Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered

Alisha Burns & Rhiannon Henderson

Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered is the podcast for neurodivergent Australian mums who are tired of pretending they've got it all figured out. Each week, Melbourne mum Alisha Burns (ADHD, diagnosed later in life) and Sydney mum Rhiannon Henderson (AuDHD, diagnosed in adulthood) get honest about parenting, identity, hormones, overwhelm and the messy reality of raising kids while understanding their own neurodivergent brains for the first time. This isn't clinical ADHD content. It's two friends laughing, disagreeing and figuring it out in real time — masking, late diagnosis, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, the ADHD tax, PDA, PMDD and perimenopause, school-mum politics, and the mental load no one warns you about. If you've ever wondered why you're "too much," too sensitive, too chaotic or too inconsistent — or if you're raising a sparkly kid of your own — come for the "wait, I do that too" moments and stay because you'll laugh, learn why your brain does what it does, and feel a little less alone. New episodes every Thursday. And just remember — you were born sparkly.

  1. 4d ago

    Episode 22 - A win is a win, ok?

    This week is a proper life-update episode, and there's a lot to get through. Rhiannon opens with a 20-minute saga about a UK-exclusive Stickman Book Week costume that went missing for days, involved a full panic spiral, an actual Etsy tarot reading, and a search through every storage tub in the house — before turning up in a laundry bag the whole time. Alisha, meanwhile, had her own Book Week near-miss involving a garage door, a trapped car, and a very fast walk to school dressed as Pig the Pug. From there the conversation gets into something genuinely useful: what an ADHD medication review actually involves once you're diagnosed, why it happens every two years, and why the cost of that appointment quietly prices some people out of staying on their medication. Rhiannon shares her own experience moving up a dosage and the very real anxiety of knowing there's a ceiling she'll eventually hit. The back half of the episode is a decluttering and systems deep-dive — Rhiannon has officially finished her Wall of Doom boxes (five bags and two tubs of rubbish gone), and she and Alisha compare notes on the "everything that doesn't belong here goes in a tub" method versus a Marie Kondo-style category sort, plus a genuinely impressive rundown of the custom iPhone automations Rhiannon built to get her calendar, reminders and daily to-dos working together without another app. It closes on something heavier and lighter at once: Alisha's unexpected tears over Dolly Parton's death, and a wider conversation about why grieving a celebrity who's simply always been there — a Dolly, a Queen, a Robin Williams — is a completely normal, very human response, especially for brains wired for strong attachment. What We Talk About in This Episode A listener message about relating to Rhiannon's AUDHD content more than pure ADHD content, and the value of hosting two different neurotypes on one show The Stickman Book Week costume saga: a UK-exclusive item, a full panic spiral, an Etsy tarot reading, and finding it in the last place anyone would look Alisha's own Book Week near-miss: a blocked garage, a trapped car, and getting dressed as Pig the Pug in five minutes flat What an ADHD psych medication review actually involves, why it's required every two years, and why the cost can be prohibitive for people who need it most Revisiting the ongoing question of whether to pursue diagnosis or medication for their daughters, and a GP's advice to reassess around puberty Rhiannon's medication dosage increase (50mg to 60mg), building tolerance over time, and the anxiety of knowing there's a maximum dose The Wall of Doom boxes: officially, completely gone — five bags and two tubs of rubbish cleared out The "everything that doesn't belong on this surface goes in a tub" decluttering method, and why it beats trying to sort everything perfectly the first time Comparing that method to a Marie Kondo-style category sort (Alisha's approach with her wardrobe), and why neither method works for every kind of clutter "Pockets of organisation": aesthetically pleasing drawers next to doom boxes that still haven't been dealt with Why digital planners don't stick for ADHD brains, and the ongoing index card system progress (and self-judgment about handwriting) Rhiannon's custom iPhone Shortcuts automations: a 3am daily pull of all calendars into a reminders list, a "Deal With This Later" photo shortcut, a "Things For Later" bookmarking shortcut, and a voice-to-text "Brain Dump"/"Word Vomit" shortcut Comparing ChatGPT and Claude for building step-by-step tech projects when you need everything explained in detail Using Alexa as a shared household to-do list, and wishing all the different systems talked to each other Kindergarten news-and-show-and-tell chaos, and losing track of items mid-declutter The "speed bump" brain: why a changed plan or a person arriving early can completely derail your ability to function that morning Crying over Dolly Parton's death, the Imagination Library book programme, and explaining grief to a six-year-old Parasocial relationships and "generational cornerstones" — why grieving someone you've never met but who's always been part of your life is a real and valid response Two pieces of good news to end on: strong feedback from Alisha's membership beta group, and Rhiannon's daughter's first solo in a musical theatre performance Key Takeaways ADHD medication reviews (often required every two years once diagnosed) exist to check how the medication is actually affecting you, not to "catch" anyone — but the cost of the appointment itself can make ongoing access to medication prohibitively expensive for some people. A decluttering method doesn't have to be perfect to work: putting everything that doesn't belong in a space into one tub, then sorting it later, gets a room visibly tidy fast — even if the sorting still has to happen eventually. Different clutter needs different systems. A category-based sort (like Marie Kondo's method) can work brilliantly for one type of clutter (clothes) and completely fall apart for a house full of mixed, scattered belongings. A sudden change of plan — someone arriving early, an unexpected interruption — can create a genuine "speed bump" in an ADHD or autistic brain's ability to function, not just mild annoyance. It's not about being difficult; it's a real access issue. Grieving a public figure you've never met is a normal, valid response, especially when that person has been a genuine "cornerstone" of your life for decades. Parasocial attachment is a real phenomenon, not something to be embarrassed about. Who This Episode Is For Anyone who's ever spiralled over a lost costume the week it was actually needed. Anyone wondering what an ADHD medication review costs and why it exists. Parents trying to find a decluttering system that survives real life with kids. And anyone who felt a genuine pang of grief over a celebrity death this week and wondered if that was a normal thing to feel (it is). A Message From This Episode Progress doesn't have to be dramatic to count — a finished Wall of Doom, a tub of sorted clutter, a system that's still a work in progress, they're all wins. And it's okay to feel real grief over people who've simply always been part of your life, even if you never met them. Your feelings are valid, whether they're about a lost costume, a hard appointment, or a loss the rest of the world might not expect you to feel so deeply. Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered  Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  2. Sep 2

    Episode 21 - New Season, New Us

    This week's episode starts, as most weeks do, with a confession: Alisha has spent all day on "productive procrastination" instead of launching her new membership beta, and Rhiannon decided the most urgent task in her life was mounting a wood pelmet above her window without drilling into concrete.  From there, the hosts get into the real theme of the episode: as spring rolls around, can they finally become the kind of people who finish projects instead of just starting them? Enter the index card planning system — a low-tech, endlessly forgiving ADHD organisation method they've both been eyeing on TikTok, complete with daily cards, dividers for "someday," "waiting on" and quarterly tasks, and zero pressure to get it perfect (it's a note card, not a $40 notebook you've ruined on page one). They also run through the seasonal cleaning jobs nobody tells you about — air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters, mattress deep-cleans — while being brutally honest about the stuff that's been sitting untouched for months: the seven doom boxes, the empty photo frames, the baby book that's still only half-filled in. It's a funny, chaotic, very relatable episode about trying to build systems that actually work for brains that don't do "set and forget." What We Talk About in This Episode Alisha's "productive procrastination" while avoiding launching her new membership beta offer The wall of doom: Rhiannonn's DIY pelmet project, a staple gun mishap, and a hole in the wall she still hasn't fixed Alisha's $1,000+ Ikea bookcase build-out gone sideways, and missing her dad's DIY skills New season, new us? Deciding to commit to finishing projects rather than trying to become different people Pitching public accountability and a decluttering community for spring Alisha's seven doom boxes, working late into the night for work calls, and wanting a real sleep routine Building an actual wind-down routine instead of just intending to have one Why a flexible routine works better than a rigid schedule for ADHD brains Introducing the index card ("Sparkle Box") planning system: daily cards, dividers, colour-coding, and why simple beats perfect How the cards physically move through the week — pull them out, do the task, move it to next week if you don't Seasonal cleaning tasks neither of them knew they had to do: air-con filters, dishwasher and washing machine maintenance, dryer vent cleaning, vacuum filter washing Carpet vs floorboards when you live with anxious pets (and a French bulldog leaving slobber marks on the walls) Quick wins for spring: the five-minute bathroom declutter, cleaning mirrors, wiping down skirting boards Mattress deep-cleans, flipping mattresses, and knowing when to just buy a new one The dreaded photo-sorting task, empty photo frames, and a still-unfinished baby book Monthly wardrobe resets and prepping outfits for the week ahead "Autistic brains love routine, ADHD brains hate it" — and why the system needs to survive being ignored for a week Digital filing chaos, letting go of old files, and new-phone anxiety Naming the system "The Sparkle Box" and inviting listeners to join in for spring Key Takeaways A system only works for ADHD brains if falling off it for a week doesn't ruin it — index cards can be picked back up anytime, unlike a notebook where one skipped page feels like the whole thing is "ruined." "Out of sight, out of mind" is a real barrier, not a character flaw — having a tangible, visible reminder (a card, not just a digital list) can be the difference between remembering a task and forgetting it existed. Committing to finish what you start is a more realistic goal than trying to stop starting new projects altogether — the impulse to dive in isn't the problem, the follow-through is. Seasonal maintenance tasks (air-con filters, dryer vents, vacuum filters) are rarely taught to anyone — not doing them isn't a personal failing, it's a knowledge gap. Public or shared accountability — a friend, a community, even an Instagram audience — can be the missing piece that turns "I should really do that" into "I actually did that." A Quick Explainer: What Is the Index Card ("Sparkle Box") Planning System? It's a low-tech ADHD planning method built around a simple box of index cards instead of a notebook or app. Each card holds one task or routine — a day of the week, a recurring chore, a "someday" idea — sorted behind dividers (daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, waiting-on, someday). As you complete a task, you move its card to the back or file it under the next relevant day; if you don't get to it, it just waits until you're ready. Because nothing is permanent or handwritten into a bound page, there's no "ruined" system to abandon — you can drop it for a week and pick it back up without starting over, which is what makes it worth trying for brains that struggle with rigid digital planners and all-or-nothing habit trackers. Who This Episode Is For Anyone with a pile of half-finished home projects, a "doom box" they've been avoiding since last winter, or a graveyard of failed productivity apps on their phone. Also for anyone who has ever paid someone else to do a job, watched them do it wrong, and thought "I could have done that myself" — and anyone about to attempt spring cleaning with an ADHD brain that needs the system to be genuinely, forgivingly simple. A Message From This Episode You don't need the perfect system — you need one that survives you ignoring it for a week. Progress doesn't have to look like a finished, streamlined house; it can just look like a pile of index cards, a doom box you've finally consolidated into one place, and permission to pick it back up whenever you're ready. Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered  Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  3. Aug 26

    Ep20: I'm trying to minimise my shit

    Some weeks are just a lot. This episode starts with two very different-looking problems — one daughter who's suddenly refusing school, one daughter who's suddenly refusing food — and ends up in the same place both of them usually end up: is this a phase, is this the environment, or is this actually her brain? Alisha unpacks her daughter's abrupt swing from loving school to dreading it, working through whether it's a friendship issue, a masking-fatigue issue, or something closer to PDA, and the very relatable spiral of trying to have a calm "how was your day" conversation with a six-year-old who has nothing left in the tank to give. Rhiannon shares the equally unsettling shift in her daughter Bunny — sudden pickiness, attitude, and an OT-recommended blood test to rule out a nutrient deficiency before anyone reaches for the word "PDA." From there the conversation goes somewhere the hosts admit they've avoided for a while: should they actually get their daughters formally assessed and, if needed, medicated for ADHD? They talk through the double standard that lets "naughty little boys" get diagnosed and medicated early while girls get overlooked or told they're "just sensitive," the school-accommodation paperwork that requires a formal diagnosis to unlock, and a doctor's blunt warning about hormones, puberty and RSD that's stuck with them both. It's not all heavy — the episode also swings into the hosts' own adult executive dysfunction (Rhiannon's years-stalled recertification exam, leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step instructions like a human doesn't already know how to make a to-do list), a very candid update on Rhiannon's doom-box wardrobe project, and a warm reminder that finding your people — your fellow "neuro sparkly weirdos" — makes the whole thing easier to carry. What We Talk About in This Episode Alisha's daughter's sudden shift from loving school to dreading it, and untangling whether it's friendship dynamics, masking exhaustion, or something more like PDA A basketball-to-the-head incident and the challenge of working out what's actually upsetting a six-year-old versus what's just the most recent thing Why "how was your day" often gets nothing back, and using write-it-down/indirect strategies to get a real answer later Bunny's sudden picky eating and attitude change, and the OT's recommendation to rule out a nutrient deficiency with a blood test before considering PDA Offering choices instead of demands, and recognising a PDA-flavoured "no thank you" for what it is The big conversation: should we get our daughters formally assessed, and would we medicate them? The double standard around ADHD medication — why "disruptive" boys get diagnosed and medicated early while girls fly under the radar Why school accommodations often require a formal diagnosis on paper, not just a parent's observation A doctor's warning about puberty, hormones and RSD, and why that's shifted the hosts' thinking on timing Perfectionism, generational guilt, and parenting differently to how they were raised A school system built for the "average" kid, and what that means for kids who are struggling or excelling Executive dysfunction in adulthood: "I know the answer, I just can't start," and leaning on ChatGPT for step-by-step task breakdowns Why systems and scaffolding don't always stick, and choosing self-compassion over self-blame when they fall off Medication as something that doesn't change who you are — it just makes the doing part possible The doom-box wardrobe project: sorting, under-bed chaos, and the idea of public accountability via Instagram Body doubling, Alexa AM/PM checklists, and other accountability tools that actually work Finding your people — hyperfocusing on Lego with a fellow "neuro sparkly weirdo" — and why community matters Key Takeaways A sudden, sharp behaviour change in a child — whether it's school avoidance or food refusal — is worth investigating from multiple angles at once: physical (nutrient deficiencies, blood tests), social (friendship dynamics), and neurological (PDA, anxiety, masking fatigue), rather than assuming it's "just a phase." ADHD in girls is still routinely overlooked because the diagnostic picture was built around "disruptive" boys — quieter struggles like people-pleasing, sudden meltdowns after school, or picky eating don't fit the stereotype, so they get missed or dismissed. Formal diagnosis isn't just a label — for many families it's the only way to unlock real school accommodations, which is worth knowing before deciding to "wait and see." Executive dysfunction doesn't disappear when you become an adult — "I know what to do, I just can't start it" is a genuine, common experience, and outsourcing the step-by-step (to a person, an app, or even ChatGPT) is a legitimate strategy, not a personal failing. Medication doesn't change who your child is — it can simply make it possible for them to do the things they already want to do. Who This Episode Is For Parents wrestling with whether to pursue a formal ADHD assessment or medication for their child, especially a daughter whose struggles don't look like the "naughty boy" stereotype. Anyone who has ever known exactly what they need to do and still couldn't make themselves start. And anyone currently living next to their own doom box, wondering if today's the day it finally gets sorted. A Message From This Episode You don't need to have it all figured out — not for your kid's brain, not for your own. Whether it's a diagnosis, a blood test, a body double, or just admitting the wardrobe box has been there for six months, asking for the support you actually need isn't failure. It's how you get to the doing part. Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered [Add host personal handles / links once confirmed] Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  4. Aug 20

    Ep 19: The things Katherine Richardson could tell you

    This week's guest gets it from every angle: Katherine "Kat" Richardson is a late-diagnosed ADHDer, a mum navigating her own son's likely neurodivergence, and the author-illustrator behind The Things Enid Can Tell You — a children's book about a sparkly-brained girl that never once uses the word "ADHD." Kat and the hosts trade late-diagnosis stories that will sound painfully familiar: the report cards that said "talks too much" and "needs to apply herself," the university degrees started and abandoned on a whim, the diagnosis that arrived not as grief but as relief mixed with a strange kind of double-edged clarity — finally knowing why, and also knowing this is permanently who you are. Kat talks candidly about writing her book before she'd even fully unpacked her own masking, about the ADHD-house reality of forgotten showers and rotten apples left in odd corners, and about her very deliberate choice not to label Enid's brain at all — because a children's book that announces "this character has ADHD" lands differently to a kid than one that just lets a sparkly character be herself. It's a warm, funny, occasionally chaotic conversation about writing honestly, parenting differently to how you were parented, and giving kids language for their brains that we never had for our own. What We Talk About in This Episode Kat's late ADHD diagnosis story: report card comments, undiagnosed years, and finally asking the question out loud in her late 20s The "double-edged sword" of diagnosis: relief at finally having an answer, alongside the realisation that no amount of trying will make you different University chaos: switching degrees between Antarctic science, guide dog training and a communications degree finished via distance education at double speed Why "always early" can be the same anxiety as being late Parenting a sensory-driven, possibly-neurodivergent toddler son, and catching herself repeating the same "can you just sit still" messaging she's trying to break Reparenting: working out what actually damaged you growing up versus what was just imperfect but harmless Writing her first book, Diary of a Red Handfish, about a real endangered Tasmanian species and a real conservation project Publishing under two names — Kat for her business, Katherine Richardson for her books — and why that split exists The deliberate choice not to name ADHD or autism anywhere in The Things Enid Can Tell You, so kids can recognise themselves without a clinical label attached Avoiding stereotypes: writing a messy, imperfect, lovable character without reducing her to "the ADHD kid who's always late and disorganised" The exhausting mental load of basic self-care tasks (showers, teeth-brushing) and the tricks she uses to get herself to do them anyway Where to find Kat's books and her illustration/editing studio Key Takeaways Late diagnosis often isn't followed by grief so much as a strange, double-edged relief: "this explains everything" and "this is permanently who I am" arriving at the same time. Being chronically early can be driven by the same anxiety as being chronically late — it's still time-related distress, just pointed the other direction. The most authentic representation in children's books often comes from writing your own story first, rather than deliberately setting out to "write a diverse character." Reparenting isn't about getting everything right — it's about identifying what actually caused harm growing up and interrupting that specific pattern, not chasing an impossible standard of perfect parenting. Basic daily tasks (showering, brushing teeth) can carry a genuinely higher mental load for ADHD/autistic brains, and finding a "trick" that works is a legitimate strategy, not a failure to just "do the normal thing." Who This Episode Is For Anyone who got diagnosed later in life and is still working out what to do with that knowledge. Parents looking for children's books that let a neurodivergent-coded character just be a full, funny, flawed person rather than a walking symptom list. And anyone who has ever quietly wondered whether they should have finished that degree they abandoned in week three. A Message From This Episode You don't need permission to tell your own story, and you don't need a diagnosis to hand to prove it's real. The most authentic writing — and the most authentic parenting — usually comes from working out what actually hurt you, not from getting everything technically right. About This Episode's Guest Katherine "Kat" Richardson is an author, illustrator and late-diagnosed ADHDer. She is the author-illustrator of The Things Enid Can Tell You, a children's picture book about a sparkly-brained girl, and Diary of a Red Handfish, a self-published children's book about one of Tasmania's most endangered fish species. She also runs an illustration, editing and book design studio supporting other authors, with a particular focus on making the process accessible for neurodivergent clients. Both books are available through Kat's website and Amazon.  Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered Guest: Katherine "Kat" Richardson instagram: @peskyploverstudio  Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  5. Aug 14

    Ep18: Don't look at my rainbow bookcase

    Ever bounced your leg under a desk, reread the same book for the fourth time, or needed total silence to concentrate but constant background noise to relax? This week Alisha and Rhiannon tackle stimming — one of the most misunderstood words in the neurodivergent world. Both hosts admit they spent years assuming stimming meant "sitting in the corner rocking back and forth," only to realise, once they understood their own neurodivergence, that they'd been doing it their whole lives in dozens of different ways. This episode is the moment of recognition they wish someone had handed them years ago. They walk through what's actually happening in your nervous system when you stim, why ADHD stims and autistic stims tend to look different, and run through category after category of real examples — movement, touch, sound, visual, oral, comfort and cognitive stims — including plenty that don't look anything like the stereotype. They also get honest about the harder side: the stims that cross into harmful territory, why shame makes them worse rather than better, and how to start redirecting a harmful stim toward something that meets the same need without the damage. What We Talk About in This Episode What stimming actually is: self-stimulatory behaviour your nervous system uses to regulate itself The "volume knob" analogy — why you stim more in some situations and not others The differences between typically ADHD stims (movement- and dopamine-seeking) and typically autistic stims (sensory regulation and grounding), and why AuDHD brains often do both A full run-through of stim categories: movement, touch/tactile, sound/vocal, visual, oral/taste, pressure/comfort, and focus/cognitive stims Dozens of real, specific examples listeners are likely to recognise in themselves — many that don't look anything like the "rocking in a corner" stereotype The difference between helpful stims and harmful stims (skin picking, hair pulling, nail biting, compulsive scrolling or spending), and why the goal is redirection, not suppression How to figure out what a stim is actually giving you — stimulation, pressure, comfort, predictability — so you can find a less harmful way to get it When it's worth speaking to a GP, psychologist, OT or ADHD clinician about a stim that's causing injury or distress Masking and "socially acceptable" stims — how women in particular swap obvious stims for ones that fly under the radar, including phone scrolling, hair twirling and constant productivity Screen time as a stim for kids, and how the hosts think about it without falling into all-or-nothing parenting guilt Both hosts' own newly-recognised stims, compiled live on the episode Key Takeaways Stimming isn't a sign that something is wrong — it's your nervous system trying to regulate itself, and everyone does some version of it. ADHD stims tend to be movement-based and dopamine-seeking; autistic stims tend to be more about sensory regulation and grounding; AuDHD brains often do both. Most people are already stimming constantly without recognising it as stimming, because it doesn't match the "rocking in the corner" stereotype. Helpful stims and harmful stims aren't morally different — they're both your body asking for something. The goal with a harmful stim is to find what need it's meeting and redirect that need somewhere less damaging, not to just try to stop. Shame is the biggest barrier to managing a harmful stim. Naming what's actually happening ("my brain needs X, not that I'm broken") tends to be the first real step. A Quick Explainer: What Is Stimming? Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behaviour) is any repetitive movement, sound, or sensory action your nervous system uses to regulate itself — to calm down, focus, process excitement, or block overwhelming input. It's not exclusive to autism or ADHD (most people stim to some degree), but it tends to show up more often, more visibly, or in a wider range of ways in neurodivergent brains. Stimming becomes worth addressing when it causes physical injury, distress or starts interfering with daily life — not simply because it looks unusual to other people. Who This Episode Is For Anyone who has ever wondered why they can't sit still, can't relax without background noise, or has a slightly-too-intense relationship with fidget toys, weighted blankets or rereading the same book. Also for parents trying to understand a child's repetitive behaviours without immediately assuming something needs to be "fixed." A Message From This Episode Stimming isn't something to be embarrassed about — it's something to understand. Once you know what your nervous system is asking for, you can give it what it needs without the shame. The better question was never "how do I stop," it's "what is my brain trying to tell me?" Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered  Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  6. Aug 6

    Ep17: We're Back, Sparkly Brains: ADHD Time Blindness & Our Accidental Hiatus

    Alisha and Rhiannon return after an unplanned break to get honest about ADHD time blindness, the ADHD tax, decluttering doom piles, and parenting two very different sparkly kids.   Sixteen episodes in a row, then... silence. Alisha and Rhiannon are back after an unplanned hiatus, and instead of pretending it didn't happen, they're unpacking exactly why it did: time blindness, no accountability pressure between them, and two very full plates (a two-week US trip to see donor sibling families, a building project, and the general chaos of being a sparkly-brained parent). This is the messiest, most relatable kind of episode — the one where nothing is scripted and everything is real. They talk about the overwhelm spiral that hits when the to-do list outpaces the brain's ability to prioritise, why a Claude brain-dump session became an unlikely life hack, and the very on-brand purchase of a plastic recipe box organisation system that will probably never get built. From there it's doom piles, decluttering guilt, a 90s trivia night costume crisis, and two very different parenting flashpoints: one daughter who is "toxically positive" about coming last in a race, and one daughter whose strong sense of justice is colliding head-on with grade one mean-girl politics. It's funny, it's unfiltered, and it's a reminder that consistency doesn't mean perfection — sometimes it just means showing back up. What We Talk About in This Episode Why the podcast went quiet for a few weeks, and the ADHD time blindness behind it Rhiannon's two weeks in the US reconnecting with her daughter's donor sibling group Using AI (Claude) to triage an overwhelming brain dump into "things that make money" vs "things that can wait" The ADHD tax in real time: unused notebooks, an unbuilt recipe card organiser, and a walking pad Decluttering wins, decluttering guilt, and why "half-used" products are the hardest things to let go of A 90s trivia night costume saga (Baywatch, wrong-size swimwear, and doing it sober) Bunny's athletics carnival and the art of "toxic positivity" after coming last Lexi's perfectionism and rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) showing up in maths homework Grade one mean-girl behaviour, teaching kids to stand up for themselves, and what the school can (and can't) do about it Parenting with a diagnosis: how understanding their own neurodivergence changes how they respond to their kids, and the generational patterns they're actively trying not to repeat A genuinely useful life hack: turning getting-dressed battles into a timed, rewarded game What's coming up on the podcast, including an episode on PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) and upcoming guest episodes Key Takeaways Time blindness and low mutual accountability can snowball into a full production gap — and that's a symptom, not a character flaw. Overwhelm often isn't a "do more" problem, it's a prioritisation problem. Separating "what makes money/matters" from "what can wait" is a genuinely useful (if imperfect) declutter-your-brain tool. The ADHD tax shows up in small, sneaky ways: duplicate purchases, systems bought but never built, and impulse buys triggered by algorithm targeting. Kids can be defined by very different traits within the same family dynamic — one child's toxic positivity and another's perfectionism/RSD are both valid, both manageable, and neither is "wrong." Parenting with self-awareness of your own neurodivergence doesn't eliminate old patterns, but it does make it possible to catch them and choose differently. A Quick Explainer: What Is Time Blindness? Time blindness is a common ADHD trait where the brain struggles to accurately sense how much time has passed, how long a task will take, or how close a deadline actually is. It's not about not caring or not trying — it's a difference in how the ADHD brain processes and tracks time. For some people it looks like chronic lateness; for others (like this episode) it looks like genuinely losing track of how many weeks have gone by. Understanding it as a brain-based difference — rather than a discipline problem — is usually the first step to building supports that actually work. Who This Episode Is For Any mum who has missed a deadline, gone quiet on something she cares about, or felt the shame spiral of "I had good intentions and still didn't follow through." Also for anyone managing very different personalities in their own household, or trying to parent differently to how they were parented. A Message From This Episode You don't have to be consistent to be trustworthy. Taking the pressure off doesn't mean you don't care — sometimes it's the only way to come back at all. Follow & Connect Instagram: @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered  Subscribe & Follow New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen, and follow @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered on Instagram for clips, carousels and behind-the-scenes chaos.

  7. Jul 3

    Ep 16 - We know each other's childhood trauma but not our favourite colour

    You think you know us? Think again. In this week's episode we're stepping away from the deep dives and getting a little personal. We asked AI to give us rapid-fire questions — then spectacularly failed at the rapid-fire part — and ended up somewhere far more honest and interesting. From ADHD rage triggers to Disney dreams, impulsive purchases we absolutely justified, the tortured artists we tried to fix, and the things we actually want our daughters to remember us for. This one's lighter, warmer, and honestly? A little unhinged in the best way. We also get into: what our ADHD brains do with "free time" (spoiler: not relax), how neurodivergent women tend to attract the wrong kind of fixer-upper, and why one of us just bought a treadmill after telling a story about buying a treadmill. In this episode: → ADHD rage triggers that make zero sense (but make total sense) → The impulsive purchases we are still defending → What Hogwarts house we'd be in + which Disney princess → Why a child-free day still ends in life admin → Relationships, masking and the "I can fix him" era → What we want our daughters to remember us for → Travel, bucket lists, and the Ritz Carlton Disney tour → First loves, famous quotes, and one very unexpected quote correction Send us your questions for the next round — we want to find things we don't already know about each other. 🎧 New episodes every Thursday. Follow so you never miss one.

  8. Jun 24

    Episode 15 - The hormone stuff IS the ADHD stuff

    Is It PMS… or Is Something Else Going On? Have you ever felt like you become a completely different person for one or two weeks every month? Maybe you're more emotional, more reactive, more overwhelmed, less productive, or struggling with rage, anxiety or depression that seems to disappear almost as quickly as it arrives. In this episode, Alisha and Rhiannon dive into the growing body of research exploring the connection between ADHD, hormones, PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), perimenopause and emotional wellbeing. The conversation begins with a raw and honest discussion about parenting through illness, overwhelm and emotional exhaustion before exploring why many neurodivergent women may be experiencing hormone-related challenges that have been dismissed, misunderstood or misdiagnosed for years. The episode also unpacks a recent study involving more than 600 women that found significantly higher rates of menstrual irregularities, severe PMS symptoms, postpartum depression and menopausal symptoms among women with ADHD. Most importantly, it's a conversation about understanding yourself better, advocating for your health, and recognising that suffering through hormonal symptoms isn't something you simply have to accept. 💡 What We Talk About in This Episode • Parenting through overwhelm, sickness and emotional exhaustion • The importance of self-awareness and self-compassion • What PMDD actually is (and how it's different from PMS) • Why ADHD and hormones are not separate conversations • The luteal phase and how it can impact mood, energy and executive functioning • Why ADHD medication can feel less effective at certain times of the month • Tracking your cycle, moods and energy levels • Perimenopause and hormonal changes in women over 35 • The latest research linking ADHD and hormonal health • Different treatment options that women are exploring • Learning to work with your body instead of against it • Why "normal" doesn't always mean healthy 🧠 What Is PMDD? PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) is a recognised clinical diagnosis that goes far beyond typical PMS. While PMS may involve symptoms such as bloating, sore breasts and irritability, PMDD is characterised by much more severe emotional and psychological symptoms. These can include: Intense mood swings Severe anxiety Depression Rage Feelings of hopelessness Suicidal ideation Significant impacts on daily functioning A key feature is that symptoms typically occur during the luteal phase (the one to two weeks before a period) and often improve rapidly once menstruation begins. 📊 The Research We Discuss A recent study published in Archives of Women's Mental Health examined over 600 women, including 377 women with ADHD and 225 women without ADHD. The average participant age was 39 years. Researchers found that women with ADHD experienced: More menstrual irregularities More severe PMS symptoms Higher rates of postpartum depression Increased pregnancy complications More severe menopausal symptoms Greater hormonal challenges across every stage measured The findings support what many neurodivergent women have reported anecdotally for years: hormones can significantly influence ADHD symptoms and overall wellbeing. 🔑 Key Takeaways 1. Hormones and ADHD Are Deeply Connected Many women notice changes in focus, motivation, emotional regulation and executive functioning throughout their cycle. These changes are not "all in your head." 2. Tracking Matters You don't need to obsessively monitor every symptom, but paying attention to patterns can provide valuable insights into your moods, productivity, resilience and emotional wellbeing. 3. Your Experience Is Valid Information If you repeatedly notice severe mood changes, overwhelming emotions or significant fluctuations in functioning, those experiences are worth investigating. 4. There Are Treatment Options Different women respond differently to various approaches, including medication adjustments, hormonal treatments, antidepressants, lifestyle strategies and cycle-aware planning. 5. You Don't Need to Suffer in Silence Just because something is common doesn't mean it's normal or something you should simply endure. ❤️ A Conversation About Self-Compassion One of the most powerful themes throughout this episode is the reminder that understanding ourselves allows us to be kinder to ourselves. Whether it's recognising when you're overstimulated, identifying hormonal patterns, understanding your ADHD, or simply acknowledging that you're exhausted, awareness creates opportunities to make different choices. Sometimes the goal isn't perfection. Sometimes the goal is recognising what you need before you reach breaking point. 👩‍👧 Parenting, Emotional Regulation & Real Life The episode opens with a candid discussion about parenting through a difficult weekend, highlighting something many parents experience: Sometimes both parent and child are struggling at the same time. Alisha shares how recognising her own needs allowed her to make a decision that supported both herself and her daughter, rather than forcing herself to push through and mask her feelings. It's a powerful reminder that looking after yourself is not selfish—it often allows you to show up more effectively for your children. 🎯 Questions to Reflect On Do you notice patterns in your mood throughout your cycle? Are there times of the month when your ADHD symptoms feel worse? What situations consistently leave you overstimulated? How might tracking your energy, emotions or cycle help you understand yourself better? Where could you offer yourself more compassion? 👩‍⚕️ Important Note This episode is based on personal experiences and discussion of emerging research. It is not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe mood changes, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, or symptoms that are affecting your quality of life, please seek support from a qualified healthcare professional. 📲 Follow & Connect Follow along for more honest conversations about: ADHD in women Autism and neurodivergence Hormones and mental health Parenting Emotional wellbeing Self-compassion and self-discovery @motherhoodunmaskedunfiltered 🎧 Subscribe & Follow Follow Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered for weekly conversations about: • ADHD and autism in women • Neurodivergent parenting • Hormones and mental health • Perimenopause and women's health • Real life motherhood • Friendship, growth and self-awareness New episodes every Thursday. 💥 Episode Highlights The parenting breakthrough that came from recognising personal limits Why PMDD is far more than "bad PMS" The ADHD-hormone connection many women never hear about A major study examining ADHD across the female hormonal lifespan Why ADHD medication may feel different throughout your cycle Exploring treatment options without shame Learning to identify patterns instead of blaming yourself The importance of advocating for your health

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About

Motherhood: Unmasked & Unfiltered is the podcast for neurodivergent Australian mums who are tired of pretending they've got it all figured out. Each week, Melbourne mum Alisha Burns (ADHD, diagnosed later in life) and Sydney mum Rhiannon Henderson (AuDHD, diagnosed in adulthood) get honest about parenting, identity, hormones, overwhelm and the messy reality of raising kids while understanding their own neurodivergent brains for the first time. This isn't clinical ADHD content. It's two friends laughing, disagreeing and figuring it out in real time — masking, late diagnosis, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), executive dysfunction, sensory overwhelm, the ADHD tax, PDA, PMDD and perimenopause, school-mum politics, and the mental load no one warns you about. If you've ever wondered why you're "too much," too sensitive, too chaotic or too inconsistent — or if you're raising a sparkly kid of your own — come for the "wait, I do that too" moments and stay because you'll laugh, learn why your brain does what it does, and feel a little less alone. New episodes every Thursday. And just remember — you were born sparkly.

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