Reflections of Evelyn

Evelyn Slater-Shew

3.0 (2)
Self-Improvement

This show is for real people who feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused by modern life. Through honest, no-filter stories and reflections, I talk through real experiences, relationships, and the things we are all quietly thinking about. The goal is not to tell you what to do, but to help you feel less alone, think for yourself, and move through life with more clarity and confidence.

1d ago

Cannabis: An Honest Conversation With A Friend

I love my friends so much, and this guy in particular has a special place in my heart because I have known him for almost a decade now. We lived together as roommates during a big transition in our lives, and we even met working together. He and I are cut from similar cloths, both crazy and both trying to figure out this thing called “life” together. Coincidently we are going to a gallery opening in downtown Los Angeles together in a few hours. He made a joke to come be gay and joyous and maybe I would meet the love of my life. Although I stopped looking or fantasizing meeting someone when I go out, the sentiment was appreciated and I am just going to spend time with my friend, enjoy some art, and of course come for the cheese and wine. It did take a phone call to ask him if he had heard it, and he said the words out loud to me from his transcribed message as he refuses to listen to audios, but he added some great commentary going line by line with me about how I was feeling. I am glad he still sees the vibrant woman I am today and doesn't just see my clouded, judgemental, internal thoughts when I am down. It took me two hard attempts to quit cannabis and I have been sober from it for three years now. I miss it often, but it does not replace the stillness and hard work it takes to go through your thoughts that you will always have unless you work at it daily. I was one of the first people to admit I had a problem with cannabis and suffered a pretty low blow from paranoia to heightened depression and anxiety, to the catalyst that set off a drug induced psychosis. I suppose if you do not have a family background of trauma and drug use, and don’t over it, cannabis could seem harmless for some, but for me with the daily consumption I was taking to cope, it kept me in a state of “high” where I was certain at the time that reality could not be dealt with, without it. The second and last time I got off of cannabis, I was trying to ween off to work a government job I was working at the time and I thought I was going to die. I could not handle “life” without it. The withdrawals were unbearable and the mental belief that life wouldn’t be as colorful without it was very hard to bear. But ultimately I knew that if I wanted a healthier life, I needed to get off my ass and my silly stoner beliefs and do something about it. I will admit you have a lot more time on your hands when you aren’t in another dimension at all times. I still wish that I could partake on the rare occasion, for fun but what kept me sober in the beginning was knowing that I could never take back the harm I caused while being on it and some people I would never have back in my life. Ironically, this friend always reminds me to never say “never”. That people can and do come back, but when I quit I needed something unshakable to keep me off of it until I was able to stand on my own two feet without it. I was in the cannabis industry for almost four years and I loved the community and the camaraderie of it all, but a lot of those people were sad inside and many did not want to work through their pain. When I left the industry I had a conversation with a big distributor one time and he said, “the goal in cannabis sales now, was to make the most potent stain at any cost.” They had lost a lot of the art in the flower itself and became more widely popular as a drug that sends you to outer space to forget reality for a while rather than a nice calming effect to take the edge off. Let’s not even go into how mass retail cannabis is stored, cared for, or additives they have to promote constant growth and reselling. I do miss the giggles, the vibrancy, the fun cravings and honestly, how horny it made me. But I don’t miss the feeling of always needing to re-amp just to feel okay with managing life. To each their own but I will be an advocate any day of the week for getting off of anything that keeps you from thriving.
Sep 28

Space Pioneers Talk About Science, Religion, Mathematics, Philosophy, And Life

My pops and I headed up to Northern California for my cousin's wedding and this is what we do. We talk about everything. Two different generations talking here. The only times I get to really sit down and talk to my dad is our road trips up north for Thanksgiving, special events, and fathers day. Like father, like daughter I guess you can say. I know where it comes from at least… We even have my mom chiming in as she calls about “ten times” on our way up keeping the conversation lively. We begin our conversation with my dad educating me on the recent findings of the James Webb Space Telescope and then we go on a rampage of everything that has been on our minds lately. And it is the Olmecs that I once again can never remember their name but yet hold a special place in my heart. Enjoy! Support and love here! ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/producerevelyn⁠ & ⁠https://www.paypal.com/donate/?business=3D549WBD2UYLG&no_recurring=0&item_name=Justice+is+not+always+served+%2526+my+podcast+is+an+outlet+for+me+to+recover+funds+from+a+home+invasion.+Every+little+bit+matters.¤cy_code=USD⁠ Follow the duck & Evelyn on her adventures and journeys @ducklifeproductions Song links!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/evelynslatershew/songwriting-days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Keywords: Philosophy, Religion, Society, Culture, Politics, Family, Science, Mathematics, ten commandments, Star Trek, Attorney, Road Trip, Parents, Tarantino, Richard Linklater, Martin Faranan McDonagh, Good Vs. Evil, God, Devil, Opinions, Facts, History, Weddings, Cheese Balls, 2026, Trends, Trending, Conversations, Dialogues, Traveling, real life, contrarian thinker, philosophy, reflections, reflections of evelyn, producer evelyn, writing, politics, trends, trending, no filter, authenticity, raw, mcdonalds, carls jr, pepes finest, sci fi
Sep 21

This Damsel Is Not In Distress: Trafficking On Ocean Blvd

In October of my birthday month, two years after recovering from my first home invasion, I spent a long time afterwards reaching out to the State Assembly, my cities Prosecutors Office, on record with a judge & two attorneys, consumer affairs, BBB…and the one thing they all had in common was, complacency. No follow ups, no returned emails or phone calls, and I was left to take matters into my own hands. I was then left with a few different options that I contemplated in my head. “Well Evelyn, you can move into your family house who are hoarders and sleep on the floor and plan your exit plan from this earth, or you can pull yourself together, by yourself, get a better job, isolate, and get to work”. I chose the latter. At the end of the day, the only person who truly had my back was myself and my cat, Sebastian. And together we fought against the injustice of this world and created a safe home where we could both live out our days and start a new life, completely different, fresh, brand new contacts in my phone, and begin forming another identity within myself but this time, with confidence and resilience. For my 33rd birthday, my dad bought me a $40 bike off some guy by the freeway who puts on weekend “garage sales” for the community and from there we started talking about our “past lives”. He would tell me to come over whenever I wanted, that a beautiful girl such as myself should never have to pay and if I saw something I liked, I could take it. Sometimes when riding by I would stop to see if I could ever find some of my stolen goods circling the streets of Long Beach. I never found anything worth mentioning but I would stop by and bring him some food and drinks and say thank you for his generosity. One day we got to talking and he told me how he came from a dark past and associated with a, lets just call them a “higher up bad crowd” and turned his life around when he was able to escape. He made it his mission to give back to the community and help the local street folk get back on their feet and provide them jobs helping him. He said he only dealt with the good guys. That is of course until one day I stopped by, my heart leapt and I saw someone who used to live on the same block I did, he recognized me and I told the man I would never return. He later told me over the phone that I don’t have to be afraid that he no longer has my name in his mouth but that wasn't enough for me. He wanted to take care of me, love me, provide for me, and I tried to explain to him that it was impossible. That I, was the only one who could do that for me now. He told me to call him if I ever got into a situation again and I tried to explain to him that I don’t need another person threatening someone, by someone else's hands of course, or come to my defense when the damage had already been done. This was the last audio message I sent to that man and when I had an opportunity to change my number shortly after, I did not plan on reaching out or having him find me, again. After what happened to me, a part of me obviously changed. That innocent, young woman filled with wonders and day dreams had disappeared and I was this new and improved, confident, successful woman, who has a soul tie now with the dirty streets of Long Beach and a jaded view of her surroundings. My mind thinks differently now since then. I do my best to move on and create a beautiful life for myself but a part of me will always be soul connected to the street life whether I want to be or not. It has been almost one year on the dot that I was able to move out from the pits of darkness and into the light and start a new life in which my new neighbors do not know where I had come from. I am grateful for the fresh start and I can honestly say, this is where I was always supposed to be. Keywords: trafficking, rape, AK47, PCP, GHP, trap house, injustice, danger, psychotic episode, 5150, insecurity, cannabis, drugs
Sep 14

Forge Your Own Path

I want to send a special shout out to a dear friend and loved one who I recently connected with from high school and share some of the love and support she has given me since we have reconnected. It is so lovely to have her as my gal pal from Chicago and wanted to pass along her instagram page if you are interested in any life coaching, spiritual readings, or personal guidance you may be seeking. Tell her that Evelyn sent you and you are interested in a $25 session with her. She is exceptional and genuine. Here is her IG handle: @readingw.vitani8 (look for the purple “V” icon!) Oh man, this is wild. Here is the old skit I mentioned in this episode that I did in high school when I was 17 years old before I became a “punk”, ironically lol. Man, how is that even possible? And what is even weirder to me is that I was essentially the “producer” of the productions we did every talent show and everyone got to have their own skit where they were lead and this one was chosen for me. I remembered being very honored at the time because everyone had a talent they brought to the table, and I was usually the shittest dancer and most insecure and didn’t come with a talent that I was yet aware of. I was just the one begging to be included and was only included because I was friends with the gang so by default I got to be in the productions. It was definitely a popularity contest and as we started winning awards, others really wanted to join in on the fun. It was always just our friends who got to join in. I helped create and produce the feel of the set and put it together with the concepts and ideas behind the story lines which in hindset was pretty f*****g cool that I naturally did that without knowing anything about producing. I guess it was in me all along. I wonder if there is something to that… I was even the one who came up with our production name: A. U. Famous which was to be pronounced as “AYE, YOU Famous?!” That is how you were supposed to announce us haha. Video found here: https://youtu.be/HJnk_Rv26c0?si=vXjO-y9wLfppYVbJ Lastly, I will end you with two fantastic quotes from my favorite movie which I have spoken about way too many times in my podcast. Think it might be time to officially watch it yet? Here is Victor and his mom from the iconic film, Choke (2008) and their opinions about life and possibly this episode. Also, IMDB sucks at movie quotes and I should not have to be editing their page haha. Eh…that’s funny…if you know, you know. Victor Mancini: Sometimes you have to lose everything before the penny finally drops... or... whatever. So here's what I figured out. We're not evil sinners or perfect knock offs of god.We let the world tell us whether we're saints or sex addicts. Sane or insane.Heroes or victims. Whether we're good mothers, or loving sons. But we can decide for ourselves. As a certain wise fugitive once told me,sometimes it's not important which way you jump, just that you jump. Ida J. Mancini: We're not lost! We're pioneers. Blazing a trail through the new frontier. And if you look very closely you'll see an opportunity to overcome your fear. Listen very closely,there's nothing worth having that comes without a risk. Cause I won't always be around to nag you... sometimes, it’s not important which way you jump... just that you jump! Support and love here! ⁠https://buymeacoffee.com/producerevelyn⁠
Sep 4

Psychopaths, Society and Culture

In this week's episode we will talk about what projection sounds like, trauma responses, stress, and mental recovery for some. We are ranging from topics of cyber abuse, corruption in hospitals, and even writing checks to the FBI! This episode has it all. I hope this episode gives you some peace and clarity in your own situations as you recover from whatever you have dealt with in the past or even possibly still chugging through currently. This episode is a taste of that and a reminder not to take your trauma with you and leave it out the door because not all people are the same and you still have not encountered all of the loving people out there who are in your space as a gift to greet you. It may not be in your timeline and you may feel like you are staring through the trees with no light at the end of the tunnel but you are doing the work despite what you are thinking and feeling and hindsight truly is 20/20. I truly love studying how peoples minds work, what makes them tick, and how people handle life's emotional rollercoasters they are thrown into. This particular day I was under a lot of stress and a lot of my past was brought up which let out some ego, pride, hurt, and defensiveness. Discernment, communication, rest and support was needed and with enough work on myself, I was able to pull out of it. My mind did have to go through a place of intricate thought and day dreaming to help me process all of the emotions that had come up. Episodes mentioned: R-E-S-P-E-C-T-ing yourself -⁠https://rss.com/podcasts/reflections-by-evelyn/⁠ Jury Duty… “Your Civic Duty!” - ⁠https://rss.com/podcasts/reflections-by-evelyn/⁠ Happy Halloween! You Filthy Animals.- ⁠https://rss.com/podcasts/reflections-by-evelyn/⁠ Free Freeway Service Patrol services mentioned in this episode: ⁠https://www.metro.net/riding/fsp/⁠ Support and love here! ⁠buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn⁠
Aug 28

Health Care In America…Yikes!

Nuff said honestly. Support and love here! ⁠buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn⁠ & ⁠https://www.paypal.com/donate/?business=3D549WBD2UYLG&no_recurring=0&item_name=Justice+is+not+always+served+%2526+my+podcast+is+an+outlet+for+me+to+recover+funds+from+a+home+invasion.+Every+little+bit+matters.¤cy_code=USD⁠ Follow the duck & Evelyn on her adventures and journeys @ducklifeproductions Song links!⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/evelynslatershew/songwriting-days⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (New song out now!) Keywords: contrarian thinker, accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, hiking, solo hiker, adventure, solitude, isolation, optoutside, journey, destination, socal, mountains, individual, thinking, contrarian thinker, philosophy, self development, growth, awareness, reflections, reflections of evelyn, meditation, producer evelyn, stream of consciousness, writing, producing, blogs, journaling, mindfulness, inspiration, encouragement, positivity, news, journalism, politics, trends, trending, responsibility, accountability, emotional intelligence, maturity, mental health, peace, joy, love, art, humans with a pulse, creative, talk therapy, support, US, UK, Russia, Poland, Canada, China, Spain, Morocco, France, Italy, Los Angeles, California, Long Beach, accountability, emotional intelligence, real life, no filter, authenticity, documentary, canada, sex education, safety first, protection, hiking, solo hiker, adventure, solitude, isolation, optoutside, journey, destination, socal, mountains, capitalism, united states, america, individual, thinking, philosophy, self development, growth, awareness, reflections, trends, trending, responsibility, accountability, emotional intelligence, maturity, mental health, peace, joy, love, art, humans with a pulse, psychology, philosophy, peace, joy, inspiration, motivation, achievement, coming of age, loss, hardship, emotions, safety first, protection, health care, mega corps, big wigs, health insurance, premiums, education, sex education, knowledge is power, the truth may set you free
Aug 22

Trusting The Process: You Try, You “Fail”. You Try, You “Fail”; And Then You Keep Trying

It took him two weeks to hop back on the apps and start “dating” again, distracting him from his mission but that is a part of his journey. He had to gain confidence in himself that can’t be taught from another person. He could never trust that I wasn’t talking to other guys. For me, dating is intentional. And you shouldn’t be saying you are looking for a long term partnership with someone on a dating app when you are looking for something casual. It would take a lot of awareness on someone's part to know that you can’t handle anything more than casual while you are going through an intense life transition. He may have wanted something serious but was not capable of it at that time. Do I think he was serious about me while being an idiot trying to catch validation with someone else? Sure. But his journey will take as long as it will take for him to realize what he wants and needs and how best to not affect someone else in that process. If you are going to try to have your cake and eat it too, just know that comes at the cost of affecting someone else’s feelings and life. What kind of person do you want to be? I genuinely don’t believe he had malice intentions. I think he wanted to fill the hole within himself but in reality could not find a way to get his needs met and take me seriously at the same time. So even though he broke it off with me and he is repeating the same cycle, that is something he will have to learn everywhere he goes before it clicks and he figures out how to do it right for himself and another partner. It is now up to me, this point forward to step away and not try to go back to something he is not ready for. Some people can only handle casual. And when someone is intentionally trying to find someone; their life and inside their soul will reflect that. I do believe you can navigate life with someone else and figure it out together but that is rare and hard to find and you still need to be in the same book and chapter as your partner. Emotional Maturity: Life is ever evolving and changing and you will be healing and growing until the day you stop breathing (if you choose to keep moving and trying) but the capacity, quality, time and attention you can give someone is totally up to you and how you want to treat yourself and someone else. Life and experiences are different for everyone. I could find someone from my past who reaches a higher level for themselves, or I can meet someone completely new who says, “Where have you been my whole life?” I can only hope life has someone in store for me, and ideally long term, but only life gets to decide that and I need to be patient, accept what is, and appreciate what I had. Maybe all we have when someone doesn’t come back is just a reminder that their lives stayed or went into a different direction. But we can keep trying. Show yourself some grace and love as sometimes, life just is. You can be racking your brain and over thinking and wondering why you aren’t experiencing the love or support you dream of and can’t figure out why it’s not happening when the work is there. It’s not always that there is something inherently wrong and you need to change everything that is out of your control, but there are things happening in the background that you are unaware of. Hold on to that hope that your efforts and strength will pay off one day. Sometimes that looks like saying no more or yes to others, sometimes that looks like having patience, or practicing to control your emotions. Sometimes that looks like living your life and just existing and believing that one day it will all make sense. Sending you all love on your own journeys and may you find what fuels you and gives you passion. Keywords: break ups, love, support, grief, trusting the process Support and love here! buymeacoffee.com/ProducerEvelyn
Aug 14

Unconditional Love: A love Note For Guido & Claudia (Federico Fellini’s 8½)

This week's episode will be a part of a two week series on relationships & the many forms it takes in our hearts, brain & stomach. For the last almost six years, I have been what you kids like to call, “No Contact”. He is not dead, he can reach out to me any time, but he is on his own journey and for whatever reason, [God] intended us to stay apart. I held on for a very long time. As hard as I could. I am the most driven, determined, loving, and fearless people I know, & I will and do handle anything you throw at me because I had no choice in that matter. But losing him was excruciating to say the least. Only horrifically bad things happened to me when we separated & I should be dead several times over & no matter what he says or does, I love him. I had to go through my own journey of learning how to grieve & heal without him & for me that looked like acceptance. The journey of separation has been long; & periodically throughout the years I have sent him messages, mainly to Whatsapp to see if the messages were “seen” & “played” and although I do not work for Whatapp or have those connections, to my knowledge & several spiraled rabbit holes, I do believe he saw/played, every message. No response. Losing him at the time was needed to spark my own growth & work on myself, but it is a fine line of losing what meant the world to me in order to find that self love. I wish every day that he comes back & we can speak again, to reconcile, or maybe closure for both of us, but even if that day never comes, I will continue to live life, with or without him. Those were the cards I was dealt. And one of my best friends who I dated in the past told me, “We could never work out because I always knew your soul was bound to someone else”. That hurt. Because finding a romantic life without him feels like cheating on him, but staying alone feels unfulfilled. I only hope you find some solace in this episode as it has been 54 days since I sent him this message & I need/have to stick to it.Loving someone who does not know what they want & need out of their life, who avoids any chance they can get, is beyond painful. But it is real & it is relatable to many of you. All we have is the space, time, and truth in between the heartbreak & the moving on, whatever that looks like for you. I have a memory of being a young girl who dared to dream of being on the Amazing Race Reality TV show for over two decades and we made a short, silly, pretend video on his phone of what our story would be & why they should pick us for the race when we went on on a hike together. Or when he forced me to face my biggest fear on the planet at the time which was, SNAKES, and he took me on a hike with more SNAKES than I had ever seen in my entire life, sunbathing in the middle of the trails looking all terrifying& a lizard went through my legs & a snake rushed after it & got so close to me that I Scooby Doo’ed into a sharp Yucca plant & I stubbed my toe & the doctor said if I came any later to remove the needle I could have died from an infection. Or one time I was at his cozy studio and he had a conference call he needed to attend in under ten minutes and we were busy making passionate love and I said something along the lines of, “Are we good? Don’t you have to go?” He looked down at his Apple Watch, kept going, and said, “We still have a few more minutes”. I thank him for what he showed me about myself, about love, & about strength and resilience. To know that I can overcome all obstacles, just by having once known him in my heart. But I had to learn a different kind of love. A love that was not selfish and a love that was beyond me & all my knowledge and power. And that was to let go, and let be. To love him in the way he knows love to be. So I said my good-bye. Here are the last words I ever said to him in this episode.

3

out of 5

2 Ratings

This show is for real people who feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or confused by modern life. Through honest, no-filter stories and reflections, I talk through real experiences, relationships, and the things we are all quietly thinking about. The goal is not to tell you what to do, but to help you feel less alone, think for yourself, and move through life with more clarity and confidence.

Creator

Evelyn Slater-Shew
Years Active

2026
Episodes

37
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Duck Life Productions INC
Show Website

Reflections of Evelyn