The Essence of You Podcast

Steph Lokelani

Who are you when you take away the job title, the roles, the labels, and just be? Through intimate, unscripted conversations with host, Steph Lokelani, The Essence of You Podcast dives deep into the core of the human experience with people from all walks of life. New episodes release every Friday, with guests whose stories are as unique as the outfits they choose to wear, because yes, this is both a video AND audio podcast. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Tell me a little bit about you and let's get you in an episode! https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou

Episodes

  1. 2d ago

    Stop Living on Auto-Pilot | The Essence of You Podcast

    What if the behaviors holding you back aren't flaws to fix, but patterns to understand? In this episode of The Essence of You Podcast, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Karolee Lovan, behavior life coach and behavioral interventionist, and founder of Social Graces. Karolee brings a rare blend of behavioral psychology, real-world intervention experience, and deeply personal transformation to a conversation that will make you rethink everything you thought you knew about habits, change, and who you are at your core. Karolee shares her winding path from working with special education students to stepping into the classroom, walking away from a broken system, navigating the corporate world, and ultimately relaunching Social Graces with a crystal-clear mission: help people stop running on autopilot and start living from the driver's seat. About Karolee Lovan:  Most professional coaching focuses on surface-level symptoms: "Work harder," "Wake up earlier," "Stay disciplined." But if you are running on outdated patterns, you are simply accelerating in the wrong direction. Karolee Lovan works at the intersection of behavioral psychology and practical coaching. She doesn't lecture; she listens until her clients truly hear themselves. The Problem: The Invisible Loop Throughout her career, Karolee spent years watching individuals work incredibly hard without moving forward. It wasn't a lack of motivation, a talent deficit, or a lack of discipline. They were simply stuck inside behavioral loops they had never been taught to see—running on default settings that had quietly stopped serving their current goals. The Approach: The Pivot Point Method As a Behavior Life Coach with a specialized background in intervention, Karolee moves past the traditional "noise" of self-help to focus entirely on the mechanics of human behavior. Using her proprietary Pivot Point Method, she helps clients move through the why and then into the how of sustainable change: Locate the Pivot Point: Pinpointing the exact moment a behavioral loop triggers, exposing the hidden patterns causing plateaus. Execute the Interruption: Applying targeted interventions at that exact pivot point to break the exhausting cycle of working hard just to stay in place. Sustain the Shift: Grounding new behaviors in daily workflow using behavioral science, ensuring the new path becomes the permanent default. The Result: Movement with Clarity Karolee’s work isn't about adding more to a client's plate or demanding exhausting amounts of willpower. It is about removing the friction of the patterns that no longer serve who they are becoming. She doesn't offer generic advice; she offers a mirror and a toolkit. "I don't lecture. I listen until you hear yourself." 🎁 Mention that you heard Karolee on The Essence of You and receive 50% off her services at Social Graces — offer valid ONLY through June 2026. Visit: https://socialgracesbc.com/ Whether you're stuck in an old thought loop, struggling to change a habit, or simply trying to show up better for the people you love, this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: - Behavior is not good or bad - it's an action. We assign meaning to our behaviors based on upbringing, culture, and experience. Recognizing this frees you to rewrite the story. - Coming off autopilot is the first step. If you don't examine what you're doing day in and day out, you'll stay stuck in patterns that no longer serve you. - Start smaller than you think. Real, lasting change happens through micro-steps. Karolee's example: don't join a gym yet, just put your workout shoes by the door. - Gratitude can rewire your brain. After two years of deep inner work, Karolee discovered that daily gratitude practice was her personal "linchpin" - the behavior that unlocked everything else. - Coaching vs. therapy: know the difference. A coach is an accountability partner focused on moving forward. A therapist helps heal the past. Both have a place and Karolee knows exactly where her scope begins and ends. Chapters: 00:00 - Cold Open: McLovin Ice Breaker 00:38 - Introducing Karolee Lovan 01:53 - What Drew Karolee to Behavior Work 03:22 - From Paraprofessional to Special Ed Teacher 04:07 - Why She Left the Classroom 05:00 - Behavior Kept Calling Her Back 05:58 - Launching Social Graces the First Time 06:57 - Defining Behavior: What It Actually Is 07:57 - Coming Off Autopilot 09:41 - Balancing Behavioral Expertise at Home 11:14  -Being Your Own Client 12:06  -Two Years of Deep Inner Work 13:03  -Gratitude as the Linchpin 14:13 - Rewiring Through Small Wins 15:56 - What Is Social Graces? 18:42 - Six Weeks, One Behavior 19:39 - What Clients Most Want to Change 21:32 - Comfortable Being Uncomfortable 22:09 - Coach vs. Therapist: The Key Difference 24:04 - How Launching Changed Karolee's Life 25:02 - Corporate Communication Breakdowns 26:45 - What's in It for Me? The Simon Sinek Thread 28:13  -When People Check Out (The HP Example) 29:08 - Steph's Scarcity Mindset — Live Unpack 31:25 - The "Unpacking" Framework 33:00 - The GPS Analogy: Rerouting to Your Destination 35:47 - Building the Action Plan with Your Client 37:05 - The Workout Shoes Method 39:05 - Identity Shapes Behavior 40:29 - The Fire Extinguisher Story 42:03 - Special Offer for Essence of You Listeners 43:18 - Passion, Royalty & the Color Purple 45:46 - What Would Your Brother Say? 47:42 - Analyzing Poetry at 11 PM 50:10 - Behaviors Are Neither Good Nor Bad 52:43 - The Experience That Shaped Her Most 54:30 - Marriage as a Practice 57:10 - Where Personal Story Meets Purpose 59:57 - Getting Volunteered Into Corporate 01:01:38 - Gratitude for the Ugly Chapters 01:03:38 - Essence of You — What Does It Mean? 01:05:23 - Why Steph Started the Podcast 01:07:57 - How Many True Friends Do You Have? 01:09:47 - Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 01:10:56 -Closing, Discount Reminder & Farewell

    1h 11m

  2. May 29

    Differences Are Advantages: Shannon White-Deane on Strengths, Disability, & Leading | The Essence of You Podcast

    What does it mean to truly see someone? In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Shannon White-Deane, a Certified Gallup Strengths Coach, leadership and disability consultant, and "certified single mom" based in Boise, Idaho. Shannon brings warmth, honesty, and hard-won wisdom to a wide-ranging conversation that touches on identity, community, change, and what it really means to lead from your strengths. Shannon shares the story behind her crutches and the quiet but powerful decision to embrace them. That shift became a metaphor for the way she lives and leads: stop hiding the parts of yourself that make you who you are, because those differences aren't liabilities, they're advantages. She talks about her national Paul Gleason Award for Innovation and Initiative in wildland fire leadership, her journey to becoming a Gallup Strengths Coach, and the single moment with a former boss that confirmed she had found her calling. She speaks candidly about navigating change and why she believes being curious rather than judgmental can transform how we relate to one another. Whether you're exploring your own strengths, learning to lead more inclusively, or simply trying to make room for the people around you, this episode is full of moments that will stay with you. About Shannon: Shannon believes the little things in life aren’t little at all - they’re the moments that spark transformation. As a Gallup-Certified CliftonStrengths consultant, coach, and facilitator, she helps individuals and teams discover and use their unique talents to thrive. For Shannon, having a coach is like having a trainer, because accountability matters. She encourages clients to leverage their talent on and off the field, and reminds them that taking care of yourself is the foundation for doing anything for others. Drawing on her experience as a professional, a mom, and a coach, Shannon creates space for meaningful conversations that highlight what’s working—not just what isn’t. She brings empathy, insight, and clarity to every interaction, helping people see themselves differently and move forward with purpose. Whether working with executives, managers, or individuals, Shannon is known for turning everyday conversations into breakthroughs. Her strengths-based approach builds resilience, fosters collaboration, and unlocks the best in people - both at work and in life. Key Takeaways: 1. Your differences are your advantages. - Shannon's core belief, shaped by a lifetime of navigating the world with cerebral palsy, is that the things that make you different from everyone else are not weaknesses to manage around. They are strengths to lean into. She learned to stop hiding her crutches in photos and started seeing them as part of who she is. 2. Your strengths give you energy; your weaknesses drain it. - One of the most practical insights in this episode: when you operate from your top Gallup Strengths, you feel energized. When you operate from your lower ones, you feel depleted. This reframe changes how you think about self-improvement - stop trying to get better at what exhausts you, and double down on what fuels you. 3. You don't have to be the manager to lead. - Shannon brought Clifton Strengths to her entire BLM district. Not because she was in charge, but because she believed in it, asked, and led up. Her lesson: the answer to "can I do this?" is almost always just "ask." All they can say is no. 4. Little things are the big things. - From holding a door for someone on crutches to a mom on the greenbelt telling her young son "that is a strong woman," Shannon notices the moments most people miss. Her work as a disability consultant is built on this: help people see what they take for granted, so they can serve everyone better. 5. Change is a constant. - Shannon prepares to launch her oldest son into the Air Force, her deep understanding of how to work with change, helps prepare her for this major family milestone. 6. Be curious, not judgmental. - Shannon's closing philosophy: before you assume you understand why someone is doing something, get curious. The colleague who kept derailing meetings wasn't being difficult, he had "Command" as his #3 strength, and once Shannon named it, everything shifted. Understanding changes everything. Chapters: 00:00 — Welcome & Introduction 01:45 — How Steph and Shannon Met 02:30 — Shannon's New Year Goal: Making Real Time for Friends 03:55 — The Spud Run & Racing with a Disability 08:05 — The Paul Gleason Award: Bringing Strengths to Wildland Fire 09:35 — What Got Shannon Into Gallup Strengths Coaching 11:20 — Steph and Shannon Compare Their Top 5 Strengths 14:45 — The Shadow Side of Strengths (and Why Harmony Is Steph's #34) 16:15 — Clifton Strengths vs. DISC: How They're Different 18:30 — Shannon's Son Is Joining the Air Force: Being a Bird Launcher 20:05 — The Crutches Story: Hiding, Then Choosing to Be Seen 23:55 — What "The Little Things Are the Big Things" Really Means 25:10 — The Door Story: What Disability Consulting Actually Looks Like 28:55 — Back to the Race: Doing It Your Own Way 32:10 — The Power of Community and Why It Makes You Live Longer 35:50 — Starting a Business Solo & Finding Treasure Valley Givers 38:50 — The Leadership Moment That Changed Everything (Shannon's Boss Story) 44:00 — Horseback Riding in Minnesota: The Joy That Shaped Her 46:20 — How Shannon Navigates Change 48:40 — What Brought Shannon to This Moment 54:00 — How to Convince Someone to Take the Strengths Assessment 57:10 — The Team Meeting Story: Command Strength & the Colleague Who Clicked 01:01:40 — You Don't Have to Be the Manager to Lead 01:03:30 — What Experience Most Shaped Shannon 01:06:30 — Shannon's Next Goal: Walter's Wiggles at Zion National Park 01:09:45 — What Shannon Wants the World to Know About People with Disabilities 01:11:10 — The Essence of You: Who Is Shannon at Her Core? 01:14:00 — Steph Answers Shannon's Question: Building Her Business Solo 01:18:30 — Closing & Next Steps

    1h 19m

  3. May 22

    Succession & Legacy in Leadership: Everyone Has a Story to Tell | The Essence of You Podcast

    In this special live episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani hands the mic to executive coach and mental performance strategist Mike Krause for a full podcast takeover recorded in front of over 50 leaders at the Hemingway Building on Boise State University campus as part of the Leadership Boise program through the Boise Metro Chamber. Mike leads a rich, wide-ranging conversation on leadership, legacy, and succession with three guests who have each led organizations through growth, change, and transition: Kevin Bailey of the Idaho Community Foundation, Angela Taylor of the Taylor LEAD Foundation and former President and General Manager of the Atlanta Dream WNBA team, and host Steph Lokelani of In Real Life Films and #OMGFemaleFilmmakers. Together they explore what it means to lead authentically and what gets in the way. From Angela's experience watching sports coaches lose themselves trying to replicate a predecessor, to Kevin's practice of writing his values on his bathroom mirror each morning, to Steph leaving a corporate career at HP to build IRL Films on her own terms, the conversation is candid, grounded, and full of hard-won wisdom. They dig into how to build championship cultures (and what the San Antonio Spurs can teach your nonprofit), why having team members with different values makes you stronger, when to trust your gut even if it means being wrong, and what it truly takes to delegate when you're a founder who's done everything yourself. Angela shares the story of the Taylor LEAD Foundation, a family-founded 501(c)3 focused on getting Idaho girls into sports and scholar athletes into college, including this: 94% of C-suite female leaders in Fortune 500 companies played sports. Kevin pulls back the curtain on how the Idaho Community Foundation manages over $300 million in charitable assets, and what the real funding gap looks like for nonprofits in Idaho. And Steph's closing answer to Mike's final question about what she hopes the people she's filmed, mentored, and worked with will carry forward in ten years lands exactly where this podcast was always headed. About the Guests: Mike Krause is an executive coach and mental performance strategist with Global Bound, LLC, where he partners with executives and emerging leaders to enhance performance, support sustainable growth, and strengthen holistic wellbeing both inside and outside the workplace. He brings over 25 years of executive leadership experience in the nonprofit sector, including 4½ years with the United States Department of State in Southern and Central Africa, where his work focused on public health initiatives and cross-cultural leadership. Mike serves as an executive coach for the Idaho Leads program and is the developer and lead facilitator of the Ascending Leaders initiative through the Idaho Community Foundation. He is currently pursuing a master’s degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, while co-hosting a weekly podcast and traveling throughout the country speaking on leadership, workplace culture, and mental fitness practices. Kevin Bailey is the Vice President of Community Impact at the Idaho Community Foundation. He oversees the Idaho Nonprofit Center nonprofit support programming as well as ICF’s grantmaking functions. Kevin was previously the CEO of the Idaho Nonprofit Center and was part of merging the Idaho Nonprofit Center into ICF in late 2024. Kevin and his wife, Becca, have 3 young boys, ages 10, 8, and 5. In his spare time he loves to hike, bike, and ski in Idaho’s beautiful mountain areas. Angela Taylor is a trailblazing sports executive, entrepreneur, and leadership strategist committed to helping people and organizations reach their full potential. A former Stanford women’s basketball player and two-time NCAA National Champion, Angela went on to hold leadership roles across the WNBA, including positions with the league office, Washington Mystics, Atlanta Dream, and Minnesota Lynx. Today, she brings that same championship mindset to her work as Co-Founder and Partner of The Dignitas Agency, where she advises clients on leadership development, organizational culture, inclusion, and sustainable change. Through The Taylor LEAD Foundation, Angela continues to invest in the next generation by creating pathways for young people, women, and underserved communities to thrive. Steph Lokelani is a proud graduate of the 2023 LB cohort and has called Boise home for over 21 years. She founded #OMGFemaleFilmmakers 8 years ago and In Real Life Films in 2025 with a clear mission: to serve Idaho nonprofits and local businesses, such as HP and Boise Cascade, through purposeful video storytelling. What started as a local vision has grown into a recognized production company serving 25+ Treasure Valley nonprofits, attracting national partners, and creating local jobs. Steph leads with heart, annually offering pro bono video and podcast production and currently serves as board president of Treasure Valley Children's Theater. When she's not behind the camera, she's strength training, running half marathons for fun, and giving her dog and cats a safe and happy place to live. Key Takeaways: 1. Authenticity is alignment, not a personality type. Being authentic as a leader isn't about having a certain style, it's about knowing your values, living them out, and showing up consistently enough that your team knows what to expect. When leaders try to replicate someone else, they erode trust without even knowing it. 2. Values are a toolkit, not a fixed list. Kevin keeps his core values written on his bathroom mirror and chooses one to lead with each day. As life changes, values shift. The goal isn't one immovable set it's knowing your values well enough to amplify the right ones in the right situations. 3. Difference is a feature, not a bug. Whether on a film set, a WNBA team, or a nonprofit, you don't want everyone to think like you. Different values, creative instincts, and strengths are where innovation lives. The key is alignment around organizational mission, not personal match. 4. The role of opposites in succession. Angela observed that when replacing an unsuccessful leader, organizations naturally look for someone different, but when replacing a successful one, they often clone, leaving no room for new vision. Real succession planning makes space for different leadership to carry the mission forward in new ways. 5. Leadership is stewardship, not ownership. All three guests circled back here: the role of a leader is to be a caretaker for the mission, the culture, and the people, not to make it about themselves. That humility is the foundation of lasting legacy. 6. You cannot grow your business if you're doing all the work inside it. Steph is living this right now - delegating for the first time, hiring an editor, sending her team to cover events while she focuses on business development. Angela and Kevin both name the discomfort: when you're a natural doer, stepping back feels like not doing enough. But leadership requires a different kind of output. 7. Trust your intuition and act on it sooner. Angela learned this the hard way: she knew within weeks which team members weren't right for her organization but waited a year to act. The delay cost the culture. Leaders who pause too long on people decisions often pay for it with everyone else's morale. 8. Communicating the why is not optional. Vision only moves teams when it's shared. If people don't understand the North Star, they fill the gap with resistance. And leading from a vision - not just a plan - is what allows you to navigate when the plan breaks down. The power outage the night before this recording was a live test of exactly that. 9. 94% of C-suite women in Fortune 500 companies played sports. Angela built the Taylor LEAD Foundation on this data. A 39-point gap separates girls below the poverty line from those with access to sports. Getting girls in the game isn't just an equity issue, it's a leadership pipeline issue. 10. Standing up for yourself is a leadership skill. Steph admits it comes naturally to stand up for her team - oldest of four kids, lifelong big sister energy - but advocating for herself as a business owner has been the hardest thing. Learning to speak up for her own needs and boundaries has been its own kind of growth. Chapters: 00:00 — Welcome and Episode Intro 00:45 — Mike Introduces the Guests and Setting 03:27 — Kicking Off: How Do You Frame Leadership? 04:22 — Kevin: Lead From Who You Are, Not Who You Admire 05:57 — Angela: Everyone Can Be a Leader — Find Your Own Voice 08:10 — Steph: Authenticity Means Giving Your Team Room to Lead 09:02 — Mike Opens the Floor: What Is Authenticity, Really? 10:28 — Angela: When Leaders Lose Themselves (The Sports Coaching Analogy) 13:03 — Kevin: Writing His Values on His Bathroom Mirror 15:10 — Mike: Values Under Pressure, Trust, and Emotional Contagion 17:20 — Mike Asks Steph: What Made You Go Out on Your Own? 17:51 — Steph: Leaving HP and Choosing Alignment Over Stability 19:27 — From OMG Female Filmmakers to IRL Films: A Rebrand with Purpose 20:43 — Angela: Building Championship Culture — The Spurs Model 24:57 — Kevin: The CAR Model — Competency, Autonomy, and Relatedness in Hiring 27:07 — Legacy: What Are You Hoping to Leave Behind? 27:38 — Kevin: The Coaching Tree — Joy in Watching Others Find Their Footing 28:44 — Angela: From Achievement to Impact — The Moment She Found Her Why 30:42 — Steph: Leaving a Piece of Yourself in Every Story You Tell 31:42 — Mike: Leadership Is Stewardship 32:00 — Idaho Community Foundation: What They Do and How It Works 38:00 — Taylor Lead Foundation: Scholar Athletes, Girls in Sports & the 94% Stat 44:42 — Audience Q: Are Different Values on Your Team Good or Bad? 47:33 — Angela: The Role of Opposites in Succession Planning 52:35 — Steph: I Don't Want My Team to Have the Same Values as M

    1h 34m

  4. May 15

    The Creative Human: Art, Soul Purpose, and AI Manipulation | The Essence of You Podcast

    Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend and self-described "creative human," Tiffany Eller, for a warm, wide-ranging, and deep conversation that covers theater debuts, dream interpretation, personal mission statements, soul contracts, and a compelling theory about AI-generated misinformation that is quietly dividing Americans on Facebook. Together, Steph and Tiffany talk about what it means to follow your inspiration, how the body tells you when you're in or out of alignment, and why creating safe spaces for people to express themselves might be the most meaningful work any of us will ever do. About Tiffany Eller:  Tiffany Eller is a multi-disciplinary artist and ADHD-riddled creator dabbling in everything life has to offer. From making silly reels for local businesses to taking on her first-time acting gig, she’s determined to express herself in as many ways as possible. Her mission is to create safe spaces for others to express themselves just as fully. Tiffany is a Boise native and mother to a daughter that matches her in her silliness and often outwits her humor.  In this episode, we chat about:  🎭 Tiffany's First Acting Role Tiffany is making her stage debut in Funnie: The Most Lamentable Comedie of Jane the Foole, a play by The Luminary Theater Co. set in King Henry VIII's court. It starts as a comedy and becomes a powerful commentary on sexual assault and the silencing of women. Think the MeToo movement, but in the 1500s. Tiffany plays Bessie, a Cockney handmaiden with a brand-new accent she's never attempted before. Steph's advice? Nerves mean you're going to be incredible. 🎭 Boise Bard Players Tiffany shares about her role as managing director and the company's mission to make Shakespeare and classical theater affordable and accessible to the Treasure Valley, including their current truncated, one-hour production of Much Ado About Nothing with a 9pm "spicy adult night" that plays up all the Shakespeare sex jokes that went over your head in high school. ✏️ Being a Creative Human From window murals and crocheting to video editing and co-writing a full-length play with her partner Dakota Brown, Tiffany talks about how her creativity spills into every medium. The untitled play is set on the night of Orson Welles' War of the Worlds broadcast in 1938, exploring media hysteria, political fear, and the family fractures that happen when ideology gets louder than love. Tiffany and Dakota need a title for this play! Drop your idea in the comments. 🧭 Body Alignment as a Compass Tiffany has learned to read her body like a compass. When she's in alignment: energized, low pain, at ease. When she's not: tight chest, back pain, recurring ailments that disappear the moment she changes a circumstance. This conversation is a great reminder to pay attention to what your body is quietly telling you. 💭 Dream Interpretation One of the most magical parts of the episode where Tiffany and Steph interpret their dreams for each other. Who knew they both used to do dream interpretation!? The two also get into dream journaling, lucid dreaming, and astral projection. ✨ "I Am a Soul Healer" Years ago, Tiffany worked with a criminal profiler-turned-consultant who helped her uncover her personal mission statement: I am a soul healer who creates safe spaces for people to express themselves. Tiffany traces this thread through everything she's ever done, from being a college RA to running the Idaho Pun Slam to the way strangers regularly tell her things they've never told anyone. The insight: a mission statement isn't what you do. It's how you be. 🔗 Soul Contracts & Energy Vampires Do you believe some people come into your life because you made an agreement with them before you were even born? Steph and Tiffany explore the idea of soul contracts, the lesson-shaped people who keep showing up in different forms, and what it means when someone repeatedly takes more energy than they give. 🚪 Learning Not to Fear People Tiffany opens up about a lifelong social anxiety - specifically, her old inability to make eye contact. She realized it was never fear of other people. It was fear of herself. She didn't trust that she could hold a boundary if someone misread her warmth as an invitation. That shift in understanding changed everything. 💛 Holding Space vs. Trying to Fix One of the hardest things to learn in any close relationship: letting someone be upset without immediately jumping in to solve it. Tiffany shares how this lesson keeps coming up in her relationships and how she's slowly learning that peace comes from letting people feel what they need to feel, not from handing them a solution. 🤖 AI Misinformation & Fake Facebook Groups Tiffany puts on her tinfoil hat and makes a genuinely eye-opening case: large Facebook groups with Idaho-centric identities appear to be run entirely by fake AI-generated profiles and may be coordinated by foreign agents designed to sow political division. She breaks down how the groups build trust with harmless or funny content, then sneak in divisive political posts to spark arguments in the comment sections. She's spotted the same pattern in states across the country and she has a practical call to action in response to these groups. 🌟 Closing Question: Who Are You at Your Core? Their answers may or may not surprise you. Chapters: 0:00 – Cold Open: Welcome & Cat Chaos (with Osiris the Cat) 0:35 – Introducing Tiffany Eller: The Creative Human 1:48 – How Steph & Tiffany Met 2:43 – Tiffany's Theater Debut: Funnie, The Most Lamentable Comedie of Jane the Foole 6:11 – What Made You Audition for the First Time? 8:25 – Boise Bard Players & Accessible Shakespeare 10:00 – The Many Forms of Tiffany's Creativity (ADHD & Art) 10:41 – Writing a New Play: War of the Worlds, 1938 & Political Division 17:18 – What Brought You to This Moment in Your Life? 19:38 – Reading Your Body: Physical Signs of Alignment vs. Misalignment 22:53 – Dream Interpretation: How to Start Decoding Your Dreams 24:10 – Steph's Dream: Frodo, the Raft & the River Styx 29:59 – Tiffany's Dream: Directing A Cappella & Trusting Your Gut 31:17 – What Three Groups in a Dream Could Mean 34:51 – Lucid Dreaming, Astral Projection & Dream Journaling 38:15 – Where Your Personal Story Meets Your Work in the World 39:57 – "I Am a Soul Healer": Tiffany's Personal Mission Statement 44:00 – Do You Believe in Soul Contracts? 47:07 – Energy Vampires, Cookie-Cutter People & Learning Relationship Lessons 51:00 – A Stranger at the Door: We're All in This Together 53:29 – Overcoming Fear of People Through Boundary Work 55:57 – Holding Space vs. Jumping to Solutions 1:00:59 – The Experience That Changed How Tiffany Shows Up for Others 1:03:59 – Tiffany's Tinfoil Hat Theory: AI Bots, Fake Facebook Groups & Political Manipulation 1:14:00 – Closing Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 1:19:00 – Outro & Guest Invitation

    1h 20m

  5. May 8

    Serving Community from the Inside Out with Adrienne Esposito | The Essence of You Podcast

    In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with her friend Adrienne Esposito, Vice President and Branch Manager at WaFd Bank, 2025 Boise Chamber Connector of the Year, and one of the Treasure Valley's most passionate community advocates. What starts as a warm conversation about shared history quickly becomes a deeply personal exploration of purpose, dignity, faith, and what it truly means to serve your community from the inside out. Adrienne opens up about her journey from the restaurant industry to banking, her decade-long commitment to Idaho's ALICE population (Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed), and why she believes local businesses hold the real key to lifting their communities. She shares a story most people don't know - that she was married at 16 and had four children by the age of 21 - and how living through welfare offices, food insecurity, and the quiet degradation of poverty became the fuel behind her tireless advocacy. Her message isn't about handouts. It's about giving people back their dignity. Steph brings her own vulnerability too, sharing what it was like growing up in Hawai'i with a family that was turned away from food stamps despite being stretched thin and the extraordinary discovery that she is a direct descendant of King Kamehameha, only to watch her cousins be priced off the very islands her family has called home for generations. Together, they tackle some of today's most pressing conversations: the Idaho housing and wage crisis, the impact of social media on youth identity and mental health, the power of asking "why" without judgment, what it means to ride the fence in a politically divided world, and how faith can be the most grounding force in a noisy life. This episode is warm, honest, and full of the kind of insight that only comes from people who have lived what they preach. In this episode: - How Adrienne went from waitressing to VP of a community bank - What the ALICE population is and why it likely affects someone you know - Adrienne's personal story of living on public assistance as a young mother - Steph's Hawai'i roots and the real cost of tourism on locals - A royal connection: Steph's direct lineage to King Kamehameha - Idaho's housing and minimum wage crisis in 2026 - Social media, body image, and what we owe the next generation - Why asking "why" is one of the most generous things you can do - What it means to be a "fence rider" in today's political climate - Adrienne's faith-grounded answer to: Who are you at your core? - What gets Steph out of bed every morning (hint: it's adventure) - What gets Adrienne out of bed every morning (hint: JC) About Adrienne:  WaFd Bank Vice President and Branch Manager Adrienne Esposito is a respected Idaho business leader with more than 30 years of executive leadership experience and a strong reputation for relationship-driven banking, community impact, and leadership development. She is known for helping businesses grow while creating meaningful connections throughout Idaho’s Treasure Valley through mentorship, financial education, and strategic community partnerships. Adrienne actively serves and supports organizations including the United Way of Treasure Valley, Habitat for Humanity, and Girl Scouts of Silver Sage. She is a recipient of the 2023 TWIN Award, the 2025 Boise Metro Chamber Connector of the Year award, and a two-time nominee/finalist for the Idaho Business Review Women of the Year recognition. If this episode resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs to hear it. Chapters: 00:00 - Cold Open: Ducks, Outdoor Cats & Farm Life 00:54 - Welcome & Introductions 02:43 - Meet Adrienne: VP and Branch Manager at WaFd Bank & Community Ambassador 03:35 - Boise Chamber Connector of the Year 2025 06:04 - Leadership Boise vs. Leadership Meridian 08:07 - 30 Years in the Treasure Valley 08:44 - The ALICE Population: Why Nonprofits Matter 16:35 - Paying It Forward - Local Hiring & Living Wages 22:04 - Adrienne's Career Journey: From Restaurants to Banking 26:45 - The Entrepreneur Mindset: From Kitty Cat to Tiger 29:58 - Adrienne's Personal "Why": Married at 16, Four Kids by 21 34:34 - Steph's Hawai'i Roots & Family Food Insecurity 36:43 - Tourism's Hidden Cost on Local Hawaiian Communities 40:11 - Descendants of King Kamehameha 42:38 - Idaho's Housing & Wage Crisis 47:35 - Social Media, Body Image & the Next Generation 59:39 - The Power of Asking "Why" 1:00:50 - Open Dialogue: Politics, Shared Values & Seeking to Understand 1:05:48 - Is Your Glass Half Full or Empty? 1:10:39 - Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 1:15:32 - JC: Jesus & Coffee - What Gets You Out of Bed 1:17:22 - Steph's Why: Adventure & Following People's Journeys 1:21:22 - Closing & Thank You

    1h 23m

  6. May 1

    The Stage That Raised Us: Allison & Noah Moody on Children's Theater, Community & Identity | The Essence of You Podcast

    What if the thing that saved you as a kid is now the thing you're building for the next generation? In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with two of her closest friends - Allison Terenzio-Moody, Executive Director of Treasure Valley Children's Theater (TVCT), and her husband Noah Moody, playwright, director, and educator - for a warm, funny, and unexpectedly moving conversation about the transformative power of the arts. From running through caves dodging zombies in a 48-hour horror film to running one of the Treasure Valley's most beloved nonprofit theaters, Allison and Noah share the journey that brought them to where they are today. The three dig into why children's theater deserves the same respect as any other art form, the life skills it quietly builds in young people, and the very real ways TVCT has been a lifeline for kids who had nowhere else to turn. Noah opens up about growing up feeling like he didn't belong until the stage gave him a world where he did. Allison reflects on becoming the advocate, grizzly bear mama, and community builder she never knew she'd need to be. And Steph brings her own stories: a production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown that made her realize performance was her dream, and a childhood friendship forged under stage lights that survived a decade and a random run-in in Cambodia. They also get into the real talk around sustaining a nonprofit: what it means to never turn away a child because of finances, the emotional weight of parents who apologize for needing help, and why Idaho Gives (May 4–7) is such a critical moment for organizations like TVCT. This one is joyful, honest, and full of heart. Whether you're a theater kid at heart, a parent wondering if the arts are "worth it," or someone still searching for your people, this episode is for you. 🎭 About Treasure Valley Children's Theater: TVCT is a nonprofit theater company dedicated to making the arts accessible to every child in the Treasure Valley, regardless of financial circumstance. They offer classes, productions, camps, and school tour shows. And they never turn a student away. 💛 Support their work: https://www.treasurevalleychildrenstheater.com/ and donate during Idaho Gives (May 4-7) at: https://www.idahogives.org/organizations/treasure-valley-childrens-theater 📲 Follow us on social media and subscribe so you never miss an episode! About our Guests: Allison Terenzio-Moody (she/her) earned her B.A. in English and Creative Writing from Seattle University and her Master’s in Education from New York University. Before being named the Executive Director of Treasure Valley Children’s Theater (TVCT) in 2023, she spent over eight years teaching, developing curriculum, and serving as the TVCT Education Director. Noah Moody is an actor, educator, and writer at Treasure Valley Children's Theater. Born and raised in Boise, ID and about to celebrate 10 years with the company, he has also been a theater artist in the Treasure Valley for the last 20 years. Having performed with the likes of Idaho Shakespeare Festival, Boise Contemporary Theatre, Alley Repertory Theater, Noah is very proud to call TVCT his home for the past decade along with his amazing and remarkably patient wife, TVCT Executive Director Allison Terenzio Moody. Chapters: 0:00 – Cold Open & Welcome 0:35 – Introducing Allison Terenzio-Moody & Noah Moody 3:37 – Allison's TVCT Story: From Actor to Executive Director 4:59 – Noah's 10 Years at TVCT 7:54 – Why Children's Theater Deserves Respect 15:11 – Origin Stories: How They Each Fell in Love with Theater 27:50 – What the Stage Really Teaches Kids 35:00 – Finding Your People: Community, Belonging & Beating Loneliness 40:43 – TVCT as a Nonprofit: Scholarships & Never Turning Kids Away 49:53 – Idaho Gives: How You Can Support TVCT This Week 53:57 – Who Are You at Your Core? 1:05:27 – Closing Thoughts & Gratitude

    1h 7m

  7. Apr 24

    Espresso in a Sea of Milk: Growing Up German, Finding Your People & Showing Up for Others | The Essence of You Podcast

    What does it mean to look like you fit in everywhere but feel like you belong nowhere? Angela Reish knows that feeling well. In our third episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with her longtime friend Angela, a woman she first met through the belly dancing community years ago, who describes herself as "espresso in a sea of milk." On the surface, Angela looks like she checks all the "typical American girl" boxes. But scratch a little deeper and you'll find a woman forged by post-WWII German immigrants, four years in the US Air Force, a marriage of two radically different worlds, and a calling to show up for kids that nobody else sees. Angela grew up in a house where the inside was Germany and the outside was America, and her parents never quite understood the threshold between the two. Her father, who lost his own dad to the war, spent part of his childhood in a work camp in postwar Germany. Her mother was bombed out multiple times before the family immigrated first to Canada, then to California. That Old World upbringing - strict, formal, blunt, and deeply regimented - shaped Angela in ways she's still unpacking.  Steph and Angela talk about the invisible weight of being raised between two cultures, how those roots show up in your parenting, your marriage, and even the way you end a phone call (Germans just... hang up). Angela shares her years in the Air Force, which fit her German wiring perfectly, and the rude awakening of re-entering civilian life where military experience was largely dismissed. She reflects on a marriage between two people who came from completely different worlds, and the hard, funny, real work of raising a son. Then there's the work she does now. Angela is a nearly-full-time substitute teacher, and she has thoughts. She paints a vivid and honest picture of what teachers actually deal with, classrooms full of kids who are each a product of entirely different home lives, traumas, privileges, and cultures. She talks about finding her people in the theater and choir kids, creating a safe space for an LGBTQ+ student who told her she'd never met someone her age so open, and the quietly profound experience of working with the RISE program for nonverbal, special-needs students. And yes, there's a bully story. A sophomore, a jacket from Chinatown, a school bus, and fifty kicks in the back. Angela tells it with the kind of humor and grace that only comes from having fully survived something. At the core of this conversation is a woman who gives a damn - loudly, imperfectly, and without apology. Angela is proof that the most interesting people often look the most ordinary on the surface, and that showing up for others, even when nobody's paying you nearly enough to do it, is one of the most quietly radical things a human being can do. Subscribe to The Essence of You wherever you listen to podcasts, and if this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it and let me know if you'd like to be a guest. 🎧 About Angela Reish: Angela Reish’s journey is rooted in service, resilience, and growth. Gen X now 57, like the ketchup, she began her career in the Air Force before spending 25 years in the corporate world. In the past three years, she’s embraced a new chapter as a high school substitute teacher, continuing her commitment to making a difference. Married for 28 years and proud of her German heritage, Angela brings a grounded perspective shaped by life experience, adaptability, and perseverance. Chapters 00:00 – Welcome & Introduction 00:29 – How Steph & Angela Met Through Belly Dancing 04:10 – Angela on Watching Steph's Creative Journey 06:59 – "What Makes You Different?" 07:32 – Growing Up With German Immigrant Parents 09:50 – Father's WWII Story: A Family Shaped by War 12:12 – Immigration to Canada, Then California 14:43 – When the Inside of Your House Is Germany & the Outside Is America 19:53 – Living in Idaho for 21 Years as a Non-Native 21:10 – The International Perspective (ft. Reham) 23:09 – Marriage, Parenting & Clashing Upbringings 29:25 – Husband's First Trips Abroad 32:20 – The Air Force Years: Her Version of College 39:28 – Corporate America: HP, Micron & Silicon Valley Rules 42:17 – Becoming a Substitute Teacher Post-COVID 44:38 – What Teaching Actually Looks Like (What People Don't See) 48:39 – Elementary vs. Junior High vs. High School Energy 51:23 – Building Real Connections With Students 53:18 – Creating Safe Space for LGBTQ+ Youth 57:50 – The Bully Story: A Jacket, a Bus & Standing Your Ground 01:07:01 – The RISE Program & The Gift of Nonverbal Kids 01:11:59 – Being Dismissed as "Just a Sub" 01:15:53 – Final Question: Who Are You at Your Core?

    1h 19m

  8. Apr 17

    From Near-Drowning to Choosing Joy: Single Mom of 7 on Reinventing Your Life | The Essence of You

    What does it take to stop just surviving and start truly living? In this episode of The Essence of You, host Steph Lokelani sits down with Mindy Love - entrepreneur, community builder, and single mother of seven - for a deeply honest and joyful conversation about life after hardship, the power of thinking differently, and what it really means to know yourself. Mindy shares the near-drowning experience on the Boise River that forced her to ask: What do I actually want to do with my life? From a difficult upbringing, to marrying young and raising seven children, to finding herself on the other side, Mindy's story is one of radical self-awareness, resilience, and choosing joy on purpose. Steph and Mindy cover everything from the life-changing lessons of improv comedy, to morning routines, bachata dancing, solo travel in Europe, the realities of social media vs. real life, raising self-sufficient kids, entrepreneurship, and the mindset shift that makes all the difference. If you've ever felt like you don't fit in one box, this episode is for you. Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes, leave a comment on what resonated with you the most, and let Steph know if you'd like to be a future guest! In this episode, you'll hear about: - How improv comedy helped Mindy come out of her shell and find her people - The near-drowning accident that changed everything and the peace she found underwater - Why Steph believes having a "backup plan" means not believing in yourself - Morning routines, intentional scheduling, and self-care for the chronically busy - Raising seven kids as a single mom and Mindy's unique "zone of ownership" system for the home - Why Mindy thinks differently about money, happiness, and what it means to truly live - The work-life balance lessons Mindy learned traveling through Amsterdam, Paris, and Spain - Navigating social media, comparison culture, and sharing your real story - The deep question: Who are you at your core, when all the labels fall away? About Mindy Love: Mindy Love is a multifaceted woman who is passionate about empowering others to step into their full potential. She sees the world through a unique lens and loves sharing her ideas, thoughts, and encouragement in a way that inspires real change. With a degree in English and Anthropology, her path has been anything but traditional—she’s held many roles over the years, from cosmetologist to ESL teacher to business owner, and is also a licensed real estate professional in Idaho. A lifelong learner and world traveler, she brings curiosity and perspective into everything she does. No matter where life has taken her, she always comes back to storytelling—whether that was writing for a small-town newspaper, sharing positive community stories, or studying and speaking on radio in college. She’s also a single mom of seven, determined to create a life she truly loves, and finds joy in reading, writing, dancing, and anything that connects her to freedom—especially horses. Chapters: 00:00 – Cold Open: "I just want to create a fun, happy life that works for me" 00:55 – Welcome & Introduction: Meet Mindy Love 01:51 – Why Mindy Got Into Improv Comedy 04:57 – Thinking Differently: Mindy's Unique Perspective on Life 06:23 – The Near-Drowning Experience on the Boise River 09:17 – 45 Days of Recovery and the Question That Changed Everything 10:37 – Shifts Mindy Made: Morning Routines and Intentional Time 11:51 – Dancing as Joy: Bachata, Swing, and Finding Your Happy Place 15:00 – After Divorce: Solo Trip to Florida and Starting Over 18:00 – Prioritizing Fun and Scheduling Joy Into Your Week 20:30 – Community, Loneliness, and What We Really Need from Each Other 24:30 – Kids, Screen Time, and Getting Off Electronics 26:50 – Social Media, the Highlight Reel, and Showing Your Real Life 27:20 – What Experience Most Shaped Who You Are Today (Childhood & Faith) 33:00 – Curiosity, Empathy, and Understanding Both Sides 36:00 – Giving Grace to Strangers and Staying in a Good Mood 40:00 – Self-Care When You Only Have 15 Minutes a Day 44:00 – Progress Over Perfection and Tiny Improvements 45:40 – Travel and European Work-Life Balance (Amsterdam, Paris, Spain) 49:50 – Growing Up in Hawaii and the Healing Power of the Ocean 54:00 – Parenting Seven Kids as a Single Mom: Survival Mode to Thriving 57:00 – The "Zone of Ownership" System for Running a Household 59:00 – Mental Health, Motherhood, and Teaching Kids Life Skills 01:01:00 – Entrepreneurship, Ideas, and Passive Streams of Income 01:03:47 – Closing Question: Who Are You at Your Core? 01:05:43 – Final Words of Encouragement from Mindy

    1h 7m

  9. Apr 10

    Word Vomit - Art, Authenticity & Building Community | The Essence of You Podcast

    Welcome to the very first episode of The Essence of You Podcast, recorded live on Pi Day (March 14th) in front of a real audience in Boise, Idaho! Host Steph Lokelani sits down with three incredible guests: Karma Metzler Fitzgerald (Community Leader), Reham Aarti (Arab American Mosaic Artist), and Mike Krause (Executive Coach & Mental Performance Strategist). Together, they dive deep into what it means to live authentically, lead with purpose, and show up for the people around you, even when burnout, imposter syndrome, and a chaotic world are telling you to stay home. From a 400-pound mosaic, to running for state office on impulse, to finding life on the stage, these are stories of saying "yes" before you feel ready. The conversation ranges from the collapse of civic community and the broken nonprofit funding model, to matriarchal leadership, joy as resistance, and why knowing your own values is the antidote to exhaustion. Raw, real, funny, and deeply human. This is the Essence of You. Subscribe so you don't miss future episodes, leave a comment on what resonated with you the most, and let Steph know if you'd like to be a guest! Guest Bios: Karma Metzler Fitzgerald currently identifies as exhausted. Life just keeps… lifing… so her priority is resting when possible and finding joy in the beautiful and sacred ordinary. Karma grew up a few blocks away in a working class family here in Boise, while splitting time with her farm family a few hours down the road in Buhl. She’s a typical Idaho girl – playing in the mud all day and attending the grand ball at night. Along the twisted road of adulthood, she’s worked everywhere from the governor’s office to the family kitchen. The constant has always been words and a passion for stringing them together in such a way that those words change a moment or a lifetime. In Lincoln County, where she lived for thirty years, she co-created a community supported child care program for every child from birth to graduation. Karma also developed a rural public transportation program to get residents where they need to be at low or no cost.  These days, Karma’s fully embracing her crone era. She leads with  fierce compassion seeking ways to connect people to the resources they need to thrive. Now back in Boise she is content to create a pollinator pathway in her neighborhood, muck about in her worm bins, and putter in her yard and garden. She does this while looking for opportunities to lead, build connection, and,  on occasion, stir up some trouble. Reham Aarti is an Arab American mosaic artist, activist, author, and mother of two whose work celebrates resilience, cultural identity, and community. Over a 29-year career, she has created mosaic installations across the United States and internationally. Reham is deeply committed to using art as a tool for connection and healing, including founding a 17-year program bringing mosaic workshops to children at St. Luke’s Hospital. Through public art, community murals, and educational outreach, she works to create spaces where creativity, compassion, and belonging can thrive. Mike Krause is an executive coach and mental performance strategist with Global Bound, LLC, where he partners with executives and emerging leaders to enhance performance, support sustainable growth, and strengthen holistic wellbeing both inside and outside the workplace. He brings over 25 years of executive leadership experience in the nonprofit sector, including 4½ years with the United States Department of State in Southern and Central Africa, where his work focused on public health initiatives and cross-cultural leadership. Mike serves as an executive coach for the Idaho Leads program and is the developer and lead facilitator of the Ascending Leaders initiative through the Idaho Community Foundation. He is currently pursuing a master’s degree in Sport and Performance Psychology, while co-hosting a weekly podcast and traveling throughout the country speaking on leadership, workplace culture, and mental fitness practices. Chapters: 00:00 – Welcome & Pi Day Origin Story 01:00 – Introducing the Podcast 02:30 – Guest Introductions 04:50 – Reham's Mosaic Art 16:30 – Karma's Journey: Journalism, Farming & Running for State Office 24:00 – Karma on Community & Leading Change 37:30 – Reham on Public Art & Volunteers 41:15 – Mike's Journey: From Meridian to Chicago and back 57:00 – Steph's Story: Filmmaking & Nonprofits 59:00 – Balancing Compassion Fatigue & Joy as Resistance 01:03:45 – Women as Community Glue & Matriarchal Leadership 01:06:00 – Imposter Syndrome: Wearing a Mask vs. Knowing Who You Are 01:17:00 – Audience Q&A: Burnout, Nonprofits & Getting Involved 01:20:00 – The Broken Nonprofit Funding Model 01:22:30 – Creating Sanctuary & Rebuilding Local Community 01:26:00 – "Bowling Alone": How Civic Disconnection Threatens Democracy 01:30:00 – Know Your Values, Get Out of Your Head & Lead with Stewardship 01:34:00 – Closing Thoughts

    1h 35m
  • 9 Episodes

About

Who are you when you take away the job title, the roles, the labels, and just be? Through intimate, unscripted conversations with host, Steph Lokelani, The Essence of You Podcast dives deep into the core of the human experience with people from all walks of life. New episodes release every Friday, with guests whose stories are as unique as the outfits they choose to wear, because yes, this is both a video AND audio podcast. Do you have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Tell me a little bit about you and let's get you in an episode! https://irlfilms.com/theessenceofyou

Information

  • Creator
    Steph Lokelani
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Essence of You Podcast