Live from the Break Up Room Podcast

Andrea Squillante

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I almost got the perfect news-anchor last name. Andrea Andrews. It’d look cooler. Instead, I got a story. After 18 months, I was dumped 3 days before my birthday. So now I'm chronicling my healing and hopefully helping you while you read it. This isn’t a guide or closure. This is feeling, in live time, from the room where it happened. asquill.substack.com

15h ago

You Looked Good in My Love

You looked pretty wearing the love I gave you. And I fell in love with that image of it—with the illusion that something so visually perfect must also be emotionally right. … when I saw that picture of you from March 16th, something shifted in a way I didn’t expect. I recognized you, but it wasn’t immediate. Everything about you was recognizable. But ... You were no longer pretty for me to look at. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

10 min
2d ago

The Proudest Stranger in the Room

I once told Mr. Andrews that I wished I could have been there when he graduated the EMT Academy. He reassured me it’s “not like I was missing anything”, or somebody else had taken that place because he “didn’t haveanyone in the audience” for him. And I cried. Because I was so proud of him. Especially knowing his story. How could no one want to sit there and applaud him? I wished so badly I could go back in time and be there. I told him I would have been the proudest girlfriend, just like if I could have been there today, I would be the proudest girlfriend. But now, I am just the proudest stranger in any room he walks in. And that doesn’t sound right... Because I’m not a stranger, am I, Andrews? I was your best friend. And then we went no contact. Until today. Because it’s Medal Day. Mr. Andrews, I hold no expectation of an answer from you—don’t expect to see your name on my phone. I just… Wanted you to know. “Thought of you for Medal Day today. I hope you’ve been okay.” Stay safe. You still own a rented space in my heart and head I expect you to make it home to at the end of each day—even if that doesn’t mean ever being in my bed again. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

22 min
May 25

You Can’t Carry Forever on a Paper Plate

Your hands knew how to hold lives, but not us. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

8 min
May 15

You Made Me Like My Body

It's been three months since you broke up with me, and to say I've had no desire for intimacy would be putting it lightly. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

12 min
May 6

If I'm Being Honest...

Even if we’re not dating, even if we never have a family of our own, you’re still very intertwined in my life and everything I know. You may not be present in my life every day, but as long as I’m alive, I know you’re never fully going to go away. And I’m trying to learn to let that feel okay. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

13 min
May 1

The Version of Me I Liked the Most...

Do you know what it’s like to start falling in love with yourself, your potential, and life because of the encouragement of the person you love—to be the healthiest version of yourself in years! And then have the person you trusted and changed for tell you you’re mere existence is now too much for them? Well, I do. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

16 min
Apr 22

From Harley Quinn to the Arkham Asylum

You never asked me to be your personal Harley Quinn. That’s the part I have to be honest about… I became more than your Harley Quinn— I became your Arkham Asylum. Holding it all in for you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

9 min
Apr 14

February is Short and Honest

But maybe, just maybe, February isn’t cursed… Maybe it’s just honest. It’s that last bit of frost that needs to melt before the healing season. And depending on how you look at it, it’s the end of cuffing season. The frost is melting. People want to rediscover themselves. I’m coming to understand maybe Mr. Andrews needing more freedom. Maybe February is just that last moment before the first blade of green grass is spotted. Before the flowers bloom and you get to too. And maybe being left doesn’t mean I wasn’t worth staying for… It just means I haven’t met someone yet who knows how to stay. And for that, then this is definitely the best decision. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit asquill.substack.com/subscribe

15 min

I almost got the perfect news-anchor last name. Andrea Andrews. It’d look cooler. Instead, I got a story. After 18 months, I was dumped 3 days before my birthday. So now I'm chronicling my healing and hopefully helping you while you read it. This isn’t a guide or closure. This is feeling, in live time, from the room where it happened. asquill.substack.com

Creator

Andrea Squillante
Years Active

2K
Episodes

14
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Andrea Squillante
Show Website

Live from the Break Up Room Podcast