The Relational Safety Podcast

Stephanie Underwood, RSW
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Mental Health
  • Updated Weekly

The Relational Safety Podcast challenges the fragmentation in modern trauma theory. Hosted by Registered Social Worker and researcher Stephanie Underwood, the podcast explores relational trauma through the lens of attachment, predictive processing, and relational learning. The Relational Safety Framework proposes that early relationships shape learned models of what to expect from others, influencing how relational cues are interpreted, how threat and safety are inferred, and which protective strategies are selected. By examining attachment strategies as adaptive responses and schemas as learned relational meaning structures, the podcast offers a clear framework for understanding how relational patterns develop, persist, and change through new experiences of safety.

Episodes

  1. 2d ago

    Episode 11: Predictive Processing and Why You React Like the Past Is Still Happening

    Your brain isn't recording reality - it’s guessing. And those guesses are shaped by everything you've learned before, including the things you wish you hadn't. In this episode, I break down predictive processing, a framework from neuroscience that explains why two people can hear the same words and walk away with completely different interpretations, why knowing something intellectually doesn't always change how you react, and why old relational patterns persist even when you consciously understand they no longer apply. We cover priors, prediction error, precision, active inference, and how trauma and attachment shape the predictive models your nervous system runs in the background of every relationship you have. We also get into the debate about whether trauma is "stored in the body" - and what predictive coding suggests instead.

  2. 6d ago

    Episode 10: The Treatment Gap: Why Our Trauma Therapies Weren't Built for Relational Trauma

    EMDR, CPT, Prolonged Exposure; these are the gold-standard trauma treatments. But their entire evidence base was built on single-event PTSD: combat, accidents, single assaults. None of them were developed or validated for relational trauma, which is what most therapists actually see in clinical practice. In this episode, I break down the research gap between what we treat and what we have evidence for, why the APA reclassified EMDR to second-line status, and what happens to clients when single-event treatments don't work on relational trauma - including how treatment failure reinforces the exact schemas clients came to therapy to heal. This is the most important episode I've recorded so far. If you've ever tried trauma therapy and felt like it didn't work, this one is for you. The problem might not be you.

  3. Jun 25

    Episode 9: Five Things the Relational Safety Framework Gets Right About Human Connection

    In this episode, i’m walking you through five key takeaways from the framework, covering why relational safety is a biological survival need, how your schemas function as predictive threat maps rather than broken thinking, the four hidden domains your nervous system monitors in every relationship, why attachment styles are survival toolkits and not personality flaws, and why insight alone is never enough to create lasting change.

  4. Apr 17

    Episode 8: What Gets Activated in Anxious/Avoidant Relationships

    In this episode, we move beyond labels like “anxious” and “avoidant” and look at what’s actually happening in real time through a clinical-style case. When schemas are triggered, the nervous system detects threat, and attachment strategies take over. It's all about safety. This isn’t about who’s right or wrong. It’s about understanding the mechanism behind why the same patterns keep repeating - and why insight alone isn’t enough to change them.

  5. Apr 8

    Episode 7: Breaking it Down: The Relational Safety Framework

    In this special episode of the podcast, we wanted to break down The Relational Safety Framework in a way that makes it easier to understand. Take a listen to these two hosts as they break it down and provide you with an overview of the framework in order to better get to understand yourself and those around you. Note: AI-generated content is utilized in this particular episode to illustrate the relational safety framework and break down psychological concepts for educational storytelling.

  6. Mar 19

    Episode 6: Attachment Isn’t Who You Are. It’s How You Protect Yourself.

    Attachment isn’t who you are, it’s how you protect yourself. In this episode, we break down self-regulation, how attachment styles form, and why anxious and avoidant patterns are adaptive strategies shaped by your nervous system’s need for safety.

  7. Mar 11

    Episode 5: Why Trauma Repeats — The Brain’s Loyalty to Familiarity

    In Episode 5 of The Relational Safety Podcast, Stephanie explores why relational trauma tends to repeat itself across relationships. She explains how the brain prioritizes familiarity over happiness, how Early Maladaptive Schemas drive relational reenactments, and why people often find themselves drawn to dynamics that mirror early attachment environments. This episode introduces the concept of schema confirmation and examines how the nervous system reinforces familiar safety predictions even when they produce painful outcomes.

  8. Mar 5

    Episode 4: When Safety Fails - How Attachment Strategies Are Born

    In Episode 4 of The Relational Safety Framework, Stephanie explores how repeated disruptions in relational safety crystallize into attachment strategies and Early Maladaptive Schemas. She explains how the nervous system adapts to unsafe environments, why different children develop different survival strategies in the same household, and how these protective adaptations persist into adulthood. This episode connects safety appraisal to attachment patterns and reframes attachment styles as intelligent nervous system strategies rather than personality traits.

  9. Feb 26

    Episode 3: What is Safety

    In this third episode of The Relational Safety Framework, Stephanie Underwood explores the core organizing principle behind relational trauma: safety. She breaks down how the brain calculates safety, why belonging equals survival from an evolutionary perspective, and how early relational experiences shape global safety conclusions that influence attachment strategies and Early Maladaptive Schemas. This episode clarifies the difference between comfort and safety and explains why both relational recalibration and cognitive insight are required in the resolution of relational trauma.

  10. Feb 25

    Episode 2: Why Trauma Forms: Safety, Meaning, and the Nervous System

    In this episode of Why Trauma Persists, Stephanie Underwood, RSW, explores the foundational mechanisms that shape how trauma forms. Why are humans so vulnerable to relational trauma? What makes our species different from other animals? And why does safety sit at the core of attachment, Early Maladaptive Schemas, and nervous system regulation? This episode introduces three essential components that contribute to trauma formation: ​ Altricial development and co-regulation​ Meaning-making as a uniquely human survival adaptation​ The nervous system’s primary commitment to survival Humans are wired for connection. We are shaped by early relational experiences, and we assign meaning to everything around us. From a passing comment to global events. Understanding these mechanisms is the first step toward understanding why trauma persists and how relational safety becomes the path forward. This episode lays the theoretical foundation for the Relational Safety Framework and sets the stage for the deeper exploration to come.

  11. Feb 24

    Episode 1: Why this Framework Exists

    In this introductory episode, registered social worker Stephanie Underwood presents the Relational Safety Framework, an integrative model for understanding relational trauma. Despite advances in trauma therapies such as EMDR, Somatic Therapy, Internal Family Systems, and Emotion-Focused Therapy, many individuals continue to struggle with repeating relational patterns. This episode explores the gap in trauma research related to chronic relational trauma, including attachment trauma, developmental trauma, and betrayal trauma.

  12. Season 1 Trailer

    The Relational Safety Podcast - Trailer

    The Relational Safety series challenges the fragmentation in modern trauma theory. Hosted by Registered Social Worker and graduate researcher Stephanie Underwood, this series introduces an integrative framework for understanding relational trauma. By examining attachment strategies as protective nervous system responses and early maladaptive schemas as relational meaning structures, the series offers a coherent model for how patterns form and how safety supports change. New episodes every Thursday.

Trailer

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About

The Relational Safety Podcast challenges the fragmentation in modern trauma theory. Hosted by Registered Social Worker and researcher Stephanie Underwood, the podcast explores relational trauma through the lens of attachment, predictive processing, and relational learning. The Relational Safety Framework proposes that early relationships shape learned models of what to expect from others, influencing how relational cues are interpreted, how threat and safety are inferred, and which protective strategies are selected. By examining attachment strategies as adaptive responses and schemas as learned relational meaning structures, the podcast offers a clear framework for understanding how relational patterns develop, persist, and change through new experiences of safety.

Information

  • Creator
    Stephanie Underwood, RSW
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    12
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Stephanie Underwood, RSW
  • Show Website
    The Relational Safety Podcast