Control or Be Controlled

Darlington Ogbuka

Most people aren’t in control of their lives they’re driven by habits, addictions, emotions, and distractions they don’t question. Control or Be Controlled explores discipline, self mastery, modern addiction, and the psychology of ambition. Through raw solo episodes and real conversations, it breaks down what it takes to take back control mentally, emotionally, and financially. No surface level motivation just honest, direct insight for those ready to live with intention and build consistency, focus, and long term growth in a distracted world. New Episodes Weekly

  1. 3d ago

    Erik Oliver: The Tax Strategy Hidden Inside Your Building — Cost Segregation Explained

    What if your real estate investment could generate significant tax savings without buying another property? Many investors overlook the tax opportunities hiding inside buildings they already own. In this episode of Control or Be Controlled, Darlington sits down with Erik Oliver, Director of Client Solutions at Maven Cost Segregation and a nationally recognized cost segregation expert with more than a decade of experience helping real estate investors uncover potential tax savings. Erik explains how cost segregation works, why certain building components may be depreciated over shorter periods, and how strategic depreciation can help property owners improve cash flow and free up capital for future investments. Drawing on his experience working with hundreds of property owners, developers, commercial real estate investors, and CPAs, Erik breaks down complex tax rules into practical strategies investors can better understand and discuss with their tax professionals. In this conversation, we explore: What cost segregation is and how it can help real estate investorsThe tax strategy hidden inside commercial and investment propertiesHow accelerated depreciation may improve cash flowWhat investors need to understand about bonus depreciationCommon depreciation mistakes that could mean leaving potential tax savings unclaimedCost segregation myths, including concerns about IRS audits and tax recaptureWhen a cost segregation study makes financial sense—and when it might notHow investors can turn tax savings into capital for future growthThe questions every property owner should ask their CPA before pursuing a studyWhether you’re an experienced real estate investor, a commercial property owner, a developer, or someone building a property portfolio, this episode will help you better understand an often-overlooked part of real estate tax planning. Because taking control of your investments isn’t just about how much money you make. It’s also about understanding the rules, managing what you keep, and making informed decisions about what comes next. Explore your potential tax savings with Erik Oliver. Maven Cost Segregation offers property owners the opportunity to submit basic property information and receive a free, no-obligation, engineering-based cost segregation proposal. It provides a personalized estimate of potential accelerated depreciation and tax savings before you commit to a study. 🌐 Get your free proposal: https://www.mavencostseg.com/team/erik-oliver/ 💼 Connect with Erik on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erik-oliver-b800657/

  2. 3d ago

    Sherry Shaban: Why Diets Fail, Food Freedom & the Mindset Behind Lasting Transformation

    What if lasting transformation isn’t about pushing harder, eating less, or following another restrictive diet—but changing your relationship with food, movement, and yourself? In this episode of Control or Be Controlled, Darlington sits down with Sherry Shaban, creator of the Make Peace with Food™ Method and a nervous system expert with over 25 years of experience in health, fitness, and life coaching. After a near-paralysis experience forced Sherry to rethink her approach to healing, she discovered a different path to transformation—one that goes beyond physical results to address mindset, identity, habits, and the nervous system. Sherry challenges conventional dieting and fitness advice, helping people understand why they struggle to maintain results and how they can build a healthier, more sustainable relationship with food and their bodies. In this conversation, we explore: ● Why diets often fail and what to do instead ● The difference between achieving results and creating lasting transformation ● How your mindset and identity influence your habits and physical health ● What intuitive eating means and why Sherry challenges restrictive dieting ● The role of the nervous system in self-sabotage and personal change ● How Sherry overcame debilitating back pain and transformed her approach to health ● What it means to treat yourself like an athlete, regardless of your fitness level ● The habits that support consistency, resilience, and long-term progress ● How to build a healthier relationship with food without becoming controlled by rigid rules ● Why becoming unstoppable starts with changing how you think, live, and respond to challenges Sherry also shares insights from her work as a certified hypnotherapist, yoga practitioner, and osteopath, and explains how she brings together movement, mindset, and nervous system regulation to help people create meaningful change. Whether you’re struggling with dieting, chasing physical goals, recovering from setbacks, or trying to break patterns that keep holding you back, this conversation offers a different perspective on what it means to take control of your health and your life. Because transformation isn’t just about changing your body. It’s about building the mindset, habits, and relationship with yourself that allow change to last. Connect with Sherry Shaban and explore her resources: 🌐 Website and resources: https://www.sherryshaban.com/transform 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makepeacewithfoodofficial 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sherryshaban/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZDsDeXdFBPiWbtdZFeQktw 🧵 Threads: https://www.threads.com/@makepeacewithfoodofficial

  3. 3d ago

    Claire Sookman: When Technology Changes Your Life Hypersensitivity, Health & Protecting Our Children

    What happens when the technology we depend on every day becomes a source of fear, uncertainty, and profound personal change? In this episode of Control or Be Controlled, Darlington sits down with Claire Sookman, transformational speaker and founder of Safe Kids Strong Moms, to explore her personal experience with electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS), the challenges of rebuilding a life after a major health crisis, and the questions technology raises about our health, families, and modern way of living. Claire describes how her experience with EHS dramatically changed her life. At her lowest point, she says she was living in darkness with only a flashlight and one burner, struggling to imagine how she could survive. Writing became a way to process what she was experiencing, eventually leading to a bestselling book and a broader mission to help others understand her perspective. As she began rebuilding her life, Claire turned her attention toward the wider conversation about technology, wellbeing, and children’s digital environments. That journey inspired her to create Safe Kids Strong Moms, a platform dedicated to encouraging meaningful conversations and informed decisions about technology and family life. In this conversation, we explore: • What Claire means by electromagnetic hypersensitivity and how she describes its impact on her life
• The personal crisis that forced her to rethink everything
• How writing helped her process adversity and find a new sense of purpose
• What rebuilding your life can look like after losing the life you once knew
• Why Claire believes families should think carefully about technology and wellbeing
• Questions parents can ask when evaluating their children’s digital environments
• How to approach conversations about technology, health, and uncertainty
• What Claire wishes healthcare professionals understood about the experiences of people reporting EHS
• How personal hardship can become a catalyst for advocacy
• Where parents can begin when making decisions about technology in the home This is a conversation about adversity, personal responsibility, parenting, and navigating a world where technology is becoming increasingly embedded in everyday life. Electromagnetic hypersensitivity is a reported condition, and its proposed relationship with electromagnetic fields remains scientifically contested. Claire shares her personal experience and perspective, opening up a broader discussion about how we evaluate health concerns, listen to people’s experiences, and make informed decisions. If you’re a parent, caregiver, or someone thinking more deeply about the relationship between technology, health, and human connection, this episode invites you to question your assumptions and approach these conversations with curiosity and care. Because taking control isn’t about rejecting every new technology. It’s about asking better questions, understanding the choices available to us, and deciding how we want technology to fit into our lives. Connect with Claire Sookman 🌐 Website: https://www.safekidsstrongmoms.com/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/safekidsstrongmoms/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@clairesookman 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairesookman/ ▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@safekidsstrongmoms 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/claire.sookman.9/ Explore Safe Kids Strong Moms for more of Claire’s work on technology, family wellbeing, and informed decision-making.

  4. Sep 24

    Steve Ward: STEPS to a Better Life—How to Prevent Addiction and Help Families Thrive

    What if the key to preventing addiction and mental health struggles isn't waiting for a crisis—but taking small, practical steps toward a healthier, more integrated life right now? Steve Ward—founder and Executive Director of STEPS Ministries, author, speaker, and coach—joins us for a conversation about personal effectiveness, emotional well-being, spiritual growth, and the prevention of addiction and relapse. Steve Ward knows what it's like for people who are hurting, because he's been there. He struggled with alcoholism, and other members of his family dealt with substance abuse, mental health issues, and other problems as well. But he saw there are proven ways to not only prevent behavioral health issues but to live life better. Those dark times led him to leave the business world after 38 years at IBM and found a new nonprofit ministry to help people improve their lives and prevent compulsive issues from robbing them and their family of the peace and joy they deserve. He is the author of STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life and Next Right Steps: How to Live Life Better, publishes the STEPS Journey Blog and a parenting blog, and hosts the Next Right Steps podcast. In this episode, Steve Ward shares the personal experiences that led him to found a nonprofit to help hurting people, what STEPS Ministries does and how the organization helps people, and why he believes anyone can take practical steps to improve their lives. He also discusses whether it's possible to prevent substance use and mental health issues—and how to do it. He explains what "proactive parenting" means and how it works, the risks facing teenagers and what families can do to avoid them, and how pre-teens and teenagers can learn practical life skills to help them thrive. Plus, he offers practical ways to deal with worry and anxiety, how to live more intentionally, and how to grow spiritually and learn more about faith and God. If you're struggling, you know someone who is, or you just want to get more out of life, this conversation with Steve Ward will give you practical steps you can take toward a more satisfying and effective lifestyle—and the peace, joy, and purpose you deserve. In this episode, we explore: · What personal experiences led Steve to found a nonprofit to help hurting people · What STEPS Ministries does and how the organization helps people · Why anyone can take practical steps to improve their lives · Is it possible to prevent substance use and mental health issues—and how? · What "proactive parenting" means and how it works · The risks facing teenagers and what families can do to avoid them · How pre-teens and teenagers can learn practical life skills to help them thrive · Ways people can deal with worry and anxiety · How to live more intentionally to make life better · What people can do to grow spiritually and learn more about faith and God · How to live life better one step at a time · How to live intentionally, reduce anxiety, and improve relationships · How parents can help their kids remain healthy and happy · How teenagers can thrive and avoid risks and temptations Connect with Steve Ward: · Website: https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ · Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/STEPSMinistries/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stepsministries/ · YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@stepsministries · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-ward-steps/ · Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/stepsministries/ Listen to His Podcast: Next Right Steps https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ Get His Books: STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life and Next Right Steps: How to Live Life Better Available now https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/ Explore Resources: Whether you're struggling, you know someone who is, or you just want to get more out of life, the STEPS website offers articles, videos, podcasts, books, and online resources that offer help, healing, and hope. https://lifeimprovementsteps.com/

  5. Sep 24

    Joella Hopkins: The Aloha Advantage—Building Brands Through Culture, Community, and Connection

    What if the secret to building a brand people genuinely love isn't better design or cleverer marketing—but understanding people, culture, and community? Joella Hopkins—President of Branding Aloha and The Branding Teams, and a proud homegrown Oʻahu entrepreneur—joins us for a conversation about branding, multicultural marketing, and why the spirit of aloha is more than a Hawaiʻi tradition—it's a business philosophy. Joella Hopkins was born and raised on Oʻahu and is a graduate of Moanalua High School. While her career led her to the mainland, where she spent more than two decades building brands, leading marketing teams, and helping organizations grow, Hawaiʻi has always remained home. Today, through Branding Aloha, she helps businesses, nonprofits, hospitality brands, and entrepreneurs build brands that people genuinely connect with. She believes exceptional branding goes far beyond beautiful design or clever marketing—it begins with understanding people, culture, and community. By leading with authenticity, purpose, and strategy, she helps organizations create brands that people trust, remember, and enthusiastically recommend. In this episode, Joella Hopkins shares what branding really is, why some businesses become loved while others are simply chosen, and what growing up in Hawaiʻi taught her about business. She also discusses what mainland businesses can learn from the spirit of aloha, why multicultural marketing is about much more than translation, and what it means that every person has a personal brand. Plus, she reveals the biggest branding mistake companies make, how to build a brand people love, and how entrepreneurship has changed her life. As a proud Latina raised in Hawaiʻi, she brings multiple cultural lenses to her work and a passion for storytelling, entrepreneurship, and building brands that bring people together rather than divide them. If you're a business owner, marketer, or entrepreneur who wants to build a brand that people trust, remember, and recommend—or you're curious about how culture and community can transform your business—this conversation with Joella Hopkins will give you practical strategies, real-world experience, and actionable insights to help you grow while staying true to who you are. In this episode, we explore: · What branding really is · Why some businesses become loved while others are simply chosen · What growing up in Hawaiʻi taught Joella about business · What mainland businesses can learn from the spirit of aloha · Why multicultural marketing is about much more than translation · What it means that every person has a personal brand · The biggest branding mistake companies make · How to build a brand people love · How entrepreneurship has changed Joella's life · The Aloha Advantage: applying Hawaiian values to modern business · Why AI will change marketing—but human connection will always win · Culture isn't a checkbox: the future of multicultural marketing · From Oʻahu to the mainland and back: lessons in entrepreneurship, branding, and coming home · If every listener remembered one thing, what it would be Connect with Joella Hopkins: · Website: https://www.brandingaloha.com · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brandingaloha/ Learn More: Visit BrandingAloha.com to continue the conversation or learn how the spirit of aloha can transform your brand. https://www.brandingaloha.com

  6. Sep 24

    Savio P. Clemente: Clarity Fails First—Adaptive Resilience and Performing Under Prolonged Pressure

    What happens to human performance when pressure lasts longer than expected—and what if the first thing to fail isn't your performance, but your clarity? Savio P. Clemente—keynote and TEDx speaker, journalist, board-certified health and wellness coach, and bestselling author—joins us for a conversation about leadership, decision-making, resilience, and what happens when pressure doesn't simply go away. Savio P. Clemente explores what happens to human performance when pressure lasts longer than expected. His work sits at the intersection of leadership, decision-making, resilience, and human performance, helping leaders understand why clarity, judgment, and performance can begin to deteriorate after prolonged pressure—even when they appear to be doing fine on the outside. As a journalist, he has interviewed more than 2,000 leaders, experts, and thought leaders, while his own experience surviving cancer twice reshaped how he thinks about uncertainty, resilience, identity, and decision-making under pressure. His Adaptive Resilience Leadership framework gives leaders practical ways to reduce cognitive overload, regain clarity, and perform consistently when the pressure does not simply go away. In this episode, Savio P. Clemente shares why clarity fails before performance does, what pressure actually does to the way we think, make decisions, relate to others, and recover, and how his own experience surviving cancer twice reshaped his understanding of resilience and identity. He also discusses executive decision-making under pressure, decision fatigue, cognitive overload, burnout and recovery, navigating uncertainty, and the lessons adversity can teach us about how we lead and live. He's especially interested in the space between surviving something and actually returning to full performance—a period that is often overlooked, yet it is where clarity, confidence, and decision quality can quietly change. If you're a leader navigating prolonged pressure, uncertainty, or the kind of stress that doesn't simply go away—or you're curious about how to sustain performance without burning out—this conversation with Savio P. Clemente will give you practical frameworks, research-informed perspectives, and stories from both his work and lived experience. In this episode, we explore: · Why clarity fails before performance does · What pressure does to the way we think, make decisions, relate to others, and recover · How surviving cancer twice reshaped Savio's understanding of resilience and identity · Executive decision-making and leadership under pressure · Decision fatigue and cognitive overload · Burnout and recovery · Navigating uncertainty · Human performance and the space between surviving and returning to full performance · Identity after disruption · The lessons adversity can teach us about how we lead and live · The Adaptive Resilience Leadership framework · How to reduce cognitive overload, regain clarity, and perform consistently when pressure doesn't go away · Head, heart, and gut intelligence for better decisions under pressure Connect with Savio P. Clemente: · Substack: https://thehumanresolve.substack.com · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saviopclemente/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saviopclemente/ · Website: https://www.saviopclemente.com/ Subscribe to His Newsletter: The Human Resolve®—Savio's weekly Substack newsletter where he shares practical strategies for navigating life and leadership after disruption. Each issue focuses on head, heart, and gut intelligence, helping leaders think clearly, reduce cognitive load, and make better decisions under pressure. https://thehumanresolve.substack.com

  7. Sep 23

    Margie Allman: From Surviving Straight, Inc. to Thriving at 60 —Tools for Peace After Trauma

    What does it take to finally feel at peace with yourself after surviving institutionalized child abuse, addiction, prostitution, and the loss of your partner of 22 years? Margie Allman author of The Sufferfest: How Sex, Drugs, and Triathlon Saved My Life and Pilates instructor joins us for a raw and hopeful conversation about trauma, healing, and the tools that helped her finally create a life she actually wants to live. Margie Allman's story is one of surviving the unimaginable and refusing to give up. She survived institutionalized child abuse at a place called Straight, Inc. an institution for kids that is the subject of the podcast The Sunshine Place, produced by Robert Downey, Jr. What followed was what she calls "The Aftermath": heavier into addiction and prostitution. She got epilepsy from a high fever at age 19, which went away when she was in her 40s. At 30, she almost died from Toxic Shock Syndrome, which followed a healthy cocaine addiction. She became a Pilates instructor at 33 and a triathlete at 38. Triathlon babysat her trauma until a month before her 50th birthday, when she lost her partner of 22 years. That loss led to the healing she needed all along. In this episode, Margie Allman shares the tools that have helped her finally, at the age of 60, learn to be at peace with herself and create a life she actually wants to live. She talks about letting go of shame, learning to be comfortable in her own skin and her own weirdness, and what it really means to try and fail and never, ever give up. She also discusses how triathlon saved her life, what it was like to survive Straight, Inc., and why the healing she needed all along only came after the loss of her partner. Her book is about overcoming obstacles—and about the peace that becomes possible when you finally stop running from yourself. If you're a survivor of trauma, addiction, or abuse or you're looking for proof that healing and peace are possible no matter how far you've fallen this conversation with Margie Allman will move you, inspire you, and remind you that it's never too late to create a life worth living. In this episode, we explore: · Margie's experience at Straight, Inc. and the institutionalized child abuse she survived · The Aftermath: addiction and prostitution · Getting epilepsy at 19 and how it eventually went away · Nearly dying from Toxic Shock Syndrome at 30 · Becoming a Pilates instructor at 33 and a triathlete at 38 · How triathlon babysat her trauma · Losing her partner of 22 years and how that loss led to the healing she needed · Letting go of shame and learning to be comfortable in your own skin · The tools that helped her find peace at 60 · What it means to try and fail and never give up · Creating a life you actually want to live Connect with Margie Allman: · Website: https://www.margieallman.com/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/margieallman/ · Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/margieallman/ · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margieallman/ Get Her Book: The Sufferfest: How Sex, Drugs, and Triathlon Saved My Life — forthcoming

  8. Sep 23

    Daniel Neissany: I'm The Problem—How Leadership Blind Spots Quietly Cost You Millions

    What if the biggest threat to your practice isn't market forces, insurance reimbursement, or staffing shortages—but leadership blind spots you can't see? Daniel Neissany, DPT—healthcare leadership strategist, co-founder of Best Practice Strategies, and author of I'm The Problem: Take Your Leadership Skills From Toxic to Transformative—joins us for a candid conversation about how poor leadership and broken systems quietly destroy culture, cash flow, and retention. Daniel Neissany has spent nearly two decades inside clinical organizations—first as a clinician, then as a director and executive—seeing exactly how poor leadership and broken systems quietly destroy culture, cash flow, and retention. After earning his doctorate in Physical Therapy and practicing clinically for 14 years, he was promoted into a director role with no leadership training. What followed was costly: high turnover, cultural breakdown, and six-figure losses driven not by market forces, but by leadership blind spots. That experience forced a hard realization: he was the problem. Dan committed to mastering leadership, operations, and the business mechanics of healthcare. That shift helped grow an organization from 8 employees and $2.5M in revenue to over 150 employees and $36M annually. He now helps healthcare organizations stabilize, scale, and lead without burnout or chaos. In this episode, Daniel Neissany shares why most healthcare practices don't fail—they erode. He discusses how poor leadership quietly costs millions, why burnout isn't a staffing problem but a systems problem, and the hidden cost of employee turnover no one talks about. He also explains why great care alone will never save a broken business, what the transition from clinician to leader actually requires, and why most organizations don't fail because of effort—they fail because leadership ignores the systems that quietly erode culture and profit. Plus, he offers practical frameworks for reducing chaos without adding more work and reframes burnout in a way that replaces blame with ownership. If you're a clinic owner, healthcare leader, or anyone who wants to grow a profitable, people-centered practice without burnout or dependency on insurance revenue, this conversation with Daniel Neissany will give you clarity, language for leadership blind spots, and confidence that sustainable growth is possible. In this episode, we explore: · Why most healthcare practices don't fail—they erode · How poor leadership quietly costs you millions · Why burnout isn't a staffing problem—it's a systems problem · The hidden cost of employee turnover no one talks about · Why great care alone will never save a broken business · From clinician to leader: the transition no one prepares you for · How leadership behavior connects directly to financial outcomes · The mistakes most leaders won't admit · Practical ways to reduce chaos without adding more work · A reframed view of burnout that replaces blame with ownership · How to balance patient care, profitability, and personal wellbeing · How to scale without burnout or dependency on insurance revenue · Why sustainable growth is possible, even in healthcare Connect with Daniel Neissany: · Website: https://www.bestpracticestrategies.com/ · LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-neissany/ · Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bestpracticestrategies/ · Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bestpracticestrategies/ Listen to His Podcast: All Things LOCS—a weekly show offering practical frameworks for leadership, team performance, and sustainable practice growth. https://www.bestpracticestrategies.com/podcast Get His Book: I'm The Problem: Take Your Leadership Skills From Toxic to Transformative — available now (Please provide the purchase link if available.)

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4.9
out of 5
26 Ratings

About

Most people aren’t in control of their lives they’re driven by habits, addictions, emotions, and distractions they don’t question. Control or Be Controlled explores discipline, self mastery, modern addiction, and the psychology of ambition. Through raw solo episodes and real conversations, it breaks down what it takes to take back control mentally, emotionally, and financially. No surface level motivation just honest, direct insight for those ready to live with intention and build consistency, focus, and long term growth in a distracted world. New Episodes Weekly

Information

  • Creator
    Darlington Ogbuka
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    758
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Darlington Ogbuka
  • Show Website
    Control or Be Controlled