5d ago

growing up in care

november marks national care leavers' month, something that's deeply personal to me. and i know i've spoken about my care experience before, but i feel like there's still so much that we don't actually talk about. because when you hear the words care leaver, what actually comes to mind? in part one of this two-part special, i reflect on my own journey growing up in care, how my relationship with my identity has evolved over the years, and what it really means to become independent when you don't necessarily have a choice. from moving out a week after my 18th birthday, to making some pretty questionable financial decisions, navigating adulthood and eventually making a home of my own. we're talking about the good, the bad, and everything in between. because the reality is, turning 18 doesn't automatically mean you're equipped to navigate adulthood. and sometimes, independence isn't something you gradually grow into, it's something that's expected of you. there's a difference between having independence as a choice and having independence as a necessity. but i also want to challenge some of the narratives around care-experienced young people. we're often celebrated for being resilient, overcoming adversity and defying the odds, but surely we should also be asking why those odds are stacked against young people in the first place? everyone's care experience is unique. no two journeys are the same, and i think that's something that deserves to be recognised. this is my experience, not everyone's. and whilst it's shaped who i am today, it's not the entirety of who i am. welcome to part one of my national care leavers' month special on z's corner. stay groovy, make good decisions - you got this x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 28

difficult conversations.

episode 09: difficult conversations | zi's corner 🎙️ guys, can we talk about how uncomfortable difficult conversations actually are? 😭 welcome back to episode 9 of zi's corner! anyone who knows me knows i'm a big believer in marginal gains and the idea of getting 1% better every day. but recently, i've been thinking about what that looks like when it comes to communication, setting boundaries and having conversations we'd much rather avoid. because sometimes, it's not even the conversation itself that scares us. it's the reaction we're anticipating. in this episode, i reflect on my own relationship with difficult conversations, from growing up in an environment where speaking up didn't always feel safe, to spending 10 years in the care system, and now navigating relationships, feedback and uncomfortable conversations in the corporate world. i talk about people pleasing, emotional regulation, the psychology behind our fight-or-flight response and how our past experiences can shape the way we communicate in the present. one thing i'm learning is that there's a difference between being considerate and abandoning yourself to keep other people comfortable. you can be kind and still disagree. you can respect someone's authority and still challenge their decisions. and you can communicate something imperfectly while still having a valid concern. but equally, not every disagreement needs to become a confrontation. sometimes growth is knowing when to speak up, how to say it and when to let things be. i'm still learning, and believe me, the overthinking and rehearsing conversations in my head hasn't magically disappeared 😂 but i'm learning that being honest doesn't make me difficult, and someone else's reaction isn't always a reflection of my character. so i'll leave you with this: is there a conversation you've been avoiding because you're genuinely not ready to have it, or because you're afraid of how someone else might respond? and what would change if you gave yourself permission to be honest, even when the outcome isn't entirely within your control? as always, take care of yourselves, make good decisions and stay groovy. 💗 @ziscornerpodcast on insta references mentioned: james clear — atomic habits (2018): the power of getting 1% better every dayharvard health publishing — understanding the stress responsebessel van der kolk — the body keeps the score (2014)#ziscorner #difficultconversations #careexperienced #personaldevelopment #peoplepleasing #boundaries #emotionalregulation #genz #selfgrowth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oct 21

what it means to not operate from urgency

hello, hello, hello! five months later and i'm finally back 🤣 this hiatus wasn't intentional. life just happened, and before i knew it, five months had flown by. in this episode, i'm catching you up on everything from having another operation and navigating recovery, to launching my consultancy, going on a leadership residential, juggling work, health, relationships and everything in between. but the golden thread through it all? unlearning urgency. i've spent so much of my life associating being busy with being productive, and being useful with being worthy. the last five months have challenged that in more ways than one. i'm learning that not everything needs to happen today, that rest isn't a reward you have to earn, and that sometimes taking a step back is exactly what you need to move forward. there's a bit of everything in this one. some vulnerability, some reflections, a few laughs and, of course, an update on my very cooked love life 🤣 thank you for sticking around. here's to growing, learning and figuring life out as we go. links mentioned in this episode: 🌱 catalista, the wonderful organisation behind my leadership residential: https://catalista.co.uk/ ✨ sign up for my free employability and career development webinars for 16–25 year olds: https://forms.cloud.microsoft/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=DQSIkWdsW0yxEjajBLZtrQAAAAAAAAAAAAO__rYHRaxUNEpTRkRYTDRYNUdCWTIyRVhNUzhOVllKWC4u&origin=lprLink&route=shorturl take care of yourselves, stay groovy, make good decisions and good choices, and you got this. lots of love, z x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 29

learning lessons the hard way

episode 7: learning lessons the hard way (and paying for it at 24) this episode is exactly what it sounds like i talk about the reality of making a stupid decision in thailand, getting arrested, and having to deal with the consequences- financially and mentally but this isn’t just a storytime it’s about accountability, growth, and the lessons you only seem to learn the hard way i get into: – saying no to opportunities because i didn’t think i deserved them – why so many young people feel stuck right now – the difference between being unemployed and economically inactive – what turning 24 has actually taught me so far – and why doing things scared might be the only way forward this episode is a bit chaotic, a bit honest, and very real because i don’t have it all figured out… i’m just learning as i go insta: zi’s corner🎙️✨ (@ziscornerpodcast) • Instagram photos and videos Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Apr 19

friendship, fear and figuring out who you are

back after a well-needed break! in this episode of zi’s corner, i’m joined by my good friend edan as we sit down in thailand for one of the most honest and unfiltered conversations i’ve had on the podcast so far what started as a structured idea using a number generator quickly went off track, but what came out of it was real, raw and reflective we talk about growing up, friendships, relationships, religion, travelling and what it actually means to figure life out in your twenties this episode is a little chaotic at times, but it’s grounded in honesty and lived experience because at the core of it, this podcast is about understanding who you are, where you’ve come from, and where you’re going your lived experience is a source of strength you can find edan here: instagram.com/edan.malcolm thanks for tuning in x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mar 2

you don't have to be on all the time

i wasn’t feeling it yesterday. i felt flat, off, not myself. but i still showed up. this episode is about the in-between days. the days no one glamorises. the pressure to always be “on”, always producing, always disciplined. we talk about emotional bandwidth, nervous system burnout, gratitude, and why it’s okay not to be at 100%. the world feels heavy right now. perspective matters. you’ve still got breath in your lungs. it’s okay to be off. it’s not okay to give up on yourself. (reupload was audio was meady) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feb 23

18 and on your own

in this episode of zi’s corner, i begin part one of a three part series exploring the care experience through lived reality, not labels. this episode focuses on housing, stability, and the transition from being a looked after child to becoming a care leaver. turning 18 is often framed as freedom. for many of us, it feels more like a discharge into adulthood without a safety net. using maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a lens, i unpack why housing is not “just accommodation” but the foundation of everything. when safety and shelter are unstable, confidence, education, employment, and mental health all become harder to sustain. i share my experience of waiting five years for permanent accommodation, discovering water damage after signing my tenancy, moving multiple times in a short period, and learning how to advocate for myself with the support of settle. this is not about blame. it is about accountability, systems, and what corporate parenting should mean in practice. i also previously featured on the settle down podcast with settle, where we spoke about housing, stability, and leaving care. you can listen here: https://shows.acast.com/settle-down-podcast/episodes/6932fa01a63c6eaa5968fe5a care experienced people are often reduced to statistics. behind every statistic is a nervous system, a young person, and a story that rarely gets told properly. disclaimer: this episode contains discussion of suicide, mental health struggles, housing instability, and systemic challenges within social care. please listen with care. if anything feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional support service in your area. sources and references: my insta: @zizaanjum maslow, a. h. (1943). a theory of human motivation. psychological review, 50(4), 370 to 396. department for education (2023). children looked after in england including adoptions. https://explore-education-statistics.service.gov.uk/ department for education (2023). outcomes for children in need, including children looked after by local authorities. https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/statistics-children-in-need become charity (2022). care leaver survey findings on housing and support. https://becomecharity.org.uk/ settle, uk charity supporting care experienced young people with housing and financial stability. https://www.wearesettle.org/ part two will explore identity, attachment, and how growing up in care shapes your sense of self long before you turn 18. take care x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feb 16

love n relationships

engaged at 19? crazy. if you’ve ever confused intensity with love, stayed longer than you should have, or wanted to be chosen more than you wanted to feel safe… this one’s for you. in this episode of zi’s corner, i’m unpacking the relationships that shaped me, the rusty foundations i didn’t realise i had, why the dating scene feels a little bit meady right now, and the psychology behind it all - attachment styles and how your childhood sets the blueprint for your adult relationships. yeah. we’re going there. my insta: @zizaanjum sources n further reading: bowlby, j. (1969). attachment and loss. ainsworth, m. (1978). patterns of attachment. mikulincer & shaver (2007). attachment in adulthood. hazan & shaver (1987). romantic love as attachment. van der kolk (2014). the body keeps the score. porges (2011). the polyvagal theory. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jan 31

your experience is your strength

**trigger warning** this episode has themes of mental health and suicide- which may be uncomfortable for some, but it's important it's spoken about. in this pilot episode of zi’s corner, i reflect on mental health, care experience, and what it means to rebuild differently. i share parts of my story not for sympathy, but to educate, to inspire, and to remind you that your lived experience is a source of strength, not weakness. mental health matters because it shapes how we move through the world, how we relate to ourselves and others, and how we survive when life feels overwhelming. for me, this topic is extremely close to my heart. i know what it feels like to keep going when you’re exhausted, to rebuild without a blueprint, and to find meaning after things fall apart. this episode is about slowing down, protecting your energy, and finding anchors that help you keep going — even when life feels heavy. it’s about choosing softness where you can, and honesty where it’s needed. if this space makes you feel a little less alone, then it’s doing exactly what it’s meant to do. my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zizaanjum support & resources (uk): • samaritans — call free, 24/7: 116 123 • text shout to 85258 for confidential support by text • mind: https://www.mind.org.uk • nhs mental health services: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/ thank you for tuning in 🫶🏽✨ take care of yourself, always. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jan 31

why we glamourise the grind (and what it’s costing us)

2 episodes so soon? how GREEDY. in this episode, i talk about why so many of us glamourise the grind, especially in our late teens and twenties, and how that culture quietly affects our mental health, confidence, and belief in ourselves. i reflect on hustle culture, burnout, and the pressure to always be busy, alongside my own experiences and research around stress, sleep, and capacity. i also share what protecting your energy has looked like for me, without guilt and without pretending i’ve got it all figured out. this episode is for anyone who feels tired, overwhelmed, or stuck in the cycle of doing more to feel like enough. you can connect with me on instagram:@zizaanjum my linkedin: Aziza Anjum | LinkedIn if anything in this episode brings things up for you, please don’t sit with it alone. if you’re in the uk, you can call samaritans on 116 123 or text shout to 85258 sources i used: https://www.who.int https://www.hse.gov.uk/stress https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression https://www.sleepfoundation.org Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

zi’s corner

Episodes

growing up in care

difficult conversations.

what it means to not operate from urgency

learning lessons the hard way

friendship, fear and figuring out who you are

you don't have to be on all the time

18 and on your own

love n relationships

your experience is your strength

why we glamourise the grind (and what it’s costing us)

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