Blooming Outside the Lines

Dr. Deb, Creating Choices PC

Blooming Outside the Lines is a podcast for women who have spent their lives trying to be good enough and instead feel tired, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and often guilty about their body size or their eating. If that’s you, you’re not alone and you deserve to be you—even if others disagree.  I’m a licensed psychologist who’s worked with women for over 30 years. I understand how hard it is to relax or take time for self-care, and the deep pull we feel for approval—approval that often defines us. We’ll talk about how the brain and our capabilities change when we ignore our self-care, wait until we have time for it, can’t say no, or fear disapproval. I’ll provide support, encouragement, and practical strategies for building your confidence from the inside out, for stepping into your own truth and blooming into the most radiant version of yourself.  The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not meant to replace the advice of any of your healthcare providers and does not mean we have a client/therapist relationship.

  1. never enough—is this fear really yours?

    4D AGO

    never enough—is this fear really yours?

    What if you realized your fear of being good enough was actually someone else’s fear? Would it help you to let it go? In this episode, I discuss inherited fears, how old fears remain alive and well when isolated in the brain, and how, instead of fearing being enough, we need to work on recognizing the pressure we feel to be enough as an outdated, inherited fear.    Link to episode with study of mice and cherry blossoms: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18891699 To contact me with your feedback: info@creatingchoicesdeblang.com To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  ¨    If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    22 min
  2. can you make someone feel happy, sad, . . .?

    MAY 4

    can you make someone feel happy, sad, . . .?

    In my last episode I introduced appeasing and disconnecting and our tendency to swing back and forth between the two. In this episode, I begin looking at how we can change that pattern by examining the belief that we are responsible for how others feel. I share how common this belief is—even our language supports it.why it is so difficult to change.why this belief doesn’t make sense based on the functioning of the brain.Link to Episode 11: "women, epigenetics, and the need to please" https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18891699 Link to episode mentioning the limited role of the eyes in body image: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18732702 To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    23 min
  3. when is it my turn? or, how do I hold on to my needs in relationships?

    APR 27

    when is it my turn? or, how do I hold on to my needs in relationships?

    Do you say “yes” to coffee even when you don’t have the time, or do you worry about saying “no” for fear the person will no longer approve of you? In this episode I tackle the struggle that so many of us face: how to hold on to what we need while in relationships. I introduce the entangled intimacy style I noticed over the years in working with women.the continuum, with appeasing at one end and disconnecting at the other, and why we tend to swing back and forth.the mysterious middle—the place where we can rest from our struggles to be good enough.In my next episode, I begin talking about how to change these patterns by asking the question, “Can we make people happy?” To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    20 min
  4. finding the gift in anxiety

    APR 20

    finding the gift in anxiety

    In my episode, “Stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life,” I shared research supporting a shift in how we perceive anxiety. In this episode I talk about how to make that shift. I share, how anxiety is like a blanket. how peering under the blanket gives us the information we need to deal with our anxiety.strategies for dealing with mobilization in the body, to feel more confident, enhance performance, and lead a meaningful life.how to work with chronic anxiety.Link to previous episode—"Stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life." https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18971115 To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    25 min
  5. how the nervous system is like a baby

    APR 13

    how the nervous system is like a baby

    Would you leave a baby with a wet diaper, miserable and crying, until you have time off? Probably not. Explore how your nervous system is like a baby, and putting off self-care is the equivalent of doing just that, leaving a baby unattended or with a wet diaper. In this episode I share  quick tools for calming your nervous system. ideas for remembering to check in on your needs.using imagery as mental rehearsal for developing a connection with yourself and your needs. To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges. To explore your beliefs about self-care, check out her free guide athttps://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/finding-time-for-self-care/If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how       —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll          down and tap “Write a Review”        —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    20 min
  6. stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life

    APR 7

    stress: the surprising link to higher performance and a more meaningful life

    Most of us believe that stress is bad for us and anxiety something to be feared or avoided. In my last episode I explored misconceptions about anxiety that leave us fearing it. In this episode, I share a look at research supporting how embracing anxiety and stress can benefit our performance.how our view of stress affects our physiology and whether experiencing that stress will be detrimental or life-enhancing. how stress is related to a meaningful life.The studies cited in this episode were described in Dr. Kelly McGonigal's book, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It. To learn more from Deb, Visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges.  If you struggle with feeling good enough, check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval. To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    18 min
  7. is fear of anxiety robbing us of our confidence?

    MAR 31

    is fear of anxiety robbing us of our confidence?

    It’s hard to miss the message that stress is bad for us. We are bombarded with messages about how to deal with stress and to be less anxious. Because of this, it is hard to imagine that anxiety serves a purpose. In this episode, I share  what anxiety actually is and the purpose it serves.how our attempts to control our symptoms signal the nervous system to increase the symptoms we are trying to control. how we often mistake our body’s response to a challenge as something to be feared with disastrous results and reinforcing the belief that anxiety is something to avoid.how I went from feeling defective because of my anxiety to finding joy in helping others with their anxiety.Link to episode on the pressures to be calm: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2590484/episodes/18604027-worried-you-re-not-calm-enough-maybe-you-are-right-where-you-re-meant-to-be.mp3?download=true To learn more from Deb, visit her website at https://creatingchoicesdeblang.com/ for information about her online courses and free info sheets and guides designed to support you as you navigate life’s challenges. check out her book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval.To help other women find this podcast, please consider leaving a review. Here’s how        —on Apple Podcasts: open the app, find this podcast, scroll           down and tap “Write a Review”         —on Spotify: open the podcast page and tap the stars Thank you. Your review doesn’t need to be eloquent, and it will help women discover the show. If you’d like to support the making of Blooming Outside the Lines, you can do so here: ko-fi.com/bloomingoutsidethelines There is no expectation—please do what is responsive to you. Listening and sharing are also meaningful ways of supporting the podcast.

    29 min

Ratings & Reviews

4.5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Blooming Outside the Lines is a podcast for women who have spent their lives trying to be good enough and instead feel tired, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and often guilty about their body size or their eating. If that’s you, you’re not alone and you deserve to be you—even if others disagree.  I’m a licensed psychologist who’s worked with women for over 30 years. I understand how hard it is to relax or take time for self-care, and the deep pull we feel for approval—approval that often defines us. We’ll talk about how the brain and our capabilities change when we ignore our self-care, wait until we have time for it, can’t say no, or fear disapproval. I’ll provide support, encouragement, and practical strategies for building your confidence from the inside out, for stepping into your own truth and blooming into the most radiant version of yourself.  The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not meant to replace the advice of any of your healthcare providers and does not mean we have a client/therapist relationship.