The Unauthorized Autobiography of David Schmoot

David Schmoot

This is not the tidy, triumphant memoir of a hero overcoming adversity. This is the play-by-play of a human being stumbling forward in real time. No lessons. No morals. No personal growth. Displayed are David’s deeply personal triumphs, seismic regrets, little wins and large humiliations. Every story is true and in chronological order so as every questionable decision bleeds into the next, you’ll witness the slow, chaotic construction of a personality. This is the Unauthorized Autobiography of David Schmoot.

Episodes

  1. May 28

    Chapter 10 - Monster Under the Bed

    My younger, sexier self.    Song: Shame Shame Shame by the Stones https://open.spotify.com/track/0l5i2lHBBB1UqFg44HSMuF?si=941784f978ae4462

    10 min

  2. Apr 28

    Chapter 9 - The Stairs

    Punishing your children and yourself.

    9 min

  3. Apr 13

    Chapter 8 - Mountain Don't

    Never get into a pissing contest with your brother.    Song: The Hollies "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother."  https://open.spotify.com/track/2ooZajrDL4Com6ZUW736le?si=97af91b98b614817

    9 min

  4. Mar 16

    Chapter 7 - Piano Lessons

    After school lessons.  Song: Moanin' by Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers https://open.spotify.com/track/4Vkk3iD1VrENHJEACNddvt?si=cb190791b36548bb

    9 min
  5. Chapter 6 - All School Massacre

    Mar 3

    Chapter 6 - All School Massacre

    The genesis of being terrified of public speaking.    Song: Leonard Cohen "Hallelujah" https://open.spotify.com/track/7yzbimr8WVyAtBX3Eg6UL9?si=68ff4fb18ddb40d5

    13 min
  6. Chapter 5 - Lazy Eye

    Mar 3

    Chapter 5 - Lazy Eye

    It's not a wandering eye, it's a lazy eye.    Song: X-Press 2 (featuring David Byrne) "Lazy" https://open.spotify.com/track/2IhsxXGKDltJu5PCA8yExZ?si=bf4e889a555b4ed4

    9 min
  7. Chapter 4 - It's a Boy!

    Mar 3

    Chapter 4 - It's a Boy!

    Bathrooms in airplanes.    Song: The Cowsills "We Can Fly"  https://open.spotify.com/track/4mf07kgBgBt4nChjn5M9SE?si=99cb47ad954345e0

    8 min
  8. Chapter 3 - Opening Day

    Mar 3

    Chapter 3 - Opening Day

    McDonald's comes to town.    Song: Yacht "Psychic City"  https://open.spotify.com/track/4NWpGwfkWMlA7G2ZpFKDXZ?si=15063b67324f4f59

    8 min
  9. Chapter 2 - Bed of Death

    Mar 3

    Chapter 2 - Bed of Death

    If you were an adventurous child, you should not be alive.    Song: Red Simpson "Diesel Smoke, Dangerous Curve."  https://open.spotify.com/track/7Am294mTThMXQF1ol3zylX?si=6199cadfcff24349

    9 min
  10. Chapter 1 - Sermon Baby

    Mar 3

    Chapter 1 - Sermon Baby

    A baby in church. You may think you know how it ends, but you don't.    Song: Norman Greenbaum Spirit in the Sky  https://open.spotify.com/track/1RrdiG35aqA1mjceM2Wm90?si=3ab5bc5bac204579

    7 min
  11. Listen to This First

    Mar 3

    Listen to This First

    Start. Hear.  Song: Kevin Morby's Excellent City Music https://open.spotify.com/track/09Ch1J59rlCnAv5ojS77XJ?si=360c449b43f54f56

    4 min

Trailer

About

This is not the tidy, triumphant memoir of a hero overcoming adversity. This is the play-by-play of a human being stumbling forward in real time. No lessons. No morals. No personal growth. Displayed are David’s deeply personal triumphs, seismic regrets, little wins and large humiliations. Every story is true and in chronological order so as every questionable decision bleeds into the next, you’ll witness the slow, chaotic construction of a personality. This is the Unauthorized Autobiography of David Schmoot.

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