Ben and James Could Do Better: Two Teachers, No Idea

Ben and James: Secondary School Teachers
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Ben and James Could Do Better is a comedy podcast for secondary school teachers—recorded somewhere between the staff room, a lukewarm coffee, and a rapidly disappearing biscuit. If you’re searching for a secondary education podcast that actually reflects life in a UK classroom, you’re in the right place. Less phonics and glitter, more behaviour management, GCSE pressure, and the reality of teaching teenagers. With fifty years of combined experience in secondary schools, Ben and James have seen it all—from Progress 8 panic to the chaos of Year 9 on a Friday afternoon. This is the honest, funny take on teaching in the UK, packed with the kind of staff room conversations teachers don’t usually get time to have. Whether you’re an experienced teacher, an ECT navigating your first placement, or just curious about the state of modern education, there’s something here for you. No laminated posters. No inspirational assemblies. No budget. Just real talk about teacher life, workload, behaviour, and surviving the school week. We all went to school.Ben and James just never left.

  1. 3d ago

    He-Man and the Perfect Mug of Tea

    Milk first or milk last? It sounds like a harmless question until you ask it in a British staffroom. We tumble from casual brew chat into a proper national obsession: tea-making etiquette, why coffee somehow escapes the same scrutiny, and how a single mug can generate stronger opinions than most staff meetings. Along the way, we pit science against George Orwell in the great milk debate, discover the surprisingly specific "correct" colour of tea, and somehow find ourselves using He-Man as an entirely reasonable reference point.  Eventually, we arrive at this week's list. This week's victim is a list of end-of-term classroom activities that promises to keep secondary students engaged during the final week of school. Instead, it raises far more questions than it answers. Who is supplying thirty board games? How exactly do you "host Taskmaster" without the room descending into chaos? And why do so many online teaching ideas seem to have been invented by people who've never actually met a class on the last Friday in July? We also tackle the annual debate over end-of-term films, the frustration of only ever watching the first forty minutes, and why we'd often rather teach a normal lesson than pretend half a Disney film counts as learning. If you've got stronger opinions on tea than teaching—or better ideas for surviving the last week of term—we'd love to hear them. Leave us a review, share the episode with a colleague, and if you've got a better last-week-of-term activity—or a definitive answer to the milk debate—we'd love to hear from you. Email: bandjcdb@gmail.com Website: benandjamescoulddobetter.com Send us Fan Mail Support the show

  2. Jul 13

    The Ultimate Guide That Forgot Step Four

    A checklist can look impressively professional and still be completely useless. This week's proof is an "ultimate guide to organising school trips" that can't even keep track of its own Step Four. Before we get there, though, we wander off into the story of Jack Wild, the Artful Dodger from Oliver!, and the way celebrity encounters slowly evolve into family folklore until someone is convinced their dad was one casting decision away from Hollywood. From there, it's school productions, choir memories with Harry Secombe, and why the smallest performances often become the stories people remember for decades. Eventually—unlike some recent episodes—we remember this is supposed to be a podcast about secondary education. After a brief disagreement over this week's postcard, we set about dismantling the list. This week's victim is a school trips checklist that promises to tell teachers everything they need to know. Instead, it: Skips crucial steps,Muddles the order completely, andSomehow makes one of the most complicated parts of teaching sound like assembling flat-pack furniture.We pick apart the advice, discuss what actually goes into organising a successful school trip—from risk assessments and parent communication to medical information and logistical chaos—and ask whether some educational guidance is written by people who've ever organised a trip in the first place. If you've ever planned a school trip, spent hours chasing consent forms, or found yourself shouting, "That's not even the next step!", this episode is for you. Leave us a review, and while you're there, tell us about your best (or worst) school trip memory. Email: bandjcdb@gmail.comWebsite: benandjamescoulddobetter.comSend us Fan Mail Support the show

  3. Jul 6

    Five Contradictory Steps to Starting Secondary School

    Crisps on a microphone shouldn't lead to a serious conversation about education. And, to be fair, it doesn't. Instead, it leads to a deep dive into the world of crisps, followed closely by Ben trying to recreate James' morning routine as though it were a gritty Sunday night TV drama. Once we've finished auditioning actors for this dark, brooding biopic, we drift into the rest of the domestic chaos: reluctant wake-ups, hair dramas, and a child who currently insists on wearing a rotating collection of animal ears wherever they go. Along the way, we debate whether adults need to "perform" for children, what a proper homecoming from work actually looks like, and why Friday night pizza is less of a treat than a survival strategy. Eventually, we remember this is supposed to be an education podcast. This week's victim is a list of advice on helping pupils move from Year 6 to Year 7. On paper, it promises practical guidance. In reality, it's another collection of educational clichés, obvious observations, and suggestions that sound far more impressive than they are useful. We pick apart the recommendations, wonder how five pieces of advice can contradict each other so spectacularly, and lament missing the webinar that promised to use the power of celebrity to help Year 6 pupils settle into secondary school. If you've ever read an education article and wondered whether the author has actually met a Year 7—or if you just want to hear the pitch for James' upcoming television debut—this one's for you. Leave us a review, and while you're there, let us know: what's your Friday night comfort food? Email: bandjcdb@gmail.com Website: benandjamescoulddobetter.com Send us Fan Mail Support the show

  4. Jun 29

    Panini Stickers, Tangled Cassettes & Sugar-Free Lies

    Crack open a lukewarm can of Aldi 'Red Thunder' and get your pencils ready—we are taking an impromptu stroll down a very specific, tape-tangled memory lane. We kick off this week’s second-half double header by tackling the ubiquitous world of sugar-free drinks. They are absolutely everywhere, but we’re not entirely convinced they deserve the health halo they’ve picked up along the way. We dig into the awkward question people tend to skip past: if you’re having a fizzy drink as a treat, why pretend it’s a moral decision? From full-sugar classics to Diet and Zero versions, we compare taste, talk honestly about artificial sweeteners, and admit why some of them still don’t quite work for us. Things get even stranger when fast food chains start policing the drink menu while leaving everything else completely untouched. We unpack the logic of serving fried chicken, chips, and desserts alongside strict rules on full-sugar cola, and question whether these choices are really about health—or just corporate messaging. From there, the diet chat gets a bit too real. We confess to our own terrible habits: skipping breakfast, surviving on coffee and biscuits, and the recurring tragedy of never packing a lunch to work (a stream-of-consciousness anecdote Ben loves so much he literally retold it from Episode 5). We lay our questionable food intakes bare and talk about the exact moment a throwaway comment about cholesterol suddenly stops being funny. Finally, a museum postcard featuring a classic cassette tape triggers a sharp turn into heavy, unadulterated nostalgia. We dive headfirst into the sights and sounds of our youth: mixtapes, Sunday chart countdowns, ghetto blasters, VCRs, video rental shops, Panini stickers, and the sacred art of rescuing a tangled tape with a pencil. We do our absolute best to prove we genuinely grew up as children of the 1980s, all while trying (and slightly failing) to stay clear of the usual American pop-culture clichés. Rewind With Us If you survived the '80s, still know how to rewind a cassette by hand, or just enjoy listening to two tired teachers spiral into a stream of consciousness, hit subscribe and share this episode with a mate down the hall! Drop us a review and let us know: Are you team full-sugar, team sugar-free, or team water? (And do your friends actively refuse to listen to your podcast, too?) Email: bandjcdb@gmail.comWeb: benandjamescoulddobetter.comSend us Fan Mail Support the show

  5. Jun 22

    The Lolly Stick Lottery Nobody Wants To Win

    That first bite of a "healthy" ice lolly can tell you everything you need to know. We try a supposedly premium fruit lolly that somehow tastes more like frozen sweetener than fruit, before rescuing the mood with a proper classic: the Fab. From the chocolate coating to the hundreds and thousands, we get surprisingly forensic about texture, flavour, and why some frozen treats still feel like instant summer. The nostalgia doesn't stop there. We revisit childhood favourites including Funny Feet, Mini Milk, and Screwballs, along with the questionable joy of finding bubblegum where ice cream ought to be. Along the way, we remember corner-shop culture, penny sweets, and the treats that definitely wouldn't make it onto a school trip today. If you enjoy conversations about budget supermarkets, Aldi ice creams, and whether value can beat brand, you'll feel right at home. Then, inevitably, we swerve into education. "Lolly stick anxiety" sounds silly until you think about what it feels like when your name might be pulled to answer a question. We talk about fairness, SEND realities, and how seemingly small classroom routines can create genuine stress when pupils don't feel safe. We also confess to our football ignorance, unpack the social pressure surrounding the World Cup, and finish by reading some of the increasingly grand marketing emails that arrive once you've released a few podcast episodes. Expect SEO sales pitches, AI literacy platforms, and guest requests from people who have clearly never listened to the show. If you enjoy funny, honest conversations about teaching, childhood nostalgia, and the everyday systems that shape how we feel, hit subscribe, share the episode with a mate, and leave us a review. We want to hear from you: What's the ice lolly that takes you straight back? Email: bandjcdb@gmail.com Website: benandjamescoulddobetter.com Send us Fan Mail Support the show

  6. Jun 15

    We Accidentally Forgot to Talk About Education

    Kwik Save, Gateway, Safeway, HyperValue... say any of those names out loud and you can practically smell the fluorescent lighting. We start by correcting our own questionable supermarket history before disappearing down a rabbit hole of UK retail nostalgia, value ranges, and how Aldi and Lidl quietly changed the way Britain shops. Normally, this is the point where we'd introduce an education article, a list of dubious teaching advice, or some piece of corporate nonsense to pick apart. This week, we forget. Instead, a classroom register somehow leads us into Esperanto, the invented world language that never quite conquered the globe, before we drift into BBC soap operas, Eldorado, and the theme tunes that have survived far longer than the programmes themselves. Along the way, we discuss composer Simon May and why a melody can transport you back thirty years faster than almost anything else. We also talk about life behind the podcast: why we've revived the Ben and James Could Do Better blog, how we're trying to promote the show without becoming unbearable about it, and why the blog finally gives our postcard segment a proper home. This week's postcard features a surfing sun and a message that's probably more useful than most educational guidance documents: "Happiness comes in waves, it will find you again." Naturally, things end with snacks. We compare supermarket copycat brands, debate Galaxy ice cream, discuss why own-brand crisps never quite get it right, and marvel at energy drink names that seem increasingly determined to sound dangerous. There's also a late-90s cautionary tale involving a "quad vod"—the kind of drink that leaves you able to remember the night perfectly but unable to look at Red Bull in quite the same way ever again. In short, this is the episode where we accidentally forget to talk about education and somehow spend an hour discussing supermarkets, Esperanto, TV theme tunes, postcards, snacks, and nostalgia instead. If that sounds like your sort of professional development, subscribe, share the show with a fellow nostalgia-head, and leave us a review. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

  7. Jun 8

    A Publishing Professional Discovers Teenagers

    A pair of polyester trousers, a slightly posher tie, and the social politics of the stockroom should not lead to a conversation about literacy, but somehow it does. We start by reliving our early retail jobs in Cardiff, from Boots uniforms and "Men's Technical" departments to the legendary stockroom guru who somehow holds the entire operation together. Along the way, we revisit late-night shopping, Sunday opening, and the strange workplace traditions that everyone follows without ever questioning. We also catch up on real life: a trip to a toy superstore, a pretend mobile phone that refuses to charge, and a customer service desk that turns a simple return into something resembling a legal hearing. Then we arrive at the main event: an article by a publishing professional who leaves the corporate world to teach GCSE English resits and discovers that many teenagers don't enjoy reading. Armed with this revelation, he offers a list of suggestions for getting boys to read. Some of the ideas are sensible. Some are obvious. Some feel suspiciously like advice that sounds profound until you remember teachers have been doing it for decades. We pick apart his arguments on reading for pleasure, set texts, literacy, GCSE English, and whether there's really a magic formula for creating readers. Along the way we discuss airport fiction, choice, role models, and the slightly baffling insistence that every reading list should include a short story by Tom Hanks. If you've ever rolled your eyes at education advice that rediscovers things teachers already know, this episode will feel very familiar. Subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave us a review with the book that made you a reader. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

  8. Jun 1

    Made-Up Challenges (Solved With More Paperwork)

    Party rings that somehow taste stale straight from the packet, a Huntley & Palmers tin, and the brutal truth that the quality of a school meeting can be measured entirely by the biscuit selection. That’s where we begin — because school life is often defined by the tiny details nobody ever writes into policy. For once, we’re recording on location in an actual school during half-term, complete with strategically placed blankets to recreate the “bedroom acoustics” we normally rely on. From there, we catch up on the week: a long drive in an ageing car that can’t decide how it wants to overheat, and a golden wedding anniversary trip to Centre Parcs — described here as a strangely beautiful open prison. If you’ve been, you’ll know exactly what we mean. Then we get to the main event: a list from a DBS-check provider claiming to explain the “Ten Challenges of Teaching and How to Overcome Them.” The topics will sound familiar to anyone in education — behaviour, workload, SEND, communication, burnout, leadership pressure, safeguarding, motivation, and paperwork. The problem? Most of the advice boils down to “work harder, but positively.” We pick apart the corporate language, the Americanised assumptions, and the way genuinely difficult issues like behaviour management, safeguarding, and family challenges get flattened into meaningless bullet points and LinkedIn optimism. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at unrealistic teacher advice, this episode will feel both cathartic and painfully familiar. Subscribe, share it with a colleague who needs the laugh, and leave us a review. What would you put on a genuinely useful list of teaching challenges? Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

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Ben and James Could Do Better is a comedy podcast for secondary school teachers—recorded somewhere between the staff room, a lukewarm coffee, and a rapidly disappearing biscuit. If you’re searching for a secondary education podcast that actually reflects life in a UK classroom, you’re in the right place. Less phonics and glitter, more behaviour management, GCSE pressure, and the reality of teaching teenagers. With fifty years of combined experience in secondary schools, Ben and James have seen it all—from Progress 8 panic to the chaos of Year 9 on a Friday afternoon. This is the honest, funny take on teaching in the UK, packed with the kind of staff room conversations teachers don’t usually get time to have. Whether you’re an experienced teacher, an ECT navigating your first placement, or just curious about the state of modern education, there’s something here for you. No laminated posters. No inspirational assemblies. No budget. Just real talk about teacher life, workload, behaviour, and surviving the school week. We all went to school.Ben and James just never left.

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