Soft Endings

by MavenHaven
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A grief-centered podcast and newsletter about care, loss, remembrance, legacy, and living tenderly in a brutal world. lettn2mec.substack.com

  1. Aug 26

    The Grief of a Body That Needs Time

    After years of avoiding COVID, I finally got it. And while the illness itself was scary, especially when my blood pressure started dropping just from walking across the house, what stayed with me afterward was how quickly I started worrying about everything I wasn’t doing. The podcast was behind. Laundry was piling up. My business still existed. And even though I knew my body was actively fighting an illness, some part of me still wanted to call those days “unproductive.” In this episode of Soft Endings, I talk about the grief of losing the illusion of safety from COVID, the strange social denial surrounding a virus that’s still harming people, and the internalized ableism that tells us rest needs to be justified. I also reflect on fluctuating capacity, what temporary illness made me notice about the assumptions we make about disabled and chronically ill bodies, and why “healing is productive” might not actually be the liberation it sounds like. Maybe healing doesn’t need to prove its usefulness. Maybe some days just count because we lived them. Soft Endings is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  2. Jul 30

    The Grief at Empire’s End

    What happens when the story you built your life around stops making sense? In this episode, I explore a kind of grief I don’t hear people talk about very often—the grief of watching the future you were promised slowly fall apart. This isn’t an episode about politics as much as it is about disillusionment. It’s about growing up believing that hard work would lead to stability, then realizing that many of us are doing everything “right” and still struggling to imagine a future that feels secure. From my own experience in Atlanta, to growing up in Tuskegee, to my work as a death doula, I explore what happens when institutions stop feeling dependable—and why community has always been the quiet foundation beneath them. Maybe grief isn’t only about losing people. Maybe it’s also about losing the stories we thought would carry us. And maybe, when those stories end, they invite us to remember something much older. Thank you for listening. Soft Endings is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  3. Jul 17

    The Grief of Being Unknowable

    How do two people share years of ordinary life together and still leave with completely different understandings of each other? This episode began with a question I couldn’t shake after the end of my longest relationship. I wasn’t just grieving the relationship itself. I was grieving the realization that the person walking away seemed to be carrying a version of me that felt almost unrecognizable. That question led me somewhere unexpected. Why do relationships begin with so much curiosity, but often end with certainty? At what point do we stop updating the portraits we carry of one another? In this episode, I explore the grief of accepting that none of us can ever be fully known—not because we aren’t honest, but because every person remembers, interprets, and carries a different version of us. We talk about memory, intentions, family, identity, legacy, and the quiet courage it takes to stay curious about the people we love. If this conversation resonated with you and you’re navigating grief, caregiving, or the changing shape of relationships, this is the work I offer through MavenHaven. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  4. Jul 8

    The Grief of Still Loving Someone Who Hurt You

    What do you do when someone becomes part of your grief… and you still love them anyway? Our culture tells us there are only two acceptable endings: if someone hurt you, you should hate them. If you still love them, you should go back. But what if neither is true? In this episode, I explore one of the loneliest and least-talked-about forms of grief: the transformation of love after relational hurt. We untangle the differences between understanding and excusing, forgiveness and reconciliation, love and access, and hope and responsibility. This isn’t an episode about staying in harmful relationships. It’s about what happens after you’ve already left—and discover your heart didn’t stop loving just because the relationship ended. If you’ve ever felt ashamed for still caring about someone who hurt you, this conversation is for you. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  5. Jun 24

    The Grief of Being the Villain in Someone Else’s Story

    Sometimes growth arrives too late. Long after the breakup.Long after the friendship ends.Long after the conversation you wish you’d had. This week, I’m reflecting on seeing someone from my past for the first time in years, the uncomfortable humanity of Beef Season 2, and a kind of grief we rarely talk about: the grief of realizing we’ve hurt someone we loved. What happens when accountability is real, but repair is no longer possible? How do we carry regret without letting it become our identity? And can we become better people, even if we never get another chance? This episode explores shame, accountability, restorative justice, self-forgiveness, and the painful reality that some of the most important lessons cost us relationships we wish we’d known how to save. If you’ve ever replayed an old conversation wishing you knew then what you know now, this one’s for you. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  6. Jun 17

    The Fight Didn’t End. We Just Started Throwing a Party.

    June is supposed to be a month of celebration. Pride. Juneteenth. Progress. Visibility. But what happens when the thing we’re celebrating isn’t finished? In this episode, Chris explores the tension between joy and responsibility, tracing a thread through Pride displays, Juneteenth commemorations, Frida Kahlo merchandise, and the stories we tell ourselves about social progress. Together, we’ll ask what happens when movements become symbols, when celebrations become evidence that the work is done, and what it might look like to celebrate without forgetting the people still carrying the struggle. This isn’t an argument against joy. It’s an invitation to stay connected. Because the fight didn’t end. We just started throwing a party. Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  7. Jun 11

    The Shapes of Love

    What if grief isn’t love with nowhere to go? After watching Is God Is and spending a weekend supporting a family through an end-of-life transition, I found myself questioning one of the most common phrases about grief. Because grief doesn’t always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like laughter in a hospital room. Sometimes it looks like anger. Or relief. Or storytelling. Or a cup of coffee when there’s nothing left to fix. In this episode, I explore the idea that grief may be less of a destination and more of a crossroads—a place where love encounters change and takes on new forms. We talk about complicated relationships, hospice, revenge stories, Alua Arthur’s challenge to the phrase “grief is love with nowhere to go,” and the question I’ve been carrying lately: What is grief trying to grow? Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

  8. May 27

    The Final Final Shape — Real Grief for Intangible Spaces

    This week, Chris talks about a grief many people might dismiss at first glance: grieving a video game. But this episode isn’t really about gaming. Using Destiny as the emotional anchor, this episode explores ambiguous loss, third spaces, fandom, identity, ritual, online communities, and the very human grief that can happen when something meaningful changes instead of fully disappearing. From weekly rituals and late-night raids to homebound community connection and the emotional architecture of belonging, this is an episode about the kinds of grief that don’t always receive public permission—but still matter deeply. Because not everything meaningful leaves a body behind. Topics include: Destiny and live-service grief ambiguous loss disenfranchised grief online community and identity third spaces fandom and belonging grief for changing relationships and futures ritual, continuity, and emotional attachment Get full access to Soft Endings at lettn2mec.substack.com/subscribe

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About

A grief-centered podcast and newsletter about care, loss, remembrance, legacy, and living tenderly in a brutal world. lettn2mec.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    by MavenHaven
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    18
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chris
  • Show Website
    Soft Endings