How's Your Ma Podcast

Leanne Ryan & Orla Lynch
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Our podcast explores women’s relationships—from mother-daughter to leadership—and how they shape lives, aiming to support and empower women across all relationship experiences.

  1. 6d ago

    How's Your Ma: Episode 16

    In this episode of How's Your Ma?, Arla and Leanne sit down with Brendan Power, a man with over 40 years off drink and 20 years off drugs, who now dedicates his life to helping others through AA. Brendan opens up about a childhood marked by early exposure to alcohol, trouble with the courts at just 13, corporal punishment and abuse in school, and a "double life" battling addiction while raising a family. He speaks candidly about relapsing after 12 years sober, the difference between treatment centres and AA, the importance of asking for help without shame, and how honesty and connection changed his life. A raw, honest, and ultimately hopeful conversation about recovery, trauma, and redemption. Timecodes: 00:00 – Intro & welcoming Brendan Power01:10 – Brendan introduces himself: "recovering alcoholic and addict"01:33 – 40 years sober from drink, 20 from drugs02:11 – Relapsing after 12 years clean02:39 – First "drink" as a child & drinking heavy by age 1304:13 – First time in court at 13, introduced to AA07:13 – The judge who changed his path09:19 – First AA meeting at 1310:47 – Time in Saint Patrick's Institution as a teen12:07 – Going back to drugs after 12 years sober12:53 – Unpacking childhood trauma and undealt-with "shadows"14:14 – Abuse and corporal punishment in school25:05 – The power of "carrying the message" in AA26:29 – Explaining other recovery programs and key workers27:35 – Breaking down the 12 steps29:25 – Relationship with Carol & family life32:15 – Living a "double life"37:44 – How communities and drugs have changed over 40 years47:22 – "Treatment centers are for discovery, AA is for recovery"48:20 – On wanting recovery for yourself, not others50:02 – Family, Al-Anon, and the impact on loved ones53:29 – Brendan's best days in recovery: being confronted by his kids58:39 – The song that represents his life1:01:13 – Final words: "Let people know what's going on in your head"1:02:10 – Closing thoughts & outro

  2. Aug 6

    How's Your Ma: Episode 15

    In this episode of How's Your Ma?, hosts Orla and Leanne sit down with engaged couple Cathal and Rebecca, founders of the awareness project Different Minds, Same Heart (Project DMs). Based in County Westmeath and set to marry in February 2028, Cathal and Rebecca open up about discovering they were both neurodivergent, and how they're using their wedding journey to spark conversations around autism, ADHD, and mental health. Cathal shares his story of being flagged for autism as a child, being placed in a "special class," years of being misunderstood, and eventually getting an official autism diagnosis in his mid-20s — plus how martial arts and MMA became an outlet for him growing up. Rebecca talks about masking as the "good kid," a burnout at 21 that led to a borderline personality disorder misdiagnosis, and finally getting her ADHD and (likely) Asperger's diagnosis just months before this recording. Together they discuss self-diagnosis and TikTok, complex trauma vs. neurodivergence, sensory sensitivities (fireworks, balloons, noise), medication and therapy (including EMDR), how they met on Plenty of Fish, and their plans for an accessible, sensory-friendly wedding. A warm, honest conversation about masking, late diagnosis, family reactions, and building a life — and a wedding — around acceptance. Time Codes / Chapters 00:00 – Intro: meet Cathal & Rebecca, Different Minds Same Heart, their February 2028 wedding00:53 – Why they're using their wedding as a platform for awareness01:56 – Five tips for a neurodivergent-friendly wedding (itinerary sharing, sensory needs, no balloons/fireworks)04:11 – Cathal's childhood: flagged for autism at school, placed in a "special class"05:16 – Family and teachers noticing signs early on06:16 – Complex PTSD, years of being told to "go get tested"06:57 – Official diagnosis: autism, and the ADHD misdiagnosis question08:02 – Getting diagnosed at 26 — "it answered everything"10:11 – Telling his parents; his late father's likely undiagnosed autism10:55 – Growing up in an era of "special classes" and harmful labels12:18 – How casual stigma and slurs shaped attitudes toward disability decades ago14:39 – Introducing Rebecca's story — "the flip side"15:11 – Masking as a "people pleaser" and perfectionist as a child15:54 – Burnout in her early 20s, leaving work due to anxiety and depression18:41 – GP visit, misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder19:56 – Discovering ADHD through social media — "it's like they read my mind"20:20 – How ADHD presents differently in girls vs. boys21:24 – Barriers to diagnosis in Ireland — cost, waitlists, GP process22:02 – Being the eldest child navigating this alone24:09 – Getting the official diagnosis and the sense of validation25:40 – Assessment reveals likely Asperger's too26:24 – Cathal coming off complex-PTSD medication — the hard withdrawal28:20 – Discussing therapy, EMDR, and access/cost barriers to services30:33 – What ADHD medication actually does (and doesn't do) for Rebecca33:28 – Neurodivergence in their wider families34:42 – Childhood trauma vs. ADHD — how they can look alike35:37 – Self-diagnosis, TikTok, and the difference between traits and being "on the spectrum"39:39 – How Cathal and Rebecca matched on Plenty of Fish41:06 – Their first date story (and the chiropractor mix-up)44:13 – Shared interests: wrestling, superhero movies, staying playful46:53 – Friends' reactions to their diagnoses48:02 – Sensory sensitivities: balloons, fireworks, noise-cancelling ear defenders49:46 – Introducing Project DMs (Different Minds, Same Heart) and its mission51:10 – Fighting online stigma and misinformation around neurodivergence54:00 – Their relationship story — moving in together, saying "I love you"55:04 – Wedding details: February 2028, County Louth, rustic barn venue56:21 – Cathal's MMA and boxing background — coaching, sensory overload in the cage1:01:01 – Rebecca's childhood hobbies — sports, Westlife, wrestling, John Cena1:02:12 – Closing reflections on labels, masking, and acceptance1:03:37 – Where to find Project DMs and how to get involved1:04:51 – Final thoughts and sign-off

  3. Jul 30

    How's Your Ma: Episode 14 (Ciara Jones)

    This week, Orla and Leanne are joined by Ciara Jones — mother, full-time carer, and one of Ireland's most tireless autism advocates. Ciara is mam to three and a half children (as she puts it) including Gavin, who is autistic, intellectually disabled and preverbal. In 2018 she left a 20-year career to become his full-time carer. Ciara opens up about her happy childhood in Cabra, her parents' quiet strength, and the devastating loss of her own mother — a moment that pushed her to finally open the autism support hub she'd always dreamed of. She shares the story of volunteering in a Russian orphanage in her twenties, meeting her husband Mick and building their family, and the early, lonely days of parenting a non-speaking autistic child. From there, Ciara talks through the extraordinary advocacy work she's built: the AsIAm 5K, the Autism Support Hub she runs with her friend Caroline, the Sparkle for Autism Ball (which has raised almost €400,000 towards a goal of half a million), and her role as founder of Chasing Justice — a group supporting over 200 families whose autistic children have been abused or secluded in Irish schools. She speaks candidly about the day Gavin ran from her at school, what daily life with him looks like now, the guilt she carries about what lies ahead for her other two children as young carers, and what keeps her and Mick going as a couple. It's a raw, funny, and deeply moving conversation about grief, resilience, community, and refusing to let anyone feel alone. Content note: this episode discusses child illness/death (stillbirth, cancer, end-of-life care), and later touches on the abuse and seclusion of autistic children in schools. Timecodes 00:00 – Intro: Orla and Leanne welcome Ciara Jones00:14 – Ciara introduces herself: mum of three and a half, full-time carer to Gavin (16), Dara (12) and Éabha/her youngest, plus stepson Michael01:24 – Who Ciara was before "mummy" — growing up in Cabra02:08 – Life as a young carer; her dad the grafter, her mam "the most wonderful mother"03:04 – Her mother's history — printing family, a stillborn baby never spoken of, and Ciara's own birth (an 11.5lb baby!)03:51 – Her mam's two cancer diagnoses and quiet resilience07:07 – The day her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at 69 — and her mam's dark sense of humour through it09:16 – Volunteering in a Russian orphanage in 2004 — meeting Debbie Deegan, the inspiration behind her advocacy13:30 (approx.) – Meeting Mick, becoming a mum, and Gavin's early years18:25 – Trying for more children, Dara's birth, and the isolation of early autism parenting20:04 – Fundraising for Gavin's school and finding a sense of purpose20:48 – Her 20 years working in Aer Lingus and building an autism community there21:50 – 2018: leaving her career to become Gavin's full-time carer22:25 – Stepson Michael's journey — from meeting Adam Harris to working at AsIAm24:05 – Founding the AsIAm 5K — "we're not an island"25:22 – Realising Gavin deserved to be asked about his day too — communicating with a non-speaking child28:15 – Her mother's death during Covid, told through the glass at the nursing home29:27 – "I'm begging you, don't let her die alone" — being with her mam at the end34:47 – The moment she decided to open the Autism Support Hub35:18 – The Autism Support Hub with Caroline — DCA forms, carer supports, and a free, all-voluntary service36:55 – The origin of the Sparkle for Autism Ball43:30 – Nearly half a million euro raised — and how people can support the cause (Instagram: Ciara Jones — Reaching Out to Autism)45:03 – A day in Gavin's life — his routines, his independence, and his joy47:23 – Orla and Dara as young carers, and the guilt of what the future holds for them49:25 – The day Gavin ran from the car — a story about unpredictability and vigilance54:59 – What it's really like for her and Mick as parents and as a couple57:23 – The power of community — "nobody needs to be alone"59:50 – Founding Chasing Justice — supporting over 200 families whose autistic children have been abused in school1:00:44 – The pattern of blaming the child, not the adults in the room1:01:33 – Seclusion is illegal — but it's still happening1:03:59 – A small win: new child protection guidelines in schools, shaped by Ciara's own case1:06:07 – Final words of wisdom: "find your community... you need to feel you belong"1:09:08 – Closing thoughts and thanks

  4. Jul 23

    How's Your Ma: Episode 13

    In this episode, hosts Leanne and Orla sit down with Courtney — a PhD scientist who walked away from academia to become a Pilates instructor and digital entrepreneur. As the eldest of five, Courtney opens up about the pressure to prove herself, the quiet burnout that came with "achieving and achieving," and the moment she handed in her notice to build a business instead. The conversation moves through her working-class roots and what it meant to carry them into an academic world that didn't always feel like hers, the toxic competitiveness of PhD life and the grief of losing friendships along the way, and the joy of rebuilding a support system through Pilates, business, and community. Courtney also shares the story of her ten-year relationship, her growing "Aligné" brand (Pilates, digital tools for wellness professionals, and a book club), and her honest advice for young women weighing big life choices: know your why, take the risk, and design a life on your own terms. Timecodes 00:00 – Intro: meet Courtney, PhD-turned-Pilates-instructor00:37 – Courtney's story: years chasing a PhD, then walking away01:44 – "Who did you do it for?" — proving herself as the eldest of five02:46 – The turning point: Pilates training and telling her boyfriend she's leaving academia03:47 – Class, poverty, and staying true to her roots in academia06:49 – No pause button: school straight through to PhD with no break08:32 – Starting the business alongside mixed reactions from others09:36 – Why the work is about people, not just the job12:07 – Family life: laid-back parents, five siblings, "the whole family has ADHD"14:04 – Naming the business "Aligné" and quitting the postdoc for good15:53 – Finding her soul's purpose: helping people directly17:39 – Learning to look after herself after academic burnout19:51 – How she met her partner — school sweethearts, ten years together22:45 – Teaching at the Wellness Center and the story behind "Keith's Elephant"26:41 – Her boyfriend's life: marching band and the sousaphone28:15 – Launching Aligné Digital — finance tools for wellness professionals31:14 – Courtney's Corner book club and always chasing the next idea31:56 – Looking ahead: marriage, no kids, and a love of travel34:23 – Advice for aspiring entrepreneurs: take the risk, fake it till you make it37:02 – Her parents' unconditional support in building the business38:39 – Friendship in academia vs. the new, supportive friendships she's found43:32 – The grief of losing friendships in a toxic, competitive environment46:14 – Could she ever go back to academia?49:12 – Movement as her emotional outlet and coping tool51:02 – Her closest friends, Sarah and Shannon52:46 – What would her friends say about her?55:07 – Final advice for young women figuring out their path57:24 – Wrap-up and where to find Courtney

  5. Jul 16

    How's Your Ma: Episode 12

    This week, Orla and Leanne discuss domestic violence and abuse. Leanne is an Outreach, Prevention & Training Manager at a domestic violence service in South Dublin, and brings her frontline experience to a raw, wide-ranging conversation about what abuse actually looks like — physical, psychological, financial, digital — how it hides in plain sight, why survivors stay, and what it really takes to leave. Together they walk through the statistics (1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men affected), the intergenerational cycle of trauma, the exhausting reality of hypervigilance and "walking on eggshells," and the practical side of safety planning and support services. They also get into how modern dating — situationships, open relationships, age-gap relationships — is reshaping what abuse and healthy boundaries even look like today. It's a heavy topic handled with honesty, humor, and care, ending with a reminder: don't live with it alone, help is out there. Content note: This episode discusses domestic violence, abuse, and trauma in detail. Listener discretion advised. Timecodes: 00:00 – Intro: this week's topic is domestic violence; meet Leanne00:38 – The many ways women reach out (helpline, refuge, WhatsApp, email)01:32 – The stats: 1 in 3 women, 1 in 7 men02:27 – Spotting the signs — a real-life example on a bus03:27 – Internal coping and normalized abuse from childhood04:19 – "It was just a slap" — normalization passed down from parents05:06 – How people first reach out for help06:03 – Living in chronic fear and constant risk-assessment06:53 – Survival mode and hypervigilance after leaving07:14 – Abuse affects every age group07:41 – The 2014 study: relationships starting at 15, abuse lasting 20.5 years08:42 – Culture, religion, and family "tradition" shaping the conversation09:08 – Breaking the cycle — "boulders vs. pebbles" across generations10:39 – Talking success stories12:26 – Case study: a couple with clashing attachment styles14:14 – Learned behavior and generational patterns of abuse15:27 – Choice vs. conditioning — when abuse is a choice16:11 – Childhood memories and the "house of horrors" hidden behind closed doors17:26 – Ireland only began recording femicides in 199618:19 – Awareness campaigns: rural outreach and the 16 Days of Activism19:06 – Psychological vs. physical abuse — "walking on eggshells"20:15 – The exhaustion of trauma and constant vigilance21:14 – How chronic fear changes the brain22:50 – How to help someone and where to send them23:43 – Safety planning and risk assessment24:33 – Practical safety steps: documents, an emergency bag, a safe person25:19 – Supporting someone who discloses abuse to you26:04 – The podcast Leanne recorded in a nail salon26:43 – Men, stigma, and asking for help27:24 – Leanne's brother — a story about being protected28:03 – "It's an epidemic" — why sharing this episode matters28:33 – How many attempts it takes, on average, to leave29:00 – Harrowing stories from the frontline30:14 – Sacrificing safety to protect family members30:57 – Watching survivors rebuild and grow31:13 – Recovery is a long journey31:40 – Free workshops and healthy relationships education32:04 – How modern dating has changed — "seeing" someone vs. official33:30 – Non-monogamy and shifting relationship norms34:09 – Emotional safety in undefined relationships34:35 – Dating again after divorce, later in life35:14 – Age gaps and the "cougar" conversation35:46 – LGBTQ+, open, and kink relationships — redefining what's abusive36:49 – Advice: know who you are, don't settle37:16 – Breaking the cycle for future generations37:41 – Reminder: help is out there, don't carry it alone38:24 – Closing thoughts and how to reach the podcast38:49 – Sign-off

  6. Jul 9

    How's Your Ma: Episode 11

    Leanne and Orla, taking stock. After a run of powerful conversations, they sit down to reflect on the guests who've been on the show, the feedback that's poured in from listeners, and the things those stories stirred up in themselves. They talk about the family who show up every day despite everything stacked against them, the healer who divides opinion, and the guest whose story left grown men ringing home in tears. From there the conversation turns personal and unguarded: fear and bravado, resting bitch face, imposter syndrome, growing up mixed-race in Ireland, a dad who survived more than he ever let on, and Leanne's first nervous steps into an Al-Anon meeting after years of unknowingly carrying someone else's addiction. It's a wide-ranging, funny, and raw episode about masking, healing, racism, grief, and choosing kindness — with a fair few tangents about concerts, getaway driving, and the Luas thrown in for good measure. Timecodes 00:00 – Intro: no guest this week, just Leanne and Orla reflecting on the podcast so far00:41 – Listener feedback on Asha, Georgia and Mikey's family — positivity, sibling relationships, and "showing up" through struggle02:34 – What it might really be like behind the positivity; wanting to be witnessed rather than performing okay03:44 – Respecting guests' boundaries — "lived stories vs. told stories" and not being entitled to more04:06 – Feedback on Jackie's episode — a husband's reaction, "a tower of strength"05:33 – Why so many male listeners connect with episodes exploring female relationships and vulnerability06:38 – Feedback on Mandy's episode — soul retrieval, skepticism, and curiosity07:33 – Fear vs. impulsiveness — roller coasters, theme parks, and masking fear from the kids09:30 – Bungee jumps, parachutes, and facing fears (mostly not)10:48 – "Resting bitch face," body language, and being read by people who've been through trauma12:36 – Imposter syndrome — growing up mixed-race in Ireland and not knowing where you fit16:15 – Rising racism, a roadside incident, and a partner's first real brush with it17:16 – Racism in school — teachers, bullying, and a brother called names17:53 – Orla's dad mistaken for a "foreigner" moving into his own house20:12 – Her dad's story — army service, resilience, and being "a man full of stories"21:52 – Turning inherited pain into purpose — choosing to help other people23:18 – On healing being a choice, and why not everyone owes their story23:43 – Leanne on going to her first Al-Anon meeting26:32 – Realising she was never fully healed — codependency and being "addicted to chaos"28:47 – The letter that finally pushed her toward healing29:10 – Nerves, courage, and finding her voice in the room31:46 – How she found the meetings, and the "slap of reality"32:49 – Encouraging others affected by someone else's addiction to just try a meeting33:31 – On bravery, survival mode, and a story about ayahuasca and total transformation34:50 – Breaking free of the boxes other people put you in36:16 – Fear of "big things" — driving, crashes, and playful banter about bravery37:32 – A running joke about robbing a bank and being the getaway driver38:14 – Worry about kids on scooters and safety on the roads39:30 – Lighter chat: Take That, Robbie Williams, and Gary Barlow live41:34 – A chaotic Luas ride home from a Wolfe Tones gig, surrounded by Take That fans42:22 – Football talk and TikTok crushes43:11 – Safety concerns on the Luas — women being harassed and attacked44:29 – A racist incident in town — "go back to where you came from"44:55 – Letting go of caring what people think, and choosing not to judge45:37 – Choosing kindness over resentment — "it's hard to be a bitch"46:27 – Grief and anger after losing her dad and brother47:12 – Coming full circle — why they started the podcast in the first place47:41 – Closing thoughts on acknowledging our stories and helping others be themselves48:07 – Masking grief as a mum, daughter, and sister49:42 – The "double bind" — mixed signals kids pick up on, and how it shapes them50:34 – The cultural double bind of never quite belonging51:09 – Sign-off — be kind, be open, and be guide

  7. Jul 2

    How's Your Ma: Episode 10

    In this deeply moving episode, Orla and Leanne sit down with Mandy — known to many as "Cher Mandy" — a shamanic healer whose extraordinary life journey has taken her from the flats of Inchicore to the housing estates of Clondalkin, through grief, fear, addiction, and profound spiritual awakening. Mandy opens up about growing up as the middle child in a family of nine, feeling unseen and at war with herself from a young age. She shares the heartbreak of watching her sister Nicola get caught up in addiction and drugs, the raw grief of losing her, and the precious final year they shared together. She talks candidly about becoming a teenage mother at 16, struggling with postnatal depression, and the years she spent trying to survive rather than truly live — caught between bodybuilding, partying, and numbing pain she didn't yet have the tools to understand. From a Buddhist quote on a door that helped her manifest her first home, to a Reiki session on New Year's Eve that cracked everything open, Mandy traces the winding road that led her to shamanic healing — and to herself. She speaks with honesty and warmth about soul retrieval, ancestral wounds, past life healing, mediumship, and how her own lived experience now powers her work helping others release trauma, break generational cycles, and find their way home. A raw, real, and deeply human episode. Not one to miss. Timecodes: 0:00 — Introductions: Meet Mandy, "Cher Mandy"0:53 — Where to begin: Growing up one of nine children in Inchicore and Clondalkin2:37 — Life as the middle child: feeling forgotten and at war with herself3:33 — Family breakdown, tension, and learning to fight to survive6:12 — Sister Nicola: addiction, loss, and the stolen soul8:28 — Nicola's final days and the grief of letting go12:46 — Becoming a teenage mother at 16: shock, isolation, and postnatal depression17:32 — The search for space, peace, and belonging21:41 — Spirituality enters: a Buddhist quote, a prayer, and getting her first home24:20 — Joining the FCA and finding her fight27:11 — Bodybuilding, anger, and trying to escape herself31:41 — Love, loss, and looking for belonging in all the wrong places33:10 — Childhood traumas: the scald, the haircut, and years of bullying35:18 — Living in fear: a stalker, a threat to her son, and the moment she stood up37:49 — Her first healing session: a spirit attachment and a turning point39:26 — Getting into Reiki and beginning to heal41:22 — A New Year's Eve call that changed everything42:05 — Two years of isolation, meditation, and breakdown43:07 — Meningitis, a full spiritual awakening, and a reset43:24 — Getting sober and the relationship with alcohol45:23 — Discovering mediumship and channelling messages49:35 — Becoming a shamanic healer: soul retrieval explained52:16 — Past life healing: the priestess, the barbed wire, and reclaiming her voice53:13 — Ancestral healing and breaking generational cycles55:34 — Returning a soul piece to her son Carl57:08 — The twins arrive: trauma and joy collide on the same date58:32 — How to find Mandy and what her events involve59:42 — Understanding addiction as a search for wholeness1:01:05 — Closing reflections: the soul screams until you listen1:01:46 — Sign-off: walking through the fire to lead others through it

  8. Jun 25

    How's Your Ma: Episode 9 (Jackie support and survival pt2)

    In this raw and deeply moving second part of Jackie's story, Orla, Leanne and Jackie pick up where they left off — and what follows is one of the most honest and courageous conversations the pod has had. Jackie takes us through the moment she discovered she was pregnant with Abby, and the immediate unravelling of Tony's mask — from "that's what we always wanted" to "I don't believe you're pregnant" within days. What should have been a time of joy became another chapter of coercive control, fear, and isolation, compounded by the devastating news at Jackie's 20-week scan that her baby had a serious heart condition. Abby was born with a complex congenital heart defect — her organs on the wrong side, her heart with only two chambers and a large hole between them — and was rushed straight to Crumlin Children's Hospital from birth. Jackie describes the terror of bringing a medically fragile baby home with a 50% chance of not making it to her first birthday, learning CPR at the hospital door, and doing it all largely alone while living in fear of Abby's father. As Abby grew, so did the abuse — escalating to the night Tony picked Jackie up and threw her across the room in front of Abby, telling her he would have her killed. That was Jackie's light bulb moment. She talks about the court process, the safety orders that were just pieces of paper to him, the guards who didn't take her seriously, and the slow, painful road to finally getting out. She also opens up about eventually finding support through Aoibhneas domestic violence services, being diagnosed with PTSD, and what it felt like to finally have her experience validated. Jackie also speaks about her mother — learning at her deathbed that she likely had autism, and the grief and guilt that came a year later when everything finally made sense. And she speaks about her father, whom she cared for despite everything, and who told her she wasn't his. This is an episode about survival — not just Jackie's, but Abby's. Today, Abby has finished a PLC with nine distinctions, is clued in, strong, and thriving. And Jackie, living in a beautiful little cottage by the sea, is a very different woman — one who doesn't take shit, points out red flags, and has her hand out to anyone who needs it. Her closing words to anyone still in it: Don't ignore the red flags. Don't be afraid to talk. Believe in the experience that you're having. Timecodes 00:00 – Intro: Leanne and Orla welcome listeners back for Part 2 of Jackie's story 00:25 – Recap: picking up from Part 1, moving into Abby's arrival and life from there 00:58 – Jackie calls Tony the moment she finds out she's pregnant — and wonders to this day why she did 01:19 – Tony's reaction: "That's what we always wanted" — followed within days by "I don't believe you're pregnant" 02:08 – Why Jackie didn't leave: living in constant fear, the body going into autopilot every time he walked through the door 02:51 – The roller coaster of Tony's responses to the pregnancy; and Jackie's sister passing away in the middle of it all 03:36 – The 20-week scan: the nurse takes too long, asks Jackie to come back — and Jackie's gut knows immediately something is wrong 04:48 – Returning for the follow-up scan: brought into a different room, a specialist, a team — "There's something wrong with your baby" 05:24 – The diagnosis: a serious heart condition, possibly linked to Down syndrome — Jackie's response: "I don't care if my baby has Down syndrome, I need to know if she'll live" 05:40 – Tony's reaction on finding out it's a girl: visible disgust — his only priority was a boy 06:32 – Scans at Crumlin Children's Hospital throughout the pregnancy; the surreal terror of being in a children's hospital before Abby is even born 07:13 – The cardiologist's bleak prognosis: Abby's organs on the wrong side, liver midline, heart central, two chambers with a large hole between them 08:05 – Jackie hiding away during the pregnancy, talking to Abby every day, willing her to just get through 08:41 – Abby goes into distress a week before her due date; emergency C-section 09:23 – Abby is born — purple, a mop of jet black hair, gorgeous — and immediately taken to Crumlin 09:44 – Jackie, post-surgery and unable to walk, left alone in a hospital room while Abby fights for life; Tony's family never once makes contact 10:41 – A control call from Tony's ex while Jackie is lying there unable to move — she cuts it short 11:32 – The next morning: Jackie discharges herself against medical advice to get to Crumlin; the first time she gets to touch Abby 12:21 – Crumlin: emergency blessings, Prostin to keep Abby's arteries open, MRI scans 12:53 – Abby's first open-heart surgery at three days old; Jackie describes seeing her baby connected to tubes, unrecognisable 13:33 – The abuse never stopped during the pregnancy — always there under the surface; keeping Tony happy just to survive 14:10 – Tony thriving off Abby's illness for sympathy; Jackie realises she was confiding in the wrong person 15:05 – Taking Abby home from hospital: learning CPR at the door, terrified of the "what ifs", 50% chance of not making it to her first birthday 16:05 – Home for three weeks, then Abby's second surgery at ten months old; she flies through it 17:03 – The ongoing reality: regular hospital admissions, needle trauma, Abby's fear of procedures — and Jackie navigating it all 18:13 – Tony always around, never a couple, but Jackie never left Abby alone with him 18:42 – Abby starts school early on cardiologist advice; she thrives and loves it 19:12 – The abuse escalates; Jackie's entire focus is Abby, running on fear and survival 19:47 – The night everything changed: Tony picks Jackie up and throws her across the room in front of Abby, tells her he'll have her killed — his eyes go black 21:08 – The new layer of fear: not just him, but the threat of an unknown person; Jackie believes him completely — "his own mother said she knew" 21:50 – Installing cameras, seeing shadows in the grass, barely functioning; her aunt visits and raises the alarm to her uncle Pat 23:20 – The court case: Jackie can't go into detail legally but describes the experience as surreal, watching Tony lie with confidence in front of a judge 24:42 – Why Jackie still allowed contact: not wanting Abby alone with him unsupervised, and the terrifying reality of guardianship laws 26:22 – Tony fights for guardianship — not for access, not for Abby — just for control and the piece of paper 27:25 – The light bulb moment: going to the GP, starting antidepressants, trying to hold herself together for the court process 28:34 – Surviving the court case; the system failing her — safety orders that were meaningless to him 29:44 – Abby at 9 or 10, coming out the door begging not to be sent back; Jackie sends the email and says she is not going back — and Tony never comes looking 31:01 – To...

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Our podcast explores women’s relationships—from mother-daughter to leadership—and how they shape lives, aiming to support and empower women across all relationship experiences.

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  • Creator
    Leanne Ryan & Orla Lynch
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Leanne Ryan & Orla Lynch