See You in Neveruary

calm.

The real story of Pushing on Portals? A collection of communiques, encrypted broadcasts, and transmissions found on a shortwave radio.

Episodes

  1. May 19

    Electromagnetic Epiphanies (7100 khz)

    I grabbed my mic and the MPC I try to reach AwareNess but the static defeats me I'm on 38th by Botanica Yemaya That's when my shortwave starting playing out a choir A woman said can you hear the angels in the static? She smelled of jasmine and ginger aromatic Her accent was spanish, her vibe another planet She said do you know string theory mathematics? I said I went to Denver Public Schools I didn't learn much Then I mopped floors at night I didn't earn much She said turn the dial on your megahertz range She said the first rule is strings and membranes The strings aren't straight they come in different shapes Parabolas and circles interact and relate Type 1 strings, they join and they split Closed strings are like gravity we observe it They attach to sheets we also call em branes  B-R-A-N-E it's not the same Quantum gravity is on the subatomic scale Spacetime pixelated reality is frail Unification of forces the strings tie the imagery Bosons and fermions it's called supersymmetry The universe has cooled it used to have intense heat There's infinite dimensions where inifinite's ends meet There's more than 6 dimensions they're curled up compacted Too small to perceive but they can be extracted In 2009 they hit the particle collider It opened up a mirror universe with no survivors You're hearing ghosts through the static in the radio smog Science sending prayers trying to ratio god Syllables caught between stations the truth I couldn't place it Angels stutter through the AM I listen in amazement Do they speak in the language of snow and vibration? Is interference another word for revelation? Is static heaven breathing, is a clear voice the devil? Are angels frequencies but we can't measure the levels? Is a halo a waveform but we forgot the math? Is the universe a harp, the crackle's strings snapping back? Is this the sound of 10 dimensions when they pluck against 3? Maybe the broadcast's clear but my ears are off key She said listen with your heart adjust your soul's antennae Dimensions rub against consciousness in different grammar She said SETI has satelittes that listen through the night Sometimes we hear things when they forget to mute the mic I leaned a little closer all I heard was a hiss  I understood everything but everything I missed She said my name is Lucia come back and visit me I speak through electromagnetic epiphanies

    3 min

  2. Mar 23

    EnwareNess (15140 khz)

    I fell through the portal and I landed in Denver Walking down Federal it's the same as I remember I walk into McCoys to get my coffee fix I ask the waitress what year it is, she says 2026?  I go to AwareNess's he still ain't home I go to the lab and I can't find my microphone Walking through the city pissed with clenched fists I'm hearing wack beats in the alley what is this? I see a man in a trench coat with he's 5 foot 3 I said give me back AwareNess' MPC He tapped the snare it hit me like a backhand Then he hit the kick I and flew into the trashcan  The dogs were howling cuz his beats had dissonance Sonic warfare, no rhythm it was hideous The sound waves in my head said nice to meet you Every flashback is a lie you agreed to I asked him who he was he said the villain who edits you I never lie, I just install better truths I'm the villain who could change your past with a smile The past is my favorite weapon it's hostile I weaponize nostalgia, I turn it to a loaded gun I could make a dark past feel like a golden one Or replace a good memory with a stolen one  I don't change who you are I just make a colder one You know your higher self, I'm the lower one You know the one, who keeps your mind racing overrun I'm the snake in your mind that makes the rodents run I'm the fear that you have that you'll finally come undone I'm your manic self that feels like the GOATed chosen one When you got your first Anti-Smiles pill I sold you one I'm a supernova of the mind an exploding sun The past isn't broken I hacked it with a coded tongue I make you think you survived something that never happened I'm at every crime scene you could never map it I saw Emit appear with my mic he started rapping He was spitting bars from the past about Starter jackets I told him that his bars were obsolete he can't compete He could do past and future but the present was defeat  I asked him bout a memory the paradox he missed Memory's a story, different pasts coexist Emit dropped the mic and he ran down the alley AwareNess hacked the MPC for the finale The wack beat stopped then he played Pete Rock Doug E Fresh said silence then he hit em with a beat box Dj Premier above the clouds the sky cleared Large Professor, the Mad Scientist is here He couldn't handle the rhythm I saw him grimace and fall Then AwareNess started spinning Pain from Prince Paul He crawled to the sewer and he turned to mist The vapor of the cloud spelled out Enwareness

    3 min

  3. Mar 16

    Portal Fall (11867 Khz)

    I'm falling through the portal, space time ripping at the seams I think I'm in between a hologram and a dream Heart beating like a tambourine, I hear quantum screams Pixels and code, simulations, and machines Nebulae gardens growing stars from seeds Black holes blossom turning stars to smithereens Dimensional entities control it on their screens I fall by my past life and cubicle routines I'm seeing X-Y grids, the holographic matrix My soul time traveling my body is a space ship Am I cosmic dirt just falling through a wormhole? Or a nightcrawler finding out where the turns go? Ice demons burn em all, mid rappers serve em all Portal demons struck out, I hit em with a curveball Time split into hallways I could feel the walls shake Color palate all shades, I tag calm the walls gave Infinite dimensions like mirrors in a mall maze More demons coming and they all wanna play When they say it's all love they really mean it's all hate  I put my hoodie up like it's a fall day They manipulate reality I fall into a false grave Lazarus flow, they all melted like a malt shake I throw em in a guillotine then I serve em all cake That's when the beat dropped I could hear the God pray "What could you say as the Earth gets futher and further away? Planets as small as balls of clay astray into the milky way" Now the world's out of sight I'm a star seed satellite I battle on my high horse you don't have the saddle height I spit prisms scatter light with comets as my acolytes Black hole appetite, demons I atomize Grabbing every mic in sight, Magneto magnetize The demons revitalize back stab spinal knife I hit em with the Bret Hart backbreaker spinal strike Bars like dynamite, metaphors cyanide HP minus sign he's all out of vital signs I let him touch the belt so he could see what the title's like   "This is a lesson if you're guessing and if you're borrowing Hurry, hurry, step right up and keep following the leader"

    3 min
  4. Heartstrings (6754 Khz)

    Mar 9

    Heartstrings (6754 Khz)

    I could feel everything that's a curse a writer has I use the moon as a light as I'm trying to read the diagram Thumb out, looking for a ride and a miracle The way the wind hits the trees somehow it's spiritual Staring at the milky way now I'm feeling lifted  Trillions of galaxies the architect's prolific Walking through the mountains where the rocks rise twisted I could hear the wings of a nighthawk mystic Owls stare at me in the trees vision gifted A wolf howls I hear Darwin in the distance A mountain lion prowls what's survival of the fittest? A bird feeds a hurt deer survival's altruistic Helping each other to survive's coexisting A dead fox in the road society's sadistic? I hear a tenor sax I'm trying to follow where the riff is I spiral in the sound, Giant Steps echo cryptic The map lights up it's in Coltrane's linguistics A truck rolls by but I forgot to hitch it Was it opportunity or divine to miss it? moon light kissing me with dew as the lipstick Walking up the 291 I see smokestacks I'm in Smeltertown where they burned hope at A car pulled over he flashed his lights waiting He said he's heading up to Buena Vista on vacation I put the map in my pocket it was still glowing I need to study the tones, I think they are an omen He had a Mary Oliver book on the dashboard I'm staring at the Big Dipper wondering what it had poured He said that map in your pocket, it can lead to portals? He said look at number 4, the C and B are gorgeous  I asked him who he was, he said Each Step, Wake Up He stopped by Mt. Princeton then he pulled the break up I woke up on the side of the road by the hot springs  I'm trying to read the map, the wind said use your heartstrings The diagram lit up the B was in the river My radio crackled then the portal was delivered

    3 min

  5. Mar 2

    Gas Station Bathroom Epiphany (1500 Khz)

    I crawled out the sand dunes, hitchhiked to Hooper I'm at the UFO watchtower thinking bout my future I walk to the gas station with nicotine lights With dead moths in the plastic so they don't shine bright Piss all over the bathroom and shit on the wall That's when I saw a message tagged on the stall It said if you want to find him I know where he is Meet me at Zapata Falls, your friend Emit I bought some burnt coffee and a stale burrito I started walking east to the Sangre de Cristos I turn on my radio, it's warm with ghosts I try to reach AwareNess but I don't have the volts static and dead leaves, message received  Yesterday's stuck from futures I forgot to meet stars spinning in sky, I'm on an ancient carousel Does time flow backwards in a universe that's parallel? The waterfall whispers I think I'm getting closer The wind howls through the branches, the night's a composer  Behind the waterfall I see yellow eyes Emit He smiles through the mist the deja vu transmits  He greets me with facts I never lived but they still hurt But when I say that they're lies, the truth feels unsure He showed me all the times when I was feeling the worst Like seeing my friend's coffin getting showered in dirt I looked to the trees and I felt their frequencies  I turned my radio off I could hear the bats squeak Ultrasonic waves bouncing off insects Echo reception, I could see with a sixth sense Midnight maps, I could see in the dark now He hid in the shadows but I tracked him like a barn owl He can't function in the now, I trap him in the present I strip away my past and all his future references His weakness was he believed in linear time He remembered my falls but not how I rise Sensory overload he had no time to reframe I accepted his memories and held the shame He said why aren't you resisting my version of you? His power collapsed because conflict's his fuel He panicked cuz memory can't run ahead of reality When you live in the past the present is brutality I felt compassion cuz i saw we were the same I asked who he was before he needed others to blame Mercy he couldn't predict on nostalgia he tripped His silence was the wound I felt his memory glitch I said I think you remember wrong to avoid what you did You can't erase the truth so you always try to edit it you remember me wrong cuz you won't remember yourself He turned into a broken clock and started to melt [AwareNess] Let me see if this works, this stupid f*****g radio has been on the fritz, I think I fixed it let me try, ayo Time, Time, can you hear me?  [Time]  No I can't hear you, what is this? It looks like he had some type of map, looks like the circles of fifths

    3 min

  6. Feb 23

    Emit, The One Who Remembers You Wrong (3363.5 Khz)

    Elegy airwaves descending the stair case The smell of sand and wet wood the narrator narrates No reception all alone life ain't a fair game All the sound stops like a musical chair race  Shadows on the wall I'm spitting bars like bear mace They fall to the ground I shed tears, I guess we share pain A man stepped from the shadows, the shortwave crackle It sounded like history clearing it's throat through the channel He knew my childhood but the colors were off Like a film burning the projector of Time I started to cough Kilohertz migraine my memories are my stains Burning like dry grain, I fight back the sky rains He counters and plants seeds a garden of night shade I write with my left hand, I throw a hook I'm right brained Body slam spine pain, constricting my veins He's inside of my thoughts snapping my serotinin supply chains I asked him who he was he said I'm Abel and like Cain I'm everything you never had, money and high praise With thought I make a biplane, antennae on wide range AwareNess gets through and disrupts him with a side chain Stuck in windows of thought I hope I break the right pane I cross him with a metaphor and dunk for the tie break He said my memory is a shadow that learned how to speak He said I remember all the apologies you'll never receive I'm the reason you hate hope, I make you doubt your pulse I'm the parts of you that broke, the cologne of the smoke The shrapel of insults, the eye at the end of the scope You're fear of losing control, the nightmare that's there when you awoke The bars that don't flow when you forget them at shows I'm the art of the choke, the reason you make art to cope I'm the chicken and the yoke, nothing came first I am both I'm the architect of the code, the server that explodes He said I'm made of all the chances that you never take He said I remember the scream that you swore you'd never make He said you can't forget me I'll remember you instead He said I'm déjà vu, I'm always one step ahead He said I'm that bill that's past due that came when you saved up He said I'm that soul pain, I remember when you gave up He said you don't haunt me I haunt your future defeats I'm a crime scene, I'm the chalk outline of you on the street He said I'm all of your doubts, I'm the demons you fed He said I don't even need to kill you I just remember you dead He said I am the coda I am the end of your songs I'm Time backwards Emit, the one who remembers you wrong

    3 min

  7. Feb 16

    It's nice to say hello (6754 Khz)

    I pick up the receiver and I put it to my ear I hear a static seance but I don't feel any fear The past calls me, but I don't recognize the number I star 69 the past before we had eternal summers Telephone trap door, my astral left through the back door Dwell alone collapse more as time space cracks more Silicon slab floor, simulations of class war Methadone scab sores of friends who shouldn't have more  Heaven knows the sad souls, half mast on flag poles Never flown they crash more, stoned at the glass door Pheromones of black oak, branches cleaning the black smoke Baritone slammed doors, what you hate you attract more Xylophone tap notes making maps from brass chords Saxophone jazz boat, sailing stardust in fast tones Never shown pad strokes, decrypting Coltrane's math notes  Lesser known tadpoles who leap frogged from black holes Never sewn i patched holes, the past is a scalpel With wetter bones I swam ashore, i need to touch grass more Letter code program more, joy exe laugh more Transported to the sand dunes underground I'm in the sands core  I hear a phone ringing like a knock from the past Shadows on the wall the wind sounds like a gasp I see a phone in the corner it's sepia brown yellow I speak into plastic and hear my younger song self say hello

    2 min

  8. Feb 9

    I'll Call you in Neveruary (4600 kHz)

    [AwareNess] Ayo man it's AwareNess It's 2001 and the buildings are still standing, they're still up, even number 7 Two years after 1-9-9-9, Common is still waiting for the bread to leven I skipped church with my moms, she glared at me like I was sinful I started digging in my backyard under Glencoe I digged and I dug I could smell wires burning I digged and I dug, I heard drills churning I saw worms, I saw bones, I chatted with rat folk My feet burned, thought I was alone then saw men in lab coats I tried a door it was locked, I heard the guards coming I heard a boom in a room, bap, the walls were thumping I slid through the door, the computer looked like a moog I hit the keys like herbie, the guard hancocked the rogue His first shot missed and hit the main frame  I put my hands up, smelled smoke then the flames came The wall started twisting, a hole opened, it was a portal I heard a choir yelling, come in and be immortal Yo tell Time, i'll call you in neveruary   [Time] I'm watching Trigun, Aqua Teen, and Johnny Bravo Hoping I could go and make some new tracks with chavo I call up the house and only get a busy signal  I'm thinking he Hulk smashed his phone like Lou Ferrigno  How many double dollars would it take to really solve my problems? Life's a joke that's killing me like Alan Moore in Gotham Last thing L remember AwareNess found a toaster I woke up in my childhood room with Nuggets' posters 25 years in the past but something don't seem right I'm staring at the sun with no pain it doesn't seem bright I drive to AwareNess' but someone different lives there I find a shovel in the backyard and I start to dig there The people came out and said we just called the cops I said I'm looking for my friend he's the only one I got The shovel hit a box I grabbed it and jumped the fence The cops came around the block I ran with no success They tackled me on 35th, everyone was staring The box broke open I heard static and sound blaring I grabbed the shortwave radio the sun started glitching It turned into a lightbulb I was back in my kitchen i found some notes about a song with the sun and the moon I found a channel on the radio, it said i'll call you soon Is this a digital coal mine? Am I a digital canary The telephone rang, it said I'll see you in Neveruary

    3 min
  9. What did the toaster truly beckon? (4625 kHz)

    Feb 2

    What did the toaster truly beckon? (4625 kHz)

    What did the toaster truly beckon? (4625 kHz)

    2 min
  • 9 Episodes

About

The real story of Pushing on Portals? A collection of communiques, encrypted broadcasts, and transmissions found on a shortwave radio.

Information

  • Creator
    calm.
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026
  • Show Website
    See You in Neveruary