Evelyn has four boys, and at the time of recording this (January) they were 20 months, almost 3, almost 6, and 8 so…are happy birthdays in order Evelyn?! 😅 We talk everything from Wild + Free (which I clearly forgot I ever co-led lol), to her moving from Colombia to Texas at age 13 and teaching herself English, to the realities of homeschooling multiple kiddos, patience, what we value vs. what we’ve been taught to value, taking it one day at a time, and so much more. I’ll also say, Evelyn works full time in addition to homeschooling and I feel like I need to have a whole ‘nother interview with her to dive into that, specifically. As someone who works part time, and feels stretched in so many different directions, I was curious how she handled it all. Her words: “How do I do it? Honestly, it rarely looks as put-together as it sounds. I’m a homeschool mom and I work full time, which means my days are a constant weaving of roles rather than neatly separated blocks. I’m grateful—deeply—that my job is remote and my team is flexible. That flexibility is what makes this life possible. But it doesn’t make it easy. What it actually looks like is early mornings with coffee and a mental checklist already running. It’s jumping between math lessons and Slack messages, reading aloud one minute and replying to emails the next. It’s planning school around meetings, and planning meetings around the parts of the day when my kids are most independent—or at least occupied. There are a lot of “in between” moments. Work squeezed into nap times, quiet reading time, or the rare stretch when everyone is focused. And then there are the evenings—where I pick up what didn’t fit into the day, trading rest for catching up. Some nights feel productive, others just feel long. The hardest part isn’t the logistics—it’s the tension. When I’m in meetings, I feel the pull of not being fully present with my kids. When I’m deep in homeschooling, there’s a quiet awareness of what’s waiting for me at work. There’s guilt in both directions, even though I know I’m showing up in meaningful ways for both my family and my job. But it’s also full of small, grounding moments. Being there for a question, a breakthrough, a story in the middle of the day. Building a life that, while messy and stretched, is intentionally close. I don’t do it perfectly. I do it by adjusting constantly, by letting some things be “good enough,” and by reminding myself why we chose this in the first place. It’s a rhythm that shifts daily—sometimes hourly—but it’s ours, and we’re making it work the best we can.” I could reaaaaally relate to this. The weaving of roles, all the in between moments, pockets of days, long nights, etc. And the guilt. I often feel bad that I can’t seem to stop working, even though I chose this path. Homeschooling and being with my kids is what I love most, but I also like using other parts of my brain and being of service in other ways. And, quite frankly, we live in an expensive place. And we love traveling, and giving our kids experiences that cost money. And then there’s just like… gas and groceries. So even though I don’t make nearly as much as my partner, I know my financial contributions matter, and I’m proud to be able to contribute in that way. I think it’s assumed that people who homeschool must give up career pursuits to do it, or that it only works if there’s a partner who’s a bread winner so that the other person can stay home and not work. There are a lot of factors. And we are privileged. And also, some of us keep working! Both because we want to, and because we have to. Meanwhile, there is a quiet (and sometimes not-so-quiet) narrative that’s like: if you choose homeschooling, it should be your whole identity. Or: if you’re working, something must be getting shortchanged. And especially for women, it often becomes: you should be able to do it all, but also feel peaceful while doing it. And if you aren’t picture perfect calm 100% of the time, then something’s wrong. (And maybe that’s true some of the time, but also…maybe there are just seasons where it’s a lot. What happens when we let that be okay, without feeling the need to scrap everything?) The reality is it’s not easy. And there are sacrifices. And stress. And pressure (from myself and society) and sometimes impossible expectations. For me it was meaningful to talk to someone who, despite all those things, seems to agree that she wouldn’t have it any other way. Finally a voice that’s like… yes it’s hard, to balance homeschooling and career, but also here’s what it gives back. And you’re not a bad person, for wanting both. Resources from this episode > Wild + Free - (Another thing Lauren conned me into doing was co-leading a Wild + Free group that she took over 😅 We left being officially W+F and are now just planning things for our community.) The Call of the Wild + Free* Hunt, Gather, Parent* The Coddling of the American Mind* The Good and the Beautiful - math and language arts Tapping. + a video. And finally - those beloved transformer toys* 😂 . (We don’t have the exact same ones, but we have these and these which are a similar concept and also very loved.) Note: I get a little kickback for all the * links if you decide to shop. As always, you can watch this video on YouTube, too. Thanks for reading and listening! To support my work, give it a ♥️, share it, dialogue with me in the comments, and/or consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I appreciate you! Get full access to Peace Mail at peacemail.substack.com/subscribe
