It's You. Oh F*ck. It's ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist.

Chad Taylor
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Self-Improvement

It’s You. Oh F*ck. It’s ME.In Session with a PsychotherapistThis podcast isn’t about self-improvement.It’s about unconscious self-avoidance.I’m Chad Taylor — psychotherapist and author of It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME.The book sits behind these conversations, not ahead of them. It's the reason this Podcast exists.These sessions explore relationships, addiction (the obvious ones and the socially acceptable ones), therapy, and the patterns we keep calling “healing” so we don’t actually have to change.No advice.No tools.No pretending insight equals growth.Just real conversations — solo episodes, sessions with other therapists, clients, and readers — sitting in the gap between what we understand and how we actually live.If you want reassurance, this isn’t it.If you want honesty, you’re in the right place.Book: It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME. https://chadtaylorpsychotherapy.com.au/book-sales

  1. 2d ago

    Max N - Happyness

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Max Nijst. Max has been clean and sober for almost twenty three years. He is a substance abuse counsellor, recovery coach, husband, father, grandfather of twelve, and someone who has spent decades helping people rebuild their lives after addiction. Before we even started recording, I knew this conversation wasn't going to be about drugs or alcohol. It was going to be about what sits underneath them. We spoke about recovery, but not in the way most people expect. Not about putting the drink down. About what happens after the drink is gone. The anger that remains. The shame that remains. The stories that remain. Because abstinence and emotional sobriety are not the same thing, and that is something I think gets missed far too often. Max speaks openly about relapsing four times before finally finding long term recovery. There is no performance in the way he tells those stories. No attempt to make himself look better than he was. Just honesty about what addiction actually looks like when you are living inside it. The guilt. The denial. The bargaining. The part of you that keeps believing this time will somehow be different. One of the things that landed for me was how much we spoke about projection. The way human beings instinctively point the finger outward because looking inward feels too threatening. We both laughed about how easy it still is, even after years of recovery, to find ourselves thinking, "It's you," before catching ourselves and realising, "Oh f**k. It's me." That really sits underneath this entire conversation. We also spent time talking about childhood. The stories we build about ourselves long before we are old enough to question them. A comment from a parent. A moment of embarrassment. A teacher. A family member. Tiny moments that quietly become identities we carry for decades. Not because they are true, but because nobody ever challenged them. What I appreciated most about Max was his humility. After more than two decades sober, years working in the addiction field, and helping countless people recover, he still speaks as someone who considers himself a student first. There was no pretending he has arrived. No pretending he has life figured out. Just a willingness to keep looking at himself before looking at everyone else. This episode isn't really about addiction. It's about responsibility. It's about the stories we continue to believe. It's about the courage to stop asking why the world keeps happening to us and start asking what part of us keeps creating the same experience. The question Max leaves for the next guest is this: How can you make this world a better place by starting with you? Max can be found at: https://www.fearlesshappyness.life/ It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  2. Jul 7

    Chayse - Desire

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Chayse. Chayse works in an area that most people either judge, misunderstand, or avoid talking about altogether. He is an erotic massage practitioner who works with women and couples, but what interested me wasn't the work itself. It was what sits underneath it. Desire. Communication. Consent. Shame. Fantasy. Touch. The things most people desperately want to talk about but rarely do honestly. This conversation surprised me. I expected to spend most of the time talking about sex, but we kept finding ourselves talking about relationships. About how little people actually communicate with each other. About the assumptions we make after years together. About partners spending decades believing they know each other while never asking the questions that actually matter. One story really stuck with me. A couple had been together for thirty years before she finally admitted she never liked something he had been doing sexually. Thirty years. It made me wonder how many people are quietly living inside relationships built on assumptions rather than honesty. We also spoke about masculinity and the way so many men confuse performance with presence. Chayse talks openly about learning to read body language rather than simply chasing an outcome. About slowing down enough to actually notice another human being instead of making intimacy about themselves. Whether people agree with his profession or not, there is something valuable in that observation. The conversation also moved into ethics, trauma, disability, boundaries, consent, and the responsibility that comes with working so intimately with vulnerable people. I found myself asking questions I never expected to ask, and I appreciated that Chayse answered them without trying to sell anything or convince anyone he was right. Probably the biggest thing I took away was how often we avoid uncomfortable conversations because we assume we already know the answer. We expect our partners to somehow read our minds, then spend years resenting them for never discovering something we never actually said. This episode is less about sex than it is about communication. Less about fantasy than honesty. Less about technique than connection. The question Chayse leaves for the next guest is this: What are you most willing to sacrifice for someone? Chayse can be found at: https://www.perthsensualmassage.com.au/ It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  3. Jun 23

    Philipp K - Transformation

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Phil. Phil is a businessman, spiritual teacher, author, and podcaster. What interested me about this conversation was how difficult it became to separate where business ended and spirituality began. We live in a culture that often treats those things as opposites. One focused on money, success, ambition and growth. The other focused on meaning, presence and consciousness. Phil has spent decades moving between both worlds and what emerged was a conversation about human nature more than anything else. We spoke about success, leadership, meditation, community, relationships and the strange tendency human beings have to hand responsibility for their lives to somebody else. A therapist. A spiritual teacher. A politician. A religion. A podcast host. Somebody who can tell us what to think, what to do and how to live. Underneath all of that seemed to sit the same question. Why is uncertainty so uncomfortable for us that we would rather surrender our own authority than face it? One of the most interesting parts of the conversation was around certainty. Phil shared stories from years of working with successful business owners and entrepreneurs and how easy it can be for somebody to become highly competent in one area of life and slowly begin believing they are competent in every area of life. Not just business but relationships, health, spirituality and human behaviour itself. It made me think about how often growth stops the moment we become convinced we have arrived. The conversation also moved into spirituality and the people who occupy those spaces. What happens when somebody starts with genuine wisdom and genuine intentions but slowly becomes trapped by power, status or admiration? How does somebody go from helping people to believing they are above them? How does curiosity become certainty? How does a teacher stop being a student? What I enjoyed most about Phil was his willingness to stay inside the questions rather than rush toward answers. He spoke from observation rather than authority and from experience rather than performance. By the end of the conversation it felt less like we had been discussing business or spirituality and more like we had been exploring the same thing from different angles. The human tendency to search outside ourselves for something that ultimately has to be found within ourselves. The statement Phil leaves for the next guest is this: A little bit of light can erase a lot of darkness. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Phillip can be found at: https://holisticcircle.org/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  4. Jun 16

    Me - Ownership

    Send us Fan Mail In this solo episode, I sit with a quote left by the previous guest, Matt Peale: For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. What starts as a conversation about change quickly becomes something much more personal. I talk about recovery, Bali, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and the strange reality that some people completely transform their lives in their seventies and eighties. People who spend decades living one way, only to discover that a single year of genuine change can become the best year of their lives. This episode sits inside responsibility. Not the social media version of responsibility. Not the self help version. The real version. The uncomfortable moment where you stop waiting for life to change and start asking what needs to change inside you. I speak about a difficult period in my own life involving a neighbour who pushed every button I had. Anger. Resentment. Revenge. The part of me that wanted to retaliate. The part of me that wanted to prove something. Years ago I would have handled it differently. That is what made it important. Because real change is not what you say. Real change is what you do when life gives you another opportunity to become the person you used to be. The conversation moves through projection, self reflection, recovery, consciousness, and the tendency we all have to blame different people while repeating the same patterns. Different partner. Different job. Different city. Same person. The more I talk through it, the more it becomes clear that most of us spend our lives looking through the window when we should be looking in the mirror. We keep asking what is wrong with everybody else while avoiding the harder question. What is waking up in me? This is not a conversation about perfection. It is about recognising that the common denominator in every area of your life is you. Sometimes the thing that needs to change is not the world around you. Sometimes it is the way you respond to it. The question I leave for the next guest is this: Why do we prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty? It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  5. Jun 9

    Matt P - Change

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Matt Peale. Matt is a sports performance coach, author, and someone who spends his life helping people understand the connection between movement, posture, pain, performance, and wellbeing. What surprised me about this conversation is how quickly it stopped being about fitness. We started talking about posture, movement, and physical health, but underneath it was really about awareness. The way we carry ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves. The habits we repeat without ever questioning where they came from. Matt talks about how something as simple as posture affects confidence, energy, breathing, relationships, and the way we move through the world. Not because posture is some magical fix, but because nothing exists in isolation. The body affects the mind. The mind affects the body. Everything is connected. That led us into a much bigger conversation about identity and the things we attach ourselves to. Politics. Sport. Success. Failure. Recovery. The way human beings constantly look for something outside themselves to belong to, defend, and build a sense of self around. One of the parts I enjoyed most was talking about unconscious behaviour. The stories we tell ourselves. The things we believe without questioning. The way we create experiences in our lives and then act surprised when the same patterns keep showing up. Matt speaks openly about relationships, fatherhood, divorce, pressure, self talk, and the role the subconscious plays in shaping our lives. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from someone willing to look honestly at where he still gets caught in his own thinking. We also spoke about golf, which on the surface sounds ridiculous. Getting angry over a little white ball. But underneath it sits something most of us know well. Perfectionism. Expectation. Self judgement. The need to get things right. Different environment. Same human being. What landed for me was how often we try to solve problems externally when the real work is internal. Whether it is our posture, our relationships, our reactions, or the stories we tell ourselves, the common denominator keeps showing up. Us. The statement Matt leaves for the next guest is this: For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Matt Peale can be found at: https://www.mattpeale.com/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  6. Jun 2

    Rosemary - Overthinking

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Rosemary Gattuso. Rosemary is a family mediator, counsellor, and author of It’s Not You. It’s Me. A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self Reflection. The moment I saw the title of her book, I knew this conversation was going to head somewhere interesting. This episode sits inside conflict, accountability, overthinking, and the way relationships slowly break down when people become more focused on defending themselves than understanding each other. Rosemary comes from years of sitting between separating couples and families in conflict. Real people navigating betrayal, resentment, parenting, anger, and heartbreak while trying to untangle lives that have become emotionally fused together. What I found interesting in this conversation was how often people become trapped inside their own perspective. The need to prove they are right. The need to explain themselves. The need to make the other person the villain so they can avoid sitting in their own discomfort. We talk a lot about identity in this episode. How pain can quietly become part of who we think we are. How overthinking creates the illusion of control while actually keeping people stuck. And how exhausting life becomes when every interaction is filtered through defence, fear, or past wounds. There is also a big part of this conversation around ownership. Not self blame. Not shame. Ownership. The ability to stop asking: Who caused this? And start asking: What part of this belongs to me? Rosemary also speaks about something that landed heavily for me from her work. The difference between focusing on what’s wrong and focusing on what’s strong. That simple shift changes how people move through conflict, relationships, parenting, and even the way they see themselves. We also get into vulnerability and the way people confuse it with emotional dumping. Oversharing. Bleeding unresolved pain onto strangers and calling it connection. That part hit home for me personally because I know exactly what it looks like to unconsciously use other people as emotional containers while believing you are simply being open. There is a fascinating tension throughout this whole conversation between awareness and identity. Between genuinely helping people and unconsciously hiding behind the role of therapist, mediator, helper, or healer. This is not a conversation about becoming perfect or emotionally evolved. It is about noticing where we stay trapped in our own narrative long enough to keep repeating the same patterns with different people. The question Rosemary leaves for the next guest is this: Is my focus on what’s wrong or what’s strong? It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Rosemary Gattuso can be found at; https://www.rosemarygattuso.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rosemarygattuso/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  7. May 26

    Terraine - Reflection

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Terraine. Terraine is a coach, podcaster, and someone who speaks openly about heartbreak, avoidance, family wounds, and the unconscious reasons we chase relationships in the first place. What I liked about this conversation is that it never stayed surface level for very long. We started talking about relationships, but underneath it was really about safety. The need to belong. The need to feel chosen. The need to finally build the family or connection we never really had growing up. Terraine speaks openly about growing up without stability and how that shaped the way he approached love. Not consciously. Not manipulatively. Just the way most of us do when we have unresolved shit sitting underneath us. We move toward what feels familiar, even when familiar hurts us. That was probably the biggest thing this episode sat inside. How many relationships are actually built from awareness? And how many are built from wounds trying to find relief? We talk about physical abuse, emotional safety, attachment styles, pornography, projection, narcissism, social media outrage, and the human tendency to constantly need someone else to blame for the discomfort we feel inside ourselves. Not in a preachy way. Not as theory. As real human behaviour. There is a part of this conversation where we move into accountability and that is where things got interesting for me. Because it is easy to point at parents, ex partners, childhood, trauma, society, or whatever else shaped us. And to be fair, a lot of those things genuinely do shape us. But eventually there comes a point where we have to ask: What is my responsibility now? Not what happened to me. What am I continuing to repeat? That is the shift this whole conversation keeps circling around. We also speak a lot about modern relationships and the way people unconsciously recreate the same dynamic over and over with different faces. Different partner. Same argument. Same wound. Same ending. And underneath all of it is usually the same thing. Fear. Fear of abandonment. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being enough. Fear of actually being seen. This is not a conversation about perfect relationships or becoming some spiritually enlightened couple who never argues. It is about recognising your own patterns quickly enough that you stop destroying connection every time discomfort shows up. The statement Terraine leaves for the next guest is this: Creating memories are the gateway to happiness. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Terraine Brown can be found at: https://www.behindtheshades.ca GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  8. May 22

    Chad - THE GROUP

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m on my own again. This one is different. I sit inside the groups I’m launching and why I think people are starving for spaces where they can stop performing and start being f*****g honest. Not self improvement. Not life coaching. Not people pretending they’ve transcended being human. Just real people sitting in a room together finally realising: “F**k. I do that too.” I talk about addiction recovery, unconscious behaviour, emotional triggers, avoidance, projection, defensiveness, relationships, affairs, criticism, masculinity, feminine energy, and the stories we keep repeating without even realising it. I break down how small moments inside relationships are never really about the surface issue. The coffee machine isn’t about the coffee machine. The tone isn’t about the tone. The argument today usually started twenty years ago. This episode is really about slowing things down enough to see what is actually happening underneath our reactions. I also talk about the danger of becoming the smartest person in the room. How insight becomes ego. How awareness becomes armour. How people hide behind therapy language instead of actually changing. These groups are not therapy. They are not motivational seminars. They are not a place to be fixed. They are a place to get honest enough to finally see yourself. The only real rule: Don’t be a C*nt. The question this episode leaves behind is this: What story are you still telling that keeps you from looking in the mirror? It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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It’s You. Oh F*ck. It’s ME.In Session with a PsychotherapistThis podcast isn’t about self-improvement.It’s about unconscious self-avoidance.I’m Chad Taylor — psychotherapist and author of It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME.The book sits behind these conversations, not ahead of them. It's the reason this Podcast exists.These sessions explore relationships, addiction (the obvious ones and the socially acceptable ones), therapy, and the patterns we keep calling “healing” so we don’t actually have to change.No advice.No tools.No pretending insight equals growth.Just real conversations — solo episodes, sessions with other therapists, clients, and readers — sitting in the gap between what we understand and how we actually live.If you want reassurance, this isn’t it.If you want honesty, you’re in the right place.Book: It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME. https://chadtaylorpsychotherapy.com.au/book-sales

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