Queers with Accents

Masaki Seto
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  • Sexuality
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This podcasts features Japanese queer writer and ESL educator Masaki Seto and his fellow queer ESL speakers, mostly from/based in Japan, discussing social justice and a variety of other topics.

  1. Aug 24

    [026] Burning Man Haircuts, Social Withdrawal, and Pathologization of Everyday Behavior

    In this episode, Kinoko debuts a drastic new haircut in preparation for Burning Man, where desert conditions and scarce water make showers a luxury. This sparks a natural dive into English grammar, as Masaki breaks down the causative structures behind having something done, from getting a haircut to managing complex sentence patterns. The hosts also touch on the quirks of countable nouns in English, contrasting how native speakers count insects but not sheep.The conversation then shifts from drive-thru culture in regional Japan versus Tokyo's crowded metropolitan area to a deep discussion on language and society. Exploring the Japanese concept of hikikomori, Masaki and Kinoko examine the English term social withdrawal, the mechanics of transitive and intransitive verbs, and the modern tendency to pathologize everyday social behavior. They weigh the double-edged sword of clinical labels, discussing how pathologizing language can raise awareness while unintentionally reinforcing narrow ideas of health.・New Haircut for Burning Man: Kinoko debuts her short hairstyle for her upcoming trip to Burning Man, explaining how scarce water in the desert makes long hair impractical.・Grammar Spotlight - Having Things Done: Masaki breaks down causative structures like getting or having a haircut, explaining how adjectives, participles, and prepositions describe states of being.・Drive-Thru Culture & Tokyo Space: A comparison of drive-thru habits in suburban Tochigi versus metropolitan Tokyo, where scarce land makes drive-thru restaurants rare.・Translating Hikikomori & Social Withdrawal: Exploring how English handles social isolation, dissecting the verb withdraw across its transitive and intransitive forms.・The Craze of Pathologizing Language: Kinoko and Masaki critique society's habit of pathologizing social trends, discussing how psychological labels can both aid medical access and create harmful stigmas.Announcements:・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse!Links:・Kinoko-san’s X: x.com/kinoko1027・Kinoko-san’s blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/・Her book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA・Her interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196

  2. Aug 21

    [025] Dietary Shifts, Body Positivity, and the History of Love Hotels

    In this episode, Masaki and Kinoko catch up over breakfast updates and changing personal habits. Kinoko shares a cozy morning story about a sharehouse guest preparing a traditional Japanese breakfast of sunny-side up eggs, cabbage salad, miso soup, and barley tea. This leads Masaki to reflect on his recent decision at age 41 to change his eating habits and treat his body with more care, sharing a humorous story about his 96-year-old grandmother's late-night fried chicken appetite and how eating less has already yielded health benefits. The conversation then shifts into a deep exploration of body positivity, fashion accessibility, and adult social spaces. Masaki discusses his journey toward developing physical self-esteem, embracing a sturdy and bulky frame over a skinny aesthetic, and how appreciating his own body expanded his romantic preferences. From dissecting the history of Japanese love hotels and public adult spaces to breaking down useful English terms like wobbly, byproduct, and repertoire, the hosts bring their signature blend of cultural insight and casual vocabulary learning. ・Clumsy Notifications & Breakfast Habits: Masaki and Kinoko discuss starting the recording session on short notice, defining clumsy, while Kinoko shares a cozy story about her sharehouse guest cooking a traditional Japanese breakfast with barley tea. ・Genetic Appetites & Dietary Changes: Masaki reflects on turning 41 and shifting his diet to be kinder to his stomach, recalling how his 96-year-old grandmother could eat midnight fried chicken before becoming bedridden. ・Body Positivity & Type Expansion: A candid look at building physical self-esteem, with Masaki explaining how learning to appreciate his own body improved his experience of sex and expanded his romantic preferences toward bigger body types. ・Vocab Corner - Bulky, Sturdy, and Wobbly: Masaki breaks down key descriptive adjectives, comparing bulky (size and mass) with sturdy (strength and durability) while defining wobbly for unsteady shapes or synth sounds. ・Fashion Communism & Custom Cosplay: Exploring clothing size struggles from XS to 8L in Japan, leading into a sweet story about an elderly relative using sewing skills to craft complex goth-lolita cosplay outfits for her granddaughter. ・History of Love Hotels & Happening Bars: Kinoko shares updates on going on a date at a Shinjuku happening bar, sparking a conversation on how extended family living arrangements birthed Japan's love hotel industry and public adult spaces. Announcements: ・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse! Links: ・Kinoko-san’s X: x.com/kinoko1027 ・Kinoko-san’s blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ ・Her book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA ・Her interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196

  3. Aug 3

    [024] The Half-Year Lie and Ethical Non-Monogamy

    In this episode, Kinoko updates Masaki on a shocking plot twist regarding her recent breakup: her ex revealed he was actually divorced prior to meeting her and lied about being married for their entire half-year relationship. He claimed he lied to protect himself from being played as a "toy boy," leaving Kinoko baffled by the absurdity of his logic. Masaki and Kinoko dissect this major breach of trust, highlighting how a six-month lie fundamentally violates the consent and transparency required in ethical polyamory.The conversation then broadens into a lively linguistic and philosophical debate about honesty, relationship categories, and boundaries. Masaki shares a funny story about struggling to tell polite lies when a party guest asked for feedback on an unflattering outfit, leading into a breakdown of terms like "demanding" and self-contradictory logic. The hosts also contrast casual "f**k buddies" with "friends with benefits" and recurring partnerships across different social spheres, concluding with Masaki advising Kinoko to approach her upcoming meeting with her ex like an objective interviewer.・The Shocking Divorce Confession: Kinoko reveals her ex dropped a bombshell by claiming he was divorced before they met, having lied about being married for six months out of fear of being treated as a "toy boy."・Ethical Non-Monogamy vs. Unethical Lying: Masaki and Kinoko analyze the self-contradictory nature of her ex's excuse, emphasizing that trust, consent, and honesty are the essential foundations of polyamory.・The Dilemma of White Lies: A humorous discussion on honesty where Masaki shares a party anecdote about refusing to offer fake compliments, leading to a breakdown of terms like "demanding" and "harmless lies."・Fuck Buddies vs. Friends with Benefits: The hosts dissect relationship nuances, contrasting pure physical arrangements with "friends with benefits" and sustainable, recurring connections that require deep mutual trust.・Underground Spaces vs. Out in the World: Kinoko explains that anonymous, low-information encounters work fine in happening bars or sex-positive events, but ongoing relationships out in the world demand openness.・Idiom Spotlight - The Interviewer Mindset: Masaki advises Kinoko to take on the role of an objective interviewer when meeting her ex to hear his story, gathering information without rushing into decisions.Announcements:・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse!Links:・Kinoko-san’s X: x.com/kinoko1027・Kinoko-san’s blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/・Her book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA・Her interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196

  4. Aug 2

    [023] Post-Breakup Texts, Childhood Coping, and the Nuance of Distraction

    In this episode, Kinoko checks in from Fukuoka after receiving a post-breakup text message from her ex-partner asking to "be friends." Kinoko and Masaki discuss the ambiguity of staying friends with an ex, especially when navigating shared community spaces like Burning Japan. From examining the need for face-to-face closure to defining what "bare minimum" boundaries look like, the hosts explore the emotional work required to transition out of romantic partnerships healthily.The conversation then deepens as Kinoko envisions her ideal polyamorous scenario—one built on open family communication rather than secrecy. This prompts a reflection on how children perceive tension within families, leading Kinoko to share a poignant childhood memory of studying hard to cope with her parents' constant fighting. Finally, Masaki and Kinoko break down key English terms and idioms around boundaries, breakup dynamics, and managing attention.・Navigating Post-Breakup Texts: Kinoko shares her confusion after her ex messaged asking to stay friends, leading to a discussion on what "friends" means when transitioning out of a relationship.・Community & Boundaries: Since Kinoko and her ex belong to the same Burning Japan fire performance team, Masaki and Kinoko talk about avoiding awkwardness, setting the "bare minimum" boundary of no sex, and needing face-to-face closure.・Ideal Polyamory vs. Family Secrecy: Kinoko describes her ideal polyamorous dynamic where partners communicate transparently with their spouses and families rather than hiding relationships.・Childhood Coping Mechanisms: Kinoko reflects on growing up with parents who fought daily, sharing how she studied intensely as a child in hopes of stopping their conflict and as a way to cope.・Vocab Spotlight - Bare Minimum & Closure: Masaki and Kinoko break down essential English phrases including "bare minimum" for establishing basic boundaries and "closure" for resolving emotional chapters.・Vocab Spotlight - Distraction vs. Diverting Attention: A linguistic deep dive into the difference between being disturbed by noise, seeking a "distraction," and intentionally "diverting your attention" to cope with stress.Announcements:・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse!Links:・Kinoko-san’s X: x.com/kinoko1027・Kinoko-san’s blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/・Her book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA・Her interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196

  5. Jul 31

    [022] Queer Mental Health, Ableism, and the Myth of the Majority

    In this episode, Masaki and Kinoko wrap up their three-part guest series with sociologist Kasumi (Rero-san) to explore the complex intersection of mental health and queer identity. Kasumi shares her personal journey dealing with adjustment disorder and depression, describing how physical and emotional burnout disrupted her research and daily life. The trio dives into the frustrating realities of seeking psychological care, discussing the harm of encountering uninformed or prejudiced therapists who dismiss non-normative relationship styles or gender identities as immaturity.The conversation then expands to address broader systemic barriers, from overt ableism in dating app bios to accessibility challenges within physical community spaces. Kinoko reflects on the delicate balance between managing her inclusive Tokyo sharehouse and navigating the financial realities of rent, prompting a debate on how classism and ableism intersect in queer event organizing. Finally, the group dismantles the concept of a societal majority, emphasizing that when intersectional struggles are accounted for, creating truly accessible, structured spaces benefits everyone.・Depression and Academic Burnout: Kasumi opens up about her diagnosis of adjustment disorder and depression, detailing the physical toll of severe fatigue on her research and social life.・Microaggressions in Therapy: The hosts critique harmful experiences with psychological care, highlighting how insensitive therapists can inflict microaggressions on closeted or non-normative patients.・Ableism on Dating Platforms: A candid reaction to dating app bios that explicitly exclude people with mental health conditions, calling out the need for greater empathy and better phrasing.・Sharehouses, Classism, and Accessibility: Kinoko discusses the financial realities of running an inclusive sharehouse in Minowa, exploring how rent requirements and physical venue barriers like stairs intersect with ableism.・Structuring Inclusive Spaces: Discussing how extroverts can unintentionally dominate queer social events, emphasizing the importance of structured systems where every participant gets an equal turn to speak.・The Myth of the Majority: Masaki and Kinoko reflect on intersectionality, arguing that once individual hardships are mapped out, the idea of a privileged majority becomes a tiny minority.Announcements:・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! Kinoko's sharehouse near Minowa Station (just two stops from Ueno) is currently looking for two new residents! If you are seeking an affordable, flexible, and inclusive place to live in Tokyo, check out Kinoko's sharehouse!Kinoko's Links:・X: x.com/kinoko1027・blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/・book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA・interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196Kasumi's (Rero-san's) Links:・X: x.com/rero70・Research map: https://researchmap.jp/kasuminakamura

  6. Jul 28

    [021] Queer and Neurodivergent in Japan (guest: Kasumi Nakamura)

    In this episode, Masaki and Kinoko continue their three-part series with sociologist Kasumi (Rero-san) to explore the intersection of being queer and neurodivergent in Japan. The trio opens up about their personal identities and neurodivergent traits, ranging from Masaki's undiagnosed ADHD and Kasumi's gray-area WAIS test results to Kinoko's ASD diagnosis and disability ID card perks. Together, they reflect on how existing outside societal norms of neurotypicality made accepting their queer identities feel like a natural extension rather than a leap.The discussion deepens into the challenges of navigating queer social spaces while neurodivergent. From sensory overload and non-verbal dating cues in loud bars to overthinking conversation dynamics, the hosts highlight how intersecting minority identities can create unique barriers. They also examine community pressures, discussing the difficulty of being an asexual gay man, the monogamy-centric hierarchy in Japanese lesbian spaces, and the empowering slogan that single lesbians remain valid.・Personal Identities & Neurodivergence: Masaki, Kinoko, and Kasumi share their queer orientations alongside their neurodivergent traits, discussing ADHD attention scores, ASD diagnoses, and WAIS testing experiences.・Disruption as a Common Thread: The hosts explore how being neurodivergent naturally disrupts societal expectations of normal, making it easier to resist traditional norms and embrace polyamorous, genderqueer, or non-normative lifestyles.・Navigating Loud Spaces & Non-Verbal Cues: Kasumi and Masaki discuss the difficulty of reading the room or picking up on non-verbal dating signals in loud lesbian clubs and gay bars due to sensory and processing challenges.・Intersectionality & Asexuality in Queer Spaces: Masaki reflects on the challenges of navigating gay spaces when disinterested in sex, while Kasumi critiques the partnership-centric hierarchy within Japanese lesbian spaces.・Single Lesbians & Community Slogans: Kasumi highlights the slogan that single lesbians are still lesbians, challenging the idea that romantic partnership determines a person's standing within queer communities.Announcements:・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse!Kinoko's Links:・X: x.com/kinoko1027・blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/・book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA・interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196Kasumi's (Rero-san's) Links:・X: x.com/rero70・Research map: https://researchmap.jp/kasuminakamura

  7. Jul 26

    [020] Quoiromanticism, Polyamory, and What Makes a Relationship Romantic (guest: Kasumi Nakamura)

    In this episode, Masaki and Kinoko welcome their very first podcast guest, Kasumi (also known as Rero-san), a sociologist specializing in culture and gender, and the author of the Quoiromantic Manifesto. Kicking off the first installment of a special structured three-part discussion, the trio dives straight into a fundamental question: what actually makes a relationship romantic? Kinoko and Kasumi break down the definitions of polyamory and quoiromanticism, exploring what it means to feel unsure of or disconnected from traditional romantic attraction. The conversation then moves into a comparison between alo-romantic experiences and non-hierarchical relationship styles. From analyzing how different people choose partners—whether based on physical traits, verbal communication skills, or shared values—to questioning society's strict relationship hierarchies, the hosts dismantle the idea that romantic partners must automatically rank above friends. Finally, they explore the separation between romantic and sexual attraction, discussing how sexual contact can range from a deep emotional connection to simply a casual shared activity akin to karaoke or bowling. ・Introducing Kasumi & The Quoiromantic Manifesto: Sociologist Kasumi joins as the show's first guest to discuss her work, explaining quoiromanticism as an orientation where traditional concepts of romantic attraction feel confusing or inapplicable. ・Polyamory & Informed Consent: Kinoko revisits the core definition of polyamory as an ethical relationship structure involving multiple partners, emphasizing that full consent, transparency, and communication are what separate polyamory from cheating. ・Criteria for Partnership: Masaki, Kasumi, and Kinoko compare what makes someone a good candidate for a relationship, contrasting Masaki's visual attraction preferences with Kasumi's focus on clear verbal communication over non-verbal cues. ・Dismantling Relationship Hierarchies: Kinoko shares her philosophy on treating friends and romantic partners as equals rather than placing partners at the top, using her famous heart as a sharehouse metaphor to explain having room for multiple people. ・Japanese Dating Culture vs. Going Exclusive: The hosts dissect the linguistic and cultural gaps between the Japanese concept of suki and Western dating norms, exploring how formal relationship confessions function almost like contracts. ・Sex as an Activity vs. Romance: A candid look at the distinction between sexual and romantic attraction, where Kasumi explains viewing sexual contact as simply one of many social activities—like karaoke or bowling—rather than an inherently romantic act. Annoucements: ・Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse! Kinoko's Links: ・X: x.com/kinoko1027 ・blog: ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ ・book: amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA ・interview: news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196 Kasumi's (Rero-san's) Links: ・X: x.com/rero70 ・Research map: https://researchmap.jp/kasuminakamura

  8. Jul 24

    [019] Heartbreaks, Fluidity, and the Learning Curve of Desire

    Episode Summary In this episode, Masaki catches up with Kinoko, who has just returned to Fukuoka and is processing a fresh emotional heartbreak. Kinoko opens up about ending things with a married partner after half a year due to his refusal to be honest or transparent about his situation. This leads to a candid discussion about the stark difference between genuine polyamory and simple infidelity, as well as the emotional toll of unfulfilled promises. The conversation naturally shifts toward the complexities of human attraction, sexual fluidity, and relationship structures. Masaki shares his own personal evolution from demisexuality—where attraction was tied strictly to personality and presentation—to learning how to appreciate physical form. Together, the hosts explore how sexual orientations and desires can shift over time, dissecting everything from open relationship dynamics to the hilarious cultural learning curves of navigating new dating spheres. Polyamory vs. Cheating: Kinoko reflects on ending a half-year relationship with a married partner who claimed to be “polyamorous” while actively hiding it from his spouse. Masaki and Kinoko clarify that polyamory requires consent, openness, and sincerity, whereas secrecy is just cheating. The Weight of “Insincere” Relationships: Kinoko discusses the frustration of partners who live strictly in the “here and now” without respecting plans or boundaries, emphasizing that going with the flow shouldn’t be an excuse for being insincere. Awkward Social Boundaries: Navigating shared community spaces after a breakup. Masaki defines the term “awkward” using a funny karaoke room analogy to explain the subtle discomfort of bumping into exes in tight-knit social circles. Demisexuality & Evolving Attraction: Masaki opens up about his journey from demisexuality (attraction based on personality rather than physical bodies) to intentionally training himself to find physical form attractive. Fluctuating & Fluid Orientations: A discussion on “zigzag bisexuality” and how sexual and romantic orientations can evolve over time. The hosts agree that while sexuality shouldn’t be forced, allowing oneself to adapt and change naturally is part of life. Idiom Spotlight - Learn the Ropes: Masaki introduces the phrase “learn the ropes”—meaning to learn the basics or procedures of a new task or environment—while discussing what it feels like to step into unfamiliar dating territories. Tokyo Sharehouse Opening! If you or someone you know is looking for an affordable, flexible, short-term housing option in Tokyo without the massive hotel bills or strict apartment lease rules, check out Kinoko’s sharehouse! Kinoko-san’s X: https://x.com/kinoko1027⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Kinoko-san’s blog: https://ameblo.jp/kinoko1027ameba/ Her book: https://amzn.asia/d/0gusbsvA Her interview: https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/ad17531bef6f9307a429f45f450a9fb2817f8196

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About

This podcasts features Japanese queer writer and ESL educator Masaki Seto and his fellow queer ESL speakers, mostly from/based in Japan, discussing social justice and a variety of other topics.

Information

  • Creator
    Masaki Seto
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    26
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Masaki Seto
  • Show Website
    Queers with Accents

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