The Original Self Podcast

Evet DeCota
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

The Original Self Podcast explores the psychology of resilience, identity, and meaningful personal change. Hosted by life coach Evet DeCota, a psychology-informed life coach, each episode blends real-life insight, coaching perspective, and practical mindset shifts that help you reconnect with who you truly are. Through honest conversations and reflections about confidence, habits, self-doubt, and growth, this podcast invites you to return to the version of yourself that has always been there beneath the noise.

  1. Episode 18- The Neuroscience of Why You Eat: Stress, Dopamine & Why Willpower Is Often the Wrong Explanation

    5d ago

    Episode 18- The Neuroscience of Why You Eat: Stress, Dopamine & Why Willpower Is Often the Wrong Explanation

    Have you ever reached for food and only realized what you were doing after the fact — as if the decision had already been made without you? You're not imagining it. In this episode of The Original Self Podcast, psychology-informed life coach Evet DeCota explains why that experience is neurologically real, and why willpower is often the wrong explanation for what's happening. Drawing on her graduate research on stress, impulsivity, and hyper-palatable food consumption, Evet breaks down the brain systems that drive eating behavior — and why they so often override our best intentions. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why the decision to eat often happens before conscious awareness catches up — and what that tells us about how the brain actually works • The difference between the Wanting System and the Liking System (and why you can keep eating long after the enjoyment is gone) • How stress and cortisol specifically direct appetite toward calorie-dense foods — and why this is a survival mechanism, not a character flaw • Why some people lose their appetite under stress while others reach for food — and the neurological reason behind both responses • How the gut-brain axis shapes cravings through the microbiome, serotonin, and hunger hormones like ghrelin and leptin • What happens to the prefrontal cortex under stress — and why the brain simultaneously hits the accelerator and weakens the brakes • A simple awareness practice, backed by UCLA research, that interrupts automatic eating patterns without requiring willpower or restriction This episode is part of the ongoing series A Psychology of Food — a multi-episode arc exploring the systems, biology, and history that shaped your relationship with food, long before you had the language to question any of it. If you've ever asked yourself, 'What is wrong with me?' around food, this episode offers a different question — and a more honest answer. To learn more about working with Evet, visit decotalifecoaching.com

    23 min
  2. Episode 17- Food Noise: Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Food

    Jun 18

    Episode 17- Food Noise: Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Food

    You've probably heard the term food noise showing up in conversations about GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy. But food noise isn't new — millions of people have been living with it for years without a name for it. Food noise is the constant mental chatter around food that exists whether you're hungry or not. It's thinking about lunch while you're still eating breakfast. It's the negotiating, the planning, the cravings, and the guilt that can follow you through an entire day. For many people, it has simply become the background of daily life — so familiar it feels normal. In this episode, Evet explores what food noise actually is, why so many people experience it, and what its existence reveals about the food environment we live in. She draws on the psychology of hedonic hunger and reward, the history of how food companies learned to compete for mental attention, and her own personal experience of living with food noise for nearly forty years — and what happened when it finally went quiet. This isn't an episode about what to eat. It's about understanding why food occupies as much space in our minds as it does — and why that understanding matters far more than another set of rules. Topics Covered • The difference between hunger and food noise — why they're not the same thing • What GLP-1 medications reveal about how much mental space food can occupy • How tobacco companies’ purchase of food companies in the 1980s changed the food industry • The hedonic hunger system and how food companies learned to exploit it • Why food noise is a predictable response to the environment — not a personal flaw • The real cost of food noise: not just health markers, but attention and mental freedom • Shifting from 'how do I lose weight' to 'what relationship do I want with food' • Evet's personal experience with food noise and GLP-1 medication • Why curiosity — not criticism — is where meaningful change begins About Evet Evet DeCota is a psychology-informed life coach specializing in resilience, mindset, and courage. Between the salon chair and coaching sessions, Evet works with people navigating the patterns that shape their lives — often without their awareness. The Original Self Podcast is an extension of that work. To learn more about working with Evet, visit the links below. Connect & Resources • Work with Evet: 415-548-1964 / decotalifecoaching.com • Evet: Book A Call • Instagram:@decota_life_coaching • Facebook: DeCota Life Coaching • LinkedIn: Profile Evet • Leave a review: Feedback Form

    37 min
  3. Episode 16 The Engineered Plate: How Hyper-Palatable Foods Are Designed to Defeat You

    Jun 15

    Episode 16 The Engineered Plate: How Hyper-Palatable Foods Are Designed to Defeat You

    Have you ever told yourself you would stop after a few chips, one cookie, or one episode — and then couldn't? Have you spent years believing the problem was your willpower, your discipline, or your relationship with food? You are not broken. You were never supposed to easily resist what the food industry spent decades and billions of dollars engineering you to crave. In Episode 16 of The Original Self Podcast, psychology-informed life coach Evet DeCota dismantles the myth of weak willpower and reveals the real science behind why stopping is so hard. Drawing on her own academic research into stress, impulsivity, and hyper-palatable food consumption, Evet takes you inside the neuroscience of craving, the psychology of self-blame, and what it actually means to find your way back to a body you can trust. This is not a diet episode. There are no food lists, no protocols, and no miracle plans. This is an honest, psychology-informed conversation about how the modern food environment was built to work against you — and what awareness can do that willpower alone never could. What you will learn in this episode: — Why willpower is real but finite — and why it was never designed to compete against a system built with decades of neuroscience to override it — The history of how food became an industry and how the Bliss Point changed everything we eat — What the homeostatic and hedonic pathways are and why hyper-palatable foods hijack one to silence the other — How dopamine drives anticipation and craving before you take a single bite — and why the smell of food, a crinkle of a bag, or even a commercial can trigger it — What sensory-specific satiety is and exactly how ultra-processed foods are engineered to circumvent it — Roy Baumeister's research on decision fatigue and why you are not the same person at ten o'clock at night that you were when you set your intention that morning — Why intelligent, disciplined, high-functioning people struggle just as much around food — and what that tells us about the system, not the person — Evet's own academic research on stress, impulsivity, and hyper-palatable food consumption — and the finding that surprised her most — Why quitting cigarettes was possible but food is different — and what that distinction reveals about the nature of food addiction — The real costs of hyper-palatable food consumption beyond weight — including cognitive load, body distrust, and the shame that accumulates quietly for years — What the shift from self-blame to curiosity looks like — and why that shift is where the real awareness work begins — What public policy conversations around ultra-processed food regulation are starting to look like globally Research and experts referenced in this episode: Howard Moskowitz — the Bliss Point and multivariate palatability research Roy Baumeister — self-regulation, ego depletion, and decision fatigue research Harvard Nutrition Department — dopamine, anticipation, and reward research Evet DeCota — original thesis research on stress, impulsivity, and hyper-palatable food consumption, Dominican University of California If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Leave a review — it helps more people find this conversation. And if you are ready to explore your own growth with support, visit decotalifecoaching.com to learn more about working with Evet one-on-one. Subscribe to The Original Self Podcast for weekly episodes on resilience, identity, mindset, and the courage to become who you actually are.

    33 min
  4. Episode 15 Before The Rules: An Introduction to A Psychology of Food Series

    Jun 11

    Episode 15 Before The Rules: An Introduction to A Psychology of Food Series

    Welcome to Before the Rules, a special series from The Original Self Podcast. In this opening episode, Evet DeCota introduces the central question that will guide the entire series: "Who were you before all of this told you who to be around food?" This conversation is not about dieting, weight loss, meal plans, macros, supplements, or the latest nutrition trend. It is about identity. Together, we explore how food became intertwined with culture, family messages, marketing, self-worth, biology, and personal history. Drawing from nearly four decades behind the salon chair, her psychology education, coaching experience, and her own lifelong relationship with food, Evet explains why information alone rarely solves our struggles around eating. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why food is never just food • How diet culture shapes our beliefs and behaviors • Why intelligent, disciplined people often struggle around food • The difference between asking 'What's wrong with me?' and 'What happened to me?' • The three pillars of the series: The System, The Body, and The Self • How reconnecting with your original self may change your relationship with food Next Episode: The Engineered Plate: How Hyper-Palatable Foods Are Designed to Defeat You Connect with Evet DeCota: Website: https://decotalifecoaching.com Email: decotalifecoaching@gmail.com Listen to The Original Self Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and your favorite podcast platform.

    16 min
  5. Episode 14-The Fullest Empty Life: Why You’re Always Busy but Never Fulfilled

    Jun 7

    Episode 14-The Fullest Empty Life: Why You’re Always Busy but Never Fulfilled

    Are you always busy but never truly fulfilled? Do you schedule every hour, stay constantly productive, and still go to bed feeling like something is missing? You are not alone — and you are not broken. In Episode 13 of The Original Self Podcast, psychology-informed life coach Evet DeCota explores the real reason so many high-achieving people feel empty despite doing everything right. This episode goes deep into the psychology of busyness, burnout, and what it actually means to be present in your own life. If you have ever wondered why you can't slow down, why stillness feels uncomfortable, or why rest feels like something you have to earn — this conversation will change the way you think about time, identity, and what a fulfilling life actually looks like. What you will learn in this episode: — Why busyness has become a status symbol in America and how grind culture conditions us to tie our worth to our productivity — The psychology of Action Bias — why doing nothing feels like failure even when rest is exactly what we need — How Experiential Avoidance keeps us overcommitted and emotionally stuck, using busyness to hide from grief, loneliness, and uncertainty — What the Default Mode Network is, why your brain needs unstructured downtime to function at its best, and what we lose every time we fill the silence — How smartphones didn't just distract us — they rewired our relationship with stillness and made being alone with our thoughts feel intolerable — The difference between Doing Mode and Being Mode, how to recognize which one is running your life, and how to access both without giving up productivity — What Brene Brown's research on foreboding joy and emotional numbing reveals about why we can't fully feel happiness when we never slow down — Tricia Hersey's Rest Manifesto and why rest is not laziness — it is resistance, creativity, and a radical act of self-worth — Daniel Siegel's MWe framework from IntraConnected — why the self you perform at work is only half of who you actually are — Why sitting in stillness will not break you, how presence becomes a practice, and what it means to finally stop performing your life and start living it Research and experts referenced in this episode: Silvia Bellezza, Columbia University — busyness as status symbol research Lyddy and Good, 2017 — Being Mode vs. Doing Mode, Entanglement and Disentanglement in the workplace Gloria Mark, UC Irvine — attentional control and the 23-minute focus recovery study Daniel Siegel — IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We), neuropsychiatry and integrated selfhood Brene Brown — Atlas of the Heart, foreboding joy and selective emotional numbing Tricia Hersey — The Rest Manifesto, The Nap Ministry, rest as resistance William James, 1890 — attentional control as the root of judgment, character, and will Apple Screen Time data — average American phone pickups per day Pew Research — smartphone use and morning attention habits If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Leave a review — it helps more people find this conversation. And if you are ready to explore your own growth with support, visit decotalifecoaching.com to learn more about working with Evet one-on-one. Subscribe to The Original Self Podcast for weekly episodes on resilience, identity, mindset, and the courage to become who you actually are.

    44 min
  6. Episode 12 Part 2: The Witness- True Crime Obsession Explained | What Happens When You Stop Watching and Walk into the Room

    Jun 2

    Episode 12 Part 2: The Witness- True Crime Obsession Explained | What Happens When You Stop Watching and Walk into the Room

    If you haven’t listened to Part 1 yet, start there. This episode will hit differently if you do. In Part 1, we explored the psychology behind our true crime obsession — the science, the costs, and the ethical questions the genre rarely asks. In Part 2, we go somewhere the research can’t take us. Into the room. My guest, Rhonda Gaines, didn’t watch the Lori Vallow Daybell sentencing on a screen. She booked a trip to Idaho, walked into that courthouse, and sat in the room where a woman who murdered her own children received her sentence. In this episode: • What it’s actually like to walk into a courtroom and face the reality of a crime you’ve only ever seen on a screen • What Rhonda saw in Lori Vallow Daybell’s face — and what she felt in the room with the victims’ families • What the sentencing moment did to her — and what she carried home This is the episode that puts a human face on everything Part 1 explained. 🎤 Hosted by Evet DeCota 🌐 decotalifecoaching.com 📌 Part 1: True Crime Obsession Explained | The Psychology Behind Why You Can’t Stop Watching

    52 min
  7. Episode 12- Part 1: True Crime Obsession Explained | The Psychology Behind Why You Can't Stop Watching

    May 26

    Episode 12- Part 1: True Crime Obsession Explained | The Psychology Behind Why You Can't Stop Watching

    You told yourself you were going to bed early. And yet here you are. In Part 1 of this two-part series, psychology-informed life coach Evet DeCota breaks down the real science behind our true crime obsession — and why it says more about us than we think. This isn't about morbid fascination. It's about evolution, threat intelligence, justice, community, and the complicated cost of consuming other people's worst moments as entertainment. In this episode: Why the pull toward dark content is evolutionary — not a character flawThe safety information hypothesis: why women are the core true crime audience and why that's completely rationalThe dopamine-suspense loop that makes these stories impossible to turn offWhat true crime actually gives us — empathy, justice reform, community, and fear processingThe hidden costs: anxiety, desensitization, sleep disruption, and secondary traumatic stressThe ethical question the genre rarely asks: at what point does engagement stop serving justice and start serving our entertainment?Real stories from three women whose true crime consumption shows up in their real lives — including one who used what she'd learned to get herself out of a dangerous situationPart 2 drops next week — featuring a guest who didn't watch the Lori Vallow Daybell sentencing on a screen. She got on a plane. 🎙️ Hosted by Evet DeCota 🌐 decotalifecoaching.com 📩 Reach out about coaching or the podcast at decotalifecoaching@gmail.com

    51 min
  8. Episode 11- Why We Say "I'm Fine" When We Are Not: The Psychology of Hiding Your True Feelings

    May 20

    Episode 11- Why We Say "I'm Fine" When We Are Not: The Psychology of Hiding Your True Feelings

    Most of us learned to say “I’m fine” long before we understood what it was costing us. In Episode 11 of The Original Self Podcast, Evet DeCota shares how a childhood bone disease, the loss of her best friend, and a love she was too armored to fight for all shaped her into someone who buried her feelings so deeply she eventually stopped feeling them altogether. Then she’s joined by Jackson — her 17-year-old nephew — in one of the most honest conversations this podcast has ever held. Jackson lost his mother to colon cancer at fifteen, watched his family fracture in the aftermath, and spent years hiding behind humor, performance, and a persona built to keep people from getting too close. His first serious relationship cracked something open in him that grief alone couldn’t. And in this episode, he finally says it out loud. This episode weaves personal story with psychology — including Erving Goffman’s concept of impression management, Dr. Brené Brown’s research on shame and armor, Arthur Aron’s self-expansion theory, Helen Fisher’s neuroscience of heartbreak, and Dr. James Pennebaker’s findings on the physical cost of emotional concealment. What We Cover • Why “I’m fine” becomes automatic — and what it protects us from • How emotional suppression starts in childhood and hardens over time • The neuroscience of heartbreak and why it feels physical • What first love reveals about the self we’ve been hiding • Why performing “fine” is armor — not resilience • What exists on the other side of fine: the quiet relief of being known Researchers & Concepts Referenced • Erving Goffman — Impression Management / The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life • Dr. Brené Brown — Shame, Vulnerability, and Armor • Arthur Aron — Self-Expansion Theory and Love • Helen Fisher — The Neuroscience of Heartbreak and Love as Addiction • Dr. James Pennebaker — Emotional Suppression and Physical Health Reflection Question Who in your life would make time for your truth — but you keep giving them “fine” instead? What would it cost you to tell them one real thing this week? Connect & Work With Evet Website: www.decotalifecoaching.com Instagram: @decotalifecoaching.com

    1h 24m
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About

The Original Self Podcast explores the psychology of resilience, identity, and meaningful personal change. Hosted by life coach Evet DeCota, a psychology-informed life coach, each episode blends real-life insight, coaching perspective, and practical mindset shifts that help you reconnect with who you truly are. Through honest conversations and reflections about confidence, habits, self-doubt, and growth, this podcast invites you to return to the version of yourself that has always been there beneath the noise.

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