She's Not Done

Kouelee & Andrea

SHE'S NOT DONE is the place where difficult conversations begin. It is the podcast for the woman who is rebuilding her life while still showing up for everyone else. Hosted by Andrea and Kouelee, two mothers of two navigating different chapters (one married, one divorced) - this show dives into real conversations about motherhood, identity shifts, healing, ambition, and rebuilding when life doesn't look how you planned. No pretending. No sugarcoating. Just honest conversations for women in their "figure it out" era. If you have ever felt behind, overwhelmed, or like you're quietly starting over...you're not broken - and you're definitely not done. If this resonated with you, then this is for you.  New episodes weekly.

  1. 3d ago ·  Video

    Are We Spending Too Much Money on Our Kids?

    Are we spending too much money on our kids… or is raising kids today simply more expensive? Between sports, activities, school spirit days, clothes, Starbucks, Dunkin, DoorDash, Amazon, birthday gifts and all the little purchases that somehow become normal, the money adds up FAST. But this conversation isn't only about how much we're spending. It's about what our spending is teaching our kids. In this episode of She’s Not Done, Andrea and Kouelee talk about the difference between necessities and wants, how convenience has completely changed the way our kids think about buying things, and why constantly saying yes might make it harder for kids to understand money later. They also get into something deeper: Are we sometimes buying our kids the childhood we wish we'd had? Kouelee shares how growing up with very few clothes has influenced what she buys for her daughters today, while Andrea realizes that guilt over her younger daughter receiving hand-me-downs may have caused her to say yes more often. They also discuss allowances, activities, working-mom guilt, takeout, school theme days, teaching kids to budget, and one simple rule that might change everything: If you need it, I'll buy it. If you want it, it comes out of your money. Because maybe the goal isn't to stop giving our kids things. Maybe it's teaching them that having access to something doesn't mean you automatically need it. 🎙️ She’s Not Done — The place where difficult conversations begin. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Are We Spending Too Much on Our Kids? 02:30 Activities, Clothes & Where the Money Goes 05:00 DoorDash, Takeout & Paying for Convenience 08:00 Our Kids Have Grown Up With Instant Everything 10:30 How Many Activities Are Too Many? 14:00 Are We Overscheduling Our Kids? 16:30 School Spirit Days & the Pressure to Buy More 19:00 Teaching Kids That “No” Is Okay 21:30 Should Kids Pay for Their Own Extras? 24:00 When Should We Start Teaching Kids About Money? 26:30 Would Giving Kids an Allowance Actually Save Us Money? 29:00 The Small Purchases That Add Up FAST 31:00 Need vs. Want: Who Should Pay? 33:00 Are We Healing Our Childhoods Through Our Kids? 35:30 Does Working Make Us Spend More? 37:00 Allowances, Saving & Teaching Kids to Give Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  2. Sep 29 ·  Video

    Would You Choose Motherhood Again If You Knew What You Know Now?

    If you could go back to the moment before you became a mother—knowing everything you know now—would you still choose motherhood? For both of us, the answer is yes. But that doesn't mean we'd choose to do everything the same way. In this episode of She’s Not Done, we have an honest conversation about the parts of motherhood nobody can fully prepare you for: losing pieces of yourself, the mental load that never seems to shut off, the pressure to be an “amazing mom,” the moments we wish we'd slowed down for, and the conversations we wish we'd had with our partners before having children. Andrea shares why motherhood has always felt natural to her—even through the difficult parts—while Kouelee opens up about feeling blindsided by the identity shift of becoming a mom and realizing she couldn't be the version of motherhood she had pictured in her head. We also talk about being a “three-hour mom,” working motherhood versus staying home, how differently we're raising our children from the way we were raised, and why being present doesn't have to mean playing babies on the floor for ten hours a day. Then the conversation takes an unexpected turn: Is Kouelee actually done having babies? 👀 And underneath all of it is a complicated truth we don't talk about enough: You can love your children more than anything and still miss who you were before them. You can find motherhood incredibly hard and still choose it all over again. And someone can even regret becoming a parent while deeply loving the children they have. So if you knew about the exhaustion, the worry, the identity shift, the mental load, the guilt—and just how quickly it would all go... Would you still choose motherhood? TIMESTAMPS00:00 Would We Choose Motherhood Again? 02:30 The Good, Bad & Ugly of Becoming a Mom 05:00 What We Wish We Knew Before Kids 07:30 Conversations Couples Should Have Before Children 10:00 Parenting Differently Than Our Parents 12:30 Breaking Generational Patterns 15:00 Do We Want Our Kids to Be Better Than Us? 17:00 Motherhood, Marriage or Divorce: Where Did You Lose Yourself? 20:00 “I'm a Three-Hour Mom” 22:30 The Pressure to Be an Amazing Mother 24:30 Why Moms and Dads Parent Differently 26:00 Is Kouelee Done Having Kids? 👀 29:00 What Do You Miss About Life Before Motherhood? 31:00 The Mental Load Never Really Ends 33:00 Missing the Moments You Were Too Busy to Enjoy 35:00 Why Motherhood Goes So Fast 36:00 Can You Regret Motherhood and Still Love Your Kids? Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  3. Sep 22 ·  Video

    Are We Too Quick to Tell Women to Get Divorced?

    “Girl, leave him.” It might be one of the easiest pieces of relationship advice to give—especially online. But are we actually encouraging women to walk away from their marriages too quickly? In this episode of She’s Not Done, Kouelee and Andrea look at the question from two very different perspectives: one woman who is still married and one who has been through divorce. Maybe women aren't leaving too quickly. Maybe women are simply more financially independent, more informed, and less willing to tolerate behaviors previous generations were expected to accept. But that doesn't mean divorce should be the first answer either. They talk about why neither of them feels comfortable telling another woman to leave her husband, the importance of having the hard conversations before walking away, and why Andrea believes that—outside of abusive situations—you should know you've tried every avenue so that if you do leave, you know you tried. They also get into the influence of divorced friends, why someone else's divorce can force you to examine your own marriage, staying together “for the kids,” cheating, the disappearing shame around divorce, and why social media can make enormous relationship decisions look incredibly simple. Because we're often judging someone's entire marriage from five minutes of their life online. And maybe the bigger question isn't whether we're getting divorced too quickly. Maybe it's whether we're getting married too quickly—and having the important conversations too late. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Are We Telling Women to Leave Too Quickly? 02:30 Women Aren’t Tolerating the Same Things 05:00 Have You Tried Everything? 07:30 Marriage Takes Work 09:30 Does Divorce Influence Your Friends? 12:00 Trust, Girls Trips & Guys Trips 14:30 Staying Together for the Kids 17:00 What Does “You Deserve Better” Mean? 20:00 Removing the Shame From Divorce 22:00 Social Media Says “Just Leave Him” 24:30 We’re Judging Five Minutes of a Marriage 26:00 Would We Give Men the Same Advice? 28:00 Are We Actually Getting Married Too Quickly? 29:30 Final Thoughts Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  4. Sep 15 ·  Video

    Married Single Mom: When You’re Married but Doing It All Alone

    What does it mean to feel like a single mom when you're still married? In this episode of She’s Not Done, Kouelee and Andrea unpack the term “married single mom” and the complicated reality behind it. Kouelee shares that even in her marriage today, there are times when she's handling the kids alone because of her husband's work schedule. But she also remembers a very different period in her marriage—one filled with resentment because she felt like she had signed up for a partnership and wasn't getting one. Andrea looks back on her own marriage and remembers being married on paper while handling much of life alone: parenting, decisions, functions, holidays and everyday responsibilities. Eventually, that loneliness led to a painful realization: “If I'm already doing everything alone, I may as well be alone.” But does having to parent alone sometimes actually make someone a “married single mom”? And is using the term unfair to women who are truly single parents? They discuss the difference between a partner who can't be there because of work or circumstances and a partner who repeatedly chooses not to show up. They also talk about expectations, resentment, the mental load, broken promises and what happens when you've communicated your needs over and over but nothing changes. The conversation then goes deeper into what years of doing everything yourself can do to you—even after the relationship changes. Andrea shares how difficult it has become to trust that someone else will actually follow through, while Kouelee talks about how her own marriage has improved through communication, accountability and both partners being willing to change. Because a healthy marriage isn't one without problems. It's one where both people are willing to do something about them. And sometimes the loneliest place isn't actually being alone. It's feeling alone while someone is sitting right beside you. 00:00 What Is a Married Single Mom? 02:30 Married but Feeling Alone 05:00 “I May as Well Be Alone” 07:30 Parenting Alone vs. No Partnership 10:00 Is Marriage Supposed to Be Hard? 12:30 What Makes a Marriage Healthy? 15:00 Communication & Conflict 17:30 When Your Partner Actually Listens 20:00 “I’ll Just Do It Myself” 22:00 Trust After Being Let Down 24:00 Dads Aren’t “Helping” 26:00 When Work Affects the Partnership 28:00 When Feeling Alone Becomes a Warning Sign 29:30 You’re Not Alone Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  5. Sep 8 ·  Video

    Marriage & Money: Could You Afford to Leave?

    What happens when love and money become impossible to separate? In this episode of She’s Not Done, Kouelee and Andrea revisit financial independence—this time through the lens of marriage, motherhood, divorce, and the decisions we often don’t think about until life forces us to. Andrea shares what she wishes she had done differently financially while staying home to raise her daughters, including setting aside money of her own and understanding the long-term cost of stepping away from a career. She also opens up about a harder truth: finances played a role in keeping her in an unhappy marriage longer than she otherwise might have stayed. But how do you tell your spouse, “I want money set aside in case something happens to us,” without making it sound like you’re preparing for divorce? The conversation turns to why financial education should happen before marriage, what couples should disclose about debt and income, financial security for stay-at-home parents, retirement planning, joint versus individual money, home ownership, prenups, and why every partner should understand what is happening financially in their household. They also discuss an important distinction: financial independence isn't about expecting your marriage to fail. It can give you the freedom to know you're staying because you genuinely want to—not because you couldn't financially survive if you left. Because nobody gets married expecting a divorce. But “that will never happen to us” isn't a financial plan. 00:00 Marriage & Remarriage 04:10 What Andrea Would Change 07:00 Should You Have Your Own Money? 09:30 The Stay-at-Home Mom Career Gap 12:15 Child Support & Financial Independence 14:15 Financial Education Before Marriage 17:15 What If Your Partner Has $100K in Debt? 20:00 Know Your Household Finances 23:00 Staying Because You Can’t Afford to Leave 26:15 Can You Ever Close the Career Gap? 28:45 Money, Divorce & Resentment 31:00 What We Want Our Daughters to Know 34:00 When You Always Put Yourself Last 36:15 Financial Freedom in Marriage 38:15 Prenups & Retirement 40:15 Start With $10 41:30 Final Thoughts Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  6. Sep 1 ·  Video

    Are You Happy… or Do You Just Look Happy? | Keeping Up Appearances

    How much of what we do is actually for ourselves—and how much is because someone else might be watching? In this episode of She’s Not Done, we’re talking about keeping up appearances: the homes we live in, the cars we drive, the way we dress, our careers, our bodies, our marriages, and especially the lives we show online. We get into the difference between genuinely wanting nice things and needing those things to prove something to other people. Is buying the bigger house or luxury car something you truly want—or is ego quietly making the decision for you? And if everything disappeared tomorrow, would you still know who you are? We also talk about how exhausting it can be to maintain a lifestyle once you’ve created it, why looking successful isn’t the same as feeling fulfilled, and how getting older—and becoming mothers—has changed how much we care about other people’s opinions. Then we get into social media and the comparison trap. We see someone’s marriage, home, body, career or following and compare it to our own without ever seeing the years it took them to get there—or what might actually be happening behind closed doors. And when it comes to our daughters, that conversation becomes even bigger. How do we raise girls who feel good enough when they’re growing up surrounded by filtered faces, perfect pictures and lives designed to look effortless? Maybe keeping up appearances isn’t always about impressing other people. Sometimes we’re simply trying to live up to the expectations we’ve created for ourselves. Because at the end of the day, the question isn’t whether your life looks good. Does it feel good to you? TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Are We All Keeping Up Appearances? What “keeping up appearances” actually means and the different ways we all do it. 02:15 — When You Stop Trying to Please Everyone Why age and life experience can change how much we care about other people’s opinions. 04:30 — The Luxury Car vs. the Smart Financial Decision When ego enters our financial decisions and the hidden cost of buying something because of how it looks. 07:00 — Looking Successful vs. Feeling Fulfilled Why appearing successful from the outside doesn’t necessarily mean you’re happy with the life you’re living. 09:15 — Knowing Your Worth Without Needing Recognition Career success, working your way up, and being proud of what you’ve accomplished without needing outside validation. 11:30 — Do We Want Nice Things for Ourselves—or for Other People? Big houses, clothes, luxury and the difference between genuinely enjoying something and using it to prove your worth. 14:00 — “I’d Give Up This House for a Two-Bedroom Apartment” Why having nice things doesn’t have to define you—and the difference between ego, gratitude and knowing you could start over. 16:30 — The Comparison Trap Why seeing someone else’s success can make us feel behind when we have no idea how long it took them to get there. 18:30 — Nothing Is an Overnight Success Comparing your beginning to someone else’s established success and forgetting the timeline behind what you see. 20:15 — Social Media Is Designed for the Fantasy Why we post vacations and family pictures—but rarely show the marriage falling apart behind the scenes. 22:30 — Being the Same Person Online and Offline How exhausting it becomes when your online identity doesn’t match who you actually are. 24:30 — Is Social Media Making Us More Unhappy? The positive side of social media versus comparison, mental health and the pressure to look perfect. 27:00 — Raising Girls in the Age of Filters What happens when young girls grow up believing every picture needs to be perfect before it deserves to be posted. 29:45 — Maybe We’re Keeping Up With Ourselves Clean homes, personal standards and recognizing that not everything we do is about impressing someone else. 32:00 — Motherhood Changed What We’re Willing to Tolerate How having children changes your perspective on boundaries, respect and the example you want to set for your daughters. 33:30 — Who Are You Really Doing It For? Final thoughts on authenticity, appearances and creating a life that actually feels like yours. Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  7. Aug 25 ·  Video

    Co-Sleeping With Kids: Are We Creating Bad Habits or Building Security?

    Co-sleeping might be one of those parenting topics everyone seems to have an opinion about—but what happens when you stop listening to everyone else and start asking what actually works for your family? In this episode of She’s Not Done, we’re talking honestly about our very different experiences with co-sleeping, bed-sharing, sleep training, breastfeeding, and eventually transitioning our kids into their own beds. We look back at the expectations we had before becoming moms—from decorating the perfect nursery to assuming our babies would simply sleep in their cribs—and how quickly those plans changed once our children actually arrived. We also get into the deeper side of co-sleeping that doesn't get talked about nearly enough: how our own childhood experiences influence the comfort we want to give our kids, whether comforting children makes them less independent, and why sometimes the parent may need the closeness just as much as the child does. Kouelee shares how co-sleeping became more complicated during a difficult period in her marriage—and the realization that having her daughter in the bed wasn't only providing comfort to her child. It was also creating a barrier between her and her husband during a time when their marriage was struggling. Andrea shares how co-sleeping changed during separation and divorce, when her daughters needed additional reassurance and security while adjusting to two homes. We also talk about trying the cry-it-out method because of outside pressure, the guilt that can come with parenting two children differently, transitioning kids out of the family bed, and realizing that sometimes children are far more ready for the next stage than their parents are. Ultimately, this isn't an episode about telling parents whether they should or shouldn't co-sleep. It's about letting go of the idea that there is one right way to parent—and recognizing the difference between educating parents about their choices and shaming them for making them. Because whether they're sleeping in your bed, their bed, or crawling into yours after a nightmare, maybe what matters most is that our kids know they are safe, loved, welcome and protected. 00:00 – The Co-Sleeping Debate Why co-sleeping became part of both of our motherhood stories. 03:15 – The Nursery vs. Reality Preparing the perfect nursery—and then realizing your newborn doesn't necessarily want to sleep there. 06:30 – Choosing Sleep Over Everyone Else's Opinions When what works for your baby becomes more important than what other people think. 09:15 – “Co-Sleeping Will Ruin Your Marriage” Sex, intimacy and the warnings parents hear about letting children into their beds. 12:00 – Two Kids, Two Completely Different Sleep Experiences Why one child loved co-sleeping while another was perfectly content sleeping independently. 15:15 – Do We Need the Closeness More Than Our Kids? Mom guilt, comfort and realizing that sometimes letting go is harder for us. 18:00 – When Co-Sleeping Became a Barrier in Marriage A brutally honest conversation about using the family bed as comfort during a difficult season in a relationship. 21:00 – Cry It Out & Parenting Pressure Trying sleep training because other people said we should—and realizing it wasn't right for us. 24:00 – Trusting That They'll Eventually Be Ready Why independence doesn't always have to be forced. 27:00 – How Our Childhood Shapes Our Parenting The comfort we didn't receive as children and how those experiences show up in the parents we've become. 30:00 – Breastfeeding, Pacifiers & Mom Guilt Why every transition can feel enormous to Mom—even when our kids handle it better than expected. 33:30 – Bedtime Routines & Laying With Our Kids Do we really need to teach them to fall asleep without us—or are we rushing something that's incredibly short-lived? 36:30 – Stop Shaming Parents. Start Educating Them. Why fear and judgment aren't the same thing as giving parents information. 39:00 – Whatever Works for Your Family Our final thoughts on co-sleeping, independence, security and letting families make their own choices. Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

  8. Aug 18 ·  Video

    Are We Parenting Our Kids… or Trying to Be Liked by Them?

    Are parents today too afraid of being disliked by their kids? In this episode, we talk about the uncomfortable side of modern parenting: the pressure to keep our kids happy, the guilt that makes us say yes when we really want to say no, and why being a good parent sometimes means being okay with your child being mad at you. We get into the difference between wanting a close relationship with your children and trying to be their friend, why consistency actually makes kids feel safer, and what happens when “no” slowly turns into “fine.” Andrea opens up about how divorce guilt affected the way she parented, while Coley shares why one of her biggest fears isn’t her daughters disliking her today—it’s wondering whether togetherness will still matter to them when they’re grown. We also talk about social media, taking away TikTok and YouTube, parent guilt, emotional validation, apologizing when we get it wrong, and the reality that we’re parenting ages and situations we’ve never experienced before. At the end of the day, maybe the goal isn’t to raise children who are always happy with us. Maybe it’s to raise capable adults who know they were loved enough for us to say no. Timestamps  00:00 Are parents too afraid of being disliked by their kids? 02:30 The fear that your kids won’t want a relationship with you when they’re older 05:30 “You can dislike me”—why parenting isn’t about being their friend 08:15 Divorce guilt and saying yes to make up for what kids have lost 11:00 Can parents accidentally try to buy connection with their kids? 14:00 Giving kids emotional safety without validating absolutely everything 17:00 Breaking generational parenting patterns 19:45 Taking away TikTok, YouTube and holding boundaries they hate 22:30 Parents make mistakes too: apologizing and asking your kids for grace 25:00 Happy children vs. capable adults 28:00 Why consistency matters—and what happens when “no” becomes “fine” 31:30 The strict parent, the fun parent, and what kids really need Thank you for being here! And remember, you are NOT alone and you are Not done. xxx Andrea & Kouelee Here is where you can find us online: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shesnotdonepod/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shesnotdonepod Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@Shesnotdonepod Linktree: https://linktr.ee/Shesnotdonepod?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

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About

SHE'S NOT DONE is the place where difficult conversations begin. It is the podcast for the woman who is rebuilding her life while still showing up for everyone else. Hosted by Andrea and Kouelee, two mothers of two navigating different chapters (one married, one divorced) - this show dives into real conversations about motherhood, identity shifts, healing, ambition, and rebuilding when life doesn't look how you planned. No pretending. No sugarcoating. Just honest conversations for women in their "figure it out" era. If you have ever felt behind, overwhelmed, or like you're quietly starting over...you're not broken - and you're definitely not done. If this resonated with you, then this is for you.  New episodes weekly.

Information

  • Creator
    Kouelee & Andrea
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    26
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 She's Not Done
  • Show Website
    She's Not Done