At Least You’re Not Me

Elena Heart
  • 0.0 (0)
  • Personal Journals
  • Updated Biweekly

At Least You’re Not Me is my comedy storytelling podcast, where I turn my real-life disasters into entertainment. I’ve been married three times — legally, financially, emotionally. In each episode, I share brutally honest and funny stories about marriage, divorce, dating, starting over, moving countries, and surviving adulthood with humour intact. I’m Elena Heart, a stand-up comedian and professional bad decision maker, proving that no matter how messy your life feels — at least you’re not me. New episodes drop fortnightly.

Episodes

  1. May 14

    I Told a Support Group About My 3 Marriages… And They Applauded | Life Detox Gone Wrong

    I joined a “life detox” support group thinking I was finally going to fix my life… Instead, I met Henry. A man with three failed marriages, suspicious levels of emotional intelligence, and enough motivational quotes to make me question whether I’d accidentally joined a wellness cult. In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I share what happened after my first chaotic self-help session — from confessing my disastrous marriage history to bonding with complete strangers over divorce, heartbreak, bad decisions, and emotional baggage. Somewhere between the awkward introductions, emotional breakthroughs, and aggressively healthy advice… I started wondering if maybe starting over was actually possible. Or maybe I was just sleep-deprived and emotionally vulnerable. This episode is for anyone who’s: trying to rebuild after divorcenavigating dating after heartbreakstuck in unhealthy relationship patternsobsessed with self-helpor pretending they’re “totally fine” while emotionally eating protein ice cream.And unfortunately… this is only the beginning. Because next episode:👉 we enter The KGB Agent Fiasco — otherwise known as the chapter where my third husband became convinced I was a Russian spy. And yes.It gets worse. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and modern life — told with humour, honesty, and just enough chaos to keep things interesting. Follow the podcast for weekly stories about dating, relationships, and life decisions that didn’t go to plan. 👉 This story is based on real events from my book Oops, I Married Him Again.If you want the full story, you can find it here:⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠ #podcast #storytelling #selfhelp #datingafterdivorce #personalgrowth #comedypodcast #lifeadvice #modernlife

    13 min

  2. Apr 30

    I Thought I Was Fixing My Life… Then I Met Henry | Life Detox Gone Wrong

    I walked into a “life detox” support group thinking I was finally going to fix my life… …and instead, I met Henry. In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I share what happened when I stepped into a room full of strangers trying to rebuild their lives — and realised I might have accidentally joined something that felt suspiciously like a cult. From awkward introductions to unexpected honesty, this episode dives into what it really feels like to start over after divorce, bad relationships, and a series of questionable life choices. And then there’s Henry. A man with three failed marriages, questionable fashion choices, and just enough self-awareness to make me wonder…is this actually helpful… or am I about to make another mistake? This is where the “life detox” begins. If you’ve ever: tried to fix your lifejoined a self-help groupstruggled to let go of the pastor questioned your dating decisions…this story will feel very familiar. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and modern life — told with humour, honesty, and just enough chaos to keep things interesting. Follow the podcast for weekly stories about dating, relationships, and life decisions that didn’t go to plan.👉 This story is based on real events from my book Oops, I Married Him Again.If you want the full story, you can find it here:https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart #podcast #storytelling #selfhelp #datingafterdivorce #personalgrowth #comedypodcast #lifeadvice #modernlife

    14 min

  3. Apr 16

    I Thought I Was Doing Fine… Then Life Turned Me Into a Tree

    This is the moment I realised life doesn’t get fixed… it gets weird. In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I share one of those experiences that starts off normal and slowly turns into something completely unexpected. Somewhere between trying to keep everything together and pretending I had control, I ended up in a situation that made absolutely no sense… and yet somehow made perfect sense at the same time. This isn’t just a story — it’s about control, letting go, and what happens when life stops following your plan. If you’ve ever felt like you were doing everything right… and still ended up in chaos, this one will feel familiar. Expect: real-life storytellinghumour mixed with uncomfortable truthmoments that are ridiculous, relatable, and a little too honestAnd yes… somehow, a tree is involved. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here.👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book: Oops, I Married Him Again ⁠⁠⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠⁠⁠ #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    25 min

  4. Apr 2

    I Should’ve Left When I Saw It… (The Strangest First Date I’ve Ever Had)

    I should’ve left the moment I saw it… but I didn’t. This episode is one of the strangest and most uncomfortable first date experiences I’ve ever had — starting with a blind setup, a man who brought something very unexpected to dinner… and a night that only got worse from there. If you’ve ever been on a bad date, ignored a red flag, or stayed longer than you should have… this one will feel painfully familiar. In this episode:• A blind date that should never have happened• The exact moment everything felt off• Why I didn’t leave when I should have• And how this bizarre experience turned into something unexpectedly healing 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here.👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book:Oops, I Married Him Again ⁠⁠⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠⁠⁠ #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    18 min

  5. Mar 19

    My Husband Believed I Poisoned Him | A True Toxic Relationship Story

    In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I tell the true story of the moment my marriage collapsed. What started as a relationship with an ambitious entrepreneur slowly turned into paranoia, hospital emergencies, and a husband who became convinced I had poisoned him. After a violent moment on a balcony and a punch through the wall next to my head, everything began to unravel. Within weeks we were sitting in a hospital emergency ward under a Code Black security order while doctors tried to treat a rare blood disorder. But when he came home, the paranoia only grew. Conspiracies.Accusations.A Valentine’s card claiming I tried to kill him. Eventually the situation escalated to police, court orders, and a decision that forced me to choose between loyalty and safety. This is a true relationship story about toxic relationships, manipulation, paranoia, and the moment you realise you need to leave. If you enjoy real dating stories, relationship podcasts, and storytelling about modern relationships, subscribe to At Least You’re Not Me. Because sometimes the only comfort in life is knowing… At least you’re not me. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here.👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book: Oops, I Married Him Again ⁠⁠⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠⁠⁠ #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    18 min

  6. Mar 5

    I Gave Him My Retirement Savings | Love, Money & Relationship Red Flags

    He was confident.He was ambitious.He had everyone convinced. Including me. In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I share how I transferred my retirement savings into a business built on promises — and how that decision slowly unraveled into financial collapse. This is not just a relationship story. It’s about: Dating over 40 Financial red flags in relationships Mixing love and money Supporting a partner’s business Ignoring warning signs because you felt chosen The cost of emotional loyalty If you’ve ever invested in a partner, backed someone’s “big vision,” or questioned whether confidence equals competence — this episode will hit home. This is the story of how ambition, charm, and belief turned into one of the most expensive mistakes of my life. And in the next episode, it stops being financial… and becomes something darker. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here.👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book:Oops, I Married Him Again ⁠⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠⁠ #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    15 min

  7. Feb 19

    He Pretended to Go to Work for a Year | Marriage Lies & Red Flags

    He left the house every morning.Suit. Briefcase. Confidence. I believed him. In this episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I share the story of my second husband — the man who pretended to go to work for an entire year while secretly spending his days in a park. This isn’t just a funny marriage story. It’s about:• Financial deception in relationships• Ignoring red flags• Emotional manipulation and anger when questioned• The cost of trusting someone who “looks responsible”• And the moment I followed him and found out the truth If you’ve ever blamed yourself when something felt off… this episode will feel familiar. New episodes every second Friday. And remember — whatever you’re going through… at least you’re not me. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here.👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book:Oops, I Married Him Again⁠https://amazon.com/author/elenaheart⁠ #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    15 min

  8. Feb 5

    Three Husbands and a Coffee Mug

    I’ve been married three times — legally, financially, emotionally. In this first episode of At Least You’re Not Me, I tell the true stories of the three men I married: a man-child, a financial disaster, and a final boss who thought salt was government surveillance. If you’ve ever felt bad about your dating life, relax. By the end of this episode, you’ll feel much better about your choices. 🎧 At Least You’re Not Me is a storytelling comedy podcast about dating, relationships, divorce, and starting over — told through real-life stories that are messy, funny, and sometimes a little too honest. If you’ve ever: ignored red flagsstayed too longor tried to “fix” something that was never fixable…you’ll feel right at home here. 👉 Follow the podcast to hear what happens next — it only gets worse (and somehow funnier). 📖 These stories are based on real events from my book:Oops, I Married Him Againhttps://amazon.com/author/elenaheart #datingafterdivorce #relationshipstories #storytellingpodcast #comedypodcast #personalgrowth #modernrelationships #datingover40 #lifeadvice

    13 min
  • 8 Episodes

About

At Least You’re Not Me is my comedy storytelling podcast, where I turn my real-life disasters into entertainment. I’ve been married three times — legally, financially, emotionally. In each episode, I share brutally honest and funny stories about marriage, divorce, dating, starting over, moving countries, and surviving adulthood with humour intact. I’m Elena Heart, a stand-up comedian and professional bad decision maker, proving that no matter how messy your life feels — at least you’re not me. New episodes drop fortnightly.

Information