Sunflowers: Grow through what you Go through

redwriter89
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Sunflowers: Grow Through What You Go Through is a heartfelt, honest journey through the trauma I faced in childhood and carried into adulthood. Each episode opens a window into the experiences that shaped me, the challenges I had to confront, and the moments that pushed me toward healing. By sharing my story, I hope to show that growth is possible even in the darkest seasons. This podcast explores the tools, support, and inner strength that helped me through my hardest times, offering encouragement to anyone navigating their own path toward healing.

  1. May 25

    Every ending has a beginning

    🌻 Season Finale: Sunflowers Grow Through What We Go Through This episode is a soft landing — a reflection, a threshold, a moment to honor everything this season held. A season about roots, weather, becoming, and the quiet work that happens underground long before anything blooms. This space has always been for honesty, for metaphor, for the slow and sacred work of becoming. As the episode says, “Sometimes survival is the seed. Sometimes endurance is the root.” We looked back at what grew, what hurt, what healed, and what kept reaching even in the dark. We named the grief, the resilience, the surrender, the hope with dirt under its nails. We honored the parts of us that stayed alive when life felt cold. And now, we turn toward what’s next. Toward the new season — The Gloves We Wear — a deeper exploration of the protections we learned, the roles we carried, the armor that once kept us safe and may now be keeping us from touch. As the episode reminds us, “You are allowed to outgrow what once kept you alive.” Thank you for walking this field with me. For listening with your whole self. For honoring not just the bloom, but the buried parts too. Here’s to what’s still alive in you. Here’s to what’s still reaching. Here’s to the next beginning. 🌻✨

    50 min

  2. May 18

    It's not a crisis, it's a tower falling

    Sometimes what looks like a midlife crisis is actually a tower moment — a season where something in your life falls apart, but really it’s falling away because it can’t come with you anymore. These moments are not just about the breaking. They’re about the grief that comes with it. Grief for who you used to be. Grief for who you hoped they were. Grief for the life you thought you were building. But there is something else there too: proof. Not loud fireworks. Quiet proof. Stillness. Safety. Color coming back. Laughter returning. The quiet knowing that you made the right choice. Sometimes choosing yourself feels like loss before it feels like freedom. But that doesn’t make it wrong. It might just mean you’re finally becoming. What in your life is falling apart… and what if it’s actually falling away? #SunflowersPodcast #HealingJourney #ChoosingYourself #GrowthAfterLoss #MidlifeAwakening #PersonalGrowth #TraumaHealing #SelfWorth #GriefAndGrowth #SunflowersGrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough

    24 min

  3. May 11

    Mother’s Day, My Shifting Perspective.

    Mother’s Day can be beautiful—and it can also be complicated. For many, it isn’t a celebration at all: it can bring grief, estrangement, infertility or loss, and the ache of a mother relationship that was never safe. If this season feels tender for you, I just want to say: I see you, and you’re allowed to protect your peace. In my newest Sunflowers episode, I share how my relationship with Mother’s Day has shifted in phases: from obligation and duty, to becoming a mom and building the warmth and symbolism I didn’t grow up with, to the season I’m in now—wanting to be celebrated and fully seen, not only as a mother, but as a woman who has done brave, legacy-changing work. It’s a reminder that gratitude and grief can live in the same hand. If you’re not sure what to say today, try something gentler than “Happy Mother’s Day”: “I’m thinking of you,” “I’m holding space for you,” or “I hope today is gentle.” And if you’re a mom who’s doing the work—showing up, repairing, breaking cycles—please name three brave things you’ve done this year and let them count. If this resonates, I’d love to hear: what’s one small way you’re honoring your truth this week?

    29 min

  4. May 4

    No One Is Coming—Until You Do

    Some of us don’t need another “just be positive” pep talk—we need a way out of the cycle. In this episode, I talk about the moment I realized I was the one I was waiting for—and how self-rescue is built in tiny proofs: boundaries, mental space, and keeping small commitments to yourself. I share how trauma can wire us to catastrophize, turn one mistake into a verdict, and self-sabotage when we feel like we’re the only one we have—plus what changed when I let a safe friend in and we problem-solved together. We also unpack the “waiting” pattern: waiting to be saved waiting to be seen waiting for clarity from people who don’t want to change waiting for permission to rest, say no, and take up space waiting for the moment you can finally breathe And I leave you with practical tools you can actually use this week: a rescue ladder, loop-breaker questions, and 5 ways to stop waiting and start moving. If you’re ready to stop loving potential and start choosing yourself—this one’s for you.

    47 min

  5. Apr 27

    My silent wins

    Some victories are private on purpose. In this raw, memoir-based episode, I talk about what it means to celebrate wins in silence when you’ve lived in dynamics where every good choice was either taken from you—or you were shamed, blamed, and made to feel like you weren’t enough, then reminded to “be responsible” even in the middle of your joy. I also share how this shows up around birthdays—when a day that should feel simple and personal ends up feeling complicated, unsupported, or like something you have to manage on your own just to feel special. This episode is for anyone learning that privacy can be a boundary, peace can be a win, and your first witness can be you. Listen if you’re healing and protecting what’s tender while it’s still growing.

    26 min

  6. Apr 20

    Triggers, and the Body That Remembers

    In Triggers, and the Body That Remembers, we unpack what triggers really are: your nervous system sounding the alarm, even when you’re safe now. We talk about how trauma shows up in the body, the core trigger themes (abandonment, being overridden, emotional invalidation), and how those patterns can shape adult relationships and parenting. You’ll also hear the tools that helped me grow through it—boundaries, perspective shifts, regulation, and the “sunflower practice” of acknowledging the shadow and turning back toward the light. Healing isn’t perfection—it’s peace.

    40 min

  7. Apr 13

    What about me?

    For most of my life, I was taught that my needs came last. This episode explores the moment I finally asked, “What about me?”—and what happened when no one had an answer. Choosing myself wasn’t selfish; it was survival. Like a sunflower, I stopped growing toward approval and started growing toward the light. 🌻

    39 min

  8. Apr 6

    You’re so controlling

    Dedication or control? I’ve been called “controlling.” The translation? “I can’t manipulate you anymore.” With CPTSD, you learn to read between the lines. And when you’ve been controlled for a long time, healthy boundaries get labeled as “mean,” “controlling,” or “no fun.” Right now, my dedication looks like structure I can control: the gym, eating right, and taking my health seriously—because I’m a parent and my kids deserve a stable, present version of me. I wasn’t taught how to care for my body growing up. My health wasn’t taken seriously. So now that’s a boundary. A discipline. A standard. I’m also unlearning a soul-deep urge to please people—one that came from abuse—and raising my standards back to something simple: I’m human, and basic decency isn’t complicated. Question for you: Where in your life is “discipline” actually you protecting yourself?

    33 min
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About

Sunflowers: Grow Through What You Go Through is a heartfelt, honest journey through the trauma I faced in childhood and carried into adulthood. Each episode opens a window into the experiences that shaped me, the challenges I had to confront, and the moments that pushed me toward healing. By sharing my story, I hope to show that growth is possible even in the darkest seasons. This podcast explores the tools, support, and inner strength that helped me through my hardest times, offering encouragement to anyone navigating their own path toward healing.

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