🔥 Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!

Brian Mueller / Choosing Presence
  • 5.0 (1)
  • EDUCATION

Follow Me to the M-R-O-P! is a podcast for men considering the Illuman Men’s Rites of Passage (MROP). Through real, honest conversations with men who’ve been through the rites, we share what the experience is actually like—so you can discern whether this initiation is the right next step for you.

Episodes

  1. Episode #6 feat. Mark Eggenschwiller

    3D AGO

    Episode #6 feat. Mark Eggenschwiller

    What happens when a man realizes that the thing he is shrinking back from is exactly what he needs to lean into? In this ninth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mark Eggenschwiller for a powerful conversation about his 2024 initiation at Aravaipa Canyon in Arizona. Mark shares how his journey began with a mystical omen—a hawk carrying a snake across the sky—and led him into a "sacred space" of deep intimacy and vulnerability. Mark reflects on the life-changing process of identifying his core wound: the belief that "you're not enough, you must perform." He discusses how the rites helped him move beyond an identity defined by performance and "toxic masculinity" toward a higher self, rooted in pure love. Whether you are navigating the evolution of a long-term marriage or searching for the courage to face your own "shadow work," Mark’s story offers a profound look at the healing that comes from running toward your fears. Episode Highlights The Hawk and the Snake: How a mystical sighting in the Arizona sky set the stage for a transformative experience.Performance vs. Being: Identifying and contextualizing the core wound of "not being enough" and the constant need to achieve.Beyond Toxic Masculinity: Trading cultural models of dominance and conquest for the "highest calling" of love.Marriage and Agency: How shadow work helped Mark and his wife, Kate, move toward a healthier sense of autonomy and shared intimacy.Leaning into Fear: Why shrinking back is often the clearest sign that it is time to lean in and "run toward the fire." Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Mark Eggenschwiller for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    27 min
  2. Episode #5 feat. Mick Owens

    6D AGO

    Episode #5 feat. Mick Owens

    What happens when the "good son"—the man who prides himself on being the reliable family "fixer"—realizes that his identity is built on a foundation of ego and false affirmations? In this fifth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Mick Owens for a vulnerable conversation about his 2008 initiation at Pilgrim Park in Illinois. Mick, a retired teacher with over five decades of marriage, shares how he arrived at the rites carrying the heavy weight of his mother's recent stroke and a lifelong habit of trying to solve everyone else's problems. Whether you are a caregiver feeling the weight of responsibility or a man searching for the "genuine self" hidden behind cultural expectations, Mick’s story is a moving testament to the healing power of letting go. Episode Highlights The "Good Son" Trap: How being a "fixer" for his family fed Mick’s ego while leaving his soul hungry.Smashing the Mirror: The transformative moment of breaking an old image to start from scratch.Six Hours in the Woods: The discipline of the "four envelopes" and how journaling in the wilderness unlocked deep healing."Tough Nut" to Vulnerability: Moving past the insecurity of not being "man-man" enough to discover the value of a sensitive heart.A New World of Connection: How initiation reshaped his 55-year marriage and his relationship with his adult sons.Read Mick's poem: Tough Nut - https://community.illuman.org/posts/97105952 Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Mick Owens for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    28 min
  3. Episode #4 feat. Bob Colaresi

    MAR 11

    Episode #4 feat. Bob Colaresi

    What happens when a "messianic" doer—a man who prides himself on being "too proud to fail"—finally encounters the "restless emptiness" of his own soul? In this fourth episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Bob Colaresi for a deeply moving conversation about his 2005 initiation in the woods of Minnesota. Bob, a Carmelite priest for nearly 60 years, shares a vulnerable look at how the rites stripped away his "false self"—the tireless administrator and "fixer"—to reveal a man who is, above all else, the beloved of God. Bob reflects on the unexpected power of the drum, the "threatening" beauty of nature, and a profound moment of healing involving the memory of his father. He recounts the "messianic" drive that fueled his early life and how the rites shifted his perspective from seeing people as projects to seeing them as brothers to be known and loved. Whether you are a "doer" looking for deeper meaning or someone wrestling with feelings of inadequacy, Bob’s story is a powerful testament to the transformative potential of stepping into the unknown. Episode Highlights The "Restless Emptiness": Why a successful administrator and priest felt a void that work and success couldn't fill.The Power of the Drum: How a five-week labor of love from a spiritual director kept Bob from backing out."Inadequate Son": The raw moment during a grief ritual that surfaced a lifelong wound.Healing the Father Wound: A mystical encounter in the woods that transformed a memory of high expectations into a realization of unconditional love.From Fixing to Listening: How the rites transformed Bob’s relationships, moving him from control to genuine presence. Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Fr. Bob Colaresi for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    33 min
  4. Episode #3 feat. Charlie Myking

    MAR 8

    Episode #3 feat. Charlie Myking

    What happens when the cultural image of a "lumberjack" man—all power and might—no longer fits the reality of the soul? In this third episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Charlie Myking for a candid conversation about his 2018 initiation at Ghost Ranch. Charlie draws a profound parallel between the rites and his earlier experience of "hitting bottom" in recovery, describing the weekend not as a workshop, but as a necessary cycle of letting go to be filled by a power greater than himself. Charlie reflects on the rugged beauty of the New Mexico wilderness, from the fascinating simplicity of "dried buffalo dung" on a solo wander to the moment he found the "soul brother" he had been seeking for years. He shares how sitting at the table with mentors like Belden Lane and Fr. Richard Rohr helped him process the loss of his daughter and deepened his connection to a community of fellow seekers. Episode Highlights The "Bottom" Experience: Why the rites felt like the "letting go" found in recovery.The Solo Wander: Finding a soul brother and encountering the divine in the desert.Deconstruction of Masculinity: Moving past the "Paul Bunyan" model toward vulnerability.Council in Relationships: How the rites provided tools for deep, safe communication with his partner.The Elder Journey: Charlie’s perspective on moving from the Men's Rites into the Elder Rites of Passage. Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Charlie Myking for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    25 min
  5. Episode #2 feat. Dan Vanoli

    FEB 28

    Episode #2 feat. Dan Vanoli

    What happens when a man discovers that the life he has built is no longer the life his soul is asking him to live? In this second episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Dan Vanoli for a deeply honest conversation about his experience of the Men’s Rites of Passage. Dan shares how he arrived at the rites carrying anger, disappointment, and a growing awareness that something in him needed to change. What he found was not simply a retreat, but a threshold experience—an awakening that began to loosen the grip of ego and open him to humility, brotherhood, and a more grounded spiritual life. Dan reflects on the power of ritual, the stillness of the contemplative sit, the unexpected calm of drumming, and the way the rites continued working in him long after the weekend ended. He also speaks candidly about how this journey reshaped his understanding of masculinity, helped him confront patterns of ego and toxic conditioning, and led him into lasting community with other initiated men. If you’ve ever felt the quiet ache for a new direction—or sensed that real transformation might begin with surrender—this conversation is for you. Episode Highlights Why MROP became a “doorway” into a different lifeEntering the rites with fear, trust, and a hunger for changeThe impact of ritual, drumming, and the contemplative sitHow the rites challenged ego and toxic masculinityWhy brotherhood and community helped the transformation take root Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Dan Vanoli for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    26 min
  6. Episode #1 feat. Chester Trocha

    FEB 23

    Episode #1 feat. Chester Trocha

    What happens when a man crosses the threshold from striving and achievement into meaning and soul? In this first episode of Follow Me to the M-R-O-P!, host Brian Mueller sits down with Chester Trocha to talk about his experience of the Men’s Rites of Passage (MROP)—not as a lecture or abstract explanation, but as a real, personal story. Chester reflects on the impact of Pilgrim Park, the power of ritual and council, the tenderness that surfaced after the weekend, and how the rites became a “slow burn” that reshaped his inner life over time. If you’ve felt a tug in your own soul—especially at a crossroads—this conversation is for you. Episode Highlights Why MROP is an initiation, not just another retreatThe role of nature, place, and “connection”Ritual, mystery, and the power of men’s councilWhat shifted (slowly) after returning to everyday lifeHow centering prayer / the “morning sit” became foundational Links & Resources Choosing Presence (Sponsor): https://choosingpresence.orgPracticing Presence App: https://choosingpresence.org/appIlluman: https://illuman.orgIlluman MROP page: https://illuman.org/mrop2026 MROP Schedule (CA, UK, IL, NJ, TX): https://illuman.org/eventsIlluman Awaken gathering (Nov 5-8, 2026): https://illuman.org/awakenHost: https://brianmueller.com Credits First and foremost, thank you to Chester Trocha for sharing his journey and his heart with us today.Thank you to Fr. Richard Rohr and the men of Illuman who have stewarded the Men’s Rites of Passage since 1996.Thank you to Jim Heaney and Jim Taylor for their dedication to Choosing Presence. Music Credits: Slow Mo Dreams by SoundrollBecoming a Legend by Vens Adams

    26 min
  • 6 Episodes

About

Follow Me to the M-R-O-P! is a podcast for men considering the Illuman Men’s Rites of Passage (MROP). Through real, honest conversations with men who’ve been through the rites, we share what the experience is actually like—so you can discern whether this initiation is the right next step for you.

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