Parent Pause

with Kim McCabe (because a pause is not a luxury)
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Become a less stressed parent in minutes kimmccabe.substack.com

  1. Should you let your child take care of you?

    21h ago

    Should you let your child take care of you?

    What if the most “helpful” child in the family is carrying a burden they were never meant to carry? We often celebrate children who are mature, thoughtful and no trouble at all. But sometimes I wonder what’s sitting underneath that. There’s a big difference between a child helping because they’re growing and a child helping because they’re protecting. One builds confidence. The other asks them to carry responsibilities that belong to the adults around them. In this week’s Parent Pause, I’m exploring that almost invisible line between contribution and parentification - and why a child saying, “Don’t worry, Mum, I’ll be good,” can sometimes break my heart. It’s a nuanced conversation about responsibility, care, and what children really need from us. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    3 min
  2. The thing your child needs most might surprise you

    3d ago

    The thing your child needs most might surprise you

    What if your child doesn’t need fixing nearly as much as they need delighting in? When our children are struggling, it’s so easy to become focussed on helping them overcome their challenges. More confidence. Better organisation. Greater resilience. We want life to be easier for them. Of course we do. That’s love. But in this Parent Pause, I talk about a girl who had become so used to hearing about her difficulties that she quietly concluded, “I’m just bad at everything.” The heartbreaking thing was that it wasn’t remotely true. She had simply started confusing her challenges with who she was. I think many children, especially those with additional needs, are at risk of believing that the things they find difficult are the most important things about them. What if our role is not to make our children more normal, but to help them become more fully themselves? To notice what lights them up. To enjoy them. To see their gifts, humour, interests and possibilities alongside their struggles. Children grow best in the direction of who they are, not who they’re being compared to. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    4 min
  3. The loneliest playground conversation

    5d ago

    The loneliest playground conversation

    Have you ever stood in a playground full of people and felt completely alone? I think one of the hidden griefs of parenting a child with additional needs is that sometimes it doesn’t just make our child feel different - it makes us feel different too. Different from other families. Different from the parenting story we imagined. Different from the life everyone else seems to be living. In this Parent Pause, I explore the loneliness that can creep in around school gates, birthday parties and everyday conversations. Not because people are unkind, but because when we feel different, we often pull back and carry more on our own than we need to. What I’ve learned is that almost every family is carrying something. Anxiety, grief, financial worries, uncertainty, a diagnosis not yet shared. The playground is full of hidden stories. Perhaps what we’re often longing for isn’t advice at all. It’s connection. Another parent saying, “Me too.” Not because their situation is identical, but because being human is. There are no prizes for coping alone. Parenting was never meant to be a solo activity. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    3 min
  4. When your child’s Special Education Needs don’t feel very special

    Jun 1

    When your child’s Special Education Needs don’t feel very special

    Have you ever left a meeting about your child feeling like you’ve somehow lost them in the paperwork? I think one of the hardest things about parenting a child with additional needs is watching conversations become dominated by what they struggle with. Their difficulties, their diagnosis, their support needs. Important things, but not the whole story. A diagnosis can be useful. It can open doors to support. But it is never a description of a child. Our children are always bigger, richer and more interesting than the challenges they face. This is a reminder that one of our most important roles as parents may simply be to keep helping others see the whole child - their strengths, quirks, talents and humanity, not just the things they find difficult. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    3 min
  5. Why teenagers need adventure more than advice

    May 22

    Why teenagers need adventure more than advice

    I don’t think teenagers are suffering from a lack of advice. Honestly, they’re drowning in it. “Be kind.” “Work hard.” “Stay safe.” “Believe in yourself.” “Protect your mental health.”And yet so many young people still feel anxious, flat, unsure of themselves and frightened of life. Because confidence does not grow from being told things.It grows from lived experience. From trying, wobbling, doing hard things, surviving embarrassment, being needed, from discovering, “Oh… I can actually do this.” Teenagers need meaningful challenge more than endless guidance - and rites of passage traditionally included difficulty for a reason. Sometimes modern parenting accidentally removes too much friction from childhood because we love our children and want to protect them. But perhaps the message young people most need is not: “The world is dangerous. Stay small.”Perhaps it’s: “There is more in you than you currently know.” Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    4 min
  6. Your daughter does not need a perfect mother, or your son a perfect dad

    May 20

    Your daughter does not need a perfect mother, or your son a perfect dad

    Our child’s growing up was never supposed to feel comfortable for us as parents. I think one of the saddest modern parenting myths is the idea that we’re meant to guide our children through adolescence while appearing calm, emotionally sorted, endlessly patient and completely unruffled. Like some sort of spiritual air hostess serenely pointing to the emergency exits while the plane is clearly going down. Coming-of-age rites of passage were never only for the young person. They changed the parents too. There is grief and beauty in watching our children grow away from us - not as rejection, but as expansion. So much of parenting adolescents is learning to loosen our grip without losing connection. Because healthy growing up requires space, for them and for us. Perhaps our daughters do not need perfect mothers.Perhaps our sons do not need perfect fathers. Maybe they simply need parents willing to keep growing too. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min
  7. The risks of not marking our children’s growing up

    May 18

    The risks of not marking our children’s growing up

    We celebrate babies beautifully - first scans, first teeth, first steps, first birthdays. But then something strange happens. Our children begin the enormous transition into adolescence and suddenly many of us go quiet. Almost embarrassed. And our young people feel that silence. In this week’s Parent Pause I talk about what we’ve lost by abandoning rites of passage and why so many young people are now trying to initiate themselves into adulthood through risk-taking, online performance, drinking, self-harm, sexual pressure and drama. Because human beings have always needed something very simple from the adults around them: “We see you changing. This matters. And we’re here to guide you.” Rites of passage do not need to be grand, spiritual or cringe-inducing. Sometimes it’s simply an aunt taking a girl out for breakfast, a father teaching his son how to safely use a pocket knife, a meaningful conversation, a letter, a walk. What matters is not the performance. It’s the recognition. Many young people today are quietly asking:“Can anybody see that I’m changing?” And perhaps our role is not to stop that change - but to witness it well. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    5 min
  8. The mental health tool many parents are forgetting

    May 15

    The mental health tool many parents are forgetting

    We keep being told to protect our children’s mental health with apps, strategies, interventions and expert advice. But what if some of the most powerful things are actually astonishingly ordinary? A walk.A laugh.A kitchen conversation.A parent sitting beside them in the car.A bit more sleep.Less pressure.More outside. In this week’s Parent Pause I talk about the mental health tool I think many families are forgetting - simple human connection and the rhythms that help nervous systems settle. I think modern life is making all of us a bit twitchy, overstimulated and disconnected from ourselves. Including our children. And perhaps mental health isn’t always about fixing ourselves.Sometimes it’s about returning to what makes us feel human again. Thank you for pausing with me. Take care. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kimmccabe.substack.com/subscribe

    6 min
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Become a less stressed parent in minutes kimmccabe.substack.com

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  • Creator
    with Kim McCabe (because a pause is not a luxury)
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    166
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Kim McCabe
  • Show Website
    Parent Pause