Coming Back Online

Derek
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Mental Health

Honest talks on Weed, Clarity and coming back to yourself

  1. Jul 9

    No Longer a Prisoner in my own Body

    For years, I thought I was trying to escape stress, anxiety, boredom, and pain. What I eventually realized was that I was trying to escape myself. In this episode of Coming Back Online, I talk about what happened after quitting weed, why recovery was never just about substances, and what it means to slowly rebuild trust in yourself after years of numbing, distracting, and disconnecting. We talk about identity, dopamine, emotional avoidance, midlife reinvention, and the surprising truth that freedom isn’t about escaping your life — it’s about no longer needing to escape yourself. If you’re struggling with dependence, emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from who you are, I hope this conversation reminds you that coming back online is possible. — Coming Back Online is a podcast about sobriety, nervous system healing, emotional honesty, and reconnecting with yourself after years of surviving on autopilot. Follow along: Instagram: @comingbackonline Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  2. Jun 27

    Control the Controllable-Everything else is Noise

    In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your life — learning to focus on what you can actually control. We live in a world full of noise, unpredictability, and other people’s behavior, and most of it is completely out of our hands. But how you take care of your mind, your body, and your habits? That’s yours. I get personal in this one — talking about my journey quitting weed, going through a divorce, building Coming Back Online from scratch, and how some of the hardest, most painful chapters of my life ended up being the greatest catalysts for change. From CBT group therapy to tango dancing, I share what’s waiting for you on the other side of the struggle — if you’re willing to take the first step. No judgment here. Just honesty, real talk, and a reminder that we are all works in progress. 🎙️ Topics covered: •The law of impermanence and why control is an illusion — mostly •Recognizing what’s actually running your life •How to turn negative energy into fuel for growth •Addiction, all-or-nothing thinking, and self-awareness •Why quitting weed opened doors I never expected •The ripple effect of one person’s change on an entire community Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  3. Jun 15

    What serves you, What doesn't, and how to know the difference

    In this episode, I’m responding directly to comments and messages from people going through all kinds of struggles—grief, divorce, depression, feeling stuck, feeling empty, and wondering what’s missing in their lives. We talk about the importance of listening to your body, paying attention to the signals your life is giving you, and being honest about what’s helping you and what’s holding you back. I also share my thoughts on weed and recovery. If cannabis still serves you, isn’t causing problems, and helps you get through difficult times, that’s your choice. But if you’re questioning your relationship with it, feeling stuck, disconnected, anxious, or simply wondering what life might look like without it, this conversation may resonate with you. This isn’t about judgment. It’s about curiosity, self-awareness, and learning to trust yourself enough to make changes when something no longer feels aligned. If you’ve been feeling like something needs to change but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, this episode is for you. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  4. Jun 10

    Your Questions about Weed, Sobriety and Healing

    In this episode, I’m answering some questions and messages I’ve been getting on social media about sobriety, healing, and what actually helped me quit smoking weed after struggling with it for a long time. I talk about some of the things that helped me personally, but also why recovery isn’t the same for everybody. What works for one person might not work for someone else. A big part of the process is finding new things that help you grow, heal, and reconnect with yourself again. It’s not easy. Some days are harder than others. But if you stay strong and keep moving forward, little by little you start feeling more like yourself again. More emotionally grounded. More in control of your reactions, impulses, and cravings. More present in your own life. For me, sobriety has also brought a deeper sense of spiritual awareness and connection to a higher version of myself. This episode is just an honest conversation about the process of coming back online and learning how to live fully again. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  5. Jun 5

    Coming Back Online | My Story With Weed, Dependence & Trying to Find Myself Again

    This is the first video episode of Coming Back Online — a podcast about long-term weed use, dependence, sobriety, mental clarity, and trying to reconnect with yourself after years of feeling disconnected. In this episode, I open up about what originally got me started smoking weed, how it slowly became part of my identity and everyday life, and the complicated relationship I developed with it over the years. I talk about the comfort, escape, creativity, routines, and emotional coping tied into long-term use — but also the stagnation, disconnection, anxiety, and feeling that something inside me slowly started fading. This podcast isn’t about judgment, perfection, or pretending to have all the answers. It’s an honest exploration of addiction, habits, mental health, dopamine, identity, and what it means to navigate sobriety in a world where a lot of people quietly struggle with the same things. Also — this is my first video podcast, so bear with me while I figure out the lighting, editing, sound, camera setup, and everything that comes with building this from scratch. I wanted to start before everything was perfect because I know there are people out there who need honest conversations more than polished ones. If you’ve ever felt stuck, emotionally numb, dependent on something to get through life, or like you’ve slowly lost connection with yourself… you’re not alone. Welcome to Coming Back Online. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  6. May 13

    Unfiltered thoughts on CHS, Dependence and my History with Weed

    This episode is honestly just me talking. No heavy editing. No perfect structure. Just a real conversation about my history with weed, dependency, creativity, comfort, escape, and the role it played in my life for a long time. I grew up around it. A lot of my friends smoked. It became part of hard times, good times, relationships, routines… life. But I also started dealing with serious stomach issues and episodes that sent me to the ER multiple times. I was never officially diagnosed with CHS, but once I stopped smoking, those episodes went away completely. I’m not here to judge anyone or tell people what to do. I just think if you’ve been dealing with unexplained stomach issues, anxiety, nausea, physical symptoms, or weird health problems while smoking heavily — especially with how potent and mass-produced weed has become today — it might be worth experimenting with taking a break and really listening to your body. This one’s messy and unfiltered. Even Kiki makes a few appearances in the background. But maybe that’s what makes it honest. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  7. Apr 16

    The Addiction No One Talks About (Weed, Stagnation & Potential)

    In this episode, I talk about a side of addiction that doesn’t get enough attention—the kind that doesn’t destroy your life overnight, but slowly keeps you stuck. After watching Anonymous People and reflecting on my own journey, I started to see addiction differently. Not just as something that causes chaos, but something that can quietly hold you back from becoming who you’re meant to be. This episode is about weed, comfort, avoidance, and what happens when you finally start facing yourself again. If you’ve ever wondered whether something in your life is helping you grow or keeping you comfortable… this one’s for you. Anonymous People Documentary:  https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2571226/ Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  8. Apr 3

    The Hidden Cost of Comfort: Unpacking Cannabinoid Hypermesis Syndrome, the Mind-Gut Connection

    What if the thing you’ve been using to feel better… is actually what’s making you sick? In this episode, we unpack Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) — a paradoxical condition where chronic cannabis use can lead to severe nausea, stomach pain, and cycles of physical distress. But this isn’t just about CHS. We go deeper into the mind–gut connection, the rise of high-potency THC, and how the body can start expressing what the mind has been trying to suppress. I also share my personal experience — from using weed to cope… to dealing with stomach convulsions, anxiety, and the realization that I wasn’t healing… I was masking. This episode challenges a bigger question: Are we actually healing… or just getting comfortable avoiding the root? If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with weed, your body, or your coping mechanisms — this conversation might hit closer than you expect. References [1] Lauren Cue, Frederick Chu, Marco Cascella. Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome. StatPearls, NCBI Bookshelf. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK549915/ [2] Priyadarshini Loganathan, Mahesh Gajendran, Hemant Goyal. A Comprehensive Review and Update on Cannabis Hyperemesis Syndrome. Pharmaceuticals, 2024, 17(11), 1549. Available at: https://www.mdpi.com/1424-8247/17/11/1549 [3] Vaping360. THC Levels Chart: Crunching the Numbers. Available at: https://vaping360.com/learn/thc-percentage-level-chart/ [4] PMC. The Problem with the Current High Potency THC Marijuana. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6312155/ [5] I. Ibrahim, S. Syamala, J.A. Ayariga, J. Xu, B.K. Robertson. Modulatory Effect of Gut Microbiota on the Gut-Brain, Gut-Bone Axes, and the Impact of Cannabinoids. Metabolites, 2022, 12(12), 1247. Available at: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9781427/ [6] UC San Diego Today. Large Genetic Study Links Cannabis Use to Psychiatric, Cognitive and Physical Health. Available at: https://today.ucsd.edu/story/large-genetic-study-links-cannabis-use-to-psychiatric-cognitive-and-physical-health [7] PubMed. Short and Long-Term Effects of Cannabis on Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Available at: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32469819/ [8] Acupuncture Collective. Root vs. Branch Treatments: Identifying the Underlying Cause Versus Symptom Checking. Available at: https://www.acupuncturecollective.ca/blog/root-vs-branch-treatments-identifying-the-underlying-cause-versus-symptom-checking Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

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5
out of 5
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About

Honest talks on Weed, Clarity and coming back to yourself

Information

  • Creator
    Derek
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Coming Back Online
  • Show Website
    Coming Back Online