The Essence of You Podcast

Steph Lokelani

Who are you when you take away the job title, the roles, the labels, and just be? Through intimate, unscripted conversations with host, Steph Lokelani, The Essence of You Podcast dives deep into the core of the human experience with people from all walks of life. New episodes release every Friday, with guests whose stories are as unique as the outfits they choose to wear, because yes, this is both a video AND audio podcast. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Tell me a little bit about you and let's get you in an episode! https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou

  1. 6d ago

    Jenny Mundy-Castle On Consent & A Life Across Continents | The Essence of You Podcast

    Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, including childhood experiences (approx. 13:20–28:25). Support is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org. Mild Ted Lasso spoiler (newest season) at approx. 59:10. Steph Lokelani sits down with educator, curriculum leader, and writer Jenny Mundy-Castle for a wide-ranging conversation about consent, resilience, education, and a life lived across continents. Born in Edinburgh and raised in Nigeria, Ireland, Texas, upstate New York, and Santa Fe, Jenny shares what it means to be a Third Culture Kid and how a frightening chapter in Abuja ultimately led her to Boise. Jenny opens up about her memoir, Every Time I Didn't Say No: A Memoir of Consent, written in the wake of #MeToo. She talks about examining the gray areas of consent, what EMDR therapy revealed about her writing process, and how family and old friends reacted when she published her story. Then the conversation turns lighter: a speculative YA novel set in Los Alamos, a suburban satire inspired by Meridian, 18 years in the classroom, the politics of public education, and why rigor isn't the same as more hoops in gifted education. Jenny reflects on the Santa Fe democratic free school that set her on a path to Columbia, her sprawling family across three continents, and the one word that describes her at her core. ABOUT JENNY MUNDY-CASTLE: Jenny Mundy-Castle is an educator, writer, and creative thinker whose work explores identity, resilience, creativity, and human potential. A graduate of Columbia University, she holds a master’s degree in education from Pace University and two Education Specialist degrees in Educational Leadership and English as a New Language. With more than two decades of experience teaching and leading in the United States and internationally, she currently serves as a district-level Curriculum Coordinator overseeing World Languages, Fine Arts, and Gifted and Talented education. Jenny is passionate about challenging conventional ideas of family and growth. She is also a novelist and essayist whose writing explores the complexities of human relationships and survival. KEY TAKEAWAYS: - Third Culture Kids may never feel fully at home anywhere, and can also make a home anywhere. - Consent lives in the gray areas. Not saying no is not the same as saying yes. - Your story is yours to tell. Survivors don't owe anyone a heads-up first. - Open conversations about assault break the cycle of shame and show others they're not alone. - Rigor means deeper thinking, not more hoops. Grades should never replace learning. - Gifted learners have a distinct academic need, not a gold star. - Public education thrives when good people stay and help it serve their communities. - Curiosity can be a compass, even when it makes staying put hard. CHAPTERS: 0:00 Content note 1:18 Welcome + meet Jenny Mundy-Castle 2:14 From Edinburgh to Lagos, Ireland, Texas & Santa Fe 4:15 Being a Third Culture Kid 5:43 What brought Jenny to Boise 7:43 Steph's path from Hawaii to Boise 8:44 Is Boise insular? 9:52 Staying put for her daughter 10:26 Steph's New York dream and Frodo 11:55 Chasing traditional publishing 13:23 "Every Time I Didn't Say No: A Memoir of Consent" 17:14 EMDR, PTSD, and writing as clarity 18:58 #MeToo and owning your story 21:03 Steph's documentary + I May Destroy You 22:13 The impact of publishing on those you write about 28:28 Revisiting a speculative YA novel 30:28 How Jenny got into writing 31:15 Favorite childhood books 32:31 Narrative nonfiction + a suburban satire 33:49 Steph's love of dark comedies 35:06 From classroom teacher to curriculum leader 36:25 The politics of public education 38:16 What makes a good teacher 39:30 Rigor vs. jumping through hoops 41:09 When grades replace learning 42:54 Steph's gifted program story 45:18 Identifying and serving gifted learners 48:48 The democratic free school that shaped her 51:54 Getting into Columbia 53:57 Where to travel next 55:32 Six wives, nine children 57:19 Who is Jenny at her core? 59:10 Ted Lasso: "I am lovable" (spoiler) 1:00:02 Rebecca, Keeley, and women supporting women 1:01:15 Wrap-up

  2. Oct 9

    Lindsay Klein on Young Moms, Breaking Poverty & Midlife Loneliness | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani sits down with Lindsay Klein, Director of Booth Programs for the Salvation Army’s Boise Corps, for a warm conversation about community care, breaking cycles of poverty, and the quiet loneliness of midlife. Lindsay walks through the surprising 105-year history of the Booth program, which began in 1921 as a maternity home in a North End farmhouse for unwed pregnant women. Today it partners with Cardinal Academy so young parents can earn their high school diplomas, with life-skills classes, a baby boutique stocked by earned points, and a new HUD-funded housing program for young parents ages 18 to 24 launching in January. She also covers the Salvation Army’s food pantry, Fresh Friday produce markets, holiday shopping sprees, and a class that helps families break generational poverty. Then it gets personal. Lindsay shares how a 2007 social work internship turned into nearly 20 years with the organization, the trip and family history that opened her eyes to poverty, and the small-town upbringing where giving time mattered more than giving money. She and Steph get honest about how isolating midlife can be, why the boring, mundane moments are worth sharing, and the friendships that last decades. ABOUT LINDSAY KLEIN Lindsay Klein is the Director of Booth Programs for the Salvation Army’s Boise Corps, where she supports young parents through education, life skills, and wraparound social services. A social worker by training, Lindsay found the Salvation Army in 2007 as an intern at its family homeless shelter and has spent nearly 20 years with the organization, including serving as Director of Social Services and working in fundraising and development before returning to the Booth program she loves. Raised in a small town in northern Idaho, Lindsay grew up believing that if you can’t give money, you can give time. Today she’s a wife and mom who spends most weekends watching her kids chase a ball across a field somewhere. KEY TAKEAWAYS - Poverty is bigger than a budgeting problem. Systems, mindset, and generational patterns all play a part. - Stability opens doors. When people know where they’ll sleep, they can focus on school, work, and family. - If you can’t give money, give time. Everyone pitches in where there’s a need. - Leave the world better than you found it, even if it’s one piece of trash on the trail. - Midlife can be lonely. Be the one who reaches out first instead of waiting to be invited. - Share the mundane. The little everyday moments are often where connection lives. - You don’t need a set life plan. Reinventing yourself at 30, 40, and beyond is part of the journey. CHAPTERS 0:00 Cold open: perimenopause and shapeshifting 0:18 Welcome + meet Lindsay Klein 1:34 What the Booth program does 1:54 1921: a maternity home in the North End 3:28 Adding high school for young moms 4:33 Cardinal Academy and the baby boutique 5:28 Life skills: parenting, budgets, and taxes 6:44 Food pantry and Fresh Friday produce markets 9:05 Toys, coats, and a kids’ shopping spree 10:03 Pathway of Hope case management 10:22 Breaking the cycle of poverty 11:21 Steph on growing up poor and scarcity mindset 12:43 How Lindsay found the Salvation Army 14:34 No career plan, just Starbucks 15:50 From intern to director to fundraising and back 17:06 “I had my baby at Booth” 20:25 A new housing program for young parents 22:58 The experiences that shaped her 24:32 Her grandmother’s boarding school story 25:42 Where her story meets her work 26:28 Girl Scouts, Lions Club, and giving time 27:55 Steph’s first volunteering at HP 28:50 Leave it better than you found it 29:52 The dog blog and p-mail 30:16 The loneliness of midlife 32:59 Steph on working and living alone 35:31 Lifelong friends and an annual reunion 39:32 The group chat and sharing the mundane 42:36 No life plan, and who is 40-year-old Lindsay? 45:18 Steph’s own midlife questions 46:35 Big hikes and weed-whacker soreness 48:18 Closing question 49:13 Volunteering with her teens 50:44 Protecting kids’ privacy 53:08 A library book and 70 hours of picking rocks 54:32 Steph’s flour-sack baby 56:15 Outro

  3. Oct 2

    Nova Calverley-Frye on Resilience, SoulCollage® & the Power of No | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend Nova Calverley-Frye, a mother, actress, improviser, teacher, and artist, for a conversation about resilience, intuition, and learning to say no. They first met at Steph's pre-pandemic Valentine's gathering celebrating women, and later reconnected when Nova led SoulCollage® workshops at Steph's studio. Nova explains SoulCollage®, an intuitive process of making your own personal oracle deck through collage and then "interviewing" each card. She shares how her Irish mother taught her plants and moon phases, how "The Mists of Avalon" shaped her feminism, and what it means to her to practice as an eclectic witch. Steph opens up about her own past running a metaphysical shop and her connection to Pele. Then the conversation goes deeper. Nova shares her childhood with her biological parents, life in foster care, asking to be adopted at 15, and the mental health journey that led to a diagnosis that finally brought clarity. She talks about why overscheduling is a trigger, why "no" is a complete sentence, and why sharing hard truths doesn't make you "too much." About Nova Calverley-Frye: Originally from Cape Cod, Nova holds a degree in theatre performance from Idaho State University and has an extensive background in acting for stage and film, dance, improvisation, teaching, and mixed media art.  She is a mother, SoulCollage® Facilitator, part-time teacher for the Idaho Shakespeare Festival, and can be found acting and improvising at various theatres across the Treasure Valley.  In her free time, Nova enjoys reading, watching horror movies with her two teenage sons, and working in her various art journals. Key Takeaways: - Give yourself credit. Things you did "because they had to be done" may be the clearest proof of your resilience. - SoulCollage® invites you to slow down, quiet your inner editor, and let your intuition speak. - Your spiritual practice is yours. Intention and "do no harm" matter more than trends. - Overscheduling can quietly erode your mental health. Slowing down is self-care, not laziness. - "No" is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation. - Sharing your story can be a mirror, giving others permission to recognize their own. If you or someone you know is struggling or in distress, help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US and Canada), or text HOME to 741741 to connect with the Crisis Text Line. International listeners should contact their local emergency services or a specialized regional crisis line. Chapters: 0:00 Cold open: being "that kid" in class 0:50 Welcome + meet Nova Calverly-Frye 1:06 How they met: a Valentine's gathering of women 2:40 What is SoulCollage®? 5:00 Slowing down and letting intuition lead 7:22 Partnering on workshops + a monthly art night dream 9:02 How cards speak differently over time 10:09 Steph's astrology deep dive 13:16 What being a witch means to Nova 13:50 An Irish mom, plants, and moon phases 14:41 Foster care and a New England church 15:25 The Mists of Avalon, feminism, and flawed authors 16:13 Solstice traditions with her kids 17:26 Throwing out her runes, and finding her way back 18:23 Steph's shop days and online forums 19:08 Hawaiian spirituality, Pele, and Maui 21:07 Resilience, self-worth, and mental health 21:45 Learning to give herself credit 23:42 Asking to be adopted at 15 24:38 Her kids' advice: "Don't be so hard on yourself" 25:57 Therapy, smiling depression, and postpartum 27:11 A diagnosis that brought clarity 27:47 Overscheduling as a trigger 29:01 Her sons on the Hope Squad 29:57 Boys who hug and show emotion 32:06 Students "playing therapist" 33:21 Breaking generational silence 34:10 Steph on therapy and couples check-ins 35:41 The guilt of slowing down 39:32 A book club talk that changed her theater life 41:50 "No" is a complete sentence 43:43 Ron's advice: you're the only one who runs your business 44:30 Hustle culture vs. the European out-of-office 46:49 Phones, boundaries, and morning routines 50:54 Sharing hard truths without diminishing yourself 52:42 Telling her story at StoryStory Night 54:56 The stories we're not ready to tell 56:23 Leaving survival mode 57:08 Who is Nova at her core? 58:08 StrengthsFinder: woo, learner, and harmony 1:01:56 Frodo, Loki, and senior dogs 1:03:32 Wrap-up

  4. Sep 25

    Keeping Boise Housed: Evan Stewart on Preventing Homelessness | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani sits down with Evan Stewart, executive director of Jesse Tree, the Treasure Valley nonprofit working to prevent homelessness before it happens. Evan explains who Jesse Tree serves: working families, single parents, and seniors living paycheck to paycheck, often just one car repair or medical bill away from falling behind on rent. He breaks down why Idaho is one of the fastest-evicting states in the country, why an eviction record follows renters for life, and how Ada County's eviction court mediation model has helped cut judgment rates dramatically. He also shares what Jesse Tree is seeing in Canyon County, the findings of its 2025 Treasure Valley eviction report, and the Keep Boise Housed community event. Evan talks about his own path, from a PhD in applied anthropology and water and sanitation work in Nepal to joining Jesse Tree in 2020 and growing with it as the team expanded from six people to about 25. Steph shares her family's own experience of being priced out of Hawaii, and the two close on why prevention is one of the smartest investments a community can make. ABOUT EVAN STEWART & JESSE TREE As Executive Director of Jesse Tree, one of the Treasure Valley’s largest nonprofits, my career is dedicated to preventing homelessness by keeping our neighbors housed. Jesse Tree provides emergency rental assistance and helps tenants facing eviction work with their landlords in court in order to prevent the trauma and expense of becoming homeless. In the past year, Jesse Tree helped 3,000 individuals and 1,500 families stay in their homes. I’ve led programs at Jesse Tree for the past five years, and prior to that, worked in the nonprofit center and in universities on some of the trickiest social problems facing our communities. I oversee Jesse Tree’s dedicated team of 20+ staff members who advocate for tenants and show up every day for the most vulnerable in our communities.  I hold a Ph.D. in Applied Anthropology from the University of Montana and a M.A. from Texas A&M. When not working, you’ll find me fly fishing or practicing Brazilian jiu jitsu. Visit the Jesse Tree website to learn more: https://www.jessetreeidaho.org/ Donate to Jesse Tree: https://www.jessetreeidaho.org/donate 🔑 KEY TAKEAWAYS - Most people facing eviction are working. About 40% of those who contact Jesse Tree name a health emergency as the trigger. - Idaho evictions move fast. A missed rent payment can lead to eviction in about 21 days, and the record is permanent. - Talk to your landlord early. Many will offer more time or a payment plan if they know what's going on. - Mediation works. Ada County's judgment rate fell from 50% to 19% after Jesse Tree began joining court mediation in 2023. - Prevention costs far less. Jesse Tree spends about $2,000 to keep someone housed, versus roughly $20,000 to rehouse them. - 95% of the people Jesse Tree serves don't access homelessness services in the five years after working with Jesse Tree. - At his core, Evan leads with curiosity, small moments of joy, kindness, gratitude, and faith. ⏱️ CHAPTERS 0:00 – Cold open: wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and yoga 1:23 – Welcome + meet Evan Stewart 1:52 – What Jesse Tree does 3:01 – One emergency away from eviction 6:49 – A single mom, a medical bill, and eviction court 9:53 – Why Idaho is one of the fastest-evicting states 10:52 – A 1970s law in a corporate landlord era 12:35 – An eviction record is permanent in Idaho 14:33 – Homelessness is a housing problem 16:37 – Touring Interfaith Sanctuary 18:54 – 2,000 calls a month: the Tenant Resource Center 20:17 – Why talking to your landlord matters 22:53 – Property managers and pressure from the top 25:03 – The Emergency Rent Assistance Program 25:59 – Inside Ada County eviction court mediation 28:53 – Judgment rates drop from 50% to 19% 29:33 – Community health workers and housing navigators 31:16 – Why the Treasure Valley's nonprofits matter 32:50 – Evan's path: a PhD in applied anthropology 34:14 – Nonprofit work in Nepal 36:03 – Social work in Missoula and ACEs 37:28 – Moving to Boise and joining Jesse Tree 39:40 – Keep Boise Housed 44:05 – Steph's family leaves Hawaii 47:29 – The 2025 Treasure Valley eviction report 48:41 – Canyon County and the missing mediation program 53:21 – Case management, budgeting, and housing plans 54:31 – A 95% success rate 56:06 – Prevention vs. the cost of homelessness 57:37 – Nonprofits as a community investment 1:01:03 – Closing question 1:02:01 – Outro

  5. Sep 18

    Full Swing PR's Caitlin Copple on Visibility, GEO & Owning Your Story | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani reunites with her longtime friend Caitlin Copple, founding partner of Full Swing PR, the nation's leading agency for under-recognized leaders in high-growth professional services firms. They open with old-friend banter before Caitlin shares how the two actually met. Caitlin unpacks what she calls PR 3.0: writing not just for journalists but for the AI models now shaping how people find and judge a business. She explains generative engine optimization (GEO), why earned media and trade publications carry outsized weight with tools like ChatGPT and Claude, and how one client shifted its AI search results within a month. They also cover Steph's rebrand from OMG Studios Boise to In Real Life Films, and why PR should come before a crisis, not after. The conversation turns personal as Caitlin talks about learning to fly as a single mom in her 40s, why she wishes she'd started her business sooner, and her decade-birthday traditions. She closes with what's underneath her titles: a kid who built tree forts and staged backyard plays, who now calls business the adult expression of that same creative drive. About Caitlin Copple: Caitlin Copple is the Founding Partner of Full Swing PR, the nation’s leading agency for underrecognized leaders of high-growth professional services firms. A former journalist turned PR strategist, Caitlin helps clients earn visibility that converts through meaningful media coverage, message clarity, and show-stopping momentum. Her work has helped sell books, passed legislation, ousted corrupt lawmakers, and positioned executives in outlets like CNN, TIME, and Fast Company. Caitlin founded Full Swing in 2019, and with Holly Conti, scaled Full Swing to seven figures in less than four years, earning recognition from Inc. Magazine as one of the fastest-growing private companies in the Mountain West. She's mom to a now-10-year-old and is a private pilot.  About Full Swing PR: Full Swing PR helps underrecognized professional services companies create visibility strategies to pack sales pipelines. Led by former journalists turned PR partners, Full Swing helps ambitious teams in law, design, and leadership consulting earn millions of dollars through smart, effective PR campaigns. In 2024 and 2025, the agency was named among Inc. Magazine's fastest-growing privately held companies in the Rocky Mountain Region. Key Takeaways: - PR is now written for two audiences at once. Caitlin calls this PR 3.0: earned media and trade publications increasingly shape what ChatGPT, Claude, and Gemini say about your business. - Generative engine optimization (GEO) is the new SEO. One client's mismatched messaging was repositioned and reflected in AI search results within about a month. - Build your PR reputation before you need it - don't wait for a crisis to start earning credibility. - Own what you can't lose. A newsletter list and a website you control matter more than social platforms that can vanish overnight. - It's never too late to start. Caitlin wishes she'd launched Full Swing before 35; she and her business partner Holly scaled it to $1 million in under four years. - Titles don't define you. Underneath the awards, Caitlin says she's still the kid who built tree forts and staged backyard plays. Chapters:  0:00 – Cold open 0:42 – Welcome + meet Caitlin Copple 1:04 – Teaser: a shed full of potatoes 3:51 – Caitlin's bio: Full Swing PR 4:35 – How they met: a gubernatorial campaign 7:06 – "Call your fans": early business advice 7:55 – Being visible as an LGBTQ business owner 9:14 – What is a visibility scorecard? 9:29 – Defining PR: more than press releases 10:21 – The flotilla: an off-grid branding retreat 13:44 – Flying a pride flag down the Middle Fork 14:31 – Scaling Full Swing to $1M in under 4 years 15:18 – Becoming an "unlikely entrepreneur" 16:18 – Why focus on women and BIPOC leaders 16:42 – Podcasts as the new magazine feature 17:35 – PR 3.0: writing for journalists and machines 19:15 – Why long press releases feed AI search 19:50 – Case study: fixing a mismatched niche fast 21:00 – Steph's rebrand: OMG Studios to IRL Films 22:28 – Don't wait for a crisis to do PR 23:14 – Why third-party validation builds trust 25:17 – Holly's Q50 award, Caitlin's Idaho Women of the Year award 27:02 – Dr. Fara and the dermatology PR playbook 28:09 – Where "Full Swing" got its name 29:05 – Learning to fly as a single mom 30:20 – Trading a retired plane for a Cessna 172 31:44 – Female pilots and quiet determination 33:01 – Big birthdays: the 30th "wedding" and beyond 34:23 – Why Caitlin doesn't put things off 35:05 – Stepping back, journaling, and slowing down 37:20 – The every-decade tradition 44:18 – 27 press clips in a month, and Idaho's bathroom bill 46:44 – GEO, explained again for the AI era 48:41 – How Steph uses AI for this podcast 49:20 – Is Caitlin afraid of AI? 50:23 – Advice for anyone on the fence about starting a business 51:12 – Freedom, healthcare, and never going back 51:46 – Full Swing's resources and owning your list 55:46 – Matching PR strategy to business goals 56:18 – Closing question 57:23 – Tree forts, then and now 58:24 – Wrap-up

  6. Sep 11

    Taking Flight After 40 with Pilot Sarah Cortez | The Essence of You Podcast

    Sarah Cortez knew she wanted to be a pilot from the age of three, watching out the window of her dad's plane. It took her almost 40 years to act on it. In this episode, Sarah, a longtime sales professional, keynote speaker, and student pilot, joins Steph Lokelani to talk about what it took to finally start flying: clearing her schedule, ignoring the excuses, and pushing through nearly 200 two-week training cycles to earn her private pilot's license. Sarah shares the story of her dad's skepticism, a helicopter-pilot father with 1,500 skydiving jumps of his own, and how being told she didn't have the focus became the moment she stopped calling flying a "pipe dream." She and Steph swap adventure stories, from flying into the Grand Canyon at dusk to heli-snowboarding in Whistler, and dig into Sarah's work as fundraising chair for Women in Aviation Gem State Chapter, including the upcoming Girls in Aviation Day, on September 19, 2026.  About Sarah Cortez: Meet Sarah Cortez, the "GOALden Girl," a National award-winning sales professional and pilot with a remarkable journey. Moving an incredible 34 times before 5th grade, she developed adaptability and resilience at a young age.   With over 25 years of sales and management experience, Sarah's expertise shines through her training company, established in 2018. As a sought-after speaker and trainer, Sarah captivates audiences across the United States at national conferences, sales kick-offs, and company retreats. Her ability to inspire and motivate stems from her relentless tenacity in accomplishing her own GOALS. Beyond her sales career, Sarah's journey of becoming a pilot after the age of 40 exemplifies the power of self-belief, action, and surrounding oneself with remarkable HUMANs. The "GOALDEN GIRL" has formulated a winning approach to help others achieve greatness in their lives. She loves nothing more than helping others accomplish their BIG GOALS. Key Takeaways: - Action beats readiness. Sarah didn't wait to feel ready, she cleared her schedule and started studying six months after deciding to pursue her pilot's license, despite three kids, a full-time job, and a side business. - A "pipe dream" becomes real the day you stop calling it one. Her dad's doubt, and his honest explanation that she "didn't have the focus," became the turning point that made her commit. - Progress is a cycle, not a straight line. Sarah calls her approach "the art of achievement": take action, reflect, adjust, and take action again. However many cycles it takes. - Representation matters early. Through Girls in Aviation Day, Sarah has watched what happens when young girls see women in flight suits, cockpits, and maintenance bays: "if they can see it, they can be it." - A childhood of constant motion built resilience. Moving 34 times before fifth grade for her father's power line construction work taught Sarah to connect with people quickly and keep those connections going. - Signs can show up anywhere, even a coffee cup. While questioning whether to keep pushing toward her pilot's license, a Starbucks cup reading "stay the course" convinced Sarah she was on the right path. - Sarah's answer to Steph's closing question: at her core, she's a fun-loving, people-loving person who feels most herself in the air, on the snow, and grounded in her faith. Chapters: 0:00 – Cold open: meeting Sarah and her aviation dream 0:39 – Knowing she wanted to fly since age three 1:03 – Encouraging others to take action on their dreams 1:46 – Turning 40 and deciding "if I'm going to do this, I better start" 2:36 – Behind the yoke for the first time on her own 3:16 – Flight school: instrument rating and commercial training underway 6:59 – What Women in Aviation Gem State Chapter does 9:01 – 100,000 female pilots and counting 12:00 – Her dad's "when horses fly" reaction to her pilot dream 14:26 – Keynote speaking and sales training 15:01 – Girls in Aviation Day: growing from 150 to 250 attendees 17:16 – "If they can see it, they can be it" 18:11 – What flying feels like: total presence, total release 19:55 – A yoga parallel: losing yourself in the moment 20:36 – Flying into the Grand Canyon at dusk 24:03 – Flying into the backcountry: Indian Creek and smoke-filled skies 26:45 – What company would you fly for? 30:00 – Her kids' very different dreams: skiing, ranching, baseball 33:37 – Her dad's helicopter career and 1,500 skydiving jumps 34:39 – Heli-snowboarding in Whistler, BC 39:52 – Favorite Idaho flight: a solo cross-country to Coeur d'Alene 41:24 – Landing a Kodiak backcountry plane at Flying B 42:51 – Would she buy back her dad's old plane? 44:19 – A childhood of 34 moves before fifth grade 50:11 – Flying a Black Hawk during the "boss lift" 53:52 – A shoutout to Women in Aviation founder Sarina 1:02:23 – Closing question 1:03:53 – Outro

  7. Sep 4

    Teaching, Theater, and Lifelong Friendships with Angela Ocheltree | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani reunites with Angela Ocheltree, the oldest friend she's had on the podcast to date, for a warm, funny catch-up that doubles as a time capsule. The two met as seventh graders at Lakota Junior High in Federal Way, Washington, in the early '90s through drama club, and they trace the throughline from those teenage years to now. They swap stories about the theater kids they used to be (Godspell, Macbeth, and one unforgettable paper-mache head), an eerie coincidence involving Angela's adopted mother's birth family and the small Idaho town her parents happened to retire to, and the different roads that led them both into second acts later in life; Angela went back to college at 32 and lived in the dorms, while Steph built a filmmaking career after finishing her degree online through Full Sail University. Angela, now a sixth grade teacher working toward becoming a school librarian, talks candidly about budget cuts gutting librarian jobs in her district, what she's seeing as phones reshape her classroom, and how drama and choir saved her as a shy, insecure teenager. Both women open up about divorce, starting over, and raising kids the second time around. About Angela Ocheltree: Angela Ocheltree is an educator and aspiring storyteller based in the Pacific Northwest. With a decade of experience as a middle school teacher and theater co-director, she recently completed her library endorsement to transition into her dream role as a school librarian. Beyond the classroom, Angela is a creative who dabbles in many things; lately it is watercolor and writing. She also loves going to the theater, spending time with her family and friends, and traveling. As a mom of three, she balances her professional life with family adventures, sharing her love for everything from the stage to exploring the PNW. Angela is passionate about education, reading, and bringing curiosity to everyday life. Key Takeaways: - Reconnecting with an old friend can feel like time never passed. Steph and Angela met at Lakota Junior High in the early '90s through drama club and can still finish each other's stories decades later. - It's never too late to change paths. Angela went back to college at 32, living in the dorms her first year, after years as a pharmacy technician, and became a certified teacher in her mid-30s. - School libraries are quietly disappearing. Angela's district cut librarian positions from every middle and high school, leaving books checked in and out by non-certified staff while she finishes her own library degree. - Being in drama and choir can be life-saving for a shy kid. Angela calls theater the place she "got to be me," crediting teachers - including the choir director who recruited her - with shaping who she became. - Both women treat divorce as a turning point, not a failure. Each describes a first marriage that ended for the right reasons and a second chapter that fits who they've grown into. - Smartphones are reshaping childhood fast. Angela shares what she sees in her sixth grade classroom, from phone pouches to shrinking attention spans, and why she's in no rush to give her kids a phone. - Titles like "mom" and "teacher" don't erase who you are underneath them. Angela's answer to the closing question: at her core, she's someone who chases joy, creativity, and new experiences. Chapters: 0:00 – Cold open 0:11 – Welcome + meet Angela Ocheltree 0:42 – Sixth grade teacher, future school librarian 0:55 – How they met: Lakota Junior High, Federal Way 2:11 – What got her into drama club 3:02 – The coincidence of her parents landing in Emmett, Idaho 3:35 – Her adopted mom's birth family is from Emmett too 4:37 – "Felony Way": Federal Way's reputation today 5:39 – Wild Waves closing after 50 seasons 11:36 – Starting college at 32, living in the dorms 12:44 – Full Sail, HP, and Steph's own degree 14:46 – Co-directing school plays today 16:59 – Godspell: her favorite show, then and now 23:21 – Wanting to become a school librarian 23:38 – Budget cuts gutting school librarian jobs 30:20 – Teaching the five major world religions in 6th grade 38:49 – Josh: the friend who got her into choir 42:20 – Marriage, infidelity, and starting over 44:16 – Remarried and raising three kids 53:45 – How middle school has changed since the 90s 55:34 – Girls on the Mat: yoga, breathwork, facilitator training 57:34 – Smartphones and shrinking attention spans 59:07 – Phone pouches at school 1:01:49 – Disconnecting on a whitewater rafting trip 1:09:24 – Felony Way revisited and the empty mall 1:12:13 – First jobs: Izzy's Pizza and "pizza surprise" 1:20:09 – Closing question 1:26:20 – Full circle: daughters in theater, back on the stage 1:27:57 – How drama saved her life 1:32:37 – Outro

  8. Aug 28

    Leaving Religion and Redefining Purpose with Sharmaine McWhite | The Essence of You Podcast

    Sharmaine McWhite joins Steph Lokelani for a raw, funny, and unexpectedly deep conversation that starts with a joke about Social Security numbers and ends up covering nearly everything in between. Sharmaine, a multi-hyphenate creative, real estate agent, and content creator, opens up about growing up in a strict independent Baptist household that took her family from North Carolina to Alaska, where courtship replaced dating, skirts replaced pants, and an evangelist once arranged an introduction to a man she'd never met. She and Steph trade stories about leaving the church they were raised in, the lingering pull to "come back to the family," and what it was like discovering dating, intimacy, and nightlife for the first time in their 30s. The conversation moves through purity culture and the near-total absence of real sex education, the religion's stance on LGBTQ+ people, and the guilty pleasure of watching Xena and Will & Grace in secret. Sharmaine also talks candidly about her adult ADHD diagnosis, the years she spent calling herself lazy and forgetful before she understood why, and how she's built a life around protecting her passions from ever becoming a job. It's a conversation about faith, boundaries, identity, and the lifelong process of figuring out who you are once the labels come off. About Sharmaine McWhite Meet Sharmaine McWhite, a creative at heart who believes life is meant to be lived with both passion and purpose. An artist first, Sharmaine has also explored the worlds of modeling and acting, always looking for new ways to tell stories and express creativity. Professionally, she wears two hats as an Office Manager and Realtor, where she enjoys building relationships, solving problems, and helping others navigate life's biggest milestones. A proud Treasure Valley resident for more than 20 years, she shares life with her partner, their four cats, and their blended family of three incredible kids. She considers herself spiritual rather than religious and values authenticity, personal growth, kindness, and meaningful connections. Whether she's creating art, helping clients, or simply sharing pieces of her journey, Sharmaine hopes to inspire others to embrace every part of who they are. Key Takeaways - Don't turn your passion into your job. Sharmaine keeps her artwork unmonetized on purpose. Once something becomes how you pay the bills, she argues, it stops being a passion. - Purpose doesn't have to be your career. Sharmaine defines her own purpose simply as living a good life and being happy, pushing back on the cultural pressure to find purpose through work. - Leaving a high-control religion doesn't mean losing your family. Both women describe staying close to parents who remain devout, and the ongoing tension of being told to "come back to the family." - Purity culture left both guests without real sex education - Song of Solomon and secretly-watched TV were their main exposure to the subject growing up. - A boundary is your responsibility, not a demand that someone else change. Sharmaine's framework: decide in advance how you'll respond if the behavior continues, and follow through. - An adult ADHD diagnosis reframed years of self-blame. Sharmaine talks about being called lazy and forgetful long before she understood the dopamine and working-memory science behind it. - Change is core to identity. Chapters 0:00 – Cold open: the Social Security number game 3:49 – Welcome to The Essence of You + how they met 5:05 – Defining passion vs. purpose 7:33 – "Don't make your passion your job" — the painting she gave away 10:02 – Content creation as the day job, filmmaking as the passion 12:03 – Leaving religion: from North Carolina to Alaska 14:09 – Strict rules: skirts only, no shoulders, no dating 16:21 – "It was a cult": courtship, control, and the Duggars comparison 17:31 – Homeschooling, undiagnosed ADHD, and being the only sibling to graduate 19:55 – An evangelist arranges an introduction to a stranger 22:18 – Confronting race within the religion 24:20 – The Valentine's gifts that crossed a boundary 26:50 – Making her dad end the relationship for her 27:54 – Moving out and starting over at 26 29:29 – The theological question that cracked her faith 33:12 – Steph's own exit from evangelical Christianity 34:03 – "Come back to the family" - the ongoing pull 36:04 – Losing her virginity at 31 and discovering her 30s 38:56 – "This is none of your business" - confronting her parents 41:27 – What the religion (and her family) believes about LGBTQ+ people 44:57 – Purity culture, no sex ed, and Song of Solomon in secret 48:03 – Xena, Will & Grace, and secretly loving queer media 51:00 – Leaving sales, open relationships, and craving variety 53:01 – Getting an ADHD diagnosis as an adult 58:26 – Called "lazy" her whole life 1:03:42 – Closing question 1:08:23 – Outro

About

Who are you when you take away the job title, the roles, the labels, and just be? Through intimate, unscripted conversations with host, Steph Lokelani, The Essence of You Podcast dives deep into the core of the human experience with people from all walks of life. New episodes release every Friday, with guests whose stories are as unique as the outfits they choose to wear, because yes, this is both a video AND audio podcast. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Tell me a little bit about you and let's get you in an episode! https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou