Living Midlife Well with Janine Lattimore

Janine Lattimore

Helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy midlife more—one simple step at a time.   janinelattimore.substack.com

  1. 3d ago

    Ep24 How to Reclaim Your Time in Midlife: What is Your North Star?

    Are you busy all the time, but still wondering if you’re spending your time on the things that actually matter to you? If midlife has left you juggling work, family, responsibilities and everyone else’s needs, this episode will help you step back and ask a more important question: What is my time actually for? Instead of trying to squeeze more into an already-full life, I’ll show you how to work out what deserves your time in the first place. You’ll use three simple questions to uncover what matters most to you, what brings you alive, and how you want your life to feel—and bring those answers together into your own personal North Star. This is a different approach to time management in midlife. Because you can’t meaningfully reclaim your time until you know what you want to use it for. In this episode, you’ll discover: • Why traditional time management may not be what you need in midlife  • How to recognise the difference between the life you’ve inherited and the life that is actually yours • How your values can help you decide what deserves your time • How what you love can reveal what brings you alive and give you clues about your purpose • Why thinking about how you want your life to feel can open up possibilities beyond specific goals • How to create a personal North Star that brings your values, purpose and desired feelings together • Why clarity makes it easier to set boundaries and decide what to say yes and no to • A simple daily practice for choosing how you want to feel each day Links Mentioned in the Podcast Article version of How to Reclaim Your Time in Midlife https://janinelattimore.com/supporters/posts/268805 Reinvent Your Life 21 Day Programme https://living-life-well-jl.kit.com/4a298de4cd What Is My Life Purpose? A Midlife Guide to Living True to Yourself Podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-Ab7rbUckA LMW Morning Reset Online App https://living-life-well-jl.kit.com/12eeaf3733 Chapters 00:00 Too Busy for What Matters? 01:51 Reframing Time Management in Midlife 02:41 Why Time Management Needs to Change in Midlife 05:13 Why You Need to Decide What Matters First 07:12 Question 1: What Do You Value? 09:51 How to Identify Your Core Values 11:25 Question 2: What Do You Love? 12:40 Discover What Brings You Alive 13:09 Question 3: How Do You Want Your Life to Feel? 14:03 Why Your Feelings Matter More Than Specific Goals 16:05 How to Create More of the Feelings You Want 17:40 How to Identify How You Want Your Life to Feel 18:59 Create Your Personal North Star 20:46 How to Use Your North Star to Reclaim Your Time 21:44 Reclaim Your Time, Reclaim Your Life 23:24 Just One Thing: Choose How You Want to Feel Today 24:28 3 Things to Take Away From This Episode 25:05 Reinvent Your Life: The 21-Day Program 26:48 Thanks for Listening The three questions 1. What do you value? Identify the principles and qualities that are genuinely important to you now. 2. What do you love? Explore the things that energise you, interest you and bring you alive. 3. How do you want your life to feel? Identify the feelings and experiences you want to create more of in your everyday life. Together, these give you a clearer picture of how you want to live and what deserves your time. And if the whole process feels like too much, start with just one thing: choose one or two feelings you want to invite into your day. This episode is part of the Living Midlife Well approach to reclaiming your time, living with intention and creating a life that feels easier to live. Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep24 How to Reclaim Your Time in Midlife: What is Your North Star?
  2. Sep 3

    Ep 23: Stop a Negative Spiral When You’re Exhausted: A Simple Midlife Reset

    Have you ever been so exhausted that everything feels too hard? Your patience is gone. Small things irritate you. Your brain has stopped working properly, and suddenly every problem in your life feels urgent. You start criticising yourself, worrying about everything that needs to be fixed, and wondering whether you need to completely change your life. But what if you don't need to fix your life right now? When we're exhausted, our mental and emotional capacity is reduced. Things that would normally feel manageable can suddenly feel enormous, and exhaustion can send us into a negative spiral of stress, overwhelm and self-criticism. In this episode of Living Midlife Well, I explore why exhaustion can make our problems feel bigger than they really are, and why the best response may not be to push harder, solve more or try to fix everything. Instead, I share a simple approach: stop trying to fix your life and start listening to your body. Rather than asking yourself, “What should I do?”, try asking: “What do I have capacity for right now?” And when you're heading into an exhaustion spiral, come back to this simple four-step practice. JUST ONE THING: The 4-Step Practice 1. PAUSE Take a slow, full breath. 2. LET GO Decide to let go of trying to solve everything at the moment. 3. LISTEN Ask yourself: “What does my body need right now?” 4. RESPOND Give your body that one thing. You can leave the rest until you've recovered some capacity. Sometimes what looks like a life problem is an exhaustion problem. And sometimes the most helpful thing you can do isn't to do more. It's to pause, listen to yourself and respond to what you need. If you're in midlife and feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or like you're constantly running on empty, I hope this episode gives you a different way to think about what you're experiencing. Your needs matter. You matter. 💬 Let's have a conversation: Have you experienced exhaustion sending you into a negative spiral? What has helped you — or made things worse? If you found this episode helpful, please like, subscribe and leave a comment or review. It helps other people find Living Midlife Well too. Chapters 00:00 Exhausted? Don’t Fix Your Life Yet  01:46 When Exhaustion Makes Everything Feel Worse  03:43 Why Exhaustion Can Cause Negative Thinking  06:42 Don’t Try to Solve Your Life When You’re Exhausted  07:31 Ask “What Do I Have Capacity For?”  09:40 How to Stop a Negative Spiral When You’re Exhausted  10:40 How to Listen to Your Body When You’re Exhausted  12:28 Self-Care and Building Self-Trust  13:40 Create a New Loop for Stress and Exhaustion  14:14 Why Simple Self-Care Can Be So Difficult  14:37 Try This for One Week  15:10 Just One Thing: A 4-Step Practice  15:29 The 4 Steps to Stop an Exhaustion Spiral  16:09 Practice This Before You’re Exhausted  16:29 Share Your Experience  16:42 Closing  Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep 23: Stop a Negative Spiral When You’re Exhausted: A Simple Midlife Reset
  3. Aug 22

    Ep 21: The Healthiest Morning Routine for Midlife: Why How You Start Your Day Matters

    Do you wake up feeling tired, sluggish or mentally foggy? Or find that you start the day feeling stressed and somehow never quite recover? How you start your morning can have a surprising impact on your energy, wellbeing, sleep, stress levels and how you feel throughout the day—particularly in midlife. In this episode of the Living Midlife Well podcast, I share 5 simple morning habits for more energy after 40 and explain why they are important as your body and life change through midlife. The LMW Morning Reset is based around five simple elements: 💧 HYDRATE – Refresh your body with water after a night of sleep. ☀️ CALIBRATE – Get natural morning light to help support your body clock and power up your cells. 🚶 ACTIVATE – Move your body to get your circulation, energy and brain working. 🥚 FUEL – Nourish yourself with a protein-rich first meal. ❤️ CONNECT – Take a moment to consider how you want to feel, what you need, what you enjoy and what matters most to you today. The aim isn't to create another complicated morning routine or another list of things you have to achieve. It's about finding a simple, sustainable morning routine that supports your body and helps you feel better without adding more stress to your life. I'll also talk about morning coffee, morning sunlight, protein at breakfast, intermittent fasting, morning movement and the four questions that form the Connect part of the LMW Morning Reset. If you're looking for a healthy morning routine for midlife, ways to increase your energy after 40, or simple habits to help you start your day feeling more grounded and prepared, this episode is for you. 🌅 Get the FREE LMW Morning Reset Want to put these ideas into practice? You can access the LMW Morning Reset online app here: https://living-life-well-jl.kit.com/12eeaf3733  It's designed to help you create a simple morning rhythm that supports your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. Read the article about the four questions that form the Connect part of the LMW Morning Reset: https://janinelattimore.com/supporters/posts/250445 If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and leave a comment or review. It helps other people find Living Midlife Well too.  📖 Read The Healthiest Morning Routine for Midlife: Why How You Start Your Day Matters article at https://janinelattimore.com/supporters/posts/261555 Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep 21: The Healthiest Morning Routine for Midlife: Why How You Start Your Day Matters
  4. Aug 15

    Ep 20: How to Reclaim Your Time: Stop Doing Everything and Prioritise What Matters

    Do you feel like you're constantly busy but never seem to have enough time for the things that really matter to you?In this episode of the Living Midlife Well podcast, we look at how to reclaim your time without trying to squeeze more and more into your already busy day.The problem may not be that you need better time management. It may be that too much of your time is being spent responding to other people's needs, urgent tasks and things you think you should be doing. I'll introduce you to The Life Priority Method — a simple five-step approach to help you decide what actually deserves your time:1. Consider Your LifePersonal | Relationships | Work | Home2. Capture Your TasksGet everything out of your head.3. Sort Your TasksWant To | Have To | Should4. Set Your PrioritiesChoose your top priorities.5. Give Them Your TimeSchedule your priorities first.The aim isn't to become more productive so you can fit even more into your day. It's to create more space for the things you genuinely want, value and care about.In this episode, we explore:• Why your to-do list can feel never-ending• Why traditional time-management techniques don't always work for your personal life• The difference between managing your tasks and prioritising your life• How to identify the things you genuinely want to do• How to distinguish between Want To, Have To and Should tasks• Why letting go of unnecessary “shoulds” can be so powerful• How to organise your day without creating a rigid schedule• How intentional prioritisation can reduce stress and mental overload• How reclaiming your time can help you put more of you back into your lifeIf you're in midlife and feeling overwhelmed, constantly busy, or like your own priorities keep getting pushed to the bottom of the list, this episode is for you.You don't need to do everything. You don't even need to fit everything in. You can decide what matters most—and give that your time first.Here is the link to the planning templates I talked about in the episode + a phone wallpaper infographic summary of this Life Priority Method planning system.If you enjoyed this episode ✔ Subscribe to receive new practical tips every week to help you slow down, feel better and enjoy midlife more ✔ Like this post ✔ Leave a comment—I’d love to hear what you like about this planning system or how you think it could be improvedYou can also share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it today. If you are a man or woman over forty and want to access more resources to help you decrease stress, increase fulfilment and experience more vitality, love and joy in midlife then visit my website janinelattimore.com Living Midlife Well: helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more—one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time Restore your energy Build meaningful relationships Rediscover yourself 📖 Read the article🎧 You can also listen to the podcast on: Spotify and Apple Podcasts (Janine Lattimore Living Midlife Well) Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com Transcript Have you ever reached the end of a really busy day and thought, Where did all the time go? You’ve been doing things all day. You’ve answered messages, dealt with other people’s needs, ticked things off your list, taken care of the things that had to be done... And yet somehow, the things that actually mattered to you didn’t get done. Or perhaps you did get them done, but only after everything else had taken priority. If that sounds familiar, I want you to stay with me for this episode, because I’m going to share a very simple shift that can change the way you think about your time. It isn’t another productivity system designed to help you squeeze even more into your day. In fact, it’s almost the opposite. It’s about learning to decide what deserves your time before the demands of the day decide for you. And I’m going to show you a simple way to organise your day around what you actually want, what you genuinely have to do, and the things you can finally let go of. So, let’s start with the question that sits underneath all of this: What if you don’t actually need more time? What if you need to choose differently? Kia ora and hello, welcome to the Living Midlife Well podcast. I’m Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach here to help people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Today we’re talking about reclaiming your time. And as you listen, I’d like you to keep one idea in the back of your mind: Your time is one of the ways you create your life. We’re going to look first at why so many of us feel as though there is never enough time, then I’ll explain why some traditional approaches to prioritising tasks don’t necessarily work very well for our personal lives. And then I’ll take you through the simple system I’ve developed, including my three categories of Want To, Have To and Should, and show you how you can use them to create a day that has more of you in it. let’s get into it. Do you ever get to the end of the day and wonder where all your time went? You may have been busy from the moment you woke up. You answered messages, dealt with other people’s needs, worked through your list, did the things that needed doing and perhaps even squeezed in a few things you thought you should do. Yet, somehow, the things that mattered most to you didn’t get much of your time at all. For years, I thought my problem was that I didn’t have enough time. What I’ve come to realise is that the problem wasn’t really time. It was what I was choosing to give my time to. If your days are organised around everything that is urgent, expected, requested and necessary, there will always be more to do. The question isn’t how you can fit everything into your day. It’s whether the things filling your day are actually the things you want your life to be made of. Let me ask you a few more questions to help us see more clearly where this feeling of never having enough time comes from Do you get up in the morning and just launch into responding to other people‘s needs and calls for attention, and doing what you think needs to be done? Is checking your messages, email and social media on your phone the first thing that you do when you wake up? Are you constantly responding to what is urgent? Does your to-do list start forming in your head the moment your eyes open from sleep (or even in your dreams)? I don’t ask those questions from a place of judgement. I ask them from a place of curiosity, and I invite you to do the same. If you can identify with any of that, then here is my next question for you: How does it feel to live that way? For me it felt - overwhelming stressful like I was constantly rushing and running on a daily grind treadmill It felt like there was never enough time. Can you relate to any of that? If so, I am going to share one simple idea in this episode that can help. And this is where I want to make our first important shift. Because if the problem isn’t simply that we don’t have enough time, perhaps the answer isn’t to become better and better at cramming things into the time we have. Perhaps we need to look at what we’re prioritising in the first place. One of my favourite quotes from Steven Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is The key is not to prioritise what‘s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities. I love this idea because it sounds like a small distinction, but actually it’s quite a profound one. Prioritising what is on your schedule is about organising what is on your to-do list. Scheduling your priorities means consciously choosing what goes on the list in the first place. And that distinction is really the heart of what I’m talking about today. So let’s look at why our usual approach to managing tasks can leave us feeling as though we’re constantly trying to catch up. To-do lists normally form around responsibilities, demands, requests, needs and what is urgent. They are normally compiled in response to the world around us. Task checklists like this have a way of snowballing, once they start rolling they tend to pick up any other task that needs to be done and we don’t usually stop to prioritise what is going on the list, we just organise how the list will be completed in relation to time. That is why to-do lists have a habit of becoming very long, sometimes even unending Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep 20: How to Reclaim Your Time: Stop Doing Everything and Prioritise What Matters
  5. Aug 8

    Ep 19: The Midlife Shift: Rediscovering Who You Really Are

    Are you really being yourself?What does it actually mean to be authentic—and why does the desire to live more authentically become so strong in midlife? In this episode of the Living Midlife Well podcast, we explore what it really means to be true to yourself in midlife, and why authenticity is about much more than simply saying what you think, setting boundaries, or caring less about the opinions of others. As we move through midlife, many of us begin questioning the roles, expectations and behaviours we’ve carried for years. We may start wondering: Is this really who I am—or is this who I’ve learned to be? In this episode, we explore: • What it really means to live authentically• Why your emotions aren’t necessarily your truth• The difference between authenticity and simply saying “no”• Why having a lower tolerance for BS isn’t necessarily the same as being authentic• How our personality, behaviours and beliefs can be shaped by conditioning and expectations• The difference between your ego and your authentic self• The Conditioned Self, the Protective Self and the Authentic Self• How people-pleasing, perfectionism, performing and hiding can disconnect us from ourselves• Four questions you can use to begin discovering your true self The four questions are: Where am I hiding?Where am I performing?Where am I pleasing?Who am I when I stop doing those things? I believe authenticity isn’t about becoming someone different. It’s about removing what isn’t really you and reconnecting with the person underneath the roles, expectations and patterns you’ve accumulated throughout your life. If you’ve reached a point in midlife where you’re asking “What do I actually want?”, “Who am I now?” or “What would it feel like to live more like myself?”, this conversation is for you. If you enjoyed this episode ✔ Like this post ✔ Subscribe to receive new practical tips every week to help you slow down, feel better and enjoy midlife more ✔ Leave a comment—I’d love to hear: what being true to yourself means to you. You can also share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it today. If you are a man or woman over forty and want to access more resources to help you decrease stress, increase fulfilment and experience more vitality, love and joy in midlife then visit my website janinelattimore.com Living Midlife Well: helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more—one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time Restore your energy Build meaningful relationships Rediscover yourself 📖 Read the article at https://janinelattimore.com/supporters/posts/256182 🎧 You can also listen to the podcast on: Spotify and Apple Podcasts (Janine Lattimore Living Midlife Well) Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinelattimore.substack.comSend me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep 19: The Midlife Shift: Rediscovering Who You Really Are
  6. Aug 1

    #18: How to Ask for What You Need in a Relationship (Without Feeling Guilty)

    Link to the free downloadable phone wallpaper checklist for the 6 steps Admin note: From the next episode I am going to move my podcast hosting to a new platform. I will add the next podcast to Substack as usual though and put all the new links in the description. Do you find it difficult to ask for help, express your needs, or tell people what you really want? Perhaps you’re worried about being a burden, sounding selfish, being rejected, or starting an argument. Instead, you stay quiet, hope people will notice, and end up feeling frustrated when they don’t. In this episode of the Living Midlife Well Podcast, wellbeing coach Janine Lattimore explores why asking feels so uncomfortable for so many people in midlife—and shares a simple six-step framework for communicating your needs with confidence, kindness and clarity. You’ll discover: * Why so many of us become people pleasers * The hidden cost of expecting people to read our minds * Why unmet expectations often create resentment * How to ask for what you need without feeling guilty * What to do when someone says “no” * A simple six-step process for healthier communication and stronger relationships Healthy relationships aren’t built on mind-reading. They’re built on honest conversations. If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “They should know how I feel,” - then you need to listen to this. If you enjoyed this episode ✔ Subscribe to receive new practical tips every week to help you slow down, feel better and enjoy midlife more ✔ Like this post ✔ Leave a comment—I’d love to hear: What keeps you from asking for what you need and what did you get from this episode that you think will help you? You can also share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it today. If you are a man or woman over forty and want to access more resources to help you decrease stress, increase fulfilment and experience more vitality, love and joy in midlife then visit my website janinelattimore.com 🎧 You can also listen to the podcast on: Spotify and Apple Podcasts (Janine Lattimore LivingMidlife Well) Living Midlife Well helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more—one simple step at a time.> Reclaim your time> Restore your energy> Build meaningful relationships> Rediscover yourself Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinelattimore.substack.comSend me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    #18: How to Ask for What You Need in a Relationship (Without Feeling Guilty)
  7. Jul 24

    Ep17: Why Is It So Hard to Make Decisions? One Question That Makes Every Choice Easier

    Do you constantly overthink decisions or worry about making the “right” choice? If so, the problem may not be that you’re bad at making decisions. It may simply be that you’re asking the wrong question. In this episode of the Living Midlife Well Podcast, I explore why decision-making becomes so much harder in midlife and why trying to find the one “right” answer can leave us mentally exhausted, anxious and stuck in overthinking. I’ll share a simple question that has completely changed the way I make decisions and explain how shifting from externally driven decisions to internally aligned decisions can help you find greater clarity, confidence and inner peace. In this episode you’ll discover:• Why decision-making often feels harder in midlife• Why searching for the “right” decision creates overthinking and drains your energy• The difference between decisions driven by obligation and decisions driven by self-love• How your head and heart process decisions differently• The science behind the heart-brain connection and heart-brain coherence• One simple question that can make difficult decisions feel clearer and easier If you’ve ever found yourself asking:“What should I do?”“What if I make the wrong decision?”“How do I stop overthinking?” ...then this episode is for you. 💛 Just One Thing This week, try asking yourself: “What would I do if I truly loved myself?” Notice what changes when you begin your decision-making from a place of self-love rather than obligation. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, subscribe and leave a comment. It really helps support the channel and allows more people to discover these simple ideas for creating a calmer, happier and more meaningful life. 🌿 Living Midlife Well – Helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more—one simple step at a time. Like what you’re reading? Subscribe to Living Midlife Well and get the same great content delivered straight to your inbox! Transcription If you find yourself overthinking every decision, second-guessing yourself or constantly wondering whether you’re making the “right” choice, you’re in good company and there is nothing wrong with you. Decision-making can be difficult especially in midlife as careers, relationships, family responsibilities and life changes all demand your energy and consideration. If you find it challenging to make the right choice then the real problem may not be that you are bad at making decisions. It may simply be that you are asking the wrong question. One simple shift in the question you ask yourself can cut through the mental noise, help you stop overthinking and enable you to make decisions that feel calmer, clearer and more aligned with who you truly are. Kia ora and hello, welcome to the Living Midlife Well podcast. I’m Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach here to help people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Today we’re talking about something that affects every single one of us, but especially those of us in midlife. Making decisions. Some decisions are small and simple. Others have the potential to change the direction of our lives. Whether it’s deciding about a career change, a relationship, setting boundaries with family, looking after our health, or simply deciding how we want to spend our time, making decisions can sometimes feel exhausting. So let’s explore why that is. Making decisions can be hard, especially in our forties and fifties. We experience having to make choices and decisions throughout our lives, but midlife can be a significant crossroads for many people. We can be faced with some big questions and choices about our career, our relationships, our children, our finances and our future. In addition to that, many of us in midlife are feeling a shift or loss in our identity. Children leaving home, career changes, menopause, divorce or ageing can all prompt the question, “Who am I now?” And without a clear sense of self, decisions can feel even harder. After years of caring for children, partners or ageing parents and/or giving a large part of yourself to your work, you may have become disconnected from your own desires and don’t even know what you want anymore. On top of that, most people don’t just want to make good decisions. They want to make the right decision. We can feel even more pressure to do this in midlife when we have children relying on us, bills to pay and the weight of past mistakes sitting on our shoulders. As a result, we go into a mental battleground of conditioned beliefs, trying to identify the one right and perfect answer. We ask ourselves: What should I do? What would other people do? What are the pros and cons? What if I make the wrong choice? What if I fail? What if I disappoint someone? What if people judge me? What if I miss out on something? Does any of that sound familiar? I confess... I like to get things right, do things right and have things done right. I have perfectionist tendencies and often like to control how things are done so that they are done well. On the flip side of that, I grew up very sensitive to doing the wrong thing or getting things wrong. Having a very critical father probably helped instil that fear in me, but there are personality and neuro-type traits that feed into all this as well. In many ways these are helpful patterns of behaviour. I can be relied on to do a good job. I am conscientious and I complete things to a high standard. But then there is the downside. The almost constant underlying anxiety. Regularly pushing myself to the point of burnout. Finding it hard to settle if things are messy, undone or out of place. Yes... I am a recovering control freak. And because of that, I understand the need to get things right and the fear of making the wrong choice or decision. One of the pieces of life wisdom that I learned in my forties was that rightness is subjective. It is a constantly moving target. When you aim to get everything right, the only thing you are guaranteed to get is stressed. Life is messy. It is unstructured. It isn’t black and white. There is very little, if anything, in life that is absolutely right or wrong. Even the laws of the land sometimes need to bend to meet particular circumstances. Which brings us to the question most of us ask whenever we’re faced with a decision. “What is the right thing to do?” We may frame it in different ways. “What’s the responsible thing to do?” “What’s the best thing to do?” “What should I do?” But underneath, they’re all asking exactly the same thing. And if you’re anything like me, that question leads to a back-and-forth mental debate that can be completely exhausting as we wrestle with trying to work out the right choice. There are two reasons trying to make the right decision is so hard. And that’s what I’d like to explore next. The first is quite simple. As I mentioned earlier, the goalpost of what is right isn’t fixed. It moves with different people, different situations and different perspectives. There is no one objectively right decision... ever. So, if you’re trying to find the one perfect answer, you’ll often find yourself going round and round in circles. You toss ideas around in your mind. You argue with yourself. You look at every angle. Then you look at every angle again. It’s exhausting because you’re trying to solve a problem that doesn’t actually have one universally correct answer. But there’s a second reason making decisions can feel so difficult. And I think this one is even more important. What your head thinks is right and what your heart thinks is right are often two different things. That’s usually why you feel resistance to a particular thought or decision. Your heart is connecting to something different. Now, when I say your head and your heart, I’m not suggesting they’re in conflict with one another. In fact, I think they’re on the same team. They simply have different strategies. Your head operates in terms of logic, rationality and patterns. It wants to follow established pathways. It wants to make sense of things. It wants to do what is logically right and fit within the systems we’ve learned to live by. Your heart is different. I believe it is connected to your soul and to the wisdom and intelligence of your body. It doesn’t present you with pages of analysis. Ins Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    Ep17: Why Is It So Hard to Make Decisions? One Question That Makes Every Choice Easier
  8. Jul 17

    #16 How to Stop Feeling Rushed

    Do you ever feel like you’ve run a marathon before the day has even begun? If you’ve been wishing you had more time, this episode may change the way you think about your day. The truth is, most of us don’t actually need more hours—we need to feel less rushed and more intentional with the time we already have. In this episode of Living Midlife Well, I share the simple morning intention-setting practice I use every day to reduce overwhelm, clarify my priorities and create a calmer, more meaningful day. You’ll discover: • Why feeling rushed isn’t really about time• A simple mindset shift from “spending” time to “investing” time• Why traditional planning doesn’t work for everyone• The benefits of sequence planning instead of rigid time schedules• The four morning questions that help me feel calmer, more focused and more in control The Four Morning Questions * How do I want to feel today and what do I want to embody? * How am I going to nourish myself today? * What am I going to do for fun or enjoyment today? * What is most important to me today? This week’s Just One Thing is simple: Before you look at your phone tomorrow morning, ask yourself: “How do I want to feel today and what do I want to embody?” I’d love to hear how this practice works for you, so please leave a comment below. If you enjoyed this episode, please Like, Subscribe and Share. Your support helps more people discover Living Midlife Well and encourages me to keep creating practical tools to help you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more. Thank you so much for listening. Discover more about my book The Great Life Planner Aroha nui, much love, Janine Living Midlife WellHelping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more—one simple step at a time. Living Midlife Well is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Transcript Have you ever felt like you’ve run a marathon before you’ve even got to work in the morning? I used to, almost every day I often felt like I was juggling multiple things and doing everything in a hurry just to get out the door in the morning. And when you start the day that way, you tend to carry on that way for the rest of it... until you finally collapse into bed at night with a brain that’s still whirring. I would often find myself thinking, “I wish I had more time.” Or perhaps, “I wish I had less to do.” Or ideally... both. I longed to get off the running wheel of life that I constantly found myself spinning on. But here’s what I’ve realised. What we really mean when we say, “I wish I had more time,” is usually one of two things. We want to feel less rushed. Or we want more opportunity to do the things we genuinely want to do. Today I’d like to share a simple morning intention-setting practice that addresses both of those desires because they’re actually closely linked. It’s a practice that can reduce overwhelm, clarify your priorities, and help create a calmer and more meaningful day. Kia ora and hello, welcome to the Living Midlife Well podcast. I’m Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach here to help people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Today we’re talking about how to feel like you have more time and feel less rushed Now time itself is a fixed commodity. None of us gets more than twenty-four hours in a day. What we can control is how we perceive and use the time we have. We can prioritise and manage our time in ways that help us feel like we have more time for ourselves, for the people we care about, and for the things that matter most. One idea that’s really helped me is to think of time as a valuable currency, in a similar way to how we think about money. We already talk about spending time. But what if we started thinking about investing time instead? It’s only a small change in language, but I think it creates a really positive shift in how we value our time and the choices we make with it. So today, I’d like to give you a planning tool. Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Planning just takes more time.” And when your head is swirling with that invisible load of everything that needs doing, it’s tempting to skip the planning and jump straight into action. The trouble is, when we do that, we’re stepping straight out of bed and onto the fast-moving treadmill of life, spending the day in constant reacting mode. I’ve found that planning actually gives you energy as well as organising your time. It can reduce decision fatigue and stop you giving your energy to tasks that aren’t really important or satisfying. It can give you a map. A plan for living your day in a way that feels purposeful, flowing and satisfying. That feeling of being rushed is usually created by overwhelm. It’s that awareness of all the things we need to do, without any real clarity about how we’re going to do all of them. Planning helps create that clarity. Now, perhaps you’re listening and thinking, “I’ve tried planning tools before, and they didn’t work for me.” Maybe they simply organised your overwhelm instead of reducing it. Or perhaps they actually added to it. The planning process I use is quite unique compared to most others because it starts from a very different premise. The complete framework and planning templates are in my book, The Great Life Planner. But what I’m sharing with you today is the simplified version that I currently use every day. It’s enough to get you started, and if you enjoy it and want to explore the framework more deeply, the book goes into much greater detail. There are two main differences in the way I plan my days. The first is the questions I ask myself. The second is that I don’t plan using a rigid timetable. Instead, I use what I call a sequence schedule. I decide the order I’ll do things in rather than exactly what time I’ll do them. Now, I’m not saying this is the right approach for everyone. It’s simply what works best for me but I am giving it to you as an idea you may like to try. Whenever I tried scheduling every task into a specific time slot, I usually found it hard to stick to Life would happen, things would change, and I’d end up feeling stressed and dissatisfied. Planning by sequence feels much freer to me. I simply focus on doing the most important things first. Then I know that if I accomplish those priorities, everything else I achieve during the day is almost a bonus. Working this way helps me move through the day with a much greater sense of flow. And at the end of the day, instead of focusing on everything I didn’t get done, I feel satisfied because the things that mattered most have already been taken care of. As I said, the second difference is the questions I ask myself. There are 4 key ones that I reflect on every morning: The first question is: How do I want to feel today, and what do I want to embody? How you feel is the energy you bring into your day. Most people don’t think about their emotional state as something they can intentionally create. Instead, feelings become reactions to whatever happens throughout the day. But taking a moment each morning to decide what emotional energy you want to bring, and who or what you want to embody, sets the tone for your entire day. It puts you into an intentional, proactive state instead of a reactive one. And the energy you’re in influences both how you interact with the world and, I believe, what you draw back from it. The second question is: How am I going to nourish myself today? This question prompts you to consciously plan some self-care into your day. It might simply be your usual healthy habits. Or it might be recognising that today you need something extra. As you answer this question, I encourage you to pause and quietly ask yourself, “What do I need today?” Regular self-care habits are wonderful. But it’s equally important to recognise when life is asking something different of you. The third question is: What am I going to do for fun or enjoyment today? This is one that people often overlook. Yet enjoyment and fun are every bit as important as self-care. That feeling of not having enough time is often connected with not having enough play, Send me a message About Living Midlife Well Hi, I'm Janine Lattimore, a wellbeing coach helping people in midlife get off the treadmill of stress and exhaustion, rediscover their joy, and create a life that is aligned with who they really are and what they really want. Living Midlife Well — helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy life more, one simple step at a time. Reclaim your time  Restore your energy  Build meaningful relationships  Rediscover yourself  Janine Lattimore | Living Midlife Well | janinelattimore.com

    #16 How to Stop Feeling Rushed

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Helping you slow down, feel better and enjoy midlife more—one simple step at a time.   janinelattimore.substack.com