What happens when you finally slow down and grief still doesn’t do what you expected? In this episode of Under the Griefluence, Blair Kaplan Venables and Alana get honest about rest, resistance, self-care, and the myth that healing or creativity follows a tidy timeline. From the Maldives to the couch, from unfinished book proposals to bubble baths and disco balls, this conversation is a reminder that grief does not care about your to-do list. And sometimes, that’s the point. Grief, Rest, and Letting Go of the Productivity Myth Blair recorded this episode while in the Maldives, intentionally stepping away from a very full life. A life that recently includes publishing a book, managing her husband’s health challenges, travelling nonstop, and holding space for a global grief community. The original plan was simple on paper: long flights, uninterrupted time, and meaningful progress on a prescriptive memoir built around the Navigating Grief Framework. What actually happened was sleep. A lot of it. Instead of writing through the flights, Blair’s body did what bodies do when they finally feel safe enough to rest. It shut everything down. Between exhaustion, emotional load, and a Shameless binge, the expected “productive breakthrough” never arrived. And that became the real lesson. Grief does not perform on demand. Healing is not linear. And rest is not a failure. Writing a Book While Living a Life The book Blair and Alana are working on is deeply personal. It is a prescriptive memoir rooted in lived experience, neuroscience, and the Navigating Grief Framework. The intention of the Maldives trip was not perfection, but clarity. To understand what still needs to be written and what can wait. What surfaced instead was something more honest. Sometimes the work is not producing pages. Sometimes the work is noticing resistance, honouring exhaustion, and letting yourself be human inside the process. Blair also shared that a more serious update will come once she leaves the Maldives. Grief, as always, has layers. And not all of them are ready to be spoken out loud yet. Unexpected Connections and Grief in Small Moments The episode also captures the quiet, human moments that often hold more healing than the big plans. Blair talked about meeting two fellow travellers, Marcel and Paulina, who taught her how to play backgammon. About wandering the island, observing local culture, and adjusting to the intense humidity. About navigating suspected allergies made worse by air conditioning. And then there was Eileen. A calico cat who appeared during the trip and immediately reminded Blair of her late mother’s cat, Zena. One of those moments that hits you out of nowhere. A reminder that grief travels with us, even to paradise, and shows up in the smallest, most unexpected ways. Alana’s Version of Grief Care While Blair was across the world, Alana was practicing her own version of care. She finished watching Survivor, leaned into colouring, read a book, and tested out a new bubble bath. Different geography, same intention. Gentle regulation. Comfort without productivity pressure. They joked about sunscreen, humidity, and the idea of trading immunity for an invitation, but underneath the humour was a shared truth. Grief does not require dramatic gestures. Sometimes it asks for quiet routines that make your nervous system feel a little safer. Built From Broken Pieces: When Grief Becomes Art The episode also marked the launch of Blair and Alana’s new limited-edition clothing collection, Built From Broken Pieces. The collection includes graphic tees, hoodies, and cozy staples featuring a disco ball design. A visual metaphor for resilience. Shattered, reflective, and still capable of catching the light. The line is available for a short time only and launched with a 20 percent discount using the code GRIEFMONTH. Feedback from early buyers has already been deeply affirming, with many sharing how seen they feel wearing the message. This is not just merch. It is wearable language for people who have survived things they never asked for. A Global Grief Community Is Gathering Blair also shared her excitement about an upcoming grief trip that includes participants from seven different countries. A reminder that grief is universal, even though it looks different everywhere. The next episode of Under the Griefluence will be recorded during that trip, bringing listeners into the experience in real time. What This Episode Really Teaches This conversation is not about checking boxes. It is about releasing the idea that grief healing should look productive, polished, or impressive. Sometimes the most honest work is rest.Sometimes the most radical act is stopping.Sometimes healing looks like sleep, cats, colouring books, and disco balls. And sometimes, being under the griefluence means admitting you didn’t do what you planned, and loving yourself anyway. If you are navigating grief, burnout, or emotional overload, this episode is your permission slip to soften the timeline. And if you are ready to wear your resilience, Built From Broken Pieces is waiting for you. You’re officially under the Griefluence. X Blair + Alana P.S. Are you like us (and disco balls), and built from broken pieces? Check out our recent, limited-edition drop. Under The Griefluence is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Global Resilience Project at theglobalresilienceproject.substack.com/subscribe
