you've had a baby...not a lobotomy

Samantha Murrell

We should be mothering amongst the stories of motherhood - its complexities, joys and challenges. We should have been supported and mentored through it, with the knowledge being passed down from generation to generation. But today we mother largely in isolation, away from our families, friends and communities. It was never meant to be this way. Without all of this we lack the reference to make sense of our own experiences and the language to express how we are feeling. It leaves mothers feeling disconnected, lost and believing there is something wrong with them. 'You've had a baby not a lobotomy' is a podcast lifting the lid on motherhood, bringing you real, raw and honest stories from real mothers - with no experts or gurus. It challenges the damaging modern narrative of the perfect mother and celebrates mothers thriving in modern motherhood, doing it their own, damn way!

  1. 1d ago

    This is my motherhood story

    In this first episode of season 2 of the glammed up podcast, I'm starting with a special episode and format. I'm handing over the mic. For the first time ever, I'm the guest on my own podcast and the brilliant Laura Greenwood from Laura Greenwood Therapy is asking the questions. Laura is one of my closest, most trusted friends. We met studying motherhood and matrescence coaching and facilitating together back in 2020, and she knows my story in a way very few people do. She's also a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, now specialising in supporting mothers to find themselves underneath all the noise of who they think they're supposed to be. She was the first person I thought of when I decided to do this episode. In this episode, I share my postpartum story for the first time in full. The anxiety that hit like a sledgehammer from day one. The intrusive thoughts. The constant internal monologue telling me I was failing at the most important thing I'd ever done. nd how, underneath all of it, undiagnosed ADHD was shaping every single part of my experience and I had absolutely no idea. We talk about: The emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity that I can now trace all the way back to childhood and what it meant to grow up being told I was "too sensitive" and "too dramatic"Why postpartum was the moment the mask slipped and why that was so brutal for an undiagnosed neurodiverse brainThe connection between hormones, dopamine, sleep deprivation and ADHD that made my postpartum so intenseIntrusive thoughts — what they really are, how common they are, and why my ADHD brain made them so much harder to shakeHow I've consciously parented Luna in the ways I didn't get and why repair matters as much as getting it rightWhat my ADHD diagnosis finally gave me: language, understanding, and permission to make sense of my own lifeAnd the one thing I whisper to Luna every single night, which, if I'm honest, I'm saying to that little girl in me too. This is the episode I've been building up to since I started this podcast. It's a long and deeply vulnerable share, so buckle up! FIND LAURA GREENWOOD HERE www.lauragreenwoodtherapy.com Instagram: @lauragreenwood_therapy MOTHERS' HOOD Work with me: www.mothershood.co.uk Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    1h 25m

  2. Jun 16

    Season 2 Trailer - She's Back!

    She's back! And she's had a glow up. If you found your way here from the old days of The Mothers Hood Podcast, welcome back. And if you're new, I'm so happy to have you here too. Samantha Murrell is a Back-to-Work Coach and Matrescence Guide for women returning to the workplace after having a baby and Season 2 of You've Had a Baby, Not a Lobotomy is here to do what mainstream media still isn't — hold space for the real conversations about motherhood, identity, career, and ambition. This isn't about muddling through. It's about thriving. It's about the women who did everything right, followed the path, and then motherhood turned everything inside out and upside down, and now they're asking, what the f**k happened to me? It's about the transition that nobody properly prepares you for, and what becomes possible when you actually are supported through it. Season 2 is going to be honest, warm, a little disruptive, and so needed in a world that doesn't value motherhood. Hit follow or subscribe wherever you're listening and come and join the conversation. You've Had a Baby, Not a Lobotomy is an independent podcast hosted by Samantha Murrell and produced by Decibel Creative.

    3 min
  3. 10 - It’s Not the Glass Ceiling Holding Mothers Back with Tamsin Broster.

    07/28/2025

    10 - It’s Not the Glass Ceiling Holding Mothers Back with Tamsin Broster.

    In this episode, I’m joined by Tamsin Broster, feminist visibility and confidence coach, former Ministry of Defence leader, mother of two and all-round powerhouse.  Tamsin shares her deeply personal story of stepping away from a 20-year civil service career to reclaim her identity, rebuild her confidence and rewrite what success means not just as a mother, but as a woman navigating loss, IVF, leadership, and the complexity of modern motherhood. This is a raw, rich, and honest conversation about what it means to live through matrescence in its fullest expression. From navigating IVF treatments, perimenopause and sandwich caregiving, to ultimately choosing joy and visibility on her own terms. Listen as we we talk about: The hidden toll of IVF while holding a senior roleWhat happens when the "maternal wall" collides with career ambitionResentment, rage, and reckoning with identity after her second childThe legacy she’s intentionally rewriting for her children TAMSIN BROSTER Tamsin is a feminist visibility and confidence coach who helps women stop shrinking and become the face of their business. She works with entrepreneurs, creatives, and leaders navigating body image issues, impostor syndrome, and the pressure to look or act a certain way. With a background in MoD Logistics and Commercial support, she understands the leadership challenges women face and the work required to shift identity from a long term career into entrepreneurship. Her work is rooted in the belief that the world changes when women stop waiting to feel ready and start taking up space exactly as they are. Known for her warmth, humour, and straight-talking style, Tamsin brings a powerful blend of compassion and challenge to every stage. https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamsin-broster-1a66a8210/ https://www.instagram.com/tamsin_broster MOTHERS’ HOOD Work with me www.mothershood.co.uk Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    37 min

  4. 07/21/2025

    9 - Why Becoming A Mother Supercharges Your Career

    Listen up as I drop some truth bombs in this episode, waxing lyrical on why becoming a mother can accelerate your career like a bat out of h*ll! We’re telling mothers that they lack drive, determination, commitment and that when the baby arrives, that’s it, it’s game over for their career and they’ll just shuffle off into the background. But what if I told you this doesn't have to be the case? What if I told you that becoming a mother is a supercharged way of achieving bigger and better things in your career? It can be the beginning of realising that you can achieve success on your own terms without burnout, overwhelm or exhaustion. Giving the finger to the stuff that’s been weighing you down, shunning the outdated beliefs about motherhood and what success means is key to this.  Recognising that we’re still carrying more than our fair share of the domestic/mental/emotional load at home AND living in a society that doesn’t value caregiving also comes into play is also important. MOTHERS’ HOOD Get yourself subscribed to my newsletter, The Confident Comeback for more of the good stuff about forging ahead in your career whilst being the mother you desire to be. www.mothershood.co.uk/newsletter Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    29 min
  5. 8 - Letting go of the Perfect Family Ideal with Robin Lynn

    07/14/2025

    8 - Letting go of the Perfect Family Ideal with Robin Lynn

    In this moving episode, I sit down with Robin Lynn.  Robin is a clarity coach, speaker, musician and the unapologetic host of the Gucci God podcast. As the founder of Robin Lynn Coaching, Robin guides women through life’s pivots with power, prayer, and a little bit of cosmic spice. Robin shares her journey into and through motherhood. From navigating postpartum with bipolar disorder and infidelity to being blindsided in a custody battle, to redefining what it means to be a “good mother”.  We talk about the expectations we carry, the stories we inherit and how motherhood rarely, if ever, looks the way we imagined. And more than anything, this episode is a testament to what’s possible when you stop judging yourself and start building something that works for you and your child even if it doesn’t look picture-perfect on the outside. FIND ROBIN HERE: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-weaver-04048182/ ABOUT ROBIN: Robin Lynn is a clarity coach, speaker, musician, and the unapologetic host of the Gucci God podcast—a bi-spiritual sanctuary for women who love Jesus and their crystals. With a Master’s in Neuroscience & Education from Columbia University and years of experience in transformational coaching, Robin empowers women to break free from people-pleasing, reconnect with their purpose, and rise into the woman God designed them to be. Her unique approach blends brain-based strategy with soul-led alignment, uniting the sacred and the stylish in every session. As the founder of Robin Lynn Coaching, creator of the On Purpose 1:1 mentorship, and leader of Clarity Club, Robin guides women through life’s pivots with power, prayer, and a little bit of cosmic spice. Whether she’s coaching clients, playing the pipe organ in church, or preaching truth on Instagram, she embodies what it means to walk holy and high-vibe—rosary in one hand, rose quartz in the other. FOLLOW ROBIN LYNN: Instagram: @robinlynncoaching Facebook: Robin Weaver Podcast: Gucci God  GET GROUNDED Learning to connect to myself was one of the most important parts of discovering who I was and what I really wanted when I became a mother - and it still is. We grew up giving away our power - looking for answers externally when we had them inside all along. Realising this was profound for me. But it took practice - over and over. Getting still. Listening. Connecting. Acting on the whispers and nudges, building trust with ourselves. I’ve created a free 5 minute audio for you, called Get Grounded, to download so you can start today. It’s available to download here: https://www.mothershood.co.uk/get-grounded Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    27 min
  6. 7- From Supermum Addiction to Softening & Slowing Down with Layla O'Mara

    07/07/2025

    7- From Supermum Addiction to Softening & Slowing Down with Layla O'Mara

    We live in a culture that celebrates and almost idolises mothers who appear to do it all and have it all together. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle - we do more and more and are praised for doing so, so we continue to do more and more because that praise and recognition feels good.  But this is often an appearance and frequently masks burnout and exhaustion.   In episode 7, Layla O’Mara shares her experience of being Supermum and the effect it had on her. Listen as Layla shares  The starkly contrasting experiences of the postpartum periods of her first two children in Germany with her third in IrelandHow searching for answers about postpartum care led her to training as a doula and the healing that came from thatHow diving deeper into learning and understanding about motherhood concepts and matrescence was a game changer for her to understanding her own mothering experiences and how the societal expectations contributed to her own burnout and overwhelm.  We end the conversation with Layla describing how she is letting go of all of the baggage that she picked up along the way on the expectations of motherhood and how she is now softening and slowing down.  I hope this episode highlights the damaging conditioning around modern motherhood which makes us strive to do more and be more at the expense of our well-being. Being aware of it is the first step in healing from it and rejecting those parts that do not serve you. Find Layla online: Layla is a Motherhood and Matrescence guide and also works as a 5 Element acupuncturist from her home in Wicklow, Ireland. Find her below: Instagram:  @nuanuaonline Facebook: @nuanua Website: www.nuanuaonline.com Resources The Heroin's Journey by Maureen Murdoch GET GROUNDED Learning to connect to myself was one of the most important parts of discovering who I was and what I really wanted when I became a mother - and it still is. We grew up giving away our power - looking for answers externally when we had them inside all along. Realising this was profound for me. But it took practice - over and over. Getting still. Listening. Connecting. Acting on the whispers and nudges, building trust with ourselves. I’ve created a free 5 minute audio for you, called Get Grounded, to download so you can start today. It’s available to download here: https://www.mothershood.co.uk/get-grounded Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    41 min
  7. 6 - The Friction of Modern Motherhood to A Feminist Awakening with Rachelle Glendon

    06/30/2025

    6 - The Friction of Modern Motherhood to A Feminist Awakening with Rachelle Glendon

    The return to work for most mothers, who chose to or have to, is not smooth sailing. We have birthed and nurtured a new life and our lives have radically changed. Then we enter back into a world that does not recognise or value our mothering roles and the additional energy and time this requires.  This week’s guest, Rachelle Glendon, experienced this ‘friction point’ after the birth of her second child.  Listen as we discuss: The resentment and overwhelm Rachelle felt when she wasn’t able to fulfil her calling for ‘something more’ and how this manifested in frustration with her husband and internally with herself Rachelle’s exploration into what was going on leading to her recognising how modern patriarchal motherhood affects both men and women and how this dynamic was playing out in her marriage.How this feminist awakening changed her relationship with her husband and how she showed up as a mother. She also discusses how her way of living slow is counter-cultural and what this brings up but how it enables her to show up and enjoy life as a mother, wife, friend and for herself.  We end on the story of her recent big solo trip which was a huge step for her and how it benefitted both her and her whole family. I hope this episode highlights the pressures of modern motherhood and how we are set up to fail in a culture that does not value the role of mothers. We often look internally for our shortcomings but please know it’s not you who isn’t enough or who doesn’t do enough – we were never meant to mother alone and the modern idealisation of motherhood is unachievable and unrealistic.   Find Rachelle online: Rachelle is a slow living coach for busy Mums. Find her below and join her community to embrace a slow living lifestyle and get clear on the essentials to create an intentional, fulfilled life. Instagram:  @ howtoliveslow Facebook: @howtoliveslow Website: www.howtoliveslow.com Podcast: www.howtoliveslow.com/podcast GET GROUNDED Learning to connect to myself was one of the most important parts of discovering who I was and what I really wanted when I became a mother - and it still is. We grew up giving away our power - looking for answers externally when we had them inside all along. Realising this was profound for me. But it took practice - over and over. Getting still. Listening. Connecting. Acting on the whispers and nudges, building trust with ourselves. I’ve created a free 5 minute audio for you, called Get Grounded, to download so you can start today. It’s available to download here: https://www.mothershood.co.uk/get-grounded Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    52 min

  8. 06/19/2025

    5 - Who the h*ll am I?

    In this first solo episode, I open up about my own journey of becoming a mother and returning to work. The disorientation, the guilt, the tears and the transformation that followed.  If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Who the h*ll am I now?” after becoming a mother, this one's for you. I share how discovering matrescence — the transformation of a woman to a mother — changed everything for me. From feeling lost, anxious and unseen, to finding clarity, purpose and confidence. And a lot of letting go of the things that no longer served me. GET GROUNDED Learning to connect to myself was one of the most important parts of discovering who I was and what I really wanted when I became a mother - and it still is. We grew up giving away our power - looking for answers externally when we had them inside all along. Realising this was profound for me. But it took practice - over and over. Getting still. Listening. Connecting. Acting on the whispers and nudges, building trust with ourselves. I’ve created a free 5 minute audio for you, called Get Grounded, to download so you can start today. It’s available to download here: https://www.mothershood.co.uk/get-grounded Come and find me here: Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-murrell-03966132/

    21 min
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About

We should be mothering amongst the stories of motherhood - its complexities, joys and challenges. We should have been supported and mentored through it, with the knowledge being passed down from generation to generation. But today we mother largely in isolation, away from our families, friends and communities. It was never meant to be this way. Without all of this we lack the reference to make sense of our own experiences and the language to express how we are feeling. It leaves mothers feeling disconnected, lost and believing there is something wrong with them. 'You've had a baby not a lobotomy' is a podcast lifting the lid on motherhood, bringing you real, raw and honest stories from real mothers - with no experts or gurus. It challenges the damaging modern narrative of the perfect mother and celebrates mothers thriving in modern motherhood, doing it their own, damn way!

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