Carried Forward

Robert DelFave
  • 5.0 (5)
  • Mental Health

Grief doesn't end, it transforms. The Carried Forward Podcast is a conversation-driven show about what happens after loss. Not the moment of loss itself, but the long, slow, often invisible work of rebuilding identity, meaning, and purpose on the other side of it. Host Robert DelFave is a grief coach, author, and someone who lost both parents young. He sits down with grief professionals, researchers, therapists, authors, and thought leaders to ask the questions his clients are living with every day. What does carrying grief forward actually look like? How do you rebuild who you are on the other side of this?

Episodes

  1. Sep 14

    Why Grief Can Return Years Later

    Why can grief catch you off guard years or even decades after someone dies? While writing his book, Robert began reflecting on the childhood trips he took to the airport with his father. He had always believed he arrived early for flights because he loved airports. Sitting on the couch that night, he recognized a deeper connection: walking the terminals still gave him a way to spend time with his dad. In this solo episode, Robert examines why an old loss can feel new again. He explains how grief can return to our awareness as we enter new stages of life, understand past experiences differently, or encounter a memory whose meaning we had not recognized before. The episode also explores the Dual Process Model of Bereavement, continuing bonds, and meaning reconstruction. Robert shares how these ideas shape his approach as a grief coach and offers practical ways to respond when grief resurfaces without judging yourself or treating the experience as a setback. In this episode: Why renewed grief does not mean you have gone backwardHow an old memory can take on new meaningRevisiting a childhood loss from an adult perspectiveMoving between grief and everyday lifeHow places, rituals, and memories can maintain a connection with someone who diedWhy crying can feel helpful for some people without being requiredWhat ordinary grief work can look likeQuestions Robert uses to explore why grief has resurfacedWhen coaching may help and when a licensed mental health professional may offer more appropriate supportWhen grief catches you off guard, try beginning with: “This is grief. I’m okay, and I don’t have to push it down.” You may not need to solve the feeling. Start by noticing what brought the loss into view and what the memory means to you now. Research and frameworks mentioned The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement by Margaret Stroebe and Henk SchutGrowing Up With Grief: Revisiting the Death of a Parent Over the Life Course by Nancee M. Blank and Allison Werner-LinThe Impact of Continuing Bonds Following Bereavement: A Systematic ReviewMeaning Reconstruction in Bereavement by Robert A. NeimeyerThe Riddle of Human Emotional Crying by Ad Vingerhoets and Lauren BylsmaContent note: This episode discusses parental death, grief, crying, and emotional distress. Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writingWebsite: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  2. Sep 8

    From Carrying Pain to Carrying Wisdom w/ Rebecca Gaeta

    At eight years old, Rebecca Gaeta lost both parents—and learned that being “good” meant staying quiet about her grief. Decades later, she discovered that what happens to us may be beyond our control, but how we carry it forward is not. In this episode, I sit down with Rebecca Gaeta, a retired marriage and family therapist whose life and work have been shaped by childhood loss, betrayal, forgiveness, and healing. Her story shows why grief needs more than resilience: it needs truth, safety, presence, and someone willing to listen. Rebecca spent 20 years in private practice and now leads an ongoing grief group at her church. After losing her mother to a brain tumor and her father to suicide as a child, she eventually learned to transform the pain she carried into wisdom, grace, compassion, and service to others. Every episode of The Carried Forward Podcast asks one question: what does carrying grief forward actually look like? Rebecca answers it by showing how the grief that once created silence and isolation can become a source of connection, purpose, and hard-earned wisdom. In this episode: Losing both parents as a child—and growing up in a family where grief was not discussedHow unprocessed childhood grief resurfaced decades laterLearning to feel compassion for the child she once considered weak and needyThe difference between “cheap forgiveness” and the difficult work of finding peaceWhy children need support and permission to grieve—not assumptions about their resilienceHow presence and witness can help when words cannotTurning painful experiences into gifts without pretending the pain happened for a reasonWhat Rebecca wants her eight-year-old self—and her parents—to know: “I’m okay. I got here. You would be proud of me.”Connect with Rebecca Gaeta: Rebecca does not currently maintain a public website or professional social media presence. For now, this conversation is the place to hear her story and learn from her work. Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  3. Aug 10

    Grief Is Not a Problem to Solve w/ Lynn Banis

    "You cannot think your way through grief. You have to feel your way through it." In this episode, I sit down with executive coach and PhD Lynn Banis for a conversation about compounded grief — what happens when loss doesn't arrive once, but keeps arriving, before you've even found solid ground from the last one. Within roughly two and a half years, Lynn lost her mother, her younger brother Bruce, and her husband Bill. She calls that season the wrecking ball of her life. We talk about what it means when grief refuses to be managed intellectually, even by someone whose entire career was built on solving complex problems. About the moment Lynn realized she couldn't coach herself through her own loss, and what her body did to force her to stop. About grief ambushes: the stranger in a meeting who looks like Bill, two cups of coffee poured out of habit, two boxes of cereal in a grocery aisle she no longer wants. But underneath all of it, this conversation is about what Lynn calls a profound reorganization of the self. Lynn shares how she began separating the "shoulds, oughts, and musts" she'd been carrying from what was actually true, how grief lives somatically in the bones and joints and not just the heart and mind, and how she eventually stopped trying to return to who she was and instead learned to integrate the loss like a thread woven into the fabric of her life, rather than a weight she drags behind her. We talk about: why compounded grief keeps forcing the brain and body to readjust, again and againthe difference between knowing about grief and actually being inside itself-limiting beliefs, and how "I should" is often the first sign of onegrief hiding inside change, not just inside deathwhat grief costs versus what grief gives — and holding both truths at oncewhy high-capacity women tend to minimize their own grief and just "try harder"the mason jar Christmas tradition Lynn built with her family to hold two grandfathers' memories with joy instead of dreadthe difference between dragging grief like a weight and integrating it like a threadLynn also shares how she built these lessons into a new membership platform for women navigating major life transitions, so no one has to go through the reorganization alone. At its core, this episode is about what it looks like to keep the people you've lost close, without losing yourself to the loss. Connect with Lynn: Website: womenrisingtogether.org Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  4. Jul 29

    We Were Made for Villages w/ Carl Nassar

    "Grief alone is grief compounded." In this episode, I sit down with grief therapist and counselor Carl Nassar for a conversation about why sorrow becomes heavier when we carry it by ourselves, and what becomes possible when grief is witnessed, held, and shared instead of hidden, rushed, or handled privately. We talk about the villages humans lived in for two million years and what happened when consumer culture took their place. About the exhaustion, isolation, and endless efforting Carl saw repeat across more than 25 years of clinical work. About advertising's false promise to bring us back to our people, the treadmill of achieving and acquiring, and the loneliness sitting underneath it all. But underneath all of it, this conversation is deeply human. Carl shares his own story: crossing an ocean at three years old, learning early that achievement made his mother's shoulders relax, earning tenure as an engineering professor, and then walking away from that career to spend the next 25 years sitting with more than 10,000 individuals, couples, and families. We talk about: why grief carried alone becomes grief compoundedthe loss of shared life and the village we all misshow consumer culture hooks us on achieving and acquiringstillness and compassion, the two forces behind real healinggrief circles and what a group makes possible that one-on-one support can'tbuilding community through proximity, lingering, and rhythmknowing who is safe to share your grief withthe kintsugi bowl and becoming broken but beautifulCarl also shares practical ways to summon stillness and compassion from within, for anyone who doesn't yet have a person or a circle to help hold what they're carrying. At its core, this episode is about finding our people and letting them carry with us what we were never built to carry alone. Connect with Carl:Website: VillageSolution.com Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  5. Jul 19

    The Pause of Grief w/ Stephanie Prestridge

    “I know the pause of grief.” In this episode, I sit down with attorney Stephanie Prestridge for a conversation about the part of grief almost nobody talks about: the collision between emotional loss and the systems people are suddenly forced to navigate after someone dies. We talk about what grief does to people emotionally, financially, relationally, and cognitively. About the paperwork families suddenly face while trying to survive unimaginable loss. About life insurance claims, legal confusion, family conflict, delayed grief, and the invisible weight people carry while the world keeps moving around them. But underneath all of it, this conversation is deeply human. Stephanie shares the story of losing her younger sister as a child, what it looked like to put her own grief on pause while focusing on her mother, and how those experiences eventually transformed the way she practices law today. We talk about: delayed and paused griefwhat grief does to families after lossthe overwhelming administrative side of deathlife insurance claims and denied benefitsfamily conflict after someone diesgrief ambushes and emotional shutdowncarrying love forward instead of staying frozenthe difference between surviving grief and drowning in itStephanie also shares what she’s learned sitting with grieving families every day and why being “seen” matters just as much as legal guidance. At its core, this episode is about learning how to move forward without leaving the people we love behind. Connect with Stephanie:Website: PrestridgeLaw.com Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  6. Jun 29

    Grief Is Not Just Emotional w/ Sylvia Wolfer

    “Many grieving people genuinely think they are losing themselves, when in reality their brain and body are adapting to profound change.” In this episode, I sit down with Sylvia Wolfer for a conversation about what grief does beneath the surface. Sylvia is a grief coach and educator whose work lives at the intersection of grief, neuroscience, mindfulness, and movement. We talk about grief as more than an emotional experience. Grief can affect memory, attention, sleep, energy, decision-making, the nervous system, identity, relationships, and the way a person moves through daily life. But underneath all of it, this conversation is about helping people understand that they are not broken. They are responding to loss. We talk about:  Why grief is not only emotional  How grief affects the brain, body, and nervous system  The tension between being capable and deeply impacted  What reduced capacity can look like after loss  How grief can reshape identity and a person’s sense of safety  Why mindfulness and movement can help without bypassing grief  What healing means when grief is not something we leave behind  What grief can teach us about love, presence, and connection At its core, this episode is about learning to carry grief without treating it like something that has to be fixed or erased. Connect with Sylvia: Website: https://sylviawolfer.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_sylvia_wolfer_grief_support/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sylviawolfer/ Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  7. Jun 15

    The Map Underneath Every Conversation: The Carried Forward Framework Explained

    "I'm just carrying it. I don't know where forward is anymore." That's what Katie said when I asked her what carrying grief forward meant to her. And I think it might be the most honest thing anyone has said on this show. In this solo episode, I do something I've never done on The Carried Forward Podcast before: I explain the framework that runs underneath every conversation. The Carried Forward Framework — five phases called Named, Heard, Reclaimed, Reframed, and Reconnected — is the map I use in my coaching work and the thread that runs through every episode of this show. Using real moments from conversations with guests Katie Rizzo (episode 4) and Nikki J. Borger, I walk through what each phase actually means, what it looks like in a real person's life, and why the goal was never to get over grief — but to carry it. We talk about: Why you can't carry something well if you don't know what it isWhat happens when grief goes underground because the world moves on before you're readyThe difference between being defined by a loss and being built by itWhy reframing isn't positive thinking — and what it actually isWhat it looks like to carry grief forward in ordinary, daily lifeAt its core, this episode is about one thing: wherever you are in your grief is a real place on a real map. You're not behind. You're not doing it wrong. You're carrying something that matters. Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  8. May 29

    I’m Just Carrying It w/ Katie Rizzo

    “I’m just carrying it. I don’t know where forward is anymore.” In this episode, I sit down with author, poet, and grieving mother Katie Rizzo for one of the most honest conversations I’ve had about addiction, shame, identity, and what it means to survive the loss of a child. Katie’s son Nicholas died in September 2024 after struggling with opioid addiction. But this conversation is not just about addiction or loss. It’s about Nicholas himself. Who he was. What grief does to a body, a marriage, a family, and the impossible task of learning how to keep loving someone after they’re gone. We talk about: grief as something physical, not just emotionalthe shame and isolation surrounding addiction losswhat it means to “carry” griefhow identity changes after losing a childthe fear of moving forward without forgettingwhy grief groups can both heal and trap usthe pressure grieving parents place on themselvesthe role creativity and writing can play in surviving lossKatie also shares the story behind her upcoming memoir, The Trimesters of Grief, and her poetry collection, None of Them Are You. At its core, this conversation is about love that refuses to disappear. Connect with Katie:Website: katierizzo.com Instagram: @katierizzo007 Upcoming Books: The Trimesters of GriefNone of Them Are YouLearn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  9. May 22

    The Loneliness of Sibling Grief w/ Zander Sprague

    “Everyone asks how the parents are doing. Nobody asks how the siblings are doing.” In this episode, I sit down with author, speaker, counselor, and sibling grief advocate Zander Sprague for a deeply honest conversation about sibling loss, overlooked grief, and what it means to carry someone forward after tragedy. Zander’s older sister Lucy was murdered in 1996. Nearly thirty years later, he’s helping sibling survivors feel seen through his writing, counseling, advocacy work, and communities like The Compassionate Friends and TCF Sibs. We talk about: why sibling grief is so often overlooked the loneliness of becoming “the forgotten mourner” grief ambushes and emotional triggers what it means to let grief shape you without defining you why people never truly “get over” losing someone they love the power of community after loss how remembering someone keeps them alive in our livesAt its core, this episode is about recognition. About finally hearing: “I see you. Your grief matters too.” Connect with Zander:  Website: ZanderSprague.comInstagram: @epic_beginsYouTube: @epicbeginsLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ZanderSpragueBooks: Epic Begins With 1 Step ForwardMaking Lemonade: Choosing A Positive Pathway After Losing Your SiblingWhy Don’t They Cry?: Understanding Your Living Child’s GriefLearn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  10. May 17

    Grief Has No Timeline w/ Zulma Williams

    “Grief is love that has nowhere to go.” In this episode, I sit down with therapist and grief counselor Zulma Williams for an honest conversation about grief, trauma, healing, and the emotional unpredictability of loss. We talk about why grief has no timeline, how loss reshapes identity, what grief ambushes actually feel like, and the difference between carrying grief and being consumed by it. Zulma is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who works with clients navigating trauma, anxiety, depression, grief, and major life transitions. But more than that, she’s someone who deeply understands the emotional reality of loss. At its core, The Carried Forward Podcast is about one thing:learning how to live with grief without losing yourself inside of it. This conversation explores: why grief and trauma are so deeply connectedthe pressure people feel to “move on”what healing actually looks like after losswhy grief changes identityhow to support someone who is grievingthe emotional reality of grief ambusheswhy it’s okay to not be okayConnect with ZulmaWebsite: www.dragonflytherapyservices.net Instagram: @theswearingtherapist Learn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  11. Apr 24

    Grief Doesn't End. It Transforms.

    What's the grief milestone nobody prepares you for? Not the funeral. Not the first year. The weird specific one nobody talks about. I asked that question recently and over nine hundred people answered. Their responses told me everything I needed to know about why this show exists. In this first episode I'm introducing The Carried Forward Podcast — what it is, who it's for, and why I built it. I'm Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and someone who lost both parents before the age of thirty. For twenty years I carried that grief alone. This show is what I wish had existed back then. Every episode of The Carried Forward Podcast asks one question: what does carrying grief forward actually look like? I'll be sitting down with grief professionals, researchers, therapists, authors, and people with profound lived experience to find out. Grief doesn't end. It transforms. And the goal isn't to get over it — it's to carry it forward. In this episode: Why nine hundred strangers on the internet changed how I think about griefThe four month drop-off nobody talks aboutWhat the Carried Forward Framework is and why I built itWhat to expect from this showLearn more about Robert DelFave’s grief coaching and writing Website: robertdelfave.comGrief coaching: robertdelfave.com/coachingSchedule a complimentary Grief Map Session: Book a Grief Map SessionThe Other Side of This: robertdelfave.com/bookContact: hello@robertdelfave.com The Carried Forward Podcast is hosted by Robert DelFave, grief coach, David Kessler Certified Grief Educator, and author of The Other Side of This.

  • 11 Episodes

5
out of 5
5 Ratings

About

Grief doesn't end, it transforms. The Carried Forward Podcast is a conversation-driven show about what happens after loss. Not the moment of loss itself, but the long, slow, often invisible work of rebuilding identity, meaning, and purpose on the other side of it. Host Robert DelFave is a grief coach, author, and someone who lost both parents young. He sits down with grief professionals, researchers, therapists, authors, and thought leaders to ask the questions his clients are living with every day. What does carrying grief forward actually look like? How do you rebuild who you are on the other side of this?

Information

  • Creator
    Robert DelFave
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    11
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Robert DelFave
  • Show Website
    Carried Forward