Barefoot Conversations

Rachel D Fox

Hey, I'm Rachel D. Fox — but you can call me Rachel. I created Barefoot Conversations because I know what it's like to wear the mask. To perform. To smile when you're falling apart inside. I know what it feels like to run from your own story because it's too heavy to carry, let alone speak out loud. I know what it's like to look in the mirror and not recognize the woman staring back — because somewhere along the way, you lost her. And I also know what it feels like to come home. To finally stop running. To let God meet you right where you are — messy, broken, tired — and hear Him say, "I've been waiting for you." The name of this podcast comes from Moses at the burning bush. Before God gave him his calling, He told him to take off his sandals. Holy ground required bare feet. Vulnerability before calling. Surrender before assignment. That's the foundation of every conversation I have here. We take off the masks. We stop performing. We get down to the truth about what it really took to come home to ourselves and to God. Each episode, I sit across from a woman who's walked through something that tried to take her out. Abuse. Addiction. Betrayal. Loss. Broken marriages. Shattered identities. Trauma that doesn't have a name. The kind of pain you don't talk about at brunch. The kind you bury so deep you convince yourself it's gone — until it isn't. And she tells me the truth. Not the cleaned-up version. Not the testimony with the pretty bow on it. The real one. The version with tears and laughter and long pauses and "I can't believe I'm saying this out loud." The version that makes you feel like you're sitting right there with us, leaning in, holding your breath, and whispering, "Me too." This isn't a self-help podcast. I'm not here to give you five steps to fix your life. I'm not here to tell you to pray harder or trust more or get over it already. I'm here to sit with you in the mess and remind you that you're not alone. That your story matters. That the woman you buried under all that pain and all those years of surviving? She's still in there. And God's not done with her yet. This podcast is for you if you've been through something that tried to break you — and you're still here. If you've been wearing the mask so long you forgot what your real face looks like. If you've been performing for everyone else and you're exhausted. If you're in the middle of a season that doesn't make sense and you just need someone to say, "I see you. I've been there. Keep going." It's for you if you grew up in the church but your faith got complicated somewhere along the way. If you love God but you've got questions. If you're not sure where you stand but you know you're searching for something real. It's for you if you've been called crazy, too much, too sensitive, too broken. If people have counted you out. If you've counted yourself out. It's for you if you're ready to stop hiding and start healing. If you're ready to reclaim the parts of yourself you thought were gone forever. If you're ready to remember who you've always been. I'm not here to preach at you. I'm here to sit with you. To hold space for you. To remind you that it's not too late. It's never too late to come home. So pull up a chair. Grab some coffee or tea. Take a deep breath. And let's have a conversation — the kind that changes something inside of you. This is Barefoot Conversations. Real women. Real stories. Real faith. No masks allowed. Let's go barefoot.

Episodes

  1. Oct 23

    "I Was on Holy Ground" | Kara's Story

    "I actually took my shoes off because I felt I was on holy ground." Kara Higgins did not know why she did it. She was standing in an unregistered orphanage at the top of a twenty minute climb in Rwanda, with a hundred children packed into one small space, and something in her knew the Holy Spirit was there. In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Kara Higgins, a midwife, a mom by birth, adoption, and foster care, and the founder of Imana Kids, which means Children of God. Kara and her husband Ryan adopted two sons from Rwanda, and years later a team they led to that orphanage changed the course of their whole family. What happened next is one of the most intense stories ever told in this chair. Kara took a Polaroid and a bag of Tootsie Roll Pops and made sure every child had a name, a photo, and a profile. Then a teenage girl told her, hours before Kara's flight home, what those children were being forced to do just to eat. For seven months Kara emailed, called, and wrote letters to every office she could find, and heard nothing. She got four girls out at midnight. And on the last day, walking down that mountain with the children crying behind her, she turned around to find a row of SUVs and a group of people in suits. One of them asked if she was Kara. "I just got your email today." We talk about the perfectionism God stripped out of her in one decision, why she is the lucky one, what those children taught her about joy as a form of resistance, and the one thing that does not change no matter how many hats she wears. She is just God's daughter. If God has planted something in your heart and you are afraid to say yes, pull up a chair. Kara has a word for you. A gentle note before you listen: this conversation includes the trafficking and exploitation of children. Kara speaks about it with care and without graphic detail, and it ends in rescue. Please take good care of your heart. IN THIS EPISODE - Why biology had very little to do with how her family was built - Going to Rwanda on their own terms, and refusing to show up as colonizers - The orphanage at the top of the mountain, and taking off her shoes before she knew why - Seven months of emails, a midnight escape, and the day help finally came - What it means for a child to be seen and known by name - The perfectionism God stripped away in a single decision - Why resilience is sacred, and why she is just God's daughter ABOUT KARA HIGGINS Kara Higgins is a midwife, a mom through birth, adoption, and foster care, and the founder of Imana Kids, an educational sponsorship ministry for street kids and orphans in Kigali, Rwanda. Imana Kids matches American families with children by name, and the connection between them is the whole point. Kara also coaches families and caregivers in trauma informed parenting. Find Imana Kids at www.imanakids.org. CONNECT Kara: www.imanakids.org | Instagram: [confirm Kara's Wholehearted Space handle] Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

  2. Sep 27

    "I Was Addicted to Helping People" | Mishala's Story

    "I was addicted to helping people." Mishala Lewis says it out loud about halfway through this conversation, and once she does, her whole life reads differently. In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Mishala Lewis, an event planner, community builder, and the oldest daughter of a single parent household. She cooked, she cleaned, she raised her siblings, and when there was not enough food she let them eat and took whatever was left. Sometimes that was nothing. Nobody called it leadership training at the time. It was just what the oldest girl did. We talk about what that becomes in a grown woman. The gym bathroom where a stranger was just venting and Mishala was already texting people about car parts with money she did not have. The jobs with the title and the salary and the benefits that still left her empty. The relationships she stayed in because she could see the potential and thought she could fix it. And then there is the moment that stopped her. Freshman year of college, in the back seat without her seatbelt, the driver loses control, and she is looking over an elevated interstate bridge thinking, well God, this looks like the end. What she said to Him in that second is the most honest prayer I have heard on this show. She woke up on the road a few feet from the car, and the first thing she did was get up and go check on everybody else. She is different now. She has a word for this year, she has a brunch she is building for women who are healing, and she has a challenge she is two days into. If you have been everybody's fixer, everybody's backbone, the one who always has it handled, pull up a chair. Mishala has a word for you. CHAPTERS (optional, supported by Apple Podcasts and Spotify) 00:00 "I was addicted to helping people" 00:53 Why she started 75 Hard: "I'm shedding" 02:08 How the two of us found each other 03:05 The oldest daughter in a single parent house 04:07 Telling the story with grace for her mom 05:04 The leadership it was quietly building 05:40 Giving up a full scholarship to go serve 06:26 Choosing happiness over the money 07:38 Sacrificing her health for everybody else's peace 08:50 The woman in the gym bathroom 09:40 The moment she admitted she had a problem 10:33 Believing she had to do the most to be known 11:04 When you just want to vent, not be fixed 12:30 Boundaries, and the friction of a new you 14:52 The night she was ejected from the car 16:26 Getting up to check on everyone else 17:05 Brain swelling, and telling jokes in the hospital 18:24 What she said to God on that bridge 19:58 What changed in her afterward 20:09 Starting Resilient Women of Color 22:16 Building something with no experience 23:09 Letting go of what was never meant for her 25:47 Walking away from safe and predictable 26:42 What the layoff taught her about her worth 27:54 Staying in relationships she knew to leave 31:56 Did she ever bury the creator in her 33:32 Her exit cue, and how she stopped shrinking 35:23 When helping someone becomes a project 36:39 To the woman still chasing the paycheck 38:50 Your purpose can get you paid 41:13 Finding God without growing up in church 44:32 We are the church, not the building 46:13 Nerves, and why the real you is the point 48:14 Her word for this year: living 49:38 The Resilience Brunch 52:35 Healing with community, music, and movement 54:52 Her message to the woman who gives it all away 55:28 Going barefoot

  3. Sep 5

    "Don't Leave Me Like This" | Desire's Story

    "God, please don't leave me like this." She prayed it standing in an office at work, with tears running and no idea what to do with the gap between the woman everybody saw and the woman she actually was. In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with Desire, a teacher, a mother, a wife, and a woman who spent years being everybody else because the real her had been rejected before. We talk about what it costs to perform a life. The posts that say family first while your own house is falling apart. The version of yourself you build out of what other people clapped for. The rejection that got planted so early she can trace it back to a game of school with her cousins. Desire is honest in a way that is rare. She talks about the mentor who told her, you are not coming off as nice as you think you are, and what it was like to actually hear it. She talks about the picture God gave her of a person who looked fine on the outside while something else was living on the inside. She talks about the boundary she finally set with her own father, and what he did with it that she never expected. And then there is the other side of it. Five years of surrender. A clean room. A dream about a stadium and a row of seats she had to empty. A movie role she did not go looking for. A mission trip to South Africa. And a word for the woman still hiding: there is no other you. If you have ever put on a face to be accepted, or worn so many of them you cannot remember which one is yours, pull up a chair. This one is for you. IN THIS EPISODE - Why the mask goes on in the first place, and how early it starts - The difference between people pleasing and God pleasing - Setting a boundary with the person you most want to make proud - What it sounds like when God shows you yourself and you do not look away - Spiritual bypassing, and why God can handle your anger - The season of separating, and the people who cannot come where you are going - The art of obedience, and what obedience opened up for her ABOUT DESIRE Desire is a teacher, wife, and mother who spent seven years as a family teacher at Boys Town before God started rebuilding how she shows up at home, at work, and in the room. She is stepping into a film role, heading to South Africa on mission, and telling the truth about all of it. Find her at [add Desire's Instagram or website]. CONNECT Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story. Rachel D. Fox, DSL

  4. Aug 5

    "I'm Built for This" | Kiya's Story

    "I'm built for this." That is what Kiya says now, and by the end of this conversation you will understand what it cost her to be able to mean it.   In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with my friend Kiya, a photographer, a dancer, and one of the most tender and self aware young women I know. For most of her life she was the strong friend, the one everybody leaned on, the happy face in the room who was quietly carrying far more than anyone knew.   We talk about where that armor came from, the wounds that taught her she could never break, and the generational trauma she decided to stop passing down. She is honest about her mental health journey, about the seasons that pulled her into the dark, and the night in a closet when she asked God to take her and woke up certain she had been kept here on purpose.   This one is tender in places, and it is full of hope. Kiya talks about choosing herself, laying down what was never hers to carry, doing the scary thing while she was still scared, and the words that carry her now: I'm built for this.   If you have ever been the strong one, the person who holds it together for everyone else, pull up a chair. Kiya has a word for you.   A gentle note before you listen: this conversation includes honest talk about depression, self harm, and suicide. Please take good care of your heart. If you are struggling, you are not alone and you do not have to carry it by yourself. In the US you can call or text 988 any time to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.   IN THIS EPISODE - Why the strong friend so often carries what nobody sees - The wound that taught her never to break, and how she started to heal it - Choosing to stop passing down generational trauma - Healing the little girl still standing in the mirror - The night in the closet, and waking up sure she was kept here on purpose - Doing it scared: how fear and faith live in the same room - The words that carry her now, I'm built for this   ABOUT KAYA Kiya is a photographer and dancer who speaks openly about mental health, healing, and faith so that other people know they are not alone. Find her at [add Kiya's Instagram or website].   CONNECT Kiya: @nhimagesphotography Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com   If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.

  5. Jun 26

    The Thing That Was Worse Than Cancer | Kat's Story

    Some stories make you wonder how one person carried all of it and still kept her faith. This is one of those.   In this episode of Barefoot Conversations, I sit down with my friend Kat, a breast cancer survivor, author, and trauma coach. Eighteen years ago she heard the three words nobody wants to hear: you have cancer. What she learned in that fight became the very thing that carried her through a season she calls harder than cancer itself.   We get into the kind of betrayal that rearranges a person, what happens in the body and the brain when the hard things keep stacking up, forgiveness that has to be spoken more than once, and the question that changed everything for her: am I being punished, or have I been chosen?   Kat does not tie it up with a bow. She is still walking it out, scars and all. But by the end she has a word for anyone sitting in a hard place: there is help, there is healing, and you are not nearly as alone as you have been told.   If you have ever wondered where God was in your hardest season, pull up a chair. This one is for you.   A gentle heads up: this conversation touches on illness, loss, and seasons of deep struggle. Take good care of your heart as you listen.   IN THIS EPISODE - Why the lessons of cancer became the tools that carried her through what came next - Forgiveness as a daily practice, not a one time decision - How trauma that nobody names still shows up in the body - Where faith and the science of the brain finally meet - The Job and Joseph question: punished, or chosen? - A message of hope for anyone suffering in silence   ABOUT KAT Kat is a breast cancer survivor, author, and trauma coach who walks with people through grief, betrayal, and the hard work of healing. Her devotional, Breast Cancer Radiant, was born out of her own treatment. Learn more at coachwithpurepeace.com.   CONNECT Kat: coachwithpurepeace.com Rachel: www.racheldfox.com | rachel@racheldfox.com   If this episode met you somewhere, share it with one person who needs it today, and follow Barefoot Conversations so you never miss a story.   Rachel D. Fox, DSL   CHAPTERS (optional, supported by Apple Podcasts and Spotify) 00:00 The three words no one wants to hear 01:17 A typical suburban mom, then a diagnosis 03:18 Three weeks after radiation 05:43 The trauma no one named 08:32 The hard work of forgiveness 10:45 Why she speaks forgiveness out loud 12:40 When radiation became radiant 15:54 The book that came from the table 16:20 Keeping life normal for the kids 19:23 A neurobiological break in trust 20:13 Betrayal again, and nowhere to go 25:03 When the body keeps the score 29:32 Can you lose trust that God is good? 32:16 When the church is not equipped for real pain 34:08 Where faith meets the science of the brain 38:59 Punished, or chosen? 41:36 A masterpiece in the making 46:04 Why she is telling this story now 48:02 Her message to you: there is hope 51:52 Where to find Kat

  6. May 29

    She Survived, Then She Rose: Surviving, Getting Sober, and Building a Ministry - Julie's Story

    Julie Shrader knows what it is to survive. Exploitation, abuse, homelessness, years lost to alcohol, and a voice in her own head telling her she was trash. In this episode, she sits down with me and tells the whole truth about how a trafficking survivor becomes a woman who founds a ministry to help set other women free. We talk about the day she heard God say "Julie, I told you to stop," and how 14 years of sobriety started not with willpower but with obedience. We get into the part nobody warns you about, that getting saved is not the end of the struggle, it is the beginning of the journey. Julie shares the tear that rolled down her father's face on his deathbed, the wrestling season that felt a whole lot like Jacob, and the gut punch of losing a ministry she poured 12 years of her life into. Then we get to the new thing. Innocence Freed. Same heart, same mission, brand new wineskin, including a free boutique where trafficking survivors of every age can come shop in private and feel human again. If you have ever felt like you were too far gone, too messed up, or too late in life for God to use you, pull up a chair. This is one to sit with. Listen, then share it with one person who needs to hear it today. A note for listeners: this conversation touches on abuse, addiction, and human trafficking. If you or someone you love is in danger, you are not alone and help exists. In the U.S. you can reach the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888, or text 233733.

About

Hey, I'm Rachel D. Fox — but you can call me Rachel. I created Barefoot Conversations because I know what it's like to wear the mask. To perform. To smile when you're falling apart inside. I know what it feels like to run from your own story because it's too heavy to carry, let alone speak out loud. I know what it's like to look in the mirror and not recognize the woman staring back — because somewhere along the way, you lost her. And I also know what it feels like to come home. To finally stop running. To let God meet you right where you are — messy, broken, tired — and hear Him say, "I've been waiting for you." The name of this podcast comes from Moses at the burning bush. Before God gave him his calling, He told him to take off his sandals. Holy ground required bare feet. Vulnerability before calling. Surrender before assignment. That's the foundation of every conversation I have here. We take off the masks. We stop performing. We get down to the truth about what it really took to come home to ourselves and to God. Each episode, I sit across from a woman who's walked through something that tried to take her out. Abuse. Addiction. Betrayal. Loss. Broken marriages. Shattered identities. Trauma that doesn't have a name. The kind of pain you don't talk about at brunch. The kind you bury so deep you convince yourself it's gone — until it isn't. And she tells me the truth. Not the cleaned-up version. Not the testimony with the pretty bow on it. The real one. The version with tears and laughter and long pauses and "I can't believe I'm saying this out loud." The version that makes you feel like you're sitting right there with us, leaning in, holding your breath, and whispering, "Me too." This isn't a self-help podcast. I'm not here to give you five steps to fix your life. I'm not here to tell you to pray harder or trust more or get over it already. I'm here to sit with you in the mess and remind you that you're not alone. That your story matters. That the woman you buried under all that pain and all those years of surviving? She's still in there. And God's not done with her yet. This podcast is for you if you've been through something that tried to break you — and you're still here. If you've been wearing the mask so long you forgot what your real face looks like. If you've been performing for everyone else and you're exhausted. If you're in the middle of a season that doesn't make sense and you just need someone to say, "I see you. I've been there. Keep going." It's for you if you grew up in the church but your faith got complicated somewhere along the way. If you love God but you've got questions. If you're not sure where you stand but you know you're searching for something real. It's for you if you've been called crazy, too much, too sensitive, too broken. If people have counted you out. If you've counted yourself out. It's for you if you're ready to stop hiding and start healing. If you're ready to reclaim the parts of yourself you thought were gone forever. If you're ready to remember who you've always been. I'm not here to preach at you. I'm here to sit with you. To hold space for you. To remind you that it's not too late. It's never too late to come home. So pull up a chair. Grab some coffee or tea. Take a deep breath. And let's have a conversation — the kind that changes something inside of you. This is Barefoot Conversations. Real women. Real stories. Real faith. No masks allowed. Let's go barefoot.