What You Took Back Podcast

Skye Underhill
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

Most people aren’t living unconsciously — they’re living conditioned. They’ve adapted. Softened. Over-functioned. Stayed agreeable. Played roles that once kept the peace but slowly cost them their authority. This podcast is about taking that authority back. Through sharp insights, honest reflection, and practical frameworks like the Power Receipt Method™, each episode challenges approval patterns, emotional reactivity, weak boundaries, and borrowed identities — replacing them with clarity, standards, and internal leadership. This isn’t self-help in soft focus. It’s structured self-reclamation. If you’re ready to stop performing and start operating from your own centre, you’re in the right place.

  1. 2d ago

    Episode. 24 "What Would Get You Out Of Bed If No One Needed You."

    If you didn't have anyone needing anything from you tomorrow morning, what would actually get you out of bed? Not your job, not the school run, not the list. The real version. For a lot of us, that question goes very quiet, very fast. I did all the work — found myself again, built an identity separate from wife, separate from mother, separate from everyone. And then I woke up one morning and thought, okay... now what? Turns out there's a second wall right behind the first one. I knew who I was again. I still didn't know what I was for. What actually shifted it wasn't dramatic. It was one conversation, at a kitchen table, with a woman who said, "I don't even know how to explain what's wrong. I just feel like I disappeared somewhere." That conversation — not a business plan, a kitchen table — is the honest, unglamorous reason this podcast exists. In this episode: Real research from Carleton University showing a strong sense of purpose predicts a measurably lower risk of death, regardless of age — this isn't a soft finding, it's a genuine risk factor Why purpose disappears so fast for so many women — because it was never built, it was borrowed from a role with an expiry date A two-part exercise for finding your own direction, without needing to "find your calling" by Friday Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up, and if you're ready to go deeper, The Noticing and The Awakening are both built for exactly this kind of rebuilding at https://whatyoutookback.com/programs/ What will you be taking back? 🎙️

    Episode. 24 "What Would Get You Out Of Bed If No One Needed You."

  2. Aug 11

    Episode. 23 "My Identity Belonged to Everyone Except Me."

    I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing. Picture it. You're at a function, glass of average chardonnay in hand, and someone you barely know asks, completely innocently, "So what do you do for yourself?" Go on, actually put yourself there for a second, and notice what comes up when you try to answer. For many, many years, I could not have told you who I was. Underneath all the roles, there was grief, old trauma, heartaches I'd never let myself feel all the way through. On top of that, I did everything society hands you as the blueprint — work hard, buy the house, get married, have the kids, be the good wife. That's the mould. I poured every part of myself into it until, by my thirties, I felt like I was about to explode. My identity belonged to my husband. My kids. My parents. My friends. Every single person except me. This episode walks through the frozen, non-answer moment near a plate of sausage rolls at a school carnival that showed me exactly what needed finding — and the ordinary morning, two years into being a divorcee, that became the real beginning of taking myself back. In this episode: Why some women survive the empty nest and others feel like they've lost a limb Self-complexity theory — the real psychology behind why one role holding your whole identity leaves you so exposed The "bucket" test for telling a real hobby from another chore wearing a nicer outfit One small, deliberately useless thing to build this week, with zero justification required Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up, and if you're ready to go deeper, The Noticing and The Awakening are both built for exactly this kind of rebuilding. What will you be taking back? 🎙️

    Episode. 23 "My Identity Belonged to Everyone Except Me."

  3. Aug 4

    Episode. 22 "I was Someone Before Mum. I Can't Remember Her."

    I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing. Before you read another word, answer this honestly: what did you love, before anyone needed something from you? Not what you're good at now. Not what keeps the house running. What you loved — quietly, for no reason except that it was yours. I became a mother young enough that I never really got a version of myself before it happened. For years I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't grieve "the woman I was before I became a mum" the way I heard other women describe grieving her. Here's what I finally understood: you can't lose a version of yourself you never got the chance to finish building. This opens a brand new series — Motherhood, Identity, Purpose, Rediscovering Yourself — and it starts with the truest thing I've said on this show yet. In this episode: Why motherhood was never supposed to be the whole house — just one room in it The real difference between losing yourself and never getting the chance to build her Why "building the rest of the house" is the actual work of this whole month, starting today Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up, and if you're ready to go deeper, The Noticing and The Awakening are both built to help you find the rest of the rooms. Checklist here What have you taken back? 🎙️

    Episode. 22 "I was Someone Before Mum. I Can't Remember Her."

  4. Jul 28

    Episode. 21 "I Trusted Myself With Everyone Else's Life But Not my Own."

    I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing. I made a hundred decisions a day without a second thought — what they ate, what they wore, whether that cough needed a doctor. I spent my twenties and thirties living for my children and my husband, and then I became my mother's carer too. Somewhere in all of that, there wasn't room left to ask what I actually wanted. Five years ago, I finally had to make a decision that was just for me. Not the kids. Not my husband. Not my mum. Just the woman underneath all those roles. I froze. I didn't trust myself to get it right. This is the final episode of the July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust. Self-trust isn't really the fourth lesson. It's the foundation the other three were quietly resting on the whole time. In this episode: Why running a household of other people's needs teaches you nothing about trusting decisions made only for you The moment I realised I'd lost myself, and what it actually took to start finding my way back Why self-trust isn't built by being right — it's built by finding out you can survive being wrong and choose yourself again anyway Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up, and if this series has stirred something bigger, come find The Noticing and The Awakening — the two programs built to help you rebuild what these patterns cost you. What will you take back? 🎙️ www.whatyoutookback.com

    Episode. 21 "I Trusted Myself With Everyone Else's Life But Not my Own."

  5. Jul 21

    Episode.20 "I Said no Then Apologised For it."

    I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing. I said no. Then, before anyone could even react, I heard myself apologising for it. Nothing bad happened. Nobody was hurt. I just held a boundary — and some old, exhausted part of me still felt like I owed someone a "sorry" for it. This is Part 3 of the July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust. Boundaries was the door. People-pleasing was why it stayed open. This episode is the toll booth that charges you every time you try to walk through anyway: guilt. Here's the truth nobody tells you when they hand you a boundary script — guilt doesn't disappear once you learn the skill. If you're a recovering people-pleaser, guilt isn't a sign you did the boundary wrong. It's the toll you pay for doing it right, at least for a while. In this episode: Why guilt shows up even when, on paper, you did absolutely nothing wrong The reframe that changes everything — guilt as a doorbell, not a verdict A realistic timeline for how long this actually takes to get easier Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up to find out where your own guilt tends to load in. What have you taken back? 🎙️   www.whatyoutookback.com

    Episode.20 "I Said no Then Apologised For it."

  6. Jul 14

    Episode. 19 'The Most Exhausting Job You Never Applied For.'

    I'm Skye. And this is What You Took Back. A podcast for women who've spent years surviving on fragments of themselves. I'm here to hand you back the whole damn thing. Someone tells you, "Honestly, you're just so easy to work with." You smile. You say thank you. Inside, some tiny, exhausted part of you goes, oh no — because you know what that sentence actually means once you translate it. You've never made this person manage your feelings, negotiate with your limits, or wait for you to think about what you actually want. You made yourself frictionless. And frictionless people don't get protected. They get relied on. This is Part 2 of the July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust — and this episode goes straight at the mechanism underneath every collapsed boundary from last week: people-pleasing. Not the dictionary version. The real one. It's not about wanting to be liked. It's about a nervous system that decided, a long time ago, that being needed was safer than being known. In this episode: Why "just say no more" has never worked on anyone, ever The tiny question that gives the whole game away — pizza or Thai, this or that — and why your honest answer might be static Four small, deliberately uncomfortable reps to start rebuilding a preference this week Take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up and find out exactly where yours started. What have you taken back? 🎙️

    Episode. 19 'The Most Exhausting Job You Never Applied For.'

  7. Jul 7

    Episode. 18 "The boundary You Keep Explaining Isn't a Boundary."

    Picture your family or friend group chat. Someone's asked you to host Christmas again — same as every year — and for the first time, you type the word "no." Then you delete it. You write it again, this time with a paragraph attached: how tired you've been, the kids' schedule, a "maybe next year" so nobody feels rejected. That's not a boundary. That's a boundary wearing a disguise so it can sneak past everyone's disappointment without anyone noticing. This is Part 1 of a four-part July series — Boundaries, People-Pleasing, Guilt, Self-Trust — and this episode is about the tell that gives away a fake boundary every time: the length of the explanation. A real boundary is a sentence. The kind most of us were taught to build is a paragraph. In this episode: Why over-explaining a "no" isn't politeness — it's a Power Leak The one question to ask before you speak: are you informing someone of a decision, or applying for their permission Three phrases to practise this week that hold a boundary without writing a legal brief to defend it If this one hits close to home, take the free Power Leak Checklist at whatyoutookback.com/power-leak-check-list-sign-up — it'll show you exactly where your energy is leaking before you even get to the boundary conversation. What have you taken back? 🎙️

  8. Jun 30

    Episode.17 "Nobody checks on the strong one."

    Someone decided you were the strong one. Nobody asked your permission. And somewhere along the way, it became the only thing you were allowed to be. This episode is for the woman underneath the strength — the one who has held everyone else together and never once been the person someone rushed to check on. It's time to talk about what that costs. You became the ceiling that holds everything up. And ceilings don't get to have bad days. They don't get to sit on the kitchen floor at 10pm and just not be okay for a minute. They don't get to say I'm struggling. Because if the ceiling comes down, everything underneath it does too. This is the episode for the strong one. The one who nursed people through illness. Who held families together through things that would have broken most people. Who went through her own heartbreak, her own losses, her own falling apart — and handled it, because that's what you do. And not one person asked if she was okay. In this episode, I talk about how the strong one role gets assigned without your consent and hardens over time, the quiet, unspoken fear that keeps the people around you from ever asking — if she's broken, what happens to all of us? — the grief that lives underneath the strength, and the permission you were never given but always deserved. This episode won't give you a five-step strategy. It'll give you something simpler. The strongest thing you will ever do is let someone in. 🔗 Download the free Power Leak Checklist — start identifying where your energy, confidence and sense of self have been quietly leaking away. 👉 whatyoutookback.com/checklist

    Episode.17 "Nobody checks on the strong one."
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About

Most people aren’t living unconsciously — they’re living conditioned. They’ve adapted. Softened. Over-functioned. Stayed agreeable. Played roles that once kept the peace but slowly cost them their authority. This podcast is about taking that authority back. Through sharp insights, honest reflection, and practical frameworks like the Power Receipt Method™, each episode challenges approval patterns, emotional reactivity, weak boundaries, and borrowed identities — replacing them with clarity, standards, and internal leadership. This isn’t self-help in soft focus. It’s structured self-reclamation. If you’re ready to stop performing and start operating from your own centre, you’re in the right place.

Information

  • Creator
    Skye Underhill
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    24
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    What You Took Back Podcast