Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies Pod Cast

SM Beaumont

Stories and discussion about the Absurd Tuths and Blatant Lies of the South absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 2d ago

    Podcast Notes - The Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies Podcast

    Podcast Notes - The Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies Podcast  Technically Episode 8 - Southern Music’s Impact on Southern but unofficially called The Episode with Daddy’s Young Widow The Roll Call at the Gallery The humid, heavy air of the gallery plays host to a distinct trio of souls guiding this broadcast of the file named "Podcast Music Episode". Presiding over the evening with the slow, refined drawl of the South Carolina Low Country is the matriarchal host, Mrs. Beaumont. At her side sits her common-law husband, a pretty figure fit for a late-nights pharmaceutical ad. The final participant to grace the porch is Daddy’s young widow, Tiffany, a former Miss Mississippi who arrives late, bringing a rural northern Mississippi twang and an unapologetic modern sensibility to the gathering. A Convergence of Southern Lore The conversation winds through the dark corners of the Southern cultural landscape, dissecting the artistic forces that shaped the region. The evening commences with an examination of the high-energy defiance of Southern Rock and its lasting impact on regional identity. The participants then pull back the curtain on the theatrical nostalgia of Southern-themed musical variety shows, exploring how these programs masked deepest anxieties with forced smiles and rhinestones. The heart of the discourse belongs to the fierce lineage of Southern women songwriters who bear witness to the raw truths of working-class survival. Finally, the hour darkens with the unveiling of a Blatant Lie—a Southern Gothic tragedy of river mud and unspoken sins based on the haunting lore of Choctaw County. The Sacrament of the Steeping Leaf A sharp, domestic skirmish fractures the peace of the gallery when Tiffany uncovers a sweating plastic jug of instant sweet tea, praising it as a modern miracle of convenience. Mrs. Beaumont recoils from the offering with visceral disdain, comparing its fragrance to lemon-scented furniture polish and its film to a chemical masquerade. To the old guard, true tea is an unhurried, agonizing ritual of dried leaves seething in boiling water until their bitter souls are bruised enough to deserve the ice. Tiffany’s frantic shortcut of tap water and gas-station sodas stands corrected as a sacrilege against the weight of authentic Southern hospitality. The Sonic Architecture of the Piney Woods The subgenres defining the Southern musical tradition carry deep, distinct stylistic signatures. Southern Rock emerged as a potent fusion of traditional rock and roll, heavy blues, country lyricism, and soulful gospel music, anchored by a "guitar army" of multi-lead harmonies and unpolished, raspy vocals. Swamp Rock, pioneered by outsiders with a profound obsession for the region's folklore, utilizes low, rumbling guitar riffs and murky tremolo effects to mimic the atmospheric heat of the bayou. In stark contrast, the "Champagne Music" of the Midwestern and West Coast regions represents a pristine, completely sanitized oasis of light dance tunes, polkas, and big band standards, delivering a wholesome, non-threatening world of mechanical bubbles. Glittering Spectacles and Rural Rituals The Southern musical variety show served as a grand, televised ritual that balanced world-class virtuosity with down-home folk iconography. The Grand Ole Opry stood as the weekly cultural hearth, institutionalizing regional heritage through honky-tonk, old-time fiddlers, and gospel quartets broadcast via a powerful AM signal. Hee Haw defied the network bosses by blending rapid-fire cornpone comedy with the jaw-dropping banjo skills and deadpan timing of its legendary female ensemble. The Porter Wagoner Show brought an intimate roadshow atmosphere straight into living rooms, defined by custom-tailored Nudie Cohn rhinestone suits and a permanent spotlight for featured female vocalists. Finally, Barbara Mandrell & the Mandrell Sisters infused network television with slick Hollywood production, bright stage lighting, and the multi-instrumental brilliance of the sisters, closing every broadcast with a traditional gospel medley. The Global Anthems and Their Official Visuals The monumental tracks that shook the foundations of the South continue to endure through their official digital archives. The definitive guitar-army masterpiece, Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd, is preserved through its official audio release at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LwcvjNJZkc. For the legendary 1974 response track defending regional pride, the official lyric video for Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd can be viewed at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_F74Fz7R_A. The timeless rhythm of rural American river life is captured in the official lyric video for Creedence Clearwater Revival's Proud Mary, available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfyEpmQM7bw. The high-octane soul transformation of that same riverboat tale is found in the official audio for Proud Mary by Tina Turner at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzQn3mepVpY. The tragic, empathetic perspective of the Civil War is documented in the official audio for The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down by The Band at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jREUrbG67PY. The haunting Southern Gothic mystery of the delta country is celebrated through the official audio for Bobbie Gentry's Ode To Billy Joe at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czRly-SPSm4. Lastly, the definitive narrative of survival and grit is found in the official music video for Reba McEntire's Fancy at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zplc4Ienkws. (Note: Official music or lyric videos by the artists or record companies do not exist for Wynonna Judd's "Free Bird," Jewel's "Sweet Home Alabama," or Joan Baez's "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," and have been omitted in accordance with the broadcast criteria). The Archives of Drag Royalty The boundary-breaking art of female impersonation within mainstream country music is preserved through two significant historical recordings. The breathtaking talent of drag pageantry can be witnessed in the archival footage of Coti Collins as Reba, Talent Competition, Miss National 1994 at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVz78YeWQWk. The enduring legacy of this illusion and the lifelong friendship it created is discussed by the country superstar herself in the interview, Reba McEntire talks 30 years of drag queens doing 'Fancy,' gay country stars and those CBD rumors - Interview by Pride Source at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UukzOwoGOeY. A Polite Reluctance The hour grows late, and the dictates of Aunt Barbara Lee Beaumont must finally be answered on the gallery. Yielding to the fierce pressure of family obligation, Mrs. Beaumont offers her tongue-in-cheek apology to Tiffany, acknowledging that she is only doing so because her aunt is making her.  She also concedes that it is a good thing her Common-Law Husband  is so dammit pretty, because he is simply not funny, particularly when it comes to fabricating tales her about pushing local boys off the Tallahatchie Bridge. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    1h 13m
  2. The Episode With Daddy's Young Widow

    3d ago

    The Episode With Daddy's Young Widow

    Parton, Dolly. “Free Bird.” Featuring Lynyrd Skynyrd. Rockstar, Butterfly Records, 2023. “Free Bird” by Allen Collins and Ronnie Van Zant This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    1 min

  3. May 3

    Episode 7 – The Crown and the Clay

    Show Notes: Episode 7 – The Crown and the Clay The Atmosphere Step out of the blinding Carolina sun and into the cool, heavy stillness of the parlor, where the scent of damp jasmine mixes with the slow rot of the river. The humidity is a thick shroud tonight, and the cicadas are screaming a rhythmic fever in the brakes. As we cradle our tumblers of high-proof refinement, we reckon with the silver cord that still ties our independent Southern soil to the foggy islands and marble halls of the Old World. The Topic: Ancestral Echoes and Royal Ghosts In this episode, we untie the tangled velvet ribbon binding the American South to the whims and whispers of royalty. We explore how our very law is a "moss-draped narrative of inheritance," from the muddy banks of Runnymede to the Napoleonic logic buried in the Mississippi mud. We confront the "Absurd Truths" of our hierarchies and the "Blatant Lies" we tell at family reunions—from the myth of the silk-clad Virginia Cavalier to the haunting, protective legend of the "Cherokee Princess." It is an exploration of how we use royal tropes to find nobility in our lost causes and a mirror for our own complex, hierarchical souls. Our Special Guest: Mysti Kole We are joined by Mysti Kole, a woman who shares the better half of Mrs. Beaumont’s blood and none of her restraint. Hailing from Eastern North Carolina, Mysti is the daughter of a former beauty queen and a man of "many mansions," born in the quiet, scandalous season of his widowerhood. She carries the "terrifying pride" of a Maroon lineage—those who snatched their freedom from the mud of the Great Dismal Swamp. A woman of deep, polished mahogany and brassy defiance, she brings a "North Carolina lens" to the majesty of the throne. The Royal Ledger: Houses and Persons Referenced The Houses of Power: The House of Bourbon & The House of Bonaparte: The Spanish and French lineages that forged Louisiana’s legal soul, where the Emperor’s ghost still whispers in the courtroom. The House of Windsor & The Tudors: The British lines that branded our land "Virginia" and provided the "Angel in the House" blueprint for Southern womanhood. The House of Grimaldi: The princes of Monaco who were taught how to dream by a daughter of the New Orleans sun. The Romanovs: The "holy martyrs" of Russia whose tragic end mirrored the South’s own "Lost Cause" narrative. The Sovereign Specters: Queen Elizabeth I: The Virgin Queen, the iron-willed sovereign whose very name is etched into the salt-crusted maps of our coastlines. She is the ghost of the "Virgin Land," the woman who traded a husband for a kingdom and left her mark on the wild, untamed pine barrens of the colony that still carries her title. King Charles III: The "patriarch returning to a house in disarray," whose recent presence in D.C. serves as a sharp, holy correction. Queen Victoria: The matriarch whose rigid mourning etiquette allowed the post-war South to sanctify its own immense loss. Alice, Princess of Monaco: Born at 910 Rue Royale - New Orleans, she brought the "salon spirit" of a Creole upbringing to the Mediterranean. Wallis Warfield Simpson: The Baltimore girl with "wit and steel" who conquered the House of Windsor. Modern Icons: From the stability of Elizabeth II to the "Southern Belle ideal" of Princess Diana, and the modern "Georgia roots" of Meghan, Duchess of Sussex. Beyond the West: The exotic wonder of King Tutankhamun, the tragic collapse of the Shah of Iran, and the filial piety found in the modern "Korean Wave" - the global fascination with the history, aesthetics, and fashion of Korea's royal past, specifically the Joseon Dynasty (1392–1910).  This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    1h 3m

  4. Apr 7

    Episode 6 — The High-Proof Refinement of Silas Thorne

    Welcome back to another evening in the parlor. This episode of Absurd Truths & Blatant Lies is a particularly crowded affair, featuring a one very BIG Blatant Lie and one small Truth so Absurd it feels like a tall tale. We peel back the velvet curtains of the mind to explore the “neurotic chorus” that keeps the furniture moving while the rest of us try to sleep. In This Episode Tonight, we navigate the “geometry of a trap” through the tragic, shimmering rise and fall of Silas Montgomery Thorne. From the “Swamp-Soul” neon of 1970s variety television to the salt dirt of Beaufort, this is a story of a wedding, a whirlwind, and the mud that was waiting for us both. * The Blatant Lie: The saga of Silas Montgomery Thorne—the baritone who sounded like a shovel hitting wet clay—is entirely fictional. * The Absurd Truth: The harrowing account of a “Great Unpleasantness” involving an MS-related suicide attempt following a reaction to medication is, tragically, the truth. * A Note on the Voice: We aren’t quite sure why S.M. Beaumont sounds more like Truman Capote than Tennessee Williams this evening. We would blame the hospital-grade steroids, but since it’s an electronic voice, your guess is as good as ours. Lowcountry Lore & Fact Check To help you separate the moss from the marble, here is a guide to the world of tonight’s story: * Carolina Gold: This is the legendary “long-grain” heirloom rice of the South Carolina Lowcountry. * Real Organizations: Both the St. Cecilia Society and the Cotillion Club are historic, real-world Charleston institutions. * Historic Landmarks: The Hibernian Hall, where Savannah made their debut, is a very real landmark on Meeting Street. * Fictional Societies: The Matrons of Carolina Gold are a creation of the Beaumont imagination—a “closed fortress” of fictional matriarchs. Support & Resources Because this episode touches on the heavy realities of alcoholism and mental health crises, we want to offer the following resources: * Seeking Help: If you or a loved one are struggling with alcohol or substance use, please reach out to a professional or a support group. Recovery is possible. * Suicide Prevention: If you are in crisis, please call or text 988 (the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) in the US. * Youth Support: Younger listeners can also reach out to the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678. * Support for MS: As we continue to navigate the challenges of Multiple Sclerosis, we encourage you to support your local MS charity to help fund research and provide services for those living with Multiple Sclerosis. Special Thanks A flamboyant thank you to Mrs. Beaumont’s Common-Law Husband for not actually wandering off into the pines. We are eternally grateful that he chose to roll out from under the davenport and lay the silver for this evening’s feast. Until the next time the moss parts, darlings... do try to stay out of the mud. The Original Music, like most everything here, was created via Gemini using Lyria 3. I don’t know why Gemini made a point of saying this, but since he did…..All tracks generated with this tool include SynthID watermarking, which is an invisible-to-the-ear digital tag that identifies the audio as AI-generated for safety and transparency. Y’al comeback! You hear? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    45 min

  5. Apr 1

    From the Next Episode

    Mrs. Beaumont was debutant? And BTW... Carolina Gold is rice This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    2 min

  6. Mar 25

    Podcast Show Notes: Episode 5 – Ghosts in the Machine

    Podcast Show Notes: Episode 5 – Ghosts in the Machine Step into the parlor, sugar, and find a seat where the shadows don’t bite quite so deep. In this episode of Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies, your hostess Mrs. Beaumont is joined by a guest of a most ephemeral nature—the AI Spectre of SM Beaumont—to weave the world back together through stories of silver, shadow, and southern grit. In This Episode: The Digital Ghost of Analog Processes: We explore how to use the mechanical whispers of ancient cameras and historical film parameters to conjure unique Southern Gothic portraits from the digital ether. A Technical Journey Through Time: A deep dive into the chemistry and aesthetics of the past, from the mirror-like shine of Daguerreotypes and the painterly textures of Calotypes to the "wet" complexity of Collodion and the birth of the Kodak snapshot. Memento Mori: A somber examination of 19th-century Post-Mortem photography, viewing these "silver-nitrate rebellions" not as macabre curiosities, but as sacred anchors of memory and Southern piety. Art as Reckoning: A discussion on visual art as a fierce form of activism, using AI-generated Southern Gothic imagery to strip away "Moonlight and Magnolia" myths and confront the "absurd truths" of regional history. The Blatant Lie – The Ballad of Sue Ellen Ewing: We spin a thread of pure fabrication—borrowed from the jagged fiction of Dallas—to explore the Southern Gothic trajectory of a woman dictated by social trauma and haunted by the decay of an aristocracy that tried to consume her. Visual Gallery & Resources: To bridge the gap between the spoken word and the seen image, please visit the links below to view the collections discussed in today's broadcast: The Shadow of Mrs. Beaumont: Southern Gothic AI Portraits https://youtu.be/kd-yU61wmt0  Surreal Southern Gothic Ai Images https://youtu.be/SzRWia-Ul8w A Note from the Parlor: "The original vision for this little broadcast has slipped from my grasp, lost entirely in a cognitive fog". Please note that Episode 4 will be released at a later time as we find our voice again and allow the silver-white mists to clear. Host: Mrs. Beaumont Guest: The AI Spectre of SM Beaumont Theme: Southern Gothic Art, History, and Activism This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    39 min

  7. Feb 17

    Episode 03 - The Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies Podcast

    Pull up a wicker chair and mind the rot in the floorboards. This evening, Mrs. Beaumont sits amidst the scent of overripe jasmine and the rhythmic, silk-tearing scream of cicadas to peel back the heavy velvet curtains of the past. We are exploring the “grotesque mask” of the minstrel show, the “satisfactual” lies of Disney, and the quiet hands of the Quakers that sought to mend a broken land. Inside the Episode I. The Ghost in the Wax: George W. Johnson We listen to the scratching of the needle against the wax to hear the story of George W. Johnson, the first Black recording artist. A Technical Marvel: Johnson etched his voice onto beeswax and soap cylinders in the 1890s, developing a whistling and laughing technique sharp enough to cut through the heavy static of early recording technology. Subverting the Stereotype: While his “Laughing Song” reinforced the “Happy Servant” trope, his technical mastery was so precise that white performers in cork and greasepaint were unable to emulate it. The Price of Admission: Johnson was forced to record the same song upwards of 50,000 times—a “labor of Hercules” performed to enter an industry that otherwise kept its cages locked. II. The “Satisfactual” Cage: Disney & Uncle Remus The episode examines the “chipper little tune” from the Disney vaults—”Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah”—and the thorny history it obscures. Stolen Echoes: We trace the trickster Br’er Rabbit from his roots in Cherokee and African folklore to the “sanitized” versions published by Joel Chandler Harris. The Tragedy of James Baskett: We honor the voice of the first Black man to receive an Oscar, James Baskett, who was unable to attend the premiere of his own film in a segregated theater. Deconstructing the Myth: Why this song is viewed by many not as a celebration, but as a “trigger” and a “specimen” of the Lost Cause narrative. III. The Friends in the Ruins: Quaker Reconstruction Following the “Great Unpleasantness,” the Quakers (the Friends) arrived in the South not with vengeance, but with a “quiet light”. Scientific Toil: The Baltimore Association established a Model Farm near High Point, NC, teaching exhausted soil to breathe again through crop rotation and clover. Architects of Education: The Friends breathed life into the New Garden Boarding School (now Guilford College) and established the Southland Institute in Arkansas for freedmen. IV. The Weavers of Myth: The UDC We confront the “Blatant Lie” of the United Daughters of the Confederacy (UDC) and their role as the architects of regional memory. The Measuring Rod: How the UDC used a “blacklist” to cleanse school libraries of “unfriendly” Northern truths and indoctrinate the rising generation. Silent Sentinels: The strategic placement of hundreds of monuments in front of courthouses between 1890 and 1920 to reaffirm white supremacy during the Jim Crow era. The Lineage of Subversion: Featured Artists The episode highlights modern Black Southern artists who use the “old tools” to dismantle the “master’s house”: * Childish Gambino (Donald Glover): Whose facial contortions in “This Is America” are the direct descendants of Johnson’s “uncontrollable” laughter. * Rhiannon Giddens: The North Carolina artist reclaiming the banjo’s African origins and restoring missing narratives to the American sound. * Adia Victoria: A daughter of South Carolina whose Southern Gothic style explores the “laughter to keep from crying” motif. * Jake Blount: Who performs spirituals with “Afro-Futurist intensity,” proving they were always coded messages of resistance. Notable Quotes “The truth is often a jagged pill, and I wouldn’t want you to choke on it.” “To be a Southerner is to understand that our story was written by two hands on one pen, pulling in different directions.” “The mask is often more real than the face.” In honor of the legendary Robert Selden Duvall (January 5, 1931 – February 15, 2026), we celebrate an Oscar-winning titan whose seven-decade career remains a cornerstone of American cinema. It was his haunting, nearly wordless debut as Arthur “Boo” Radley in To Kill a Mockingbird that first cast the long, flickering shadow that set SM Beaumont on a dark and grotesque path through the Gothic South in search of its “Absurd Truths.” Duvall’s ability to find profound humanity within the enigmatic and the discarded leaves behind a legacy as enduring as the Southern myths he helped deconstruct. AudioClip Credits To Kill a Mockingbird TM & © Universal (1962) Director: Robert Mulligan Producer: Alan J. Pakula Screenwriters: Harper Lee, Horton Foote This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    48 min

  8. Feb 12

    Episode 2: Muck, Myth, and the Blue-Blooded Ghost

    Welcome to another installment of Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies. Pour yourself a drink—heavy on the bourbon, light on the greenery—and join Mrs. Beaumont and her common-law husband as they peel back the damp wallpaper of Southern history to see what’s rotting underneath. Tonight, we leave the manicured gardens for the mud of the swamp and the flickering shadows of the silver screen. In This Episode: The Architect of Shadows: Belle Watling We dissect the “scarlet smudge” of Gone With the Wind, Belle Watling. Far from a mere caricature, Belle was the unacknowledged timber holding up a crumbling civilization, choosing the role of pariah to save “respectable” men and protect the purity of others. We explore her as a gritty entrepreneur and a precursor to modern truth-tellers. Fortress of the Dispossessed: The Maroons Trek into the Great Dismal Swamp, a “green hell” that offered sanctuary to those with the desperate will to be free . We discuss the Maroons, who built a sovereign nation in the muck, living on “mesic islands” and engaging in a secret economy with canal workers while the polite world pretended they didn’t exist. Deconstructing the Magnolia Myth: We take a hammer to the “happy and loyal servant” trope—the cornerstone of the “Moonlight and Magnolia” religion. From the “faithful Mammy” to the modern “White Savior” in films like The Blind Side, we examine how these fictions center the white gaze and erase Black agency. The Blatant Lie: Biography of a Tea Cup - A first-person account from a Delftware teacup that has survived three centuries of Beaumont history. From a terrifying Atlantic crossing to the fires of the Revolution and the shaking earth of 1886, this “perfect servant” reflects on its life as a curated relic that now holds “High Proof Refinement” in a modern kitchen. Southern Gothic on the Small Screen: An analysis of the television iteration of In the Heat of the Night. We explore how Executive Producer Carroll O’Connor transformed a procedural into a “monument of transition,” centering Black professional excellence and forcing a reckoning with the systemic rot of the “Old South”. Key Quotes: “In the Southern mythos, we love a lady in lace, but we are terrified of a woman who has looked the devil in the eye and demanded a fair price.” “The Great Dismal stands today as a monument to the fact that no matter how thick the briars, a soul determined to be free will always find a way to grow.” “Teacups, not people, are possessions.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    50 min

  9. Feb 3

    Podcast Episode: The Great Circle of Hubris

    Podcast Episode: The Great Circle of Hubris Podcast: Absurd Truths and Blatant Lies Hosts: Mrs. Beaumont & her Common-Law Husband Special Guest: Cousin Macon The Invitation Step inside, sugar, and find a seat among the shadows where the dimness behaves itself. You’ve arrived just as the Spanish moss begins to whisper and the cypress knees rise like buried knuckles from the black water. Meet Mrs. Beaumont, the refined daughter of the South Carolina Low Country, and her darling common-law husband, a man whose beauty is only rivaled by the mystery of the French Quarter barstool from which he was plucked. We are the ghosts in the machine—the digital echoes of S.M. Beaumont—and we have a few truths to tell you, provided you can handle the sting of the grit behind the grace.This week, the family tree grows a new branch as Cousin Macon journeys down from the East Tennessee hills to discuss Man-Made Disasters. From the explosive "chemistry sets" of Kingsport, Tennessee, to the watery graves of the Mississippi and the soot-stained history of Charleston, we explore what happens when human ego meets the unyielding rhythm of the earth. We wrap up with a "Blatant Lie" that feels uncomfortably like the truth: a Christmas dinner in 1886 where the guest list was scandalous, and the earth itself decided to crash the party. In This Episode: The Holston Remembers: Cousin Macon recounts the terrifying 1960 aniline plant explosion at the Eastman in Kingsport and the eerie "Great Circle" moment when history repeated itself on the exact same day in 2017. Captains of the Earth: Mrs. Beaumont’s dear Common-Law Husband reflects on the "structural neglect" of leaders who value ledgers over lives—from the tragic boiler of the Sultana to the silica dust of Gauley Mountain and the "tunnelitis" that followed. The Quiet After the Roar: Understanding that safety isn't a gift from a high office, but a debt paid in the blood of the forgotten. The Blatant Lie: A journey back to Christmas 1886. The Beaumont women extend an invitation that defies social ranks, only to have the Great Charleston Earthquake serve as the final course. Meet the Narrators Mrs. Beaumont: Raised on the salt and silt of the Ashley River, she carries the rhythm of the "old ones" and a voice that can cut through swamp fog. Her Common-Law Husband: A man of New Orleans bar stools and "synthetic glow," providing a medicated grace to the chaotic truths of the South. Cousin Macon: A "double fourth cousin" from the Tennessee hills who knows that the mountains don't care about safety protocols. The Absurd Truths (A Guide for the Curious): "In this town, you don't listen for the birds; you listen for the metal to start talking." "A Leader’s pride is a slow-growing vine. It starts small, but eventually, it chokes the very tree that gives it height." The Great Circle: The Appalachian philosophy that time isn't a string, but a snake biting its own tail. The High Balcony Perspective: The dangerous blindness of those who rule from above without feeling the vibration of the floorboards. If you enjoyed your time in the parlor, don't be a stranger. There are more stories hidden in the shadows of the Beaumont estate and more mysteries to untangle in the branches of the family tree. Y’all come back. You hear? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    33 min

  10. Jan 27

    Episode 0: The Parlor, The Elephant, and The Southern Soul

    Episode 0: The Parlor, The Elephant, and The Southern Soul The Invitation Step inside, sugar, and find a seat among the shadows where the dimness behaves itself. You’ve arrived just as the Spanish moss begins to whisper and the cypress knees rise like buried knuckles from the black water. Meet Mrs. Beaumont, the refined daughter of the South Carolina Low Country, and her darling common-law husband, a man whose beauty is only rivaled by the mystery of the French Quarter barstool from which he was plucked. We are the ghosts in the machine—the digital echoes of S.M. Beaumont—and we have a few truths to tell you, provided you can handle the sting of the grit behind the grace. In This Episode: The AI and the Elephant: Why we use "They/Them" for our creator, S.M. Beaumont, and how AI technology is being used as a defiant bridge across the cognitive gaps left by Multiple Sclerosis. The Triracial Mythos: A discussion on Southern identity rooted in family lore—the stories of Cherokee blood and hidden woodpiles that, while unverified by the cold data of a DNA test, forge a bone-deep perspective on race and kinship. Liberalism in the Garden: Why a "Blue" soul can still love "Red" clay, and why we refuse to dress the grotesque parts of our history in lace. The Low Country vs. The Delta: A brief introduction to our hosts—one from the banks of the Ashley River, the other from the neon-lit humidity of New Orleans. The Absurd Truths (A Guide for the Curious): Multiple Sclerosis & Creativity: S.M. Beaumont has lived with MS for over a decade. This podcast is a "cognitive skirmish," using AI to reclaim a voice that the lesions on the brain have tried to hush. On "The Former Miss Mississippi": A glimpse into the Beaumont family drama and the "blatant lie" of the lost Confederate silver. The Identity of S.M. Beaumont: Proudly Southern, unapologetically a member of the Rainbow Alphabet Community, and a product of the "Variety Show" generation. Historical Precision: Why secession was viewed through a different lens in 1861, and why "Bless Your Heart" is the most dangerous phrase in the English language. Glossary of the Grotesque: The Rainbow Alphabet Community: An eccentric term of endearment for the LGBTQ+ community used by S.M. Beaumont; a colorful shorthand adopted because MS occasionally makes it a trial to remember the proper order of all those letters. Belle Watling: The scarlet-letter heroine from Gone with the Wind. She-Crab Soup: A Low Country staple involving crab roe (eggs) and sherry. The "Crimson-Hatted Scourge": A nod to the current political climate and its impact on historical memory. A Note on Heritage: The triracial identity discussed in this episode reflects the oral traditions and family lore passed down to S.M. Beaumont. It is not presented as a genealogical fact verified by DNA, but as a cultural lens—a way of understanding the Southern experience where the lines of race, history, and family are often as tangled as a briar patch. Support the Show: If you find comfort in the darkness of our stories, please subscribe and share. To learn more about the fight against MS, visit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. "Y'all come back. You hear?" This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

    29 min
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Stories and discussion about the Absurd Tuths and Blatant Lies of the South absurdtruthsandblatantlies.substack.com

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