It's You. Oh F*ck. It's ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist.

Chad Taylor
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Self-Improvement

It’s You. Oh F*ck. It’s ME.In Session with a PsychotherapistThis podcast isn’t about self-improvement.It’s about unconscious self-avoidance.I’m Chad Taylor — psychotherapist and author of It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME.The book sits behind these conversations, not ahead of them. It's the reason this Podcast exists.These sessions explore relationships, addiction (the obvious ones and the socially acceptable ones), therapy, and the patterns we keep calling “healing” so we don’t actually have to change.No advice.No tools.No pretending insight equals growth.Just real conversations — solo episodes, sessions with other therapists, clients, and readers — sitting in the gap between what we understand and how we actually live.If you want reassurance, this isn’t it.If you want honesty, you’re in the right place.Book: It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME. https://chadtaylorpsychotherapy.com.au/book-sales

  1. 1d ago

    Chad - Kindness

    Send us Fan Mail In this solo episode, I pick up exactly where Jacob left me with one simple statement. No matter the faults, no matter the problems, all you can do is try and be kind. Kindness sounds simple until somebody hurts me. It is easy to think I am a kind person when everything is going my way, but what happens when somebody disappoints me, rejects me, betrays me, or simply doesn't give me what I want? That is probably where kindness actually starts to mean something. I talk about the difference between kindness and being nice, because I don't think they are the same thing. Kindness isn't saying yes to everything. It isn't avoiding conflict or allowing somebody to continually hurt me. I can say no kindly. I can set a boundary kindly. I can tell somebody the truth they don't want to hear kindly. I can even end a relationship kindly. Their reaction to that doesn't determine whether what I did was kind. Sometimes kindness actually requires more strength than cruelty. When I'm triggered, being a prick can be f*****g easy. Remaining conscious enough not to deliberately hurt somebody when part of me desperately wants to hurt them back is much harder. That comes into my work as a psychotherapist as well. Sometimes the kindest thing I can do for somebody isn't nod my head and make them feel comfortable. Sometimes it is metaphorically throwing a bucket of water over them and waking them the f**k up. That can be confronting, but kindness isn't always comfortable. Intent matters. I also get into what is underneath me when I can't be kind. Is it my ego? My pride? My fear of rejection? My need to win? What am I actually protecting when I need to humiliate somebody, punish them, prove them wrong, or make sure they feel some of the pain I'm feeling? All behaviour is communication, and the person standing opposite me has a story as well. Understanding their behaviour doesn't mean excusing it. I can think somebody is completely f*****g wrong and still treat them like a human being. I can disagree without destroying them. I can set a boundary without needing revenge. Somewhere along the way I think we've forgotten that disagreement doesn't automatically make somebody our enemy. Then there is kindness at home, because that is probably where it really counts. Not with the stranger who thinks I'm a great bloke because I smiled at them. With my partner. My kids. The people who see me tired, frustrated, stressed, angry, distracted, and completely f*****g over it. Am I still kind when nobody is watching? And probably the hardest part of all of this is kindness towards myself. I can speak to myself internally in ways I would never speak to another human being. F*****g idiot. Stupid c**t. Failure. Weak. Not good enough. Not enough books sold. Not enough listeners. Not enough people in the group. I should be doing better. Being kind to myself doesn't mean avoiding accountability. I can say I f****d up. I hurt somebody. I did the wrong thing. I need to own it and repair it. But accountability and self hatred are not the same thing. I don't need to turn something I did wrong into an identity about who I am. Most kindness isn't some massive act anyway. It is tiny. Putting the phone down when somebody I love wants to talk. Saying thank you. Apologising when I f****d up. Catching my tone of voice. Giving somebody another ten seconds before I react. Not bringing the pain from my day through the front door and dumping it onto somebody who didn't cause it. I'm never going to be perfectly conscious. I'm going to react. I'm going to get defensive. I'm going to be unkind. Maybe the work isn't becoming somebody who never does those things. Maybe it is seeing them quicker and coming back sooner. The statement I leave for the next guest is this: Until you make the unconscious conscious, it'll direct our lives and we'll call it fate. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  2. Aug 4

    Jacob - Potential

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Jacob. Jacob is twenty years old and the creator of the TalkAnything podcast. On paper, this probably looks like a conversation between two podcasters. It wasn't. It quickly became a conversation about identity, kindness, autism, purpose, and what it means to become a good man in a world that constantly tells you who you should be. What struck me most was Jacob's curiosity. At twenty years old he isn't pretending to have life figured out. If anything, he seems genuinely fascinated by people and by the process of trying to understand himself. I found that refreshing. Most of us spend years trying to convince the world we know who we are. Jacob seems far more interested in asking whether we ever really do. We spoke about his autism and I appreciated how honestly he described it. There is a growing trend to either frame autism as nothing but a disability or nothing but a superpower. Jacob sits somewhere much more grounded. He openly acknowledges the struggles it has brought into his life, while also recognising that it has given him a different way of seeing the world. That honesty made the conversation far more interesting than simply trying to force it into one narrative or the other. One part of the conversation that really landed for me was around identity. After reading my book, Jacob spoke about how easy it is to build an identity around labels. Being autistic. Being a podcaster. Being misunderstood. Then he asked a question that stayed with me. Where does understanding yourself end and limiting yourself begin? I thought that was a remarkable question for someone his age, and probably one many people much older still haven't asked themselves. We also spoke about kindness. Not as something soft or passive, but as something intentional. Jacob described himself as the person his friends call when they need someone to listen. Someone who genuinely wants to make other people's lives a little easier. At the same time, we explored the difference between kindness and people pleasing, because there is a fine line between giving freely and quietly abandoning yourself. As the conversation unfolded, it became less about autism, podcasting, or even identity. It became a conversation about growing up. About trying different versions of yourself. About recognising that who you are at twenty probably won't be who you are at thirty, forty, or fifty. That isn't failure. It might actually be the whole point. The statement Jacob leaves for the next guest is this: No matter the faults, no matter the problems, all you can do is try and be kind. Jacob can be found at: https://talkanythingpodcast.wordpress.com/ It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  3. Jul 21

    Max N - Happyness

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Max Nijst. Max has been clean and sober for almost twenty three years. He is a substance abuse counsellor, recovery coach, husband, father, grandfather of twelve, and someone who has spent decades helping people rebuild their lives after addiction. Before we even started recording, I knew this conversation wasn't going to be about drugs or alcohol. It was going to be about what sits underneath them. We spoke about recovery, but not in the way most people expect. Not about putting the drink down. About what happens after the drink is gone. The anger that remains. The shame that remains. The stories that remain. Because abstinence and emotional sobriety are not the same thing, and that is something I think gets missed far too often. Max speaks openly about relapsing four times before finally finding long term recovery. There is no performance in the way he tells those stories. No attempt to make himself look better than he was. Just honesty about what addiction actually looks like when you are living inside it. The guilt. The denial. The bargaining. The part of you that keeps believing this time will somehow be different. One of the things that landed for me was how much we spoke about projection. The way human beings instinctively point the finger outward because looking inward feels too threatening. We both laughed about how easy it still is, even after years of recovery, to find ourselves thinking, "It's you," before catching ourselves and realising, "Oh f**k. It's me." That really sits underneath this entire conversation. We also spent time talking about childhood. The stories we build about ourselves long before we are old enough to question them. A comment from a parent. A moment of embarrassment. A teacher. A family member. Tiny moments that quietly become identities we carry for decades. Not because they are true, but because nobody ever challenged them. What I appreciated most about Max was his humility. After more than two decades sober, years working in the addiction field, and helping countless people recover, he still speaks as someone who considers himself a student first. There was no pretending he has arrived. No pretending he has life figured out. Just a willingness to keep looking at himself before looking at everyone else. This episode isn't really about addiction. It's about responsibility. It's about the stories we continue to believe. It's about the courage to stop asking why the world keeps happening to us and start asking what part of us keeps creating the same experience. The question Max leaves for the next guest is this: How can you make this world a better place by starting with you? Max can be found at: https://www.fearlesshappyness.life/ It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  4. Jul 7

    Chayse - Desire

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Chayse. Chayse works in an area that most people either judge, misunderstand, or avoid talking about altogether. He is an erotic massage practitioner who works with women and couples, but what interested me wasn't the work itself. It was what sits underneath it. Desire. Communication. Consent. Shame. Fantasy. Touch. The things most people desperately want to talk about but rarely do honestly. This conversation surprised me. I expected to spend most of the time talking about sex, but we kept finding ourselves talking about relationships. About how little people actually communicate with each other. About the assumptions we make after years together. About partners spending decades believing they know each other while never asking the questions that actually matter. One story really stuck with me. A couple had been together for thirty years before she finally admitted she never liked something he had been doing sexually. Thirty years. It made me wonder how many people are quietly living inside relationships built on assumptions rather than honesty. We also spoke about masculinity and the way so many men confuse performance with presence. Chayse talks openly about learning to read body language rather than simply chasing an outcome. About slowing down enough to actually notice another human being instead of making intimacy about themselves. Whether people agree with his profession or not, there is something valuable in that observation. The conversation also moved into ethics, trauma, disability, boundaries, consent, and the responsibility that comes with working so intimately with vulnerable people. I found myself asking questions I never expected to ask, and I appreciated that Chayse answered them without trying to sell anything or convince anyone he was right. Probably the biggest thing I took away was how often we avoid uncomfortable conversations because we assume we already know the answer. We expect our partners to somehow read our minds, then spend years resenting them for never discovering something we never actually said. This episode is less about sex than it is about communication. Less about fantasy than honesty. Less about technique than connection. The question Chayse leaves for the next guest is this: What are you most willing to sacrifice for someone? Chayse can be found at: https://www.perthsensualmassage.com.au/ It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  5. Jun 23

    Philipp K - Transformation

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Phil. Phil is a businessman, spiritual teacher, author, and podcaster. What interested me about this conversation was how difficult it became to separate where business ended and spirituality began. We live in a culture that often treats those things as opposites. One focused on money, success, ambition and growth. The other focused on meaning, presence and consciousness. Phil has spent decades moving between both worlds and what emerged was a conversation about human nature more than anything else. We spoke about success, leadership, meditation, community, relationships and the strange tendency human beings have to hand responsibility for their lives to somebody else. A therapist. A spiritual teacher. A politician. A religion. A podcast host. Somebody who can tell us what to think, what to do and how to live. Underneath all of that seemed to sit the same question. Why is uncertainty so uncomfortable for us that we would rather surrender our own authority than face it? One of the most interesting parts of the conversation was around certainty. Phil shared stories from years of working with successful business owners and entrepreneurs and how easy it can be for somebody to become highly competent in one area of life and slowly begin believing they are competent in every area of life. Not just business but relationships, health, spirituality and human behaviour itself. It made me think about how often growth stops the moment we become convinced we have arrived. The conversation also moved into spirituality and the people who occupy those spaces. What happens when somebody starts with genuine wisdom and genuine intentions but slowly becomes trapped by power, status or admiration? How does somebody go from helping people to believing they are above them? How does curiosity become certainty? How does a teacher stop being a student? What I enjoyed most about Phil was his willingness to stay inside the questions rather than rush toward answers. He spoke from observation rather than authority and from experience rather than performance. By the end of the conversation it felt less like we had been discussing business or spirituality and more like we had been exploring the same thing from different angles. The human tendency to search outside ourselves for something that ultimately has to be found within ourselves. The statement Phil leaves for the next guest is this: A little bit of light can erase a lot of darkness. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Phillip can be found at: https://holisticcircle.org/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  6. Jun 16

    Me - Ownership

    Send us Fan Mail In this solo episode, I sit with a quote left by the previous guest, Matt Peale: For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. What starts as a conversation about change quickly becomes something much more personal. I talk about recovery, Bali, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and the strange reality that some people completely transform their lives in their seventies and eighties. People who spend decades living one way, only to discover that a single year of genuine change can become the best year of their lives. This episode sits inside responsibility. Not the social media version of responsibility. Not the self help version. The real version. The uncomfortable moment where you stop waiting for life to change and start asking what needs to change inside you. I speak about a difficult period in my own life involving a neighbour who pushed every button I had. Anger. Resentment. Revenge. The part of me that wanted to retaliate. The part of me that wanted to prove something. Years ago I would have handled it differently. That is what made it important. Because real change is not what you say. Real change is what you do when life gives you another opportunity to become the person you used to be. The conversation moves through projection, self reflection, recovery, consciousness, and the tendency we all have to blame different people while repeating the same patterns. Different partner. Different job. Different city. Same person. The more I talk through it, the more it becomes clear that most of us spend our lives looking through the window when we should be looking in the mirror. We keep asking what is wrong with everybody else while avoiding the harder question. What is waking up in me? This is not a conversation about perfection. It is about recognising that the common denominator in every area of your life is you. Sometimes the thing that needs to change is not the world around you. Sometimes it is the way you respond to it. The question I leave for the next guest is this: Why do we prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty? It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  7. Jun 9

    Matt P - Change

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Matt Peale. Matt is a sports performance coach, author, and someone who spends his life helping people understand the connection between movement, posture, pain, performance, and wellbeing. What surprised me about this conversation is how quickly it stopped being about fitness. We started talking about posture, movement, and physical health, but underneath it was really about awareness. The way we carry ourselves. The stories we tell ourselves. The habits we repeat without ever questioning where they came from. Matt talks about how something as simple as posture affects confidence, energy, breathing, relationships, and the way we move through the world. Not because posture is some magical fix, but because nothing exists in isolation. The body affects the mind. The mind affects the body. Everything is connected. That led us into a much bigger conversation about identity and the things we attach ourselves to. Politics. Sport. Success. Failure. Recovery. The way human beings constantly look for something outside themselves to belong to, defend, and build a sense of self around. One of the parts I enjoyed most was talking about unconscious behaviour. The stories we tell ourselves. The things we believe without questioning. The way we create experiences in our lives and then act surprised when the same patterns keep showing up. Matt speaks openly about relationships, fatherhood, divorce, pressure, self talk, and the role the subconscious plays in shaping our lives. Not from a place of having it all figured out, but from someone willing to look honestly at where he still gets caught in his own thinking. We also spoke about golf, which on the surface sounds ridiculous. Getting angry over a little white ball. But underneath it sits something most of us know well. Perfectionism. Expectation. Self judgement. The need to get things right. Different environment. Same human being. What landed for me was how often we try to solve problems externally when the real work is internal. Whether it is our posture, our relationships, our reactions, or the stories we tell ourselves, the common denominator keeps showing up. Us. The statement Matt leaves for the next guest is this: For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Matt Peale can be found at: https://www.mattpeale.com/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

  8. Jun 2

    Rosemary - Overthinking

    Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I’m joined by Rosemary Gattuso. Rosemary is a family mediator, counsellor, and author of It’s Not You. It’s Me. A Chronic Overthinker’s Guide to Self Reflection. The moment I saw the title of her book, I knew this conversation was going to head somewhere interesting. This episode sits inside conflict, accountability, overthinking, and the way relationships slowly break down when people become more focused on defending themselves than understanding each other. Rosemary comes from years of sitting between separating couples and families in conflict. Real people navigating betrayal, resentment, parenting, anger, and heartbreak while trying to untangle lives that have become emotionally fused together. What I found interesting in this conversation was how often people become trapped inside their own perspective. The need to prove they are right. The need to explain themselves. The need to make the other person the villain so they can avoid sitting in their own discomfort. We talk a lot about identity in this episode. How pain can quietly become part of who we think we are. How overthinking creates the illusion of control while actually keeping people stuck. And how exhausting life becomes when every interaction is filtered through defence, fear, or past wounds. There is also a big part of this conversation around ownership. Not self blame. Not shame. Ownership. The ability to stop asking: Who caused this? And start asking: What part of this belongs to me? Rosemary also speaks about something that landed heavily for me from her work. The difference between focusing on what’s wrong and focusing on what’s strong. That simple shift changes how people move through conflict, relationships, parenting, and even the way they see themselves. We also get into vulnerability and the way people confuse it with emotional dumping. Oversharing. Bleeding unresolved pain onto strangers and calling it connection. That part hit home for me personally because I know exactly what it looks like to unconsciously use other people as emotional containers while believing you are simply being open. There is a fascinating tension throughout this whole conversation between awareness and identity. Between genuinely helping people and unconsciously hiding behind the role of therapist, mediator, helper, or healer. This is not a conversation about becoming perfect or emotionally evolved. It is about noticing where we stay trapped in our own narrative long enough to keep repeating the same patterns with different people. The question Rosemary leaves for the next guest is this: Is my focus on what’s wrong or what’s strong? It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME. In Session with a Psychotherapist Hosted by Chad Taylor. Author of It’s You. Oh F**k. It’s ME No tips. No fixing. Just real conversations. Rosemary Gattuso can be found at; https://www.rosemarygattuso.com/ https://www.instagram.com/rosemarygattuso/ GROUPS/COURSES: PATREON WEBSITE INSTAGRAM  BOOK SALES: SHOPIFY

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It’s You. Oh F*ck. It’s ME.In Session with a PsychotherapistThis podcast isn’t about self-improvement.It’s about unconscious self-avoidance.I’m Chad Taylor — psychotherapist and author of It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME.The book sits behind these conversations, not ahead of them. It's the reason this Podcast exists.These sessions explore relationships, addiction (the obvious ones and the socially acceptable ones), therapy, and the patterns we keep calling “healing” so we don’t actually have to change.No advice.No tools.No pretending insight equals growth.Just real conversations — solo episodes, sessions with other therapists, clients, and readers — sitting in the gap between what we understand and how we actually live.If you want reassurance, this isn’t it.If you want honesty, you’re in the right place.Book: It’s You, Oh F**k, It’s ME. https://chadtaylorpsychotherapy.com.au/book-sales

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