Honey, We’re Not Okay!

Valerie and Meccah

Welcome to Honey, We’re Not Okay! We’re two Black queer women in Arizona sharing a raw, authentic space. You’ll get all the tea on our dating lives, spirituality, and individual growth. From being dumped in the rain to the reality of cohabitating with an ex, we reflect on our community to build a new one. This is our journey of healing, resolutions, and evolution. Life is messy, and we’re navigating it with you one deep conversation at a time. We might not have it all figured out, but we’re authentic about the process. Tune in every Wednesday to see if we’re okay!

Episodes

  1. Apr 30

    Season 1 Finale: Recap, Reflections, and Summer Break Plans

    The season one finale is finally here! We’ve officially made it through eleven episodes of deep dives, hard truths, and a whole lot of chaos. In this finale, we’re looking back at the journey of Honey, We're Not Okay—from navigating the messy world of queer dating to all of the unlearning we’ve done along the way. In this episode, we talk about: Season 1 Highlights: A recap of our favorite moments and the topics that hit the hardest. The Summer Break: Why we’re stepping away to "live more life" and gather new stories for the next chapter. What’s Next: A sneak peek into what we’re planning for the hiatus and the road to Season 2. We’re not going away forever—just taking a beat to recharge. Stay connected with us for mini-episodes and "car talks" throughout the summer. Thank you for being part of this first season! If you’ve enjoyed the show, please leave us a review and share your favorite episode with a friend. Follow us on Spotify to get notified the second we’re back for Season 2.

    39 min

  2. Apr 22

    Our First Q&A: Spilling Everything You Wanted to Know

    We’re opening the floor to your most intrusive questions—and we aren’t holding back. 🏳️‍🌈 This week, we’re stepping away from the scripts to answer the anonymous questions you sent us on Instagram. We’re getting into the parts of our experience that we usually only talk about in the group chat: from the cliquey nature of our community to the exhaustion of the "savior complex" in toxic relationships. We also dive deep into the rules of engagement. Can you really survive a long-distance poly relationship? Is dating a friend’s ex ever okay? In this Q&A, we unpack: Being Black & Queer in Arizona: The beautiful but sometimes cliquey reality of navigating the Black queer community.The "Insecure" Era: Why our lives feel like a mix of Issa Rae and Drake’s Marvin's Room. Toxic Traits & Red Flags: Unlearning the "savior complex" and why villainizing an ex on the first date is a major red flag. Desire & Intimacy: How often we think couples should actually be having sex, and what makes us feel truly desired beyond physical attraction Rate the podcast if you’re enjoying the chaos, and we’ll see you next Wednesday!

    1h 9m

  3. Apr 15

    We Realized Monogamy Isn't the Only Way to Love

    Is there only one way to love, or have we just been sold a dream that doesn’t fit? 🏡 This week on Honey, We’re Not Okay!, we’re putting monogamy and polyamory side-by-side to see where we actually land. We’re getting honest about the "Standard American Dream" of one partner and why that feels like a cage to some and a safety net to others. From Meccah's experience navigating multiple relationships to Valerie’s need for clear boundaries and "permission," we’re breaking down the terminology (as best we can)—ENM, Ambiamory, and the complexities of Mono-Poly dynamics. In this episode, we discuss: The Mono-Poly Tension: Can a monogamous person and a polyamorous person actually make it work? Our Personal Shifts: Why we’re moving away from "Serial Monogamy" and toward something more honest. The "Greedy" Myth: Deconstructing the stigma that being poly means you’re just afraid of commitment. Safety & Security: Things we see as a green flag in an open dynamic, not a restriction. Whether you’re strictly monogamous or out here living your best ENM life, we’re unpacking why we believe love should be free, however you choose to define it. Rate the pod and check in on us next Wednesday!

    53 min

  4. Apr 8

    We Took the Attachment Test and It Exposed Everything

    Are you the one double-texting, or the one leaving them on read for three days? 📱 This week on Honey, We’re Not Okay!, Valerie and Meccah are diving into the world of attachment theory. We’re taking the attachment style quiz and getting honest about our results—from being "secure" at work to "preoccupied" in romance. We also discuss how coming out and dating women completely shifted our nervous systems, and why we’re now confronting anxious thoughts we never had before. In this episode, we unpack: The Four Styles: Secure, Anxious, Dismissive-Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant. The Gender Shift: Why dating women feels like a "different emotional situation" than dating men. The Toxic Cycle: Why the anxious-avoidant trap is so addicting. Take the Quiz: https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/ Whether you’re a "repeat offender" in relationships or just trying to heal your inner child, this one is for you. New episodes every Wednesday!

    57 min

  5. Apr 1

    Spirituality, Manifestation & Self-Care: Staying Sane When Life is Trying You

    Welcome back to Honey, We're Not Okay with Valerie and Meccah. In case you were wondering, we’re still not okay. This week, we are having an honest conversation about the intersection of spirituality, manifestation, and the reality of day-to-day stress. We often hear about the "perfect" spiritual routine, but what happens when life gets overwhelming and those habits fall to the wayside? In this episode, we discuss our personal struggles with staying consistent and how we’re using tools like The Artist's Way and morning pages to find our footing again. We dive into the nuance of manifestation for the black queer community and how to prioritize self-care without the pressure of being perfect. In this episode, we cover: The challenge of maintaining a spiritual routine during high-stress periods. Our experience with The Artist’s Way and the impact of daily journaling. How neurodivergence plays into habit-building and self-care. Practical ways to approach manifestation when you’re feeling burnt out. Thank y'all again for checking on us, and make sure to come back next Wednesday!

    54 min

  6. Mar 26

    Why Conflict with Women Hits Different

    Welcome back to Honey, We're Not Okay! Hosted by your fav two chaotic Black queers, Valerie and Meccah. Today's episode is all about our experiences handling conflict, jealousy, and discomfort with other women. We discuss: How socialization, individualism, and culture play a role in why conflict between women hits differentBiphobia in the queer communityThe illusion of competitionCultivating a safe space for community healingLeave us a rating and review if you enjoyed today's episode, and make sure to come back next Wednesday to check on us again!

    48 min

  7. Mar 18

    Stop Auditioning for Love: Neurodivergence, Trauma, and Authenticity

    Welcome back to Honey, We're Not Okay with your two favorite chaotic Black queers, Valerie and Meccah! In case you were wondering, we’re still not okay. Today, we’re diving into a heavy but necessary topic: the "Relationship Audition." Have you ever felt like you were performing just to be liked? We explore why so many of us feel the need to "audition" for a spot in someone’s life instead of just showing up as ourselves. We get real about how neurodivergence and childhood upbringing play a massive role in why we mask our true selves to fit in socially and romantically. In this episode, we discuss: The difference between being your authentic self and playing a character to keep a partner How neurodivergent masking can turn dating into a constant performance The "Interview Stage" and why we sometimes treat dating like a job application Moving from seeking validation to finding true freedom and respect in your partnerships Thank y'all again for checking on us, leave a review if you enjoyed today's episode, and make sure to come back next Wednesday!

    38 min

  8. Mar 11

    Queer Gender Roles: Are We Actually Free or Just Copy-Pasting?

    Are you dating by the "blueprint" or are you actually free? This week, Valerie and Meccah—your favorite chaotic Black queers—dive into the complex world of gender norms within the queer community. We’re deconstructing why so many queer relationships try to mimic heteronormative dynamics and why we need to trade "roles" for "balance." Valerie shares her experience of feeling pressured to be feminine despite being a "rough around the edges" tomboy, while Meccah discusses the wounds of being masculinized by men and how she’s healing her relationship with both energies. We also dive into provider energy, passenger princesses, and why communication is the only way to avoid the trap of resentment in your partnership. Check on us every Wednesday for more real talk on sex, dating, and personal growth from a black, queer, and neurodivergent lens. Grab a drink and join the conversation!

    57 min

  9. Mar 4

    Swipe Right or Run? Our Dating App Icks & Essentials

    Are dating apps actually okay? This week, Valerie and Meccah—your favorite feral femmes—explore the current state of dating apps though a queer lens. We’re ranking everything from the "mature" vibes of Hinge to the "fine shit" we’re finding on the HER app lately. We discuss why the HER app has officially fixed its reputation to become a top contender and how Tinder managed to become a consistent place for real relationships despite its hookup stereotype. We also dive into the etiquette of the swipe, explaining why you should never lead with a group photo and the importance of disclosing non-monogamy before someone hits a "jumpscare boyfriend" in your gallery. Check on us every Wednesday for more honest conversations on being Black, queer, and neurodivergent.

    45 min

  10. Feb 25

    Is a Praise Kink Just Positive Reinforcement?

    We’re putting the 'K' in Kinky (and the 'C' in Chaotic). This week on Honey, We’re Not Okay!, From debating the ethics of the BDSM test during Black History Month to Valerie’s "respectful gay panic" at a Korean spa, we’re covering it all. We talk about the art of Shibari, why "Strong Hands" are a requirement, and why aftercare is non-negotiable—because nobody wants to hear "Your Uber is outside" after a spiritual experience. Highlights: The BDSM Test: We take it live. Are we dominant, submissive, or just confused? The Spa Story: How a soap shortage led to some funny moments between new friends. The "Sims" Noise: A breakdown of the sounds we make in the bedroom (spoiler: it’s giving Simlish). Ancestral Judgment: Why certain kinks might get us kicked off the family tree. New episodes every Wednesday! Let us know in the comments: What's the weirdest kink you've ever googled?

    1h 5m

  11. Feb 18

    The Gay is Contagious: Our Coming Out Stories

    Welcome back to Honey, We’re Not Okay! With your favorite chaotic Black queers, Valerie and Meccah. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the messy, funny, and sometimes exhausting journey of coming out.Before we get into our own stories, we take a trip down memory lane to discuss our first same-sex crushes. From childhood flings with best friends to realizations sparked by the "Comfy Couch" clown and 2000s icons like Ciara and Alicia Keys, we cover it all.In this episode, we discuss:Our Personal Journeys: Valerie shares her experience coming out during the 2020 pandemic and the "unintentional" ways her mom already knew. Meccah opens up about growing up in the Nation of Islam and how a competitive game of "Truth or Dare" at age 11 changed everything.Religion & Identity: We tackle the tension of being raised in religious households—Christian and Muslim—and how we navigated the fear of judgment versus the reality of acceptance.Defining "Coming Out": We explore why coming out isn't always a one-time big event but can be a series of exhausting realizations and conversations.Advice for the Community: To wrap it up, we share why coming out isn't "necessary" to be whole and why finding a supportive community is the most important step you can take.We want to hear from you! Who was your first celebrity crush? Let us know your coming out stories in the comments below.New episodes every Wednesday!

    51 min
  12. Dumped in the Rain & Back Outside

    Feb 11

    Dumped in the Rain & Back Outside

    Welcome to the very first episode of Honey, We’re Not Okay! We’re kicking things off by pulling back the curtain on our lives as Black queer women navigating the desert heat of Arizona. This isn’t just a podcast; it’s a raw, authentic space where we spill the tea on our personal growth, spirituality, and—most importantly—our chaotic dating lives. In this episode, we’re diving into the deep end of singlehood: The Breakup Files: We get real about when and why we’re newly single—including a cinematic (and tragic) breakup in the rain just after New Year’s. Exes & Boundaries: We discuss where we stand with our former partners and the ultimate "taboo": cohabitating with an ex. The Dating Standard: Would you date someone who still shares a roof with their ex? We’re breaking down our dealbreakers. 2026 Intentions: A look ahead at what dating, growth, and resolutions look like for us this year. We started this journey to reflect on our community and build a new one with all of you. Thanks for checking in on us! Make sure to tune in next Wednesday as we tackle the complexities of "Coming Out."

    51 min
  • 12 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

Welcome to Honey, We’re Not Okay! We’re two Black queer women in Arizona sharing a raw, authentic space. You’ll get all the tea on our dating lives, spirituality, and individual growth. From being dumped in the rain to the reality of cohabitating with an ex, we reflect on our community to build a new one. This is our journey of healing, resolutions, and evolution. Life is messy, and we’re navigating it with you one deep conversation at a time. We might not have it all figured out, but we’re authentic about the process. Tune in every Wednesday to see if we’re okay!

Information

  • Creator
    Valerie and Meccah
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Valerie and Meccah
  • Show Website
    Honey, We’re Not Okay!