Holding It Together (Kinda)

Michael Mackniak, Esq
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Mental Health

Here we will get real in our conversations about Mental Illness and Caregiving, and the messy reality of keeping it all balanced.    No sugar-coating, no clinical jargon—just real talk about the hospitalizations, the medication battles, and the toll it takes on a home   This is for the parents, siblings, and partners who are doing the impossible every single day.  Holding It Together is a home for the overthinkers, the multitaskers, and anyone who feels like they’re one spilled coffee away from a meltdown. 

  1. 4d ago

    The Future Proof Parent: Special Needs Planning Without Panic with Rebecca Iantuonni

    Send us Fan Mail The scariest caregiving question isn’t medical. It’s the quiet one that shows up at 2 a.m.: “What happens to my loved one when I’m gone?” I sit down with my friend of 40-plus years, attorney Rebecca Iantoni, to make special needs planning feel human, doable, and real, not like a pile of legal forms you will “get to someday.” We talk about the fragile “house of cards” so many families build with public benefits like Medicaid, SSI, housing supports, and waiver programs, and why a single windfall inheritance can accidentally knock it all down. Rebecca explains Medicaid waivers in plain English, why private insurance doesn’t always replace state resources, and how to move past analysis paralysis by taking “small clicks” across life stages like age 18 decision making, transition planning after high school, employment supports, and community life. Then we get into the practical tools: how a special needs trust is designed to supplement benefits, why purely discretionary distributions help protect Medicaid eligibility, and how a letter of intent can capture the details a future caregiver will desperately need. We also cover funding strategies like second-to-die life insurance and retirement account planning in a post-SECURE Act world, plus a blunt conversation about siblings, boundaries, and why family trustees should take a fair fee to prevent resentment. If you’re a parent, sibling, guardian, or caregiver trying to balance love with logistics, this one will give you a starting point you can act on today. Subscribe for more, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review. After you listen, what’s the very first “small click” you’re willing to write down?  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  2. Jul 16

    Understanding Hoarding

    Send us Fan Mail A home packed with newspapers, dogs, broken toasters, or “valuable” scraps can look like a simple cleanup problem until you hear what the objects mean. Hoarding isn’t a character flaw, and it’s rarely about laziness. For many people, a pile is a memory system, a shield, or a last connection to someone they lost and trying to remove it can feel like real physical pain. Michael sits down with Angela and Stephanie to unpack what hoarding disorder actually is, what it isn’t, and why it so often shows up alongside depression, ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and even dementia-related changes. We walk through the patterns we see on the ground: how one room quietly spreads to the whole house, why “files vs piles” can paralyze decision making, and how acquiring can create a dopamine hit that temporarily relieves stress while making the problem worse over time. We also talk about the hidden casualties, including spouses and kids who feel like strangers in their own home. Then we zoom out to the safety and systems side: fire hazards, pests, Section 8 inspections, blight complaints, and the blunt force of housing court and forced cleanouts. We explain why dumpsters can clear a hallway without solving the cause, and what helps instead: harm reduction, safe pathways, coordinated teams, and evidence-based treatment like cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure work built on trust. If hoarding is touching your family, you’re not alone and you’re not crazy for feeling exhausted. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more caregivers can find these conversations. What part of hoarding feels hardest to talk about in your home?  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  3. Jul 9

    All the Wrong Doors

    Send us Fan Mail “No wrong door” is one of the nicest promises in mental health policy. It’s also the line that can break you when you’re living the reality: months-long waits, intake appointments that lead nowhere, referral lists that are outdated, and a loved one who keeps getting discharged back home while you’re told to “just make some calls.” If you’ve ever felt like the door is there but your hand can’t find the handle, we made this one for you. We talk through what we call the loop of despair and why a system that’s meant to be a safety net so often becomes a labyrinth. With Sara and Stephanie, we get specific about what actually helps families navigate social services and mental health care: asking about openings before repeating your whole story, matching the right level of care to the right need, and pushing for real discharge planning while someone is still inpatient. We also dig into system overload, why care turns reactive, and what happens to the people stuck on the edge between “not sick enough” and “too complex.” Then we get into the practical power moves that don’t require you to burn bridges: document everything, set boundaries, become a respected ally to the team, and escalate up the chain when apathy or misinformation becomes a pattern. We also explain the probate court pivot, including how a court-appointed attorney can help unlock action when you’re truly stuck. We end with the balance that keeps you in this for the long haul: proactive advocacy paired with real self-care. If this helps, subscribe, share it with someone who’s carrying too much, and leave a review so more families can find us.  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  4. Jul 2

    Set Boundaries And Still Love Them with Dr Michelle Sherman author of Loving Someone with Mental Illness

    Send us Fan Mail Your loved one can be struggling in plain sight, and somehow the whole family learns to whisper about it. We sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Michelle Sherman, author of *Loving Someone with Mental Illness or a History of Trauma*, to talk about the hidden workload of family caregiving, the silence that grows around stigma, and the very real barriers in the US mental health system that keep people from getting support early. We get specific about the emotional side too: ambiguous loss, resentment, and the grief of watching a “new normal” take shape. Dr. Sherman brings a research grounded view of psychosis outcomes and a recovery framework that doesn’t sugarcoat relapses but refuses to label anyone as permanently “gone.” We also talk about how to hold hope when you can’t feel it for your loved one, and why it still counts to build hope for yourself. Then we turn practical: how to show up to short psychiatry appointments with a tight list of facts, how to advocate without getting dismissed, and why relationship and listening have to come before any hard conversation about hygiene, meds, or daily functioning. We also name the siblings and kids who become invisible in these families, and what support can look like for them. Finally, we tackle boundaries and red lines, including what to do in acute crisis when safety is at stake and the only priority is getting yourself and your family safe. If you’re a caregiver, a partner, a parent, or a sibling trying to hold it together, this one gives you language you can use today. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s carrying it quietly, and leave a review with the boundary or tool that helped you most. Guest Info  “Loving Someone with a Mental Illness or History of Trauma: Skills, Hope, and Strength for Your Journey” (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2025)    “I’m Not Alone: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has a Mental Illness or History of Trauma” (2nd edition, 2024) - there are SO few resources for these teens!  Both books strive to build resilience by providing information, practical skills, and resources. They differ from other books as we merge facts and actionable strategies with reflection questions, activities, and stories from adults and teens with lived experience. You can see the Table of Contents, sample chapters, and other resources on our website.  Get the Journal https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/courses/CareKeeperJournal Join Our Group: Mental Health Resource Network: Mental Health Resource Network | CARE Coalition | Facebook   And become part of the Care Coalition: Serious Mental Illness Support | Care Coalition Homepage     On lIne Course https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/   Featured Books by Michael Saving Melissa: 7Cs to Cure the Mental Health System https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Melissa-Mental-Health-System/dp/0997421401/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qTdx0uEZUvp8BB4cVx5nFF3asxtsbS9tk4J8iW1JOBTWeuKmhJNwn1ScqH9mM_KM3GhLBDHRQXsx5jLZVo9mUg.HidshKcNsUtePdlJzX2rEGe_jlxKyVCQiPmtAcygZh0&dib_tag=se&keywords=michael+mackniak&qid=1777383637&sprefix=mackniak%2Caps%2C305&sr=8-4   Character: Become the Person Your Social Media “Friends” Already Think You Are https://www.amazon.com/Character-Become-Person-Friends-Already/dp/1790810612/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qTdx0uEZUvp8BB4cVx5nFF3asxtsbS9tk4J8iW1JOBTWeuKmhJNwn1ScqH9mM_KM3GhLBDHRQXsx5jLZVo9mUg.HidshKcNsUtePdlJzX2rEGe_jlxKyVCQiPmtAcygZh0&dib_tag=se&keywords=michael+mackniak&qid=1777383719&sprefix=mackniak%2Caps%2C305&sr=8-2   If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  5. Jun 25

    Caregiver Stress Reset with Alicia Feller

    Send us Fan Mail Your shoulders are up near your ears, your jaw is locked, and you are running on adrenaline again and calling it “fine.” If that sounds like caregiving life, you are not imagining it and you are not weak. I’m joined by Alicia Feller, LCSW and former Department of Mental Health executive, to get specific about the physical toll of caregiver stress and the smallest moves that can bring your nervous system back from the edge. We break down what chronic stress does to the body over time, why the fight flight freeze response keeps firing even when the “threat” is paperwork, phone calls, or constant uncertainty, and how modern overload from news, notifications, and social media keeps us stuck in survival mode. Alicia shares simple daily check-ins, a powerful rule for mornings (hint: your phone can wait), and breathwork strategies like box breathing that you can do in minutes, not hours. We also dig into practical tools that meet you where you are: mindfulness as five-senses awareness, mindful eating when you cannot find quiet, sensory grounding with music, and how aromatherapy and essential oils can support relaxation or energy. We talk gratitude journaling as a brain-training practice, why self-care is not selfish, and sleep hygiene basics like reducing blue light and building a calmer bedtime routine when your mind will not shut off. If you are carrying the mental load for someone you love, pick one tool and try it today. Subscribe, share this with a fellow caregiver, and leave a review so more people can find stress management help that actually fits real life.  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  6. Jun 18

    Make The Strawberry Bunny Then Eat It with Kathy Micheel

    Send us Fan Mail Caregiving can look heroic on the outside while you’re shaking behind the safety gate on the inside. We name that gap and get honest about the cost of trying to be endlessly patient, present, and “fine” while managing chronic illness, mental illness, appointments, meds, and the constant emotional load. For us, the real breakthrough is accepting a truth most caregivers were never taught: self-care is not self-indulgence, it’s the fuel that makes you competent, steady, and able to lead your family through chaos. I’m joined by coach Kathy Micheel, founder of Today Forward Consulting, whose approach blends health, life, business, and genealogy into one connected roadmap. We talk about building real bandwidth through the basics that actually move the needle: nutrition, Exercise, Water, Sunshine, and Sleep. Kathy shares a simple campfire metaphor for keeping your energy from crashing, plus practical ways to create “white space” and add small moments of fun when you feel like you have no time at all. We also touch on why baselines matter in healthcare, what your body is trying to tell you, and how tiny daily choices stack into better sleep and clearer thinking. Then we go somewhere unexpected: legacy. Kathy explains how family stories, meaningful photos, and shared meals can help caregivers remember who they are, not just what they do. We also explore when heritage turns into “head trash,” and how to keep what strengthens you while forging your own way forward. If you’re carrying a lot right now, this one is a reset for your mind, your body, and your sense of self. Subscribe, share this with a fellow caregiver, and leave a review with the one habit you’re ready to protect starting today. Todays Guest: Kathy Micheel To connect with Kathy and gain access to caregiver support tools, resources, and upcoming events, visit https://TodayForwardConsulting.com. As a special resource for listeners, her Holding It Together (Kinda) Podcast Bullet Point PDF is available at: https://TodayForwardConsulting.com/HoldingItTogetherKinda Kathy also hosts a Virtual Caregiver Retreat, designed to help you rest your mind, body, and soul, so you can reset, refocus, and step into your next season with intention.   Every 90 days, you will feel a shift.  If you’re ready to take your next step, schedule a complimentary 15-minute call at:  https://todayforwardconsulting.com/book-a-call Her mission is simple: to help you honor where you’ve been, embrace where you are, and confidently step into what’s next.    To go deeper into Kathy’s reflections and hear more in response to Michael’s questions, connect with Kathy at: https://TodayForwardConsulting.com/HoldingItTogetherKinda Get the Journal https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/courses/CareKeeperJournal Join Our Group: Mental Health Resource Network: Mental Health Resource Network | CARE Coalition | Facebook    And become part of the Care Colaition: Serious Mental Illness Support | Care Coalition Homepage        On lIne Course https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/   Featured Books by Michael Saving Melissa: 7Cs to Cure the Mental Health System  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  7. Jun 11

    Is This Mushroom Edible with Emerson Kerr

    Send us Fan Mail AI is everywhere right now, and the noise makes it easy to assume one of two extremes: either it saves healthcare or it destroys it. I sit down with Emerson Kerr, a longtime sleep medicine leader and C-suite executive at Nox Medical, to talk about a third path where AI supports clinicians and caregivers while the human touch stays in charge. We dig into what “precision medicine” can actually mean on the ground, how large datasets can surface patterns no person could realistically see, and why that should lead to better options rather than cookie cutter treatment protocols. We also get real about the risks: confirmation bias, bad training data, and automated decisions that remove the human check that patients still need. Emerson shares why advocacy matters when the system is rushed, including how sleep disordered breathing can look different in women and how that can change testing and care. Then we turn the lens to caregivers and sleep. We break down sleep architecture in plain language, why deep sleep supports physical recovery, why REM supports mental recovery, and why fragmented sleep can leave you wiped out even after “enough” hours. We connect sleep to mental health, including depression and PTSD, and explain why untreated sleep apnea is more than snoring, it can repeatedly trigger fight-or-flight stress through the night. We also cover home sleep testing, wearables, and emerging alternatives to CPAP so you can have a smarter conversation with your care team. If this helped you rethink AI, sleep, or caregiver burnout, subscribe, share the episode with someone caring for a loved one, and leave a review so more people can find it. What part of your sleep routine would you change first? Get the Journal https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/courses/CareKeeperJournal Join Our Group: Mental Health Resource Network: Mental Health Resource Network | CARE Coalition | Facebook    And become part of the Care Coalition: Serious Mental Illness Support | Care Coalition Homepage         On lIne Course https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/   Featured Books by Michael Saving Melissa: 7Cs to Cure the Mental Health System https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Melissa-Mental-Health-System/dp/0997421401/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qTdx0uEZUvp8BB4cVx5nFF3asxtsbS9tk4J8iW1JOBTWeuKmhJNwn1ScqH9mM_KM3GhLBDHRQXsx5jLZVo9mUg.HidshKcNsUtePdlJzX2rEGe_jlxKyVCQiPmtAcygZh0&dib_tag=se&keywords=michael+mackniak&qid=1777383637&sprefix=mackniak%2Caps%2C305&sr=8-4   Character: Become the Person Your Social Media “Friends” Already Think You Are https://www.amazon.com/Character-Become-Person-Friends-Already/dp/1790810612/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qTdx0uEZUvp8BB4cVx5nFF3asxtsbS9tk4J8iW1JOBTWeuKmhJNwn1ScqH9mM_KM3GhLBDHRQXsx5jLZVo9mUg.HidshKcNsUtePdlJzX2rEGe_  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

  8. Jun 4

    Why Your Brain Wants Jelly Beans with Dr Matthew Galati

    Send us Fan Mail Your brain is not a fixed object, and neither is your future. I sit down with Dr. Matthew Galati, a family medicine and rehab physician who also survived a severe traumatic brain injury after a brutal car crash. He spent days in a coma, woke up unable to talk or walk, and had to relearn basic skills from the ground up. Then he did the thing the “experts” warned might never happen: he returned to medicine, finished his MD, and turned his recovery into a framework that helps other survivors and caregivers find real traction. We get specific about what traumatic brain injury recovery feels like in everyday life, especially the symptom families often miss: cognitive fatigue. We talk pacing, preemptive rest, and why the brain can burn through energy on tasks that used to be automatic. We also dig into mindset and hope as the foundation for resilience, plus the importance of listening to the patient experience when medicine only sees a short snapshot. From there, we break down neuroplasticity in plain English, including neurogenesis and the role of aerobic exercise and BDNF. Matthew walks me through the Brain Changes Initiative “six pillars of brain health” that support brain recovery and long-term cognitive health: exercise, cognitive stimulation through new learning, brain-healthy nutrition, sleep hygiene, limiting harmful exposures (from alcohol to pesticide residue), and mindfulness meditation and stress management. If you’re a caregiver living with a new normal, you’ll leave with clear ideas you can try and a better way to understand what’s happening inside the healing brain. Subscribe for more conversations like this, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more caregivers and survivors can find us. What’s one small brain-healthy change you’re willing to start this week? Get the Journal https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/courses/CareKeeperJournal Join Our Group: Mental Health Resource Network: Mental Health Resource Network | CARE Coalition | Facebook    And become part of the Care Coalition: Serious Mental Illness Support | Care Coalition Homepage         On lIne Course https://guardian-academy.thinkific.com/   Featured Books by Michael Saving Melissa: 7Cs to Cure the Mental Health System https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Melissa-Mental-Health-System/dp/0997421401/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qTdx0uEZUvp8BB4cVx5nFF3asxtsbS9tk4J8iW1JOBTWeuKmhJNwn1ScqH9mM_KM3GhLBDHRQXsx5jLZVo9mUg.HidshKcNsUtePdlJzX2rEGe_jlxKyVCQiPmtAcygZh0&dib_tag=se&keywords=michael+mackniak&qid=1777383637&sprefix=mackniak%2Caps%2C305&sr=8-4   Character: Become the Person Your Social Media “Friends” Already Think You Are https://www.amazon.com/Character-Become-Person-Friends-Already/dp/1790810612/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2M5UMT3SGX4F2&dib=eyJ2Ijo  If Holding It Together has encouraged or helped you, consider supporting the mission. Every coffee helps us continue providing peer support and resources. ❤️ https://buymeacoffee.com/carecoalition

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Here we will get real in our conversations about Mental Illness and Caregiving, and the messy reality of keeping it all balanced.    No sugar-coating, no clinical jargon—just real talk about the hospitalizations, the medication battles, and the toll it takes on a home   This is for the parents, siblings, and partners who are doing the impossible every single day.  Holding It Together is a home for the overthinkers, the multitaskers, and anyone who feels like they’re one spilled coffee away from a meltdown. 

Information

  • Creator
    Michael Mackniak, Esq
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Holding It Together (Kinda)
  • Show Website
    Holding It Together (Kinda)

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