Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless

Lucas Slugworthy
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  • HOME & GARDEN

Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless is a straightforward, no-fluff podcast for people growing vegetables on a UK allotment — especially if you’re not totally sure what you’re doing yet. Each episode gives clear, practical, season-by-season advice on what to sow, plant, fix, or stop worrying about right now. It’s honest, down-to-earth gardening help for real plots, real weather, and real-life time constraints. Expect useful tips, gentle reality checks, and the firm understanding that the slugs have a planning committee, night-vision equipment, and a personal vendetta against your best seedlings.

Episodes

  1. FEB 9

    Bare-Root Fruit Trees: When to Buy, How to Choose, and Long-Term Strategy

    Bare-root fruit trees are one of the best long-term investments you can make on a UK allotment or in a garden. In this episode, we explain what bare-root trees are, when to buy them, and why winter is the ideal time to plant. You’ll learn how to think strategically about tree size, spacing, self-fertility, and long-term placement — without getting lost in technical detail. This is a practical guide to choosing fruit trees that will thrive for years, not just look good on planting day.

    6 min

  2. JAN 10

    Fruit Tree Mistakes That Take Years to Fix

    Some fruit tree mistakes don’t show up straight away — they quietly limit growth, reduce harvests, and create problems that take years to correct. In this episode, we cover the most common long-term fruit tree mistakes made on UK allotments and gardens, from planting in the wrong place and choosing the wrong size tree to pollination errors and pruning problems. A practical guide to getting fruit trees right from the start.

    4 min

  3. JAN 8

    Deciding What Not to Grow This Year: UK Climate Reality Check

    Not every vegetable is worth the space on a UK allotment. In this episode, we make a practical, UK-specific “do not grow” shortlist — crops that often struggle with our cool summers, need too much protection, or take up loads of space for a small return. From sweetcorn and aubergines outdoors to fussy celery, pest-prone brassicas without netting, and carrots in heavy soil, this is a reality check designed to save you time, frustration, and wasted bed space. The goal isn’t to grow less — it’s to grow smarter.

    5 min

  4. JAN 7

    Chilli 4/4 - Harvesting, Overwintering, and Using Your Chillies

    In the final part of the chilli growing series, we focus on what happens after the fruits appear. Learn when to harvest for the best flavour and heat, how to extend the season in the UK climate, and whether it’s worth overwintering your plants. We also cover simple ways to dry, freeze, and preserve chillies, plus tips for saving seeds for next year.

    4 min

  5. JAN 6

    Chilli 3/4 - Common Chilli Problems and How to Fix Them

    In part three of the chilli growing series, we tackle the most common problems UK growers face and how to fix them. From poor germination and leggy seedlings to flower drop, pests, and blossom end rot, this episode helps you read the signs your plants are giving you. With simple adjustments to light, warmth, watering, and feeding, most chilli issues can be corrected quickly, keeping your harvest on track.

    4 min

  6. JAN 5

    Chilli 2/4 - How to Grow Chillies Successfully in the UK

    In part two of the chilli growing series, we focus on the practical steps to raise strong, productive chilli plants in the UK climate. From sowing seeds indoors and managing light, to potting on, hardening off, watering, feeding, and choosing the best growing spot, this episode walks you through the full care routine. You’ll also learn which UK seed suppliers offer reliable varieties suited to British conditions.

    4 min

  7. JAN 4

    Chilli 1 /4 - Choosing the Right Chilli Varieties to Grow in the UK

    Before you sow a single chilli seed, choosing the right variety can make the difference between a bumper harvest and a season of frustration. In this episode, we break down the main types of chilli peppers, explain heat levels in simple terms, and explore which cultivars perform best in UK conditions. From mild kitchen favourites to fiery superhots, learn how to match the plant to your space, your climate, and how you love to cook.

    4 min

  8. JAN 3

    What to Sow in January: Early Seeds to Start Indoors and Under Cover

    January might be cold and dark, but the growing season has already begun. In this episode, we cover exactly what you can sow in January to get a head start on the year. Learn which crops to start indoors in the warmth of your home, and which hardy vegetables can be sown in an unheated greenhouse or cold frame. From chillies and aubergines to broad beans and winter salads, this guide helps you sow wisely, avoid leggy seedlings, and make the most of the earliest planting window in the UK growing calendar.

    4 min

  9. JAN 2

    January on the Allotment: Winter Jobs That Set Up Your Whole Growing Year

    January may look quiet on the allotment, but it’s one of the most important months of the year. In this episode, we walk through the essential winter jobs that build the foundation for a productive growing season. From protecting and improving your soil, to managing compost, tackling weeds, pruning fruit, and planning your crops, this is the slow, steady work that pays off in spring and summer. If you’ve ever wondered what you should be doing on your plot in the middle of winter, this guide will help you make the most of the coldest month.

    5 min

  10. EPISODE 1

    What This Allotment Podcast Is All About

    In this first episode of Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless, Lucas introduces the podcast and what you can expect each episode: clear, practical, season-by-season advice for growing vegetables on a UK allotment — without the overwhelm. This show is for real people with real plots, unpredictable weather, limited time, and plenty of questions. No perfection, no jargon, and no pretending we all know what we’re doing. Just straightforward guidance on what to focus on, what can wait, and how to build confidence as you go. If you’re new to allotment gardening, coming back after a break, or still quietly Googling “when to sow beetroot” every spring, you’re in the right place. Expect useful tips, honest lessons, and the comforting knowledge that the slugs are highly organised and probably plotting already.

    2 min

Trailer

About

Practical Allotment Gardening for the Mildly Clueless is a straightforward, no-fluff podcast for people growing vegetables on a UK allotment — especially if you’re not totally sure what you’re doing yet. Each episode gives clear, practical, season-by-season advice on what to sow, plant, fix, or stop worrying about right now. It’s honest, down-to-earth gardening help for real plots, real weather, and real-life time constraints. Expect useful tips, gentle reality checks, and the firm understanding that the slugs have a planning committee, night-vision equipment, and a personal vendetta against your best seedlings.

Information

  • Creator
    Lucas Slugworthy
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © @2025