Fit Mind Chats

Abbey Samide PCC-S & Sarah Della Vella LISW

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Mental Health
Weekly

Abbey Samide PCC-S and Sarah Della Vella LISW are co-owners of Fit Mind Cleveland. It is our goal to make therapy and therapeutic topics understandable and available to everyone. We will explore mental health topics with humor, knowledge, insight and compassion. abbeysamide.substack.com

2h ago

Unfiltered and Ungrounded

Being a teenager in this technological age, with an increase in accessibility to news around the whole word and influencers who are bragging about their lives, travel, events, and the filters, AI at your fingertips and people’s ability to judge you and you to judge others. There are trolls who are hypercritical of people and judgmental. It got me wondering, what do teenagers wish their parents knew or understood about growing up in today’s world. Some of the answers I could relate to, others are as foreign to me (AI) as it must be to teens. Today we give voice to the inner world of a teenager. We asked them and promised anonymity. Let’s hear what they wish we all knew and understood about the challenges of being a teenager today. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Oct 26

Confessions we thought we were taking to the grave

A listener wrote in to confess the most diabolical thing they did at their college roommate’s ridiculously pretentious, black-tie wedding. The bride had a strict rule: absolutely no flash photography, and no posting photos before she approved them for her aesthetic grid.” During the main ceremony, right as the vows were happening, our listener used a burner account to upload a completely unedited, terribly lit, blurry photo of the bride mid-sneeze—tagged with the official wedding hashtag. They hit post and the photo went viral instantly. Another confession comes from a listener who broke up with their toxic ex two years ago. The ex forgot to change his Netflix password. Did our listener delete the profile? Did they change the password? No. That’s amateur hour. For twelve consecutive months, every single night before going to bed, our listener logged into the ex’s profile, clicked on fifty different toddler shows and obscure foreign documentaries, watched ten seconds of each, and then logged out The ex’s entire ‘Recommended for You’ feed was permanently ruined with Peppa Pig and Mongolian throat singing. He eventually posted on Reddit asking if his smart TV had been compromised. What are thoughts you have that are taboo, petty or embarrassing that others would judge. We asked people for confessions/thoughts they are taking to the grave before admitting them to anyone. We polled our social media followers and they showed up. Thank you for participating. These are fantastic. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Oct 19

Controversial thoughts no one wants to admit

If we can’t admit to difficult thoughts and feelings we cannot change. If we judge ourselves for our reactions, our thoughts and feelings we will hide them and miss out on an opportunity for digging in deeper questioning our reactions and where they may come from. These are the things you use a hushed tone to describe or we admit to a therapist with a disclaimer of “I know this is bad to say…” with an uncomfortable thought or feeling. I hear it all the time. We ask people in therapy to talk about uncomfortable truths in our session. We have to look into our own internal bias, our uncomfortable beliefs about ourselves, other people and the world around us. It’s not easy saying an unpopular opinion or whisper a secret for fear of judgment. But today, it’s going to be an unpopular truth day. We asked for unpopular beliefs and got some answers. Today we are going to talk about some unpopular reactions or opinions and look at them openly and without judgment because what’s more human than being imperfect This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Oct 12

Why Good People Do Bad Things in Divorce

Divorce is magical. It’s the only time in adult life where a well-adjusted, yoga-practicing, rescue-dog-owning pacifist will look at an Excel spreadsheet of shared cookware and think: ‘I will literally die on this hill before they get the immersion blender. Picture the kindest, most gentle person you know. Now put them in a room with a lawyer, a split bank account, a division of assets, and the slow realization that the life they built is ending. Suddenly, the person who wouldn’t hurt a fly is filing emergency injunctions and calling their lawyer at 2:00 AM over a used couch. The human brain is capable of incredible things. It put a man on the moon. It mapped the human genome. And during a messy divorce, it will spend three consecutive hours calculating the exact monetary value of used bath towels just to spite someone. Today we talk about Why we lose our minds during a divorce It’s easy to judge divorce behavior from the outside—until you understand what fear, betrayal, and threat do to the human brain Let’s dive into the science of divorce pettyiness This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Oct 5

I Love You but Please Stop

We are social creatures built for connection to others. It’s about the 20-35 age range in Erikson’s theory of development that we are driven for intimacy versus Isolation. We pair up and play house and maybe even have some kids. And opposites attract so what brought us together initially is often times the very things that drive you crazy about that person 5-10 years in. This past week we asked people to write us about the most annoying things your partners do. Here today we get to talk about them. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Sep 28

Oversharing, Too much?

Over sharing has evolved over the years. The first time I noticed this was in the beginning phases of FB when certain friends would post every place they went to. They would check in feeling happy at Target, then feeling thirsty at Starbucks. People were living their lives on social media. This has continued to get more and more of a place people will share things that are more personal and at times uncomfortable. Oversharing on social media is timely right now. I have a friend on FB that has deteriorating mental health in a manic phase rapid fire posting up to 20 times a day their grandiose thoughts on plans to sue others, go on an international tour, start a company and are interviewing for positions, asking for money, working with government agencies to take down others, making AI posters with people they are having a problem with. This list goes on and it is painful to watch. We all have the FB friend that when you read the post you get the ick bc it is more personal than you are comfortable and can be viewed as attention seeking, the woe is me post this list could go and on. There are many reasons people engage in over sharing and most are related to anxiety. We feel like I need to say something, get ahead of this, get short term relief, share my point of view, correct the wrongs, say things I might not say in person, etc. We can also overshare when interacting with people face to face and the same phenomena happens when we get anxious. We have to fill the silence hence we start word vomiting and over share. We all have experienced the uncomfortable feeling of reading someone’s rant/feud, personal lives being played out on social media, someone’s mental health unraveling, over sharing personal information that may give you a ugh feeling. Being in the grocery store and a person you know by face not name tells you about their cheating husband, his addiction to porn and their impending divorce. I feel like over sharing happens a lot in divorces. If you wonder why people over share or are a chronic over sharer this is the episode for you bc we talk about the why and how to reign it in. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Sep 21

Wrinkles, Rolls and Reality

Did you know that at age 55 we are least satisfied with our bodies? But the issue with body image does not end when we get into middle age. Most women report their ideal body type is smaller than their actual size. Body image is connected to self worth in midlife and is no different than a teenager into young adulthood. There are significant changes in the body during midlife with 5-10 lbs of weight gain, sagging skin and wrinkles. In a study with a large sample size of 50+ studying body issues they found: * 71% were currently trying to lose weight * 79% felt that weight or shape played a “moderate” to “the most important” role in their self-concept * 70% were dissatisfied with their weight and shape compared to when they were younger * 84% were specifically dissatisfied with their stomachs When women had a higher BMI, their weight was their major complaint and women with lower BMI’s attached more dissatisfaction with their sagging skin. There are some protective factors that they found: * Being in a consistent relationship * Being in a Long-term relationship * Having children * Having job security [1] This may suggest that these factors may divert attention away from body image as a source of self worth. Today we are going to explore what can you do to expand your self worth from body perspective to a more holistic perspective. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com
Sep 14

Am I avoidant attachment disorder or has this relationship taken its course

n my 20s my social circle was large and was basically who was going out that night or was going to events I was afraid of missing. The FOMO was the driving factor. These relationships were superficial and many times I had nothing in common with these people. I would agree to anything to keep the invites coming and would work at making social outings fun. It was a complete job and felt like work. However, I loved the image of you have to invite her. She is fun. In fact back in the day Sarah, myself and our friend Laura would make it our mission to go out and be outrageous. It was super fun but not sustainable. In my mid 30s/40s I started cutting the fat with friends and kept the relationships that I found meaningful and enjoyed being around. My social events decreased and I was more particular about events I would attend however, would still go to things that were mid and still felt obligation to attend the birthday dinners, theme parties (anyone that knows me knows I hate costumes and theme parties), agreed to a couple of trips that are not my thing. I am not a Vegas girl but have been half a dozen times for parties. Now I am only doing the things that serve me and spend time with people that are positive and add to my life. I want to spend time with people that like wellness and want to talk about different wellness topics and are health minded. Sarah you found your community with horse people. I will not accept a dinner reservation past 6pm and I am not meeting at the Time Warp at 9pm to see a band, I am not hanging with a person that drains me with their negativity to not hurt their feelings. Nope. I will pull out Fungirl Abbey for a friend that means something to me and add to their 50th but at 10pm I am done. I am going to bed and I am not apologizing. Is this avoidant or healthy boundaries? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com

Abbey Samide PCC-S and Sarah Della Vella LISW are co-owners of Fit Mind Cleveland. It is our goal to make therapy and therapeutic topics understandable and available to everyone. We will explore mental health topics with humor, knowledge, insight and compassion. abbeysamide.substack.com

Creator

Abbey Samide PCC-S & Sarah Della Vella LISW
Years Active

2026
Episodes

44
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Abbey Samide
Show Website

Fit Mind Chats