Rupture Ever After

Monte and Mechelle Wingle
  • 5.0 (7)
  • Relationships
  • Weekly

Rupture Ever After is a relationship podcast about marriage, attachment styles, emotional triggers, faith shifts, betrayal, and rebuilding trust. We explore what happens when childhood wounds meet adult love. This isn’t about saving marriages or convincing anyone to stay. It’s about awareness, boundaries, emotional safety, and personal growth. After the rupture, the real story begins. Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

  1. 4d ago

    Your Partner isn’t Your Parent | Ep. 26

    https://ruptureeverafter.com/ @mechellewingle @winglemo Riding out of Yellowstone's north entrance on the motorcycle, Monte and Mechelle pick up a Season 2 episode idea from their therapist, Jackie: projection. Monte gets honest about how he put his childhood experiences with his mom onto Mechelle. Her tears felt like manipulation. Her words sounded like a story he already knew the ending to. And underneath it all was a deep hole he believed she could fill — and blamed her for when she didn't. In this episode: • How projection quietly runs a marriage, even when nothing is said out loud • The fawn response, codependency, and losing your sense of self • Why the first 18 months of life shape our ability to trust (Erik Erikson) • Mother hunger, and the hand-on-heart practice Monte uses with his younger self • "Do I really love you, or am I just fawning for safety?" • Screening a parent's calls, the guilt that comes with it, and the grief of realizing support didn't have to be that hard. This is a conversation about relationship repair, attachment healing, and the slow work of taking back what was never your partner's to carry. If you've ever wondered whether a fight was really about the present, this one's for you. • Mechelle's full healing session is available on Wholeness+ watch here https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/videos/a-heart-centered-therapy-session-%E2%80%94-alaya-chikly-with-mechelle Thanks for Sharing Podcast https://youtube.com/@healingpathsinc.5993?si=8VfmpxscUvUQqpXs Go DeeperWholeness+ membership, with unreleased recordings and more intimate conversations: https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/pricing-plans/membership Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

  2. Oct 20

    25. The Motorcycle, the Marriage, and the Melee

    https://ruptureeverafter.com/@mechellewingle @winglemo3,700 miles. 10 days. 1 Gold Wing. And a fight we didn’t see coming.Riding through Yellowstone brought back memories of our first big motorcycle trip in 2019, a 25th anniversary ride we left for straight from a therapy session, in the middle of the hardest season of our marriage. We had no real route, a $20 tent, and a feeling that this trip might make us or break us.In this episode, we revisit that ride, from Idaho to Glacier’s Going-to-the-Sun Road, across the endless grain fields of Saskatchewan, into a tornado warning in Regina, down in the mud, and through a terrifying hail-and-snowstorm on Pikes Peak. Then, after days of adventure and real bonding, a single conversation about family turned into white-hot rage and a silent, dissociated ride across Colorado.We talk honestly about what was happening underneath: emotional flashbacks that wipe out every good memory in the “relationship bank account,” fawning through a fight just to get to the end of the day, why you should never ride (or drive) angry, and the hard truth that sometimes, when things feel too good, a part of us blows it up to get back to what’s familiar.This is a real-time look at relational trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and relationship repair in a long-haul marriage, and why we’ve never once regretted turning east.Jackie’s podcast Thanks for Sharing Podcasthttps://youtube.com/@healingpathsinc.5993?si=8VfmpxscUvUQqpXsGo DeeperWholeness+ membership, with unreleased recordings and more intimate conversations: https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/pricing-plans/membershipBundyville, the documentary podcast series we listened to on the ride: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bundyville-the-remnant--2909285The Dead South, the Saskatchewan bluegrass band that sent us east: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWqvhmZyB66eKv01SiH_KjgChapters00:00 Riding Yellowstone & remembering 201900:46 How the motorcycle dream started01:48 Risk, control, and the first big bike04:57 Our 25th anniversary trip, leaving from therapy08:12 Long drives, no narration, and “Why’d you turn left?”16:48 Arco to Missoula & the moment we decided to downsize20:06 Glacier’s Going-to-the-Sun Road21:44 East or west at the Canadian border24:42 Canada’s grain fields, Moose Jaw & a tornado warning28:00 Down in the mud32:15 North Dakota, Sturgis & attachment styles on the road34:00 Hail and snow on Pikes Peak39:57 The conversation that set off the fight48:12 The silent ride across Colorado50:42 Emotional flashbacks & the “hacked bank account”52:30 The blistered tire: don’t ride angry55:24 Repair in Price57:00 “It can’t be too good”58:42 Turning east: comparing our path to one that never existed01:00:45 Gratitude for the rideAfter every rupture, the real story begins.Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

  3. Oct 13

    24. Old Motorcycles, Long Marriages: Loving the Wild Ride

    Content note: This episode includes a conversation about suicidal thoughts. If you're struggling, please reach out. In the US, call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You're not alone, and people want to help. Somewhere on the road, on a 22-year-old Gold Wing with 111,000 miles on it, Mechelle asks Monte what he'd tell couples at every stage of rupture: before it hits, in the middle of it, and on the long road after. Monte's answers are honest and sometimes counterintuitive. Ruptures are normal in a long-term relationship, so don't be alarmed. The little complaints aren't really about the little things, and divorce rarely comes out of nowhere. If you're in the lowest part of a rupture, don't rule out giving up. Keeping divorce on the table can work like a pressure-relief valve while you face the bitterest truths and learn the relationship skills you don’t have yet. Mechelle shares the Plan A she didn't know she was living by: a smooth, flat road with no weather, no construction, and zero problems. She talks about the moment in the middle of the rupture when a quiet voice asked, "Isn't it great?" She also talks about losing her mom, and why we keep buying tickets for the metaphorical rollercoaster even when the ride is terrifying. We also walk through the repair tools that changed our marriage: Why a partner's harsh words can be "just a hiccup" (Terry Real's core negative image) How to bring up a hurt later with curiosity first: "Here's the story I told myself…" Our therapist Jackie's notebook method for "Can we talk?" conversations, so you're capturing instead of reacting Taking a break when you're flooded, and coming back Imagining yourself standing beside your partner while they vent instead of in front of them It's a conversation about attachment healing, nervous system regulation, emotional intimacy, and relationship repair. Most of all, it's about loving a ride that comes with no guarantees. Download Mechelle's step-by-step "Can We Talk?" guide: https://44a76cfb-87ac-406f-aa1d-2ca93f8824bd.usrfiles.com/ugd/44a76c_1d7f86c6f63a4820818a45c8688c2b14.pdf
 More on WHOLENESS+: https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/ Thanks for Sharing Podcast https://ruptureeverafter.com/ Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

  4. Oct 6

    23. Glimmers: The Opposite of a Triggers (32 Years of Marriage)

    https://ruptureeverafter.com/ @mechellewingle @winglemo Glimmers are the opposite of triggers — moments of safety your nervous system stores and can return to. On their 32nd anniversary, recorded from the road on day four of a motorcycle trip, Monte and Mechelle each share three glimmers, one per decade of marriage. Inside: the Gottman research on how couples narrate their shared history and what it predicts; the Holmberg and Holmes finding that memories of your early relationship shift to match how you feel now; and why repair in the present reaches backward into the past. Stories include Lake Powell with the boats tied together, a surprise discovery flight, a camping trip where feeling dismissed turned into feeling chosen, an expired passport that canceled a trip to Portugal, and standing on a tide pool in the Azores forty years later. Thanks for Sharing Podcast Thewholenessnetwork.com Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only. Topics: glimmers, nervous system regulation, attachment healing, relationship repair, emotional intimacy, long-term marriage, savoring, rupture and repair #ruptureverafter #attachmenttheory #nervoussystemhealing #relationshiphealing

  5. Sep 29

    22. Dysregulation, Dissociation, and the Real You Underneath

    https://ruptureeverafter.com/ @mechellewingle @winglemo Have you ever reacted to something small — a customer service call, a declined credit card, a look from someone you love — with a wave of white-hot anger, or a sudden urge to check out completely? That's not a character flaw. That's your nervous system doing exactly what it was built to do. In this episode, Monte and Mechelle unpack two of the most misunderstood trauma responses: dysregulation — the emotional flashback, when half the brain goes offline and you drop into threat mode — and dissociation, when you leave the present moment and go somewhere else in your mind. Recorded on the road (helmet mics, wild turkeys, and a few breathtaking views included), it's a tender, honest look at why our bodies remember what our minds forget. Along the way, they get into: The four F's — fight, flight, freeze, and fawn — and how to recognize them in yourself Why being "triggered" is really a trauma response, and how a single scent (yes, Old Spice) can carry decades of threat Why the memory isn't the proof — the body's reaction is What ducks, deer, and lions teach us about shaking off stress before it gets stuck The elephant and the rider: how emotion leads and reason scrambles to justify it How early attunement, or its absence, shapes a whole life — and why prevention matters more than crisis Real, unglamorous dysregulation in the wild, from the post office counter to the checkout line Whether you tend to armor up or disappear, this is an invitation to trust your body, drop the judgment, and make room for your real self to show up and connect. Mentioned in this episode: The Boy Who Was Raised by a Dog (Dr. Bruce Perry), The Righteous Mind (Jonathan Haidt), A General Theory of Love, Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine — plus Peter Levine, Eckhart Tolle, Ms. Rachel, and Bluey. Thanks for Sharing Podcast Thewholenessnetwork.com Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

  6. Sep 22

    21. Meet “Jackie”: Best Therapist Ever

    https://ruptureeverafter.com/ @mechellewingle @winglemo Season 2 opens in the therapy room. Meet Jackie — the therapist Monte & Mechelle have been seeing since 2019, and the name you've heard us drop in almost every episode. In this candid Season 2 opener, we finally introduce the woman behind the work. Jackie has spent 30+ years as a therapist specializing in trauma, addiction, and the partners affected by it — and she pulls back the curtain on what really happens in the room. We talk about the difference between therapy and counseling (and why you can't be talked out of your trauma), how trust gets built when trust is the very thing that's broken, and why real healing starts in the body, not the head. Jackie shares her hardest and best days in the field, gets honest about sexless seasons and sexual trauma in marriage, breaks down the biggest myths about sex addiction, and revisits the question Monte kept asking early on — "Should we just get divorced?" — and why she never answered it. Warm, funny, and deeply human. Turns out therapists are people too… just ask her kids. New episodes every week. Subscribe so you don't miss Season 2. Breaking Free From Attachment Wounds online class Thanks for Sharing Episodes Porn Series But is it Good Sex? Healing Sex Addiction and Betrayal Trauma Thanks for Sharing Podcast Thewholenessnetwork.com Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only. ⏱️ CHAPTERS00:00 Welcome, Jackie01:30 What are you coming in with today?03:15 How politics entered the therapy room06:30 The hardest days of being a therapist08:30 The day Jackie's mom died — and coming back to clients14:00 Best days: when it "clicks" in the body, not the brain19:00 Moments Jackie remembers from our sessions23:00 Therapy vs. counseling — what's the difference?27:30 Sexless marriage, sexual trauma & repair35:30 Sex addiction: the biggest myths40:30 "Should we get divorced?" — why Jackie never answered43:30 The Stockdale paradox & rethinking growth48:30 Therapists are people too50:00 How you know therapy is working rupture ever after, marriage podcast, couples therapy, therapist interview, therapy vs counseling, trauma healing, relationship repair, marriage repair, nervous system regulation, somatic therapy, healing trauma in marriage, sexless marriage, sexual trauma, sex addiction, sex addiction myths, CSAT therapist, attachment styles, EFT Sue Johnson, Gottman method, should we get divorced, saving your marriage, marriage counseling, relationship advice, mental health, going to therapy, what therapy is really like, IFS, emotional intimacy, long term marriage, Monte and Mechelle

  7. Aug 18 ·  Bonus

    The Fir Tree in the Closet — A Bonus Episode from the Editing Room Floor

    Monte opens with the version of meditation he learned in 2010: focus on the breath, count to six, let the muddy water settle. Practical, mechanical, learnable. Then Mechelle tells hers, and it goes somewhere else entirely. Her sister-in-law told her to get quiet and ask for a gift. She went into a dark closet, sat down, and saw a narrow path with a great gulf on either side and her first thought was that falling off would be easier than crossing. What came back wasn't words exactly. It was closer to: we want you to make the whole trip. This isn't about easy. Then she asked for the gift, and got a small fir tree. Prickly. Untouchable. And then arms that held the prickly part anyway. She didn't tell anyone about this for years. What she says about finally being able to tell Monte — and about him being able to receive it is one of the quieter measures of repair in the whole season. Two very different doors into the same room. Both count. Both are meditation. Topics: meditation and getting quiet, nervous system regulation, attachment healing, self-trust, relationship repair, being known by your partner, emotional intimacy. Rupture Ever After is Monte and Mechelle Wingle, sharing what actually helped on their therapy journey. https://ruptureeverafter.com/ Follow us online @mechellewingle @winglemo Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only. #ruptureverafter #nervoussystemhealing #relationshiphealing

  8. Jul 7

    20. Holding Hope, Facing Truth: Our Season One Recap

    We're opening the curtain on Season One — the stats, the surprises, and the question we're still sitting with: who are we, and what is this podcast actually for? Monte shares the Stockdale Paradox and what it's teaching us about holding hope while facing our hardest truths, and we look ahead to what Season Two might hold. This episode covers attachment healing, nervous system regulation, and relationship repair — what we learned making this show, what surprised us in the numbers, and why the story matters less than what's actually happening underneath it. We're taking a short break before Season Two. Join us for our free community gathering on July 19th at 3:00 PM MT — email ruptureeverafter@gmail.com to get the link or Sign up in the link below. It’s a FREE gathering. https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/events/rupture-ever-after-open-house https://ruptureeverafter.com/ Follow us online @mechellewingle @winglemo Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

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5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

Rupture Ever After is a relationship podcast about marriage, attachment styles, emotional triggers, faith shifts, betrayal, and rebuilding trust. We explore what happens when childhood wounds meet adult love. This isn’t about saving marriages or convincing anyone to stay. It’s about awareness, boundaries, emotional safety, and personal growth. After the rupture, the real story begins. Information is not intended as professional advice and is for entertainment only.

Information

  • Creator
    Monte and Mechelle Wingle
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Monte and Mechelle Wingle
  • Show Website
    Rupture Ever After