In this deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation, host Harry reconnects with his childhood friend Dr. AJ — a relationship that goes all the way back to their school days at Nasr School in Hyderabad, India. What unfolds is part reunion, part masterclass in resilience, identity, and the power of self-belief. Dr. AJ shares her journey from a vibrant childhood in South India, to immigrating to the US at 14, to surviving two traumatic brain injuries that reshaped the entire trajectory of her life — and ultimately led her to her true calling. Key Topics Childhood & Early Influences Dr. AJ grew up primarily in Hyderabad after being born in the coastal town of Kakinada. Her aunt — just 10 years her senior — was her biggest early influence, shaping her sense of compassion, fairness, and boundaries through both positive experiences and the hardships she witnessed her aunt face as a woman in Indian society. Immigration at 14 Moving to the US after ninth grade, Dr. AJ navigated the cultural transition with her family structure intact at home, which she describes as a "warm blanket" — protective, though occasionally smothering. She adapted quickly, losing her accent within 10 days by immersing herself in the language, crediting Nasr's rigorous multilingual education as a key advantage. Traumatic Brain Injuries — The Turning Points First TBI (college): A concussion that went largely untreated and unrecognized as a brain injury at the time. In its aftermath, she experienced cognitive changes and personality shifts that led doctors to suggest a personality disorder — which ironically sparked her interest in psychology. Second TBI (grad school): Hit by a car just two days after being accepted into her doctoral program, she suffered a severe brain injury including multiple blood clots and a subdural hematoma. With minimal medical support due to student insurance, she rebuilt her cognitive abilities largely on her own — through crossword puzzles, Sudoku, gaming, and sheer determination — going on to pass her doctoral comprehensive exams with nearly a perfect score and defending her PhD on Ugadi (Telugu New Year) in 2012. Why She Calls Her TBI a Blessing Without prescribed PT or OT, Dr. AJ had no one telling her how her recovery "should" look. This removed all external limits and expectations, forcing her to discover what actually worked for her brain — a process she now sees as one of the greatest gifts of her life. On Resilience — And Why She Rejects the Word Dr. AJ offers a thought-provoking challenge to the concept of resilience. For many people — especially those from marginalized communities — bouncing back isn't a choice; it's the only option. Calling that "resilience," she argues, implies there was an alternative. Defining Strength Rather than offering a fixed definition, Dr. AJ describes strength as "whatever you choose to develop in that moment." She rejects the binary of strength versus weakness, arguing that what we call weaknesses are simply skills we haven't chosen to develop — and that most strengths, including mindset and clarity, can be cultivated with investment and intention. On Being Seen and Heard Dr. AJ's advice for anyone who feels invisible or unheard: start by seeing and hearing yourself first. Clarity about what you actually want — to be right, to be acknowledged, or simply to feel seen — is the prerequisite for communicating it to others. "Making the invisible visible" starts from within. Rituals That Keep Her Grounded Watching Chinese dramas (for their delightful absurdity and underlying human stories) Gaming (daily — especially puzzle games like Sudoku and Candy Crush when problem-solving) Art and creative expression "Not doing it was just not an option. It just wasn't an option." "A weakness is something you've just chosen not to develop." Memorable Quotes"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." (Winnie the Pooh )
