Three senior executives get honest about what it costs to lead as yourself when the role keeps asking for someone else, and why people stop telling you the truth the higher you go. The CMO of Clicks Group, the CEO of Business Banking at Absa Group, and the Chief of Strategy and Business Transformation at Cell C get into the boss who told one of them to lose the makeup, the 2am weight of a restructure you can't talk about, and how to adjust your tone without giving up your truth. WATCH THE FULL CONVERSATION ON YOUTUBE:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsmCPeuif7I The PEAK Practice is Gilan's three-week programme for high performers who want their wisest response to arrive while they're still in the room, instead of arriving late, on the drive home. Put your name on the list to hear first when the next cohort opens: https://www.peakawake.com GUESTS: Melanie Van Rooy, former chief marketing officer at Clicks Group, the health and beauty retailer. A PhD earned early put her in a senior role ahead of people 8 or 9 years older, and she has left 3 jobs over a clash of values. Rachael Ayo-Oladejo, chief of strategy and business transformation at Cell C. Early in her career she was one of 30 project managers, and chose the projects nobody else wanted. Faisal Mkhize, CEO of business banking at Absa Group. More than two decades in banking, leading divisions across Africa and steering teams through mergers and restructures. THEY EXPLAIN: ◼ Why people stop telling you the truth as you rise, and how to build a circle that holds up a mirror◼ How to adjust your tone without giving up your truth◼ What to say when a restructure is coming and you can't share everything yet◼ How to play office politics without stepping on anyone◼ Why the role doesn't define you, and what can't be taken away CHAPTERS: (00:00) - Episode trailer (01:19) - Welcome to Leading Awake (04:36) - The PEAK Practice (05:48) - Ask a child to draw a leader (08:17) - Imposter syndrome, right to the top (12:07) - You don't have to be someone else to be heard (15:33) - What authenticity is (and what it isn't) (17:11) - Told to lose the makeup to be taken seriously (19:33) - Leaving 3 jobs over a values clash (24:21) - When executives change who they are for the boss (28:45) - The role is here today. Tomorrow it might be gone. (30:45) - Why people stop telling the boss the truth (31:37) - 2am, knowing a restructure is coming (33:55) - Real isn't always good news (35:45) - The PEAK Practice (mid-episode) (37:26) - When to show your team your uncertainty (39:10) - Honesty with boundaries (41:06) - The day Mel slammed her fist on the table (46:36) - Can politics and authenticity share a room? (47:58) - 17 executives, and only 3 would be CEO (52:44) - Visibility as currency: one of 30 project managers (55:11) - Persuasion is a surgeon's knife (56:25) - The double bind women leaders face (57:22) - Why Mel wears red lipstick to the boardroom (59:51) - New job in April, divorced by May (01:06:19) - No poker face (and the iPad tell) (01:08:00) - Faisal's last word: the world needs both (01:09:37) - Closing reflections + PEAK Practice ABOUT LEADING AWAKE:Leading Awake is a podcast for senior leaders who want to see clearly under pressure and respond wisely in the moments that count. Each episode is an honest, unscripted conversation with leaders willing to drop the mask. Host Gilan Gork started as a professional mentalist working with the human mind on stages across more than 40 countries, including Fortune 500 companies, governments, and NATO. That work pulled him deeper into the inner game of leadership, and into the body of work that became PeakAwake. THE PEAK PRACTICE: When the pressure is on, your perception narrows, exactly when you need it widest. Timothy Gallwey wrote the formula 50 years ago and it still holds. Performance equals potential minus interference. You already have the ability. It's the noise that pressure and complexity stir up that gets in the way, and clearing some of it lets more of the ability you already have show up in crucial moments, while it still counts. The PEAK Practice is three weeks of putting in the reps, so the next difficult moment meets a version of you that's already practised for it. You practise on 14 days across the three weeks, about 15 minutes each time, eyes closed in the app, working on a real situation of your own rather than a case study. You also meet Gilan and your cohort live online 4 times, 90 minutes each. The cohort is 6 to 8 leaders, curated, each carrying real responsibility. Since 2020, more than 1,000 people have trained these skills with Gilan, in an earlier version of this work. Waitlist members get a preferential rate, with no payment or commitment: https://www.peakawake.com IF THIS CONVERSATION LANDS WITH YOU: Follow Leading Awake on your podcast app so you don't miss the next conversation. And if you have a moment, please leave a rating or a review. It sounds like a small thing, but it's the most useful way to help platforms recommend the show to other senior leaders. If you know a leader who'd recognise themselves in this episode (the one who reshapes themselves for every new boss, or who suspects their team only brings them the good news) share it with them.