingness to listen, take accountability, and repair can completely change a relationship. Josh shares how childhood emotional neglect can show up later as hypervigilance, chronic people-pleasing, difficulty knowing what you actually want, and building your identity around what other people need from you. The conversation also challenges traditional ideas about masculinity. He explains why healing wasn’t about becoming a different kind of man. It was about becoming comfortable enough to finally be himself. They discuss: • Addiction, sobriety, and discovering the pain underneath the coping mechanism  • Childhood trauma and emotional neglect  • Toxic parents and dysfunctional family systems  • Why families protect abusers and scapegoat truth-tellers  • Narcissistic mothers and mother-daughter dynamics  • Adult children, estrangement, and going no contact  • Parenting, accountability, and the power of repair  • Hypervigilance and chronic people-pleasing  • Developing a healthy sense of self  • Boundaries and why toxic systems fight back when you change  • Men, vulnerability, emotional expression, and masculinity  • Raising children who are allowed to become themselves  • Why being yourself creates healthier relationships  • Taking responsibility for your healing without taking responsibility for what happened to you He leaves us with an important distinction: you can take responsibility for what you do moving forward without taking responsibility for what was done to you. His Book - https://amzn.to/3ULzMXa Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearesthttps://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearest Connect with Josh  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josh_ffw/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@josh_ffw Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joshffw YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JoshConnolly_FFW LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshconnolly/ X/Twitter: https://twitter.com/josh_ffw Website: https://www.joshconnolly.co.uk/ Support the show

    It’s Them, Not You: Toxic Parents, Childhood Trauma, No Contact & Breaking the Cycle

  6. Sep 4

    Childhood Trauma & the Nervous System: Why Anxiety May Be a Trauma Response | Traumality

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! What if anxiety, hypervigilance, shutdown, and other mental health struggles aren't simply about what is “wrong” with us, but about what happened to us? In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani speaks with filmmaker Ton Mazzone, creator of the documentary Traumality, about the connection between childhood trauma, the nervous system, mental health, relationships, and healing. Ton shares how his own struggles with anxiety and fight-or-flight responses led him on a four-year journey to create Traumality, interviewing 22 experts while exploring his own story along the way. Together, they discuss why trauma doesn't have to be one catastrophic event, how repeated childhood experiences can become stored in our nervous system, and why rupture and repair are so important in parenting.  They also explore narcissistic and emotionally immature parents, boundaries, no contact, and what happens when the apology or accountability we need never comes. Ton also shares his powerful concept of “agency over exposure,” why survivors never owe anyone their entire trauma story, and his TRAUMALITY method for sharing difficult experiences without sacrificing emotional safety. Most importantly, this conversation challenges us to stop asking “What's wrong with you?” and start asking “What happened to you?” 🎬 The Traumality trailer plays immediately after the introduction. 🎥 Stay through the end for Ton's viral A Day in the Life of Anxiety, the video that helped begin the journey that eventually led to Traumality. Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearesthttps://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearest Traumality https://traumality.com/ https://www.instagram.com/traumality/ https://www.instagram.com/tonmazzone/ - Ton, The filmmaker https://youtu.be/6PgrQgum9R8?si=CB0hW9XiK7kzFHyO - The Film that inspired it all Support the show

    Childhood Trauma & the Nervous System: Why Anxiety May Be a Trauma Response | Traumality

  7. Aug 28

    Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: EMDR, Complex Trauma and Reclaiming Your Life

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! Why do so many narcissistic abuse survivors remain trapped in self-doubt, shame and hypervigilance, even when they appear highly successful? In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani speaks with Barbara, a New Jersey therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse recovery and complex trauma. Barbara shares how her own experience with therapists who did not understand narcissistic abuse inspired her to pursue specialized training, including Dr. Ramani’s narcissistic abuse certification. Together, they explore why traditional talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy may not be enough for survivors whose trauma is stored in the nervous system. They also explain how treatments such as EMDR and clinical hypnosis can help survivors process painful experiences, challenge deeply rooted beliefs and begin rebuilding a sense of safety. This conversation also examines why telling a survivor to “let it go” can feel like another form of gaslighting. Healing does not require forgiving an abuser, receiving an apology or waiting for justice that may never come. It means redirecting your energy toward your own peace, identity and future. In this episode, we discuss: • Why high-functioning survivors still struggle with shame and self-doubt  • How narcissistic abuse affects the nervous system  • Why traditional talk therapy may not address complex trauma  • How EMDR helps the brain process traumatic memories  • What clinical hypnosis looks like in a therapeutic setting  • Why survivors do not have to forgive their abusers to heal  • The difference between guilt, shame and accountability  • How cognitive dissonance keeps survivors attached to toxic relationships  • Why peace may initially feel boring after living in constant chaos  • Reparenting yourself with compassion and gentleness  • Reclaiming your identity after narcissistic abuse  • How to stop waiting for an apology, approval or justice If you are at the beginning of your healing journey, please remember: You are not broken. You are resilient, you are not alone and you deserve a life built around safety, peace and authenticity. Barbara currently practices in New Jersey. Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, diagnosis or professional mental health treatment. Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/https://www.youtube.com/@BeyondMommyDearesthttps://substack.com/@beyondmommydearesthttps://www.threads.com/@beyondmommydearest Connect with Barbara https://newleafpsychotherapyllc.comhttps://www.instagram.com/newleafpsychotherapyllc4/ Support the show

    Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: EMDR, Complex Trauma and Reclaiming Your Life

  8. Aug 24 ·  Bonus

    Narcissism Is Everywhere: Childhood Trauma, Toxic Leadership, Power & AI

    Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!! Narcissism Is Everywhere: Childhood Trauma, Toxic Leadership, Power & AI Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of childhood trauma, narcissistic and emotional abuse, substance use, overdose, politics, and other potentially difficult subjects. What happens when a conversation about narcissistic parents becomes a conversation about narcissism everywhere? In this special live episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down again with Chris Van Linda (@hype.r.vigilance) for an unscripted conversation about growing up with narcissistic and emotionally unhealthy parents, the long-term effects of childhood trauma, and how those same dynamics can show up in workplaces, leadership, technology, culture, and systems of power. Noelani and Chris explore something many survivors struggle to put into words: why success doesn't always feel like success. When you've spent childhood learning that your accomplishments belong to someone else, that your role is to please, perform, fix, or remain dependent, adulthood can bring a complicated relationship with achievement. Even objectively successful people may struggle to feel pride, ownership, or satisfaction in what they've accomplished. They discuss self-sabotage, enmeshment, learned helplessness, family roles, identity, and the process of asking: “Is this actually what I want, or is this who I learned I needed to be?” The conversation then moves beyond the family system. What happens when narcissistic behaviors are rewarded in workplaces, corporations, politics, technology, and other positions of power? Noelani and Chris discuss narcissism in executive leadership, trauma-informed organizations, AI and technology, surveillance, cultural norms, fear, social change, and the importance of recognizing how interpersonal dynamics can become systemic ones. They also explore the uncertainty many people are feeling right now and why naming fear, anger, sadness, hope, joy, and everything in between matters. This is a wide-ranging, candid conversation about narcissism, trauma, identity, power, technology, culture, and ultimately, reclaiming ownership of your life. In this episode: Growing up with narcissistic and emotionally unhealthy parentsWhy male survivors need to be part of the conversationStage-parent dynamics and children being treated as extensions of their parentsWhy survivors sometimes struggle to feel successfulSelf-sabotage and learned helplessnessEnmeshment and reclaiming your identityFamily roles beyond the scapegoat and golden childNarcissism in leadership and workplace cultureTrauma-informed executive leadershipWhy narcissistic behavior can sometimes be rewarded professionallyNarcissism, power, politics, and cultural systemsAI, technology, surveillance, and the people creating these systemsFear and uncertainty in periods of rapid social changeFinding your voice after growing up afraidChoosing what matters to you and taking actionReclaiming your life as your own Connect with Chris: https://www.instagram.com/hype.r.vigilance Chris on Instagramhttps://tinyurl.com/bddemu7bm - Chris on Cameo https://bit.ly/4ahfgCz Chris’ Lint.reeConnect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearesthttps://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/ Beyond Mommy Dearest explores the impact of narcissistic and emotionally immature parenting and what it takes to heal, break generational cycles, rebuild self-trust, and come home to yourself. Support the show

    Narcissism Is Everywhere: Childhood Trauma, Toxic Leadership, Power & AI
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Beyond Mommy Dearest is a podcast for adult daughters navigating the complicated, often painful reality of difficult, emotionally immature, or narcissistic mothers. Hosted by a trauma-informed leadership coach, this show explores the long-term impact of mother-daughter wounds, boundary setting, grief, identity, and healing beyond blame. Through honest conversations, education, and lived experience, Beyond Mommy Dearest helps listeners reconnect with themselves, trust their instincts, and move forward with clarity, compassion, and strength.

Information

  • Creator
    Beyond Mommy Dearest
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    39
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast
  • Show Website
    Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast

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