Reflections of Evelyn

Evelyn Slater-Shew

3.0 (2)
Self-Improvement

This show is for real people who feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused by modern life. Through honest, no-filter stories and reflections, I talk through real experiences, relationships, and the things we are all quietly thinking about. The goal is not to tell you what to do, but to help you feel less alone, think for yourself, and move through life with more clarity and confidence.

6d ago

Unconditional Love: A love Note For Guido & Claudia (Federico Fellini’s 8½)

This week's episode will be a part of a two week series on relationships & the many forms it takes in our hearts, brain & stomach. For the last almost six years, I have been what you kids like to call, “No Contact”. He is not dead, he can reach out to me any time, but he is on his own journey and for whatever reason, [God] intended us to stay apart. I held on for a very long time. As hard as I could. I am the most driven, determined, loving, and fearless people I know, & I will and do handle anything you throw at me because I had no choice in that matter. But losing him was excruciating to say the least. Only horrifically bad things happened to me when we separated & I should be dead several times over & no matter what he says or does, I love him. I had to go through my own journey of learning how to grieve & heal without him & for me that looked like acceptance. The journey of separation has been long; & periodically throughout the years I have sent him messages, mainly to Whatsapp to see if the messages were “seen” & “played” and although I do not work for Whatapp or have those connections, to my knowledge & several spiraled rabbit holes, I do believe he saw/played, every message. No response. Losing him at the time was needed to spark my own growth & work on myself, but it is a fine line of losing what meant the world to me in order to find that self love. I wish every day that he comes back & we can speak again, to reconcile, or maybe closure for both of us, but even if that day never comes, I will continue to live life, with or without him. Those were the cards I was dealt. And one of my best friends who I dated in the past told me, “We could never work out because I always knew your soul was bound to someone else”. That hurt. Because finding a romantic life without him feels like cheating on him, but staying alone feels unfulfilled. I only hope you find some solace in this episode as it has been 54 days since I sent him this message & I need/have to stick to it.Loving someone who does not know what they want & need out of their life, who avoids any chance they can get, is beyond painful. But it is real & it is relatable to many of you. All we have is the space, time, and truth in between the heartbreak & the moving on, whatever that looks like for you. I have a memory of being a young girl who dared to dream of being on the Amazing Race Reality TV show for over two decades and we made a short, silly, pretend video on his phone of what our story would be & why they should pick us for the race when we went on on a hike together. Or when he forced me to face my biggest fear on the planet at the time which was, SNAKES, and he took me on a hike with more SNAKES than I had ever seen in my entire life, sunbathing in the middle of the trails looking all terrifying& a lizard went through my legs & a snake rushed after it & got so close to me that I Scooby Doo’ed into a sharp Yucca plant & I stubbed my toe & the doctor said if I came any later to remove the needle I could have died from an infection. Or one time I was at his cozy studio and he had a conference call he needed to attend in under ten minutes and we were busy making passionate love and I said something along the lines of, “Are we good? Don’t you have to go?” He looked down at his Apple Watch, kept going, and said, “We still have a few more minutes”. I thank him for what he showed me about myself, about love, & about strength and resilience. To know that I can overcome all obstacles, just by having once known him in my heart. But I had to learn a different kind of love. A love that was not selfish and a love that was beyond me & all my knowledge and power. And that was to let go, and let be. To love him in the way he knows love to be. So I said my good-bye. Here are the last words I ever said to him in this episode.
Aug 7

Playa Del Carmen, Tulum, Chichén Itzá, and Cancún (Part 2)

This week's episode concludes the first season of Reflections Of Evelyn! Whoohoo! I am beyond grateful to each & every one of you who engaged and listened from all over the world. It truly is an honor to be a part of this journey with you. Like most of you, we have no idea where our lives will end up or how. For better & for worse. My friend told me yesterday when I was stressing out about a flat tire, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." and I was also reminded of what my therapist likes to say, “Well what if it all works out?”. We may think we do not have a lot of control in our lives, but we can alter our perspective, while still living in reality. I can hope that one day this podcast will turn into paid flights around the world where I get to meet incredible people & speak life and inspiration into the lives of others, or maybe even get to the point where I can cover my podcast expenses. Maybe I will meet like minded friends & lovers along the way from active engagers. Maybe none of that will happen and this will be a diary of sorts for my future self. There is only one way to find out. Whatever ends up happening, I am here for it all and I thank you for joining me. If you happened to send me a friend request on my IG page, go ahead and send me a DM so I don’t think you are a bot or trying to scam me. For anyone paying attention, it was the Olmecs I was talking about in this episode who ruled before the Mayans! & lastly, if you were in my generation growing up in school in the early 90s in America, do you remember what we were taught about the Native Americans & the Pilgrims and how they were all one big happy family & everyone got together to share the land & eat yummy food during Thanksgiving? Well, wasn’t that a shocker years later when we found out that was not true & we were all lied to by our teachers. Gulp. & cursive! Ha! Just goes to show you, we don’t know everything & maybe we should try not to claim to. Not to go on a tangent which you know I love doing, but my neighbor told me to watch this movie called Transcendence with Johnny Depp & it was all about AI & playing God & this movie came out in 2014 which was before technology really started to consume our lives & we really knew anything about AI. He rang my door bell as my lights were out for the night & he said, “Yes! You were right! Elon Musk was in the crowd for that movie”. I semi enjoy going down rabbit holes with him when I can mentally handle it because I like to believe in infinite possibilities, how else can we dare to dream and create our own “magic”? But I think it is fascinating that he played a small cameo, they just slipped him right in there, & may I mention, it was uncredited. Almost to say, if you know, you know. If you don’t, here is what is coming. One of the lasting impressions I had before I left the entertainment industry was when a script writer told me, “You write about what you know”. So when I produced a film back in the day about incest, I knew it was time to get a divorce & listen to myself more often, eheh. History does not need to repeat itself. We can start over and forge an entirely new path for our lives. We do not need to do as others do or not do. We don’t know what is in store for each of us or how long we have to thrive, destroy or take over, but we can make the most of our present time. Just a reminder, you have not met all of the people who are going to love you. I am here with you, I am connected to you, & I hope going forward for all of us, we can all choose to be better humans. ⁠buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn⁠
Aug 1

Playa Del Carmen, Tulum, Chichén Itzá, and Cancún (Part 1)

You really don’t know anything until you travel and see/experience it for yourself. Just know, you take all your issues and baggage with you too. I was very envious for many years of some of my family members who got to travel to many countries with my favorite cousins and I was always left out. This time, a dream came true and I got to experience an unforgettable trip with them as we rented a car and drove all around the touristy areas. I was very skeptical about visiting cities like Playa Del Carmen, Tulum, Chichén Itzá, and Cancún because of them being tourist traps but as my cousin eloquently put, “Tourists go there for a reason. They don’t go to places you would not want to see”. He was not wrong. It was incredibly beautiful. Stay tuned for the final episode of the season next week where I leave you in Mexico for Part 2. Grab your margaritas, your Mezcal, and let's turn up the romance in Mexico before we go back to reality! If you like this channel and wish to support my editor and I, sponsor and ad free, please find the link below as I just created a Buy Me A Coffee Page! You can also find a donation section under "Love and Support" on my RSS feed here: https://rss.com/podcasts/reflections-by-evelyn/ Follow the duck & Evelyn on her adventures and journeys @ducklifeproductions Song links!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/evelynslatershew/songwriting-days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn⁠ Keywords: contrarian thinker, accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, hiking, solo hiker, adventure, solitude, isolation, optoutside, journey, destination, socal, mountains, individual, thinking, contrarian thinker, philosophy, self development, growth, awareness, reflections, reflections of evelyn, meditation, producer evelyn, stream of consciousness, writing, producing, blogs, journaling, mindfulness, yogi, spiritualism, flora, relationships, inspiration, encouragement, peace, joy, love, art, humans with a pulse, real life, no filter, authenticity, raw, moving, story telling, eco friendly, economy, subjective, abstract, online dating, sex on the first date, US, UK, Russia, Poland, Canada, China, Spain, Morocco, France, Italy, Los Angeles, California, Long Beach, accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, canada, protection, hiking, solo hiker, adventure, solitude, isolation, optoutside, journey, destination, socal, mountains, capitalism, united states, america, individual, thinking, philosophy, self development, support, guidance, beauty, unknown, canada, russia, uk, poland, united states, rom coms, action, drama, conspiracy theories, religion, Playa Del Carmen, Tulum, Chichén Itzá, and Cancún, Mexico, traveling, social media, make up
Jul 24

Maybe It Will Be Okay. Maybe.

I had some pre-flight and travel jitters when trying to prepare for my flight to Cancún, Mexico with a connecting flight from Leon. Wherever that was. My last big trip out of the country was in 2019 when I went to Egypt and a lot has changed since then for me. I had to trust a neighbor with my keys, pay him and an old friend to feed my cat and take me to the airport, and truly learn how to let go. It was really hard for me to leave everything behind and allow myself to have fun when I don’t collect PTO or sick days. I was stressing really hard to have a good time and relax. Things were totally different since the last time I was at LAX Airport but the moment I arrived, I found some peace and allowed myself to relax a little. This was my first time doing a super budget plane ride and note to all of you, pay for the nicer flight with leg room. Especially if you are taking a red eye and hoping to get some sleep. No nuts, no water, no service, no nothing. And two days into my trip I got some sort of summer flu from my plane ride. Next week's episode will dive into what actually went down in Mexico and how different your experience can be when you get out of your head and listen to friends, family and critics advice and warnings. Traveling allows you to think bigger, bolder, and brighter. You drop into a place with new faces, different cultures, different lives being lived and I don’t know about you, but put your newspapers, magazines, social media, and news away folks because that is just a form to keep you scared and away from living your life. My neighbor who was watching my cat sent me an article while I was in Mexico with my cousins, telling me to be careful of the giant earthquake that was plaguing Mexico, and I was like, “What Earthquake? Bro….I am fine. But thank you for your concern. Now put the phone down.”. Follow the duck & Evelyn on her adventures and journeys @ducklifeproductions Song links!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/evelynslatershew/songwriting-days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn⁠ Keywords: contrarian thinker, accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, hiking, solo hiker, adventure, solitude, isolation, optoutside, journey, destination, individual, thinking, contrarian thinker, philosophy, self development, growth, awareness, reflections, reflections of evelyn, meditation, producer evelyn, stream of consciousness, writing, producing, blogs, journaling, mindfulness, yogi, spiritualism, flora, relationships, inspiration, encouragement, positivity, news, journalism, politics, trends, trending, responsibility, accountability, peace, joy, love, art, humans with a pulse, real life, no filter, authenticity, raw, moving, story telling, subjective, abstract, picture this, documentary, creative, talk therapy, support, guidance, UK, Russia, capitalism, individual, thinking, philosophy, self development, growth, Mexico
Jul 16

SEX, Politics, Religion, and Conspiracy Theories…

…you know, all the stuff you “shouldn’t talk about” insert grinch gif Movie mentioned in this episode “Lord Of War” ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXgyoER0aRc⁠ ^Because who doesn’t love Nicolas Cage right? I swear a version of this movie is completely true. …The word I could not remember when describing how wonderful love making could be was…SEROTONIN! I don’t know about your friends and family network, but there are some topics you just don’t want to bring up around a dinner table or maybe ever. Or maybe with people you just started dating. Or maybe just not, so soon. Unless you plan on being argumentative about it, I don’t see anything wrong with sharing your opinion as long as we are allowing other people to have their opinions too and in the same way we share them. We are all right, and all wrong I like to say. There is not one singular person on this planet Earth, who knows it all and holds the right to tell other people how to think or feel, it truly is up to you to decide what feels right in your bones and how you want to take that information in your own life. Maybe I grew up on too many James Bond, Indiana Jones, Superman and Terminator movies to not have an opinion on these topics. If I go around in my head pretending/believing I am my own character in a film as I take on my day at any given moment, I am in an episode of Handmaid's Tale, or a scene from “Lord Of War” or “Law Abiding Citizen”. Maybe throw in a little bit of “He’s Just Not That Into You”, “Sweet Home Alabama” or "Armageddon". Oh wait! And “Independence Day”, “Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy”, 8 ½, Choke (2008), Frasier, Buffy, Smallville, Seven Psychopaths, and “Mr. Right”. Basically, I can list those movies and tv shows and that pretty much sums up my entire personality. I hope today, whatever time of day you are enjoying this episode, that you remind yourself to show yourself some grace, love, compassion, and constantly remind yourself that you do not need to be a cog in the wheel, a rat in the race, you are not just a number, and you deserve to have some fun and laughter in your life. You may be having a bad day, but there are ALWAYS good days ahead. Let this be one for you. buymeacoffee.com/producerevelyn Follow the duck & Evelyn on her adventures and journeys @ducklifeproductions Song links!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/evelynslatershew/songwriting-days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Keywords: accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, isolation, optoutside, journey, contrarian thinker, growth, awareness, reflections, reflections of evelyn, writing, producing, blogs, journaling, encouragement, story telling, talk therapy, support, journalism, politics, trends, trending, sci fi, rom coms, action, drama, conspiracy theories, religion
Jul 9

It’s All In Your Head! Chill Out!! Labels!!!

We are finishing up our Road Trip to Fresno. If you didn’t catch the last episode, “What Is A Predator?” make sure to check that one out before continuing with this one. This morning, the dude I recently started dating, bought me a breakfast burrito because I bought him a special meal last night for all of his hard work and efforts he has been putting into his new career lately. He said, “What was I gonna do? Get myself something and not you”? All I could process out of my mouth was a whimper and I said, “ But where are the hash browns?” My brain's thoughts were trying to comprehend what was happening in real time. I thought to myself, You got me a breakfast burrito without sausage? No potatoes?? Why is he spending money on me when he needs to be saving money? That’s why I treated him yesterday. All of this was happening in my head as I was spiraling, withdrawing from nicotine again and frantically looking for my keys which are always in the same place yet somehow with a new presence around, this time they were not in their usual spot. My dude and I go roughly 1-2 weeks without seeing each other each month because we are long distance, and sometimes he comes over and spends 2-3 days with me to make up for the time apart. We are both trying to get used to spending time with someone else when we are used to doing "life" alone. Later that day I started whining at him because work has been slow again so I couldn’t afford to pay him for any luxuries to wash my car because it has been trashed since before I bought it. From all of my purchased car washes from when I was a ride share driver, never touched the damage of the polar bear-like dog who basically lived in the car with the previous owner when they went on joy rides together. Of course the dealership thought the car was “cheap” enough to not detail it properly before selling it to me.I had been bugging him to bring his tools and supplies over so he could work on my car the last few weeks and I felt so guilty to afford such a luxury when it was not feasible with the current economic situation i was in. I told him I was so sorry for nagging him about it and making such a big deal about how I needed it done and he said, “I won’t do the whole car but I got you. Don’t worry about it.” An hour into his cleaning, I brought him down some tea and to check on his progress to see if he needed some help because I could not imagine what was taking so long as I have a tiny car. I came down to the garage and one seat out of five, was done. I could not believe how meticulous and diligent he was being on the seats and I was completely and utterly speechless because the difference was beyond night and day. An eleven year old car essentially looked brand new to me, I could not believe it. I went back and forth to get him some water for his machine and kept pestering how I could help as I found myself feeling so guilty for wanting something that was so labor intensive, and for free. He did not finish until around 10:30pm. He came back into the house and face planted on my bed and did not want to move. He didn’t give me a guilt trip, didn’t ask for payment, didn’t expect anything in return, he just asked if I was happy with the results. I always have something to say and this time was speechless. This was literally a labor of love. My car smells new, fresh, and you can see patterns that weren’t there before. It was beyond a gift to me. I am still getting used to getting out of my head, bouncing thoughts and ideas off of someone, holding my own while sharing space with another, but this is my first opportunity to start over again and try things differently this time. It takes time though and trials and efforts, to undo the previous hurt and pain and pre conceived notions of how life or people are, should or ought to be. To get out of your own way and believe in fresh starts and new beginnings and different paths.
Jul 3

What Is A Predator? Religion, Adolescence, and Coming Of Age

When I was in junior high, I had a best friend at the time who gave me my very first girl kiss in the jacuzzi of her hot tub and later she broke it off as friends because I guess she thought I was too religious and wouldn’t understand or accept her, but hey, I was there for it. And one day, her dad treated us to a getaway at some fancy Westin resort near Palm Springs and it was just me, my best friend, her dad and her brother. Her brother was some sort of “special”. I don’t know what you would call him these days but he had a difficult time controlling himself and spoke in a particular way. After an afternoon at the pool, my bestie and I went back to the hotel and took a nap. Her older brother was near me in the room and he reached under the covers and started touching me. As girls often are, I was shamed for bringing it to the adults attention when I got home and they chalked it up to him being special, he didn’t mean it, and maybe that didn’t really happen. In that same family dynamic, my friend's mom had a male friend who was her gigolo of sorts and we always hated that guy. He was a creep. He always tried to make it seem like he was one of us. He wasn’t. My mom would ask him to come over to the house sometimes to work on house projects; like paint our f*****g kitchen pink and purple with gold sparkles. God, it was horrendous growing up with that f*****g kitchen. But I always told my mom how uncomfortable I was with him being there, that he did not have good intentions whenever my mom left the room. But my mom thought I was being harsh and dramatic and had her own intentions for him being there, so she let it slide. Thankfully for me, he only attempted to make advances and said a lot of things he shouldn’t. I always hoped nothing happened to my gf though. She ended up becoming non-binary and he became transgender. Go figure. There was another time in college when I went to the school doctor for help about some female problems I was having and the doctor said he was gonna “try to help me out” and I’m pretty sure it’s for reasons like what went down in that room that they always have nurses join in now and leave the door open. Us pioneers gotta lead the way, right? I remember being impacted by it shortly after graduation time and I reported it to the cops but they said because I was in a different city when I called it in, they couldn’t file a claim for me unless I went back to the scene of the crime. I thought that was bologna and that's probably where my issues started with cops back then. I think the only reason why I graduated was because my mom threw enough of a stink about what happened that day in the doctors office that they gave me a pass because I couldn’t pass my math classes. Algebra freaking 2 you guys. I always sucked @ math. I hope that’s not why I was able to graduate. I hope not. To end on a lighter note, at the tail end of turning almost 22, I worked a security guard job and worked my first shift at Oz Fest in Orange County where the good ole Ozzie Osborne was performing and my allergies were so bad that I asked to be relocated from the dusty back side of the festival and they stuck me in front of the catering booth where I met the love of my life. He was 14 years older than me. A voice from behind me offered me a brownie,and I turned around to see where the voice was coming from and my life was forever changed from that point forward. I love you forever, Guido. Love always, Claudia. Claudia: I don't understand. He meets a girl that can give him a new life and he pushes her away? Guido: Because he no longer believes in it. Claudia: Because he doesn't know how to love. Guido: Because it isn't true that a woman can change a man. Claudia: Because he doesn't know how to love. Guido: And above all because I don't feel like telling another pile of lies. Claudia: Because he doesn't know how to love. -Federico Fellini's 8½
Jun 27

Avoidance + Communication = Clarity & Relief

Recently, I received a very big gift, or one I thought was very big as it was consuming my mind a little bit and making me anxious. My sliding glass door and screen was a bit old school and would not lock or shut properly allowing flies to come in and with Long Beach, you never know who wants to jump onto your balcony and I wanted to make sure my door would lock so I could feel safe. I had one general contractor come over and tell me it was a $250 job to align the doors and lock it properly. I had a friend of mine who said he wanted payment but kept putting it off until we got into an argument about it and now he isn’t speaking to me, and I myself, went to Ace Hardware, removed the handle and showed the handle bar and a video to the store manager and he said I needed to remove the doors, which he said was a two person job, grease and or replace the wheels and maybe then could it be fixed. Being a home owner on my own can be pretty expensive and stressful at times so I try to get help where I can but kept getting frustrated that I could not fix this door issue. Needless to say on my 4th attempt, I asked this guy I am newly dating if he could look at it for me and I would pay him. I told him what a feat it was for me, causing me a giant headache, and just wanted to feel comfortable not worrying about my lock and door. He told me the next time he came out my way, he would look at it. He ended up spending a few nights with me and on the last day before we hit up the beach he said, “Remind me to look at your door before we go. I looked at it and it will only take me like ten minutes”. I told him that he was lying and it could not have been that simple as everyone was making it sound like climbing Mount Everest, and my closest friend who prides himself on fixing anything and everything could not get around to it or be bothered. He said, “Gimmie a hammer”. I gave him a hammer. 10-15 minutes later, it was done. I had my jaw open the entire time just staring at him going to town on my door. When he finished, I said, “How much do I owe you?” He said, “Don’t worry about it, maybe buy me some chips or something.” I said, “What?! Chips?! A blow job isn’t even good enough for what you just did for me. I need to do better than that. Are you sure?”. He was serious. We went to the beach and I got him some chips and he was a happy camper acting like it was not a big deal. I was legitimately shook for about a half hour. I explained to him what I am telling you now and he just shrugged it off. I think you understand the moral of the story here. How grateful I was to be freshly dating someone who not only did what they said they were going to do, did not make me feel like a pile of crud about it, and did not choose to take advantage of the situation. I was blown away by what a great man that was in front of me. When I started dating this guy, it was rough for a few weeks. Not that I am a big fan of using the words “we are both scorpios” but you get my drift. We but heads a lot, we both want to be right, and we both misunderstand what each other is saying often. But we worked through our first fight recently. I kept thinking, this man was not expecting to meet me and he surely was not expecting to date anyone any time soon, he was just looking to “connect”, whatever that means these days. But we met, and after about a month started dating and what I see is a man who does not have it all figured out, does not know how to get to everywhere that he wants to be, but is willing to put in the work, try, and show effort. It is honestly so beautiful and refreshing to me. I have dated some guys in the past that have the established life, the high paying jobs, and could not communicate or show effort to save their own life. Besos everyone. Hang in there.

3

out of 5

2 Ratings

This show is for real people who feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused by modern life. Through honest, no-filter stories and reflections, I talk through real experiences, relationships, and the things we are all quietly thinking about. The goal is not to tell you what to do, but to help you feel less alone, think for yourself, and move through life with more clarity and confidence.

Creator

Evelyn Slater-Shew
Years Active

2026
Episodes

30
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Duck Life Productions INC
Show Website

Reflections of Evelyn