Permission to Show Up

Kara De Kretser
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Exhausted, always saying yes and wondering what happened to your confidence? Sounds like you are a busy working Mum who has been so busy holding everything together for everyone else that you stopped showing up for yourself. Every week in under 15 mins, Women's Life and Confidence Coach and former UN professional Kara De Kretser gives you one honest, practical insight to stop doubting yourself, silence that inner critic and finally feel like yourself again. No woo woo or vague advice. Just the conversation that makes you think finally someone gets it. Your permission to show up starts now.

  1. 4d ago

    19. How To Stay Calm At Work When Retrenchment Culture Is Everywhere

    If you've felt on edge at work lately, even if your own job is actually fine right now, this episode is for you. You are not overreacting. In this one, I get into why our nervous systems struggle to stay calm when layoff anxiety is everywhere, using Maslow's hierarchy of needs to explain what's really going on underneath it. Spoiler: it's not really about work at all. I talk about: Why safety sits right at the foundation of everything else, confidence, decision-making, even how we show up in our relationshipsWhy this quiet anxiety can show up as snapping at your husband, struggling to decide what's for dinner, or imposter syndrome suddenly feeling louder than usualTwo small, gentle tools to help bring your nervous system back to calm, even amid real uncertainty If you've been feeling off lately, be gentle with yourself. You're not broken, and you're not alone in this. 🤍

    19. How To Stay Calm At Work When Retrenchment Culture Is Everywhere

  2. Aug 10

    18. Why You're Avoiding The Other Mums At The School Gate (And What It Actually Means)

    The school gate isn't about saying goodbye to your kids. For so many of us, it's actually one of the hardest moments of the day. That "How are you? I'm fine!" or "I'm just SO busy!" exchange? It's more loaded than it looks. In this episode, I'm talking honestly about why so many mums have started quietly avoiding the school gate lately, and what it actually means when we do. This isn't about you being unfriendly or antisocial. There's something much gentler, and much more real, going on underneath. If you've ever found yourself hanging back by the car a little longer than you needed to, this one's for you. 🤍

    18. Why You're Avoiding The Other Mums At The School Gate (And What It Actually Means)

  3. Aug 3

    17. Why Doctors Telling You To "Just Rest" Is Actually Dangerous

    "Just rest." That's the advice. I got it from doctors in three different countries. Neurologists. Mental health professionals. Male, female, didn't matter. All landing on the same line. I found an old journal entry today, from seven years ago, the height of my nocturnal seizures, completely undiagnosed, and reading it back hit me harder than I expected. Because here's what nobody tells you. "Just rest" doesn't give a high-achieving woman anything to actually DO. It just hands her one more thing to fail at. And for a recovering perfectionist like me? I turned rest into a project. Naturopaths. Acupuncture. A Zen temple. Yoga nidra. I tried everything. Nothing worked. And the more I was told to rest, the more it turned into pure self-hatred, because I was failing at the one thing every doctor agreed I needed. In this episode I'm sharing that story honestly, where it actually went, and why "just rest" without a plan can be genuinely dangerous advice for a burnt-out woman. I also talk about what actually works. Not vague rest. A structured Blueprint, the same one I use with my clients now, to gently take things off your shoulders and let your body actually come out of fight-or-flight. Plus, one small first step you can take today if you've ever been told to "just rest" and had no idea how. If this is you, you don't need more rest. You need a plan. Come find me after on Instagram @karadekretser, I'd love to hear what landed for you.

    17. Why Doctors Telling You To "Just Rest" Is Actually Dangerous

  4. Jul 27

    16. Feeling Frustrated Because You’re Doing It All? Let’s Change That!

    You are SO tired of being the one who remembers everything. The one who just does it herself because explaining it to someone else feels like MORE work than just doing it. Sound familiar? In this episode I'm digging into something so many of us high-achieving, busy mums live with every single day. The frustration of feeling like you have to do it ALL. Alone. Here's what I want you to really sit with though. It's not actually a time problem. It's a CONTROL problem. And underneath that? It's a TRUST problem. In this episode I talk about: Why doing it yourself feels safer, and what it's actually teaching our kids about asking for helpHow to practice delegating in small doses, so your brain can slowly learn it's SAFE to let goAnd the big one. Why deep down, so many of us don't fully trust ourselves to even know where to look for help in the first place This one's a bit of an aha moment for me too honestly. Because once you see it, you can't unsee it. If you're ready to stop carrying it all by yourself, this episode is for you. Come say hi after on Instagram @karadekretser, I'd love to know what landed for you!

    16. Feeling Frustrated Because You’re Doing It All? Let’s Change That!

  5. Jul 21

    15. The Actual Thing Every Busy Mum Needs, To Finally Hear Herself Think

    The actual thing every busy mum needs to finally hear herself think If you're a busy mum and you can't remember the last time you heard your OWN voice clearly, this one's for you. Recorded live from Ubud, I'm talking about why you can't find clarity inside the same four walls where you lost it. Sometimes the noise of the day to day (the school run, the inbox, the never-ending to-do list) makes it impossible to work out your next right step, not because you're not capable, but because there's simply no space between the question and the noise. In this episode I share: Why staying "busy and handling it" is often the very thing keeping you stuckWhat I felt here in Bali standing in the energy of Kali, the Goddess of transformation, and why it's not about soft and soothing, it's about clearing away what isn't yours anymoreWhy getting away, even for a day, even for an hour, can bring you back to yourself faster than any amount of thinking harder ever willWhat it's really looked like for the women who've joined me on retreat, and how this could be you too You don't need to fly to Bali to prove this to yourself. You just need space. This episode is your reminder that it's allowed. If this lands, come say hi on Instagram @karadekretser and DM me LET'S GO if you're ready to talk about what YOU need to come home to yourself.

    15. The Actual Thing Every Busy Mum Needs, To Finally Hear Herself Think

  6. Jul 13

    14. Do You Struggle to Invest in Yourself Without the Inner Critic Talking You Out of It?

    A man in a temple gave me a blessing and then wrote the age I'll die on my hand this week. It sent me straight back to a question most of us avoid: if you knew your time was limited, what would you stop postponing? In this episode, I'm unpacking the voice that shows up every single time you get close to investing in yourself, whether that's a course, a coach, a retreat, or just an hour that belongs to no one but you. I break down the three disguises the inner critic uses to sound like logic instead of fear, share the exact moment I almost talked myself out of investing in my own growth, and give you one practical question to ask yourself the next time that voice shows up. If you're a mum who keeps saying "one day" to your own goals, this episode is for you. DM me LET'S GO if you feel this too and you're ready to talk, or head to the link in bio to join the mailing list, my next retreat is launching soon and you won't want to miss it.

    14. Do You Struggle to Invest in Yourself Without the Inner Critic Talking You Out of It?

  7. Jul 6

    13. You say you don’t have time... I think the issue is this.

    You say you don't have time to work on yourself. I want to challenge that. You have time. What you don't have is a boundary. And that is a very different problem with a very different solution. In this episode Kara challenges one of the most common things she hears from busy working Mums, that they just need to find more time. She does not accept that. Because time management is not what is missing. Permission is. And permission is a boundaries problem, not a calendar problem. This episode is direct, practical, and probably the conversation you have been avoiding. In this episode: Why "I just need to find time" is keeping you stuck in a loop that never endsWhat women actually mean when they say they have no time, and what is really going onThe inherited belief that a good mother is always available, and what it is costing youWhy guilt shows up the moment you try to protect one hour for yourselfThe difference between a boundary and a wall, and why women confuse the twoReal examples of what boundaries look like in a mother's week, specific, not vagueThe difference between harshness and clarity when it comes to protecting your timeWhat your children are actually watching when you model availability without limitsThe question that changes everything:Stop asking how do I find time. Start asking what am I no longer available for. Your one thing this week:Identify one hour, twice this week, that belongs entirely to your work or your growth. Put it in the calendar like a client meeting you cannot cancel. When someone asks for that time, the answer is simply: I am not available then. That is it. No over-explaining. No guilt spiral. Just clarity. If this episode landed for you, DM me on Instagram. I want to know what boundary you are finally ready to protect. Find me at @karadekretser or www.karadekretser.com. New episodes every Tuesday. And if this podcast is adding something to your life, a two-minute review on Apple or Spotify helps Permission to Show Up reach the women who need it most.

    13. You say you don’t have time... I think the issue is this.

  8. Jun 29

    12. Why thinking “I Should Be Grateful” Is Quietly Stopping You From Dreaming Bigger

    Have you ever caught yourself wanting something more, and then talked yourself out of it almost immediately with this thought: I should be grateful for what I have. And just like that, the dream goes back in the box. If that landed, this episode is for you. In this episode Kara shares something deeply personal. She is recording from Sri Lanka, where her father grew up, and being here has brought up something she has never spoken about publicly before. The specific kind of guilt that comes with being a first-generation Australian. The daughter of a Sri Lankan father and an Italian mother who gave up everything, a language, a community, a familiar world, so she could have more. Kara became a lawyer. Then spent 12 years at the United Nations. Impressive by any measure. The kind of career that made the sacrifice look worth it. And then she left to become a Women's Life and Confidence Coach. A title her father's friends in Sri Lanka have absolutely no framework for. This episode is for the woman who is using gratitude as a reason not to want more. The woman who looks at her comfortable life and thinks who am I to complain. The woman who has achieved everything she was supposed to achieve and still feels like something is missing, but cannot say that out loud because it would sound ungrateful. You are not ungrateful. You are unfulfilled. And those are two completely different things. In this episode: Why first-generation women carry a specific kind of guilt that nobody talks aboutHow gratitude becomes a silencer without us even realising itThe paradox of honouring your parents' sacrifice versus actually living your own lifeWhat your parents really wanted when they gave up everythingWhy unfulfilled is not a character flaw. It is information.Your one thing this week: Write down one dream you have never said out loud because it felt ungrateful or selfish or impossible to explain to your family. Just write it. You do not have to do anything with it yet. But she deserves to exist on paper. Your parents did not risk everything so you could spend your life playing small. They risked everything so you could be free. Use it.

    12. Why thinking “I Should Be Grateful” Is Quietly Stopping You From Dreaming Bigger
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About

Exhausted, always saying yes and wondering what happened to your confidence? Sounds like you are a busy working Mum who has been so busy holding everything together for everyone else that you stopped showing up for yourself. Every week in under 15 mins, Women's Life and Confidence Coach and former UN professional Kara De Kretser gives you one honest, practical insight to stop doubting yourself, silence that inner critic and finally feel like yourself again. No woo woo or vague advice. Just the conversation that makes you think finally someone gets it. Your permission to show up starts now.

Information

  • Creator
    Kara De Kretser
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Kara De Kretser
  • Show Website
    Permission to Show Up