Powered by PURPOSE Podcast

Melody | Powered by PURPOSE
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Most people aren’t struggling because they don’t care. They’re struggling because they’ve built their life and work around assumptions they’ve never examined, while judging themselves (and everyone else) by standards they’re not actually living by. And until that gap is addressed, everything feels harder than it needs to. In this podcast we’re going to get radically honest about what’s actually driving your behavior by looking at the evidence your life is already revealing. Then you’ll learn how to recalibrate your thinking with God’s truth, so you can start seeing things clearly… Because when you see clearly, everything else falls into place. So if you love Jesus, but you struggle to consistently relate to others the way He calls us to, I'll help you close the gap between your current state and your calling, so your life bears fruit for His kingdom. Because the issue isn’t your intention… it’s your perception. poweredbypurpose.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 3d ago

    The One Relationship That Shapes All Others

    Most people know Jesus said we’re supposed to love others as ourselves, but have you ever stopped to consider what that actually assumes? It assumes we already have a healthy relationship with ourselves. In this episode, I explore the one relationship we never escape: the relationship we have with ourselves. Together, we’ll unpack why so many of us struggle with insecurity, comparison, emotional reactivity, relational conflict, and chronic dissatisfaction despite years of personal growth, self-discovery, and self-improvement. We’ll examine the difference between self-focus and self-love, why modern self-awareness often falls short, and how many of us unknowingly misinterpret ourselves through inherited standards, distorted assumptions, emotional experiences, and incomplete information. I’ll also share why our relationship with ourselves becomes the lens through which we interpret everyone else - including God - and how that affects our leadership, emotional stability, decision-making, communication, relationships, and ability to live out our faith. Most importantly, we’ll explore why truthful self-awareness requires more than introspection. It requires learning how to evaluate ourselves through the evidence our lives are already revealing so we can begin replacing distortion with truth. Because when we learn to see ourselves more clearly, we become better equipped to love others the way Jesus calls us to. In This Episode We Cover: 02:34 — Why self-love and self-focus are not the same thing 02:34 — The hidden flaw in modern self-awareness culture 06:08 — How we project our relationship with ourselves onto others 05:05 — What 1 Corinthians 13 reveals about loving ourselves biblically 07:19 — Why perception - not intention - often dictates behavior 07:32 — The connection between self-understanding and leadership 07:58 — How distorted perceptions affect our relationship with God 09:19 — Why objective evidence creates deeper self-awareness than introspection alone Resources mentioned in this episode: If you’d like to gain clarity on what’s already shaping your life, then the FREE Core Priorities Snapshot is the best place to start! Full Transcript: Most people know that Jesus said we’re supposed to love others as ourselves, but have you ever stopped to consider what that actually assumes? Because it assumes we already have a healthy relationship with ourselves. In fact, that’s the one relationship we never escape. No matter where we go, what we accomplish, who we marry, who we work with, or how many people surround us, we are always with ourselves. And yet most of us spend very little time really examining the quality of that relationship. Instead, we tend to focus on our relationships with everyone else. Of course, we want to communicate better, right? We want to love better and lead better. We want to be better parents and serve others as best we can and build better relationships. But what if the quality of every one of those relationships is being influenced by the one relationship that’s always present? The relationship we have with ourselves. That’s what we’re going to explore in today’s episode. So hello, and welcome to Powered by Purpose. I’m Melody Lacey, and I help people clear the distorted perceptions that keep us from being able to see ourselves and others the way Jesus does. Because the struggle is real. Most of us are struggling to some degree to live and relate to others the way he calls us to. And that tension is what’s keeping us emotionally reactive and disconnected from how he’s called us to live. So we’re going to take a God and others approach to self-discovery and personal growth. And we’re going to unpack the real root cause behind the friction in your life and relationships. We’re going to do this by examining how your beliefs shape your perception of reality and looking at the evidence your life is already revealing, so you can clearly see what’s actually driving your behavior. And then we’ll look at how to recalibrate your thinking with God’s truth so that you start seeing things more clearly. Because when you understand yourself more clearly, you’ll be able to understand others much better as well. And then everything else falls into place. So whether you’re building a business, leading a family, coaching a team, or simply trying to live your life more faithfully, this is how we get closer between our behavior and our intentions, so that we can truly honor God and fulfill his unique calling for our lives. Because the reality is, renewed minds require more than just good intentions. So let’s get into it. The problem isn’t that you don’t know yourself. One of the greatest misconceptions in modern personal development is the idea that self-awareness simply means thinking about yourself a lot. And spoiler alert, it doesn’t. Truthful self-awareness requires an accurate interpretation. And most of us have spent years evaluating ourselves through inherited standards and distorted assumptions, which we then look at through emotional experiences and with incomplete information. So we don’t struggle because we don’t know ourselves, we struggle because we misinterpret ourselves, which means we’re also inevitably misinterpreting others too. So in order to improve that, we have to understand what it actually means to know ourselves. We’re told to look inward for answers, to discover who we are and learn to love ourselves. Yet despite all of the attention that we devote to self-discovery and self-love, most of us still struggle with insecurity, comparison, things like anxiety and emotional reactivity. And then we have relational conflicts and chronic dissatisfaction. And why? Why do we still have those things even though we work on ourselves? It’s because both of those concepts are often built on a flawed foundation. If we’re interpreting ourselves through distorted perceptions, which are those inherited standards with incomplete information, then it doesn’t matter how much time we spend thinking about ourselves, we’re going to continue to reinforce the same misunderstandings. And we misunderstand love as well. See, the world’s definition of love usually centers on things like self-esteem, self-confidence, self-care, self-acceptance, self-expression, and self-fulfillment. And while those things can be healthy, They all share a common focus. You just heard me say it a bunch of times. That common focus is self. So the assumption is that if we spend enough time focusing ourselves, we’ll eventually become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled. Yet most people who are self-focused are still struggling. And why is that? Because self-focus and self-love are not the same thing. In fact, they’re often opposites. So the more consumed we become with ourselves, the harder it is to genuinely see anyone else the way that God asks us to. Because God’s definition of love, including self-love, is different than the world’s. 1 Corinthians lays that out pretty plainly. It’s quite a list. Love is actually fairly difficult. It requires us to be patient, kind, not envious, boastful or proud, not to be self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no records of wrong, and so it’s a much more demanding definition than most of us are accustomed to, and it raises an uncomfortable question… Do we relate to ourselves this way? Am I patient with myself? Am I kind to myself? Do I keep a record of my own wrongs? I mean, I know I do. I really try to let that go, but that’s a big one for me, because… If I don’t consistently relate to myself with patience, kindness, truth, and grace, why would I expect my relationships with other people to look any different? This is where it gets interesting… We project our relationship with ourselves onto others. So most people assume that their struggles are with other people and are primarily about those people, but more often they’re revealing something about ourselves, because if you’re impatient with yourself, you tend to be impatient with others. If you’re constantly judging yourself, you’re going to judge others. And if you keep a record of wrongs, you’ll keep records for others as well. So you get the gist. The patterns don’t stop with us, they spread outward from within us, because our perception flows from the inside out. So how we see ourselves influences how we see everyone else. And this really matters because most people aren’t intentionally trying to be critical or defensive or reactive, judgmental, or emotionally volatile, right? Most of us have really good intentions. We want to love other people well. We want to communicate clearly and respond with grace. We want to honor God and make wise decisions, and we want to steward our responsibilities faithfully and become the kind of person others can trust and depend on. But those good intentions alone won’t dictate our behavior. Our perception does. And when our perception of ourselves becomes distorted, every area of life is affected. We become less effective leaders because we struggle to separate truth from projection. We become less emotionally stable because our reactions are being driven by interpretations we never examined. We become less mentally clear because we’re evaluating ourselves against inherited standards that may not reflect reality. We become less relationally effective because we unknowingly project our struggles onto others. And we often feel more distant from God because distorted perceptions affect how we interpret Him as well. The impact extends far beyond self awareness. It affects how we think. It affects how we feel, how we lead, relate to others, and make decisions, how we handle conflict for sure, which directly influences how we communicate. And then that flows into how we steward our influence. And ultimately, it all boils down to how we ex

    11 min
  2. Do you really know yourself?

    May 28

    Do you really know yourself?

    In this episode I share the personal story that launched my lifelong search for answers after years of struggling with the disconnect between what I believed, what I intended, and how I was actually living. I share the lens of my own experience with grief, career frustration, therapy, and faith, and I explore why so many of us feel trapped between our intentions and our behavior. You’ll learn how distorted perceptions are formed through inherited standards, personal biases, and incomplete information - and why those distortions affect not only how we see ourselves, but also how we relate to others and to God. Together we’ll explore the concept of “self-misinterpretation” as the hidden root of emotional reactivity, relational conflict, chronic self-condemnation, vocational frustration, and spiritual confusion, and why traditional “know yourself” approaches often fall short and how truthful self-awareness begins by examining the evidence your life is already revealing. If you’ve ever wondered why understanding something intellectually doesn’t automatically translate into experiencing it, this episode will help you see the deeper issue - and offer a path toward greater clarity, renewal, and transformation. You’ll Learn: * Why self-awareness requires more than introspection * The hidden difference between intentions and behavior * The two primary causes of self-misinterpretation * Why inherited standards often create internal conflict * How distorted perception impacts relationships * What Romans 12:2 really means in practical terms * Why truthful self-awareness is the foundation for loving others well Resources mentioned in this episode: If you’d like to gain clarity on the core priorities that are already shaping your life, then the FREE Core Priorities Snapshot is the best place to start because it’s the foundation for the entire PURPOSE™ Framework and mastering your perception. Chapter Summary: 00:00 — The Hidden Problem - Are You Sure You Really Know Yourself? The opening challenge: what if you’ve been examining yourself through distorted lenses and unknowingly building your life on a false foundation? 02:20 — The Lie We Believe About Self-Awareness Why thinking about yourself isn’t the same thing as understanding yourself, and why accurate interpretation matters. 02:45 — My First Therapy Session The story that started everything: grief, panic attacks, career frustration, and a question that would shape the next two decades. The Gap Between Intentions and Behavior 04:22 — Why Couldn’t I Live What I Believed? Exploring the painful disconnect between knowing something is true and actually experiencing it. 05:21 — When Stress Becomes Your Identity How chronic environmental misalignment led to emotional reactivity, exhaustion, insecurity, and relational tension. 06:20 — The Realization That Changed Everything The breakthrough insight: the problem wasn’t personal failure—it was self-misinterpretation. Understanding Self-Misinterpretation 07:56 — The Two Causes of Misinterpretation A practical framework for understanding how perception bias and incomplete information shape every interpretation we make. 09:08 — Why “Know Yourself” Culture Falls Short The hidden flaw in modern self-discovery approaches and why more introspection often leads to more distortion. 10:47 — Renewing the Mind Means Correcting the Lens A practical exploration of Romans 12:2 and how transformation happens through truthful perception, not behavior modification alone. Relationships Reveal Everything 12:22 — Why Relationships Expose Distortion How the way we interpret ourselves inevitably shapes how we interpret everyone else. 13:36 — A Different Approach to Self-Awareness How the PURPOSE Framework uses lived evidence, intrinsic drivers, and perception recalibration to uncover what’s actually governing your life. 14:48 — The First Step Toward Loving Others Well Why truthful self-awareness is essential to fulfilling the second greatest commandment—and what we’ll explore next week. Get full access to Powered by PURPOSE at poweredbypurpose.substack.com/subscribe

    15 min
  3. A Clown and Her Childhood Psychologist Meet Online

    May 21

    A Clown and Her Childhood Psychologist Meet Online

    What happens when two sisters sit down to unpack the hidden beliefs, inherited expectations, and perception distortions that shaped their relationship with themselves - and everyone around them? In this candid and, dare I say funny, conversation, my sister Amanda and I explore how self-awareness, priorities, family dynamics, and personal development impact everything from relationships and self-worth to mental health and spiritual growth. Together, we unpack the difference between aspirational values and lived priorities, how comparison distorts perception, and why learning to accept who God created us to be changes the way we relate to both ourselves and others. We also dig into how the custom AI tools inside the PURPOSE™ Framework help reveal subconscious behavioral patterns in an objective, honest, and deeply transformative way. Here’s how it plays out: 🎭 ACT 1 - What Your Life Is Actually Revealing 00:00 — The PURPOSE Framework and why your life reveals what truly matters to you 04:55 — How AI tools exposed hidden behavioral patterns and relationship dynamics 09:10 — Priorities vs. aspirational values: the root of self-judgment and comparison 🪞 ACT 2 - Trying to Become Someone You’re Not 17:15 — Burnout, motherhood, career pressure, and trying to become someone you’re not 27:21 — Productivity, money, and attaching your worth to achievement 34:25 — Rediscovering identity, joy, and the freedom to live differently 43:17 — Projection, resentment, and expecting others to value what you value ☕ ACT 3 - Acceptance, Healing Relationships, and Rooting Identity in Truth 52:07 — Healing your relationship with yourself through self-awareness and truth 54:32 — The Frother Story ☕😂 58:07 — Self-love, spiritual growth, and rooting your identity in God 1:02:34 — Using AI tools for structured self-awareness and personal growth Resources Mentioned in This Episode Penny is inside → Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers - This will identify your core priority hierarchy, personal zone of genius, existing limiting beliefs, and a personalized Purpose Statement that becomes the foundation for everything you do. You can also work with me one on one where we’ll work through a perception based belief recalibration process designed to: ✔️ Identify the highest-leverage distortion & expose the assumptions sustaining it. ✔️ Correct perception at the root & neutralize emotional charges. Get full access to Powered by PURPOSE at poweredbypurpose.substack.com/subscribe

    1h 6m
  4. Why You're Disciplined But Still Getting Nowhere

    May 14

    Why You're Disciplined But Still Getting Nowhere

    Together, Dido Torchi and I explore how high performers often burn out, not from lack of effort, but from applying their effort in a misaligned direction. We also unpack why most self-improvement advice fails, and I introduce a data-driven process for identifying your true subconscious priorities, and the power they have to build a life that doesn’t require external motivation because you’re already intrinsically inspired to act. This episode is especially relevant for: * High achievers stuck in cycles of burnout * Entrepreneurs forcing strategies that don’t feel right * Anyone questioning why “working harder” isn’t working In this video we cover: (00:00 – 02:00) Introduction (02:00 – 05:20) Competence vs Fulfillment * High performance without inspiration * Early signs of burnout (boredom, cynicism, emotional erosion) (05:20 – 07:30) What Burnout Actually Is * Burnout = layering performance on uninspiring work * Why discipline can mask misalignment (temporarily) * The breaking point: when performance no longer sustains you (07:30 – 10:30) The Problem with Self-Help * Most advice = copying others + forcing habits * Surface-level solutions vs root cause analysis * “Burnout just shifts locations” if the foundation isn’t fixed (10:30 – 12:00) Discovery of a Real Process * Finding a structured method for identifying root cause * Why discipline works naturally in aligned areas * Difference between aspiration vs true priority (12:00 – 14:30) How to Recognize Misalignment * Signs: lack of follow-through, constant need for motivation * Self-judgment and comparison loops * Misalignment as the root of inconsistency (14:30 – 17:00) Aspirational vs Actual Values * Education system trains conformity, not self-awareness * Decisions based on ROI vs intrinsic interest * Importance of evidence-based self-understanding (17:00 – 19:30) Breaking the Negative Loop * Comparison → self-doubt → burnout cycle * What actually creates a “good day” * Living in vs outside your core priorities (19:30 – 22:30) The PURPOSE™ Framework * Data-driven self-awareness vs feelings-based identity * Introduction to tools: purpose, niche, messaging * Traits of the greats + belief recalibration (22:30 – 25:30) Why Affirmations Don’t Work * Brain rejects what it doesn’t believe * “Your brain is a BS detector” * Need for belief-based alignment, not forced positivity (25:30 – 28:30) Industry Illusions & False Growth * Self-help/spirituality loops that keep people stuck * Chasing “feel good” vs solving root problems * Identity vs temporary emotional highs (28:30 – 31:00) Perception, Fear & Performance * Pedestal thinking and subconscious limitation * Stress = fear of loss or gain * Importance of perception in growth (31:00 – 33:30) Aligned Authority * Difference between confidence vs alignment * Energy vs depletion * Knowing vs forcing (33:30 – 36:30) Entrepreneurship Reality * Misaligned businesses fail (even if profitable) * Personal example of forced effort vs aligned flow * Burnout as a biological breaking point (36:30 – 38:30) Solopreneur Challenge * You can’t love every part of business * Importance of outsourcing based on priorities * Hiring aligned people vs just filling roles (38:30 – 40:30) Core Takeaway * You need to know who you are * Evidence-based self-awareness vs aspirational identity * Stop building on a weak foundation (40:30 – End) AI Tool + Practical Application * Using AI for pattern recognition and data analysis * Making self-discovery accessible and actionable * Final encouragement: take the process seriously If this conversation resonated with you, here are 3 ways you can get started: 1. Start with clarity - the FREE Core Priorities Snapshot is a guided introduction to uncovering the subconscious priorities already shaping your life. Plus every Thursday you’ll receive a clarity-first article or podcast episode designed to recalibrate your thinking around truth, so you can build your life with true clarity. 2. Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers - If you’re ready to go deeper now, this will identify your full core priority hierarchy, personal zone of genius, existing limiting beliefs, and a personalized Purpose Statement that becomes the foundation for everything you do. 3. Address the perceptions holding you back with Purge Misaligned Patterns - a facilitated belief recalibration process designed to: ✔️ Identify the highest-leverage distortion & expose the assumptions sustaining it. ✔️ Correct perception at the root & neutralize emotional charges. ✔️ Stabilize leadership, pricing, and visibility. This is not motivation - it’s correction - and correction restores your power. Get full access to Powered by PURPOSE at poweredbypurpose.substack.com/subscribe

    48 min

  5. May 7

    Athlete Identity Awareness w/ Grant Chiasson

    In this conversation Grant Chiasson and I dive deep into the difference between surface-level mindset work and true belief recalibration - the foundational work required to unlock intrinsic motivation, peak performance, and aligned success. I share my journey from a 20-year corporate career into purpose-driven work, explaining how most people unknowingly build their lives and businesses on misaligned beliefs, And Grant, who is mental performance coach who works with athletes to build their mental toughness and resilience with proven actionable tools, discusses his approach, And together we explore how identity, subconscious priorities, and emotional triggers shape performance - especially for athletes and high achievers. The episode bridges performance psychology, entrepreneurship, and identity work, offering a powerful framework for: * Discovering what truly drives you * Breaking through mental plateaus * Performing under pressure without entering survival mode * Aligning your life, work, and goals with your natural design In this video we cover: (00:00 – 02:30) Introduction & Melody’s Background * Melody’s 20-year corporate career and transition post-COVID * Introduction to mindset work → reframed as belief recalibration * Why traditional mindset work can fail without a solid foundation (02:30 – 05:30) Mindset vs Belief Systems * Difference between attitude vs deep belief structures * The problem with “top 10 business ideas” culture * Why identity and purpose must come before strategy (05:30 – 08:30) The Risk of Misalignment * “Toxic positivity” and forced motivation * Building a business you end up resenting * The gap between stated values vs lived behavior (08:30 – 12:00) When to Recalibrate * Recalibration triggers: growth, plateaus, new goals * Parenting, coaching, and developing intrinsic motivation * Exposure vs forcing outcomes (12:00 – 17:00) Athletes, Passion, and Performance * Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation in sports * Dangers of pushing talent without passion * Real-world examples (children vs elite athletes) (17:00 – 20:30) Breaking Mental Barriers * “Traits of the greats” framework * Removing pedestal/pit thinking * Unlocking performance through belief ownership (20:30 – 24:30) Stress, Fear & Performance States * Survival mode vs peak performance mode * Fear = perception, not reality * Reframing anxiety as fuel (24:30 – 27:30) In-the-Moment vs Pre-Game Work * Why mindset tools alone aren’t enough * Two-phase approach: * Pre-conditioning (belief recalibration) * In-the-moment regulation (breathing, triggers) (27:30 – 31:30) Burnout, Plateaus & Identity * Recognizing burnout vs misalignment * Reconnecting with passion * Transitioning out of identity-based roles (athletes, careers) (31:30 – 35:30) Identity & Self-Worth * Detaching identity from titles and income * Internal vs external validation * Faith, identity, and subconscious programming (35:30 – 39:30) Facing Fear Head-On * Worst-case scenario planning * Mental rehearsal and emotional desensitization * Navy SEAL mindset principles (micro-goals, visualization, triggers) (39:30 – 42:30) Redefining Resilience * Resilience ≠ enduring suffering * Resilience = recovery and adaptability * Neutralizing emotional charge through recalibration (42:30 – 45:30) Daily Mental Training System * Morning visualization * Midday reset * Evening reflection * Training the mind like a muscle (45:30 – 50:00) Alignment & “Perfect Day” Concept * No universal perfect day—only aligned days * Living in top 3–5 priorities * Difference between aspirational vs actual values (50:00 – End) Education, Burnout & Real-World Application * School system vs individualized development * Burnout as misalignment * Connecting responsibilities to intrinsic motivation If this discussion resonated, and you’re ready to go deeper, here are 3 ways I can help: 1. Start with clarity - the Core Priorities Snapshot is a guided introduction to uncovering the subconscious priorities already shaping your life, and all subscribers get access for FREE. Plus every Thursday you’ll receive a clarity-first article or podcast episode designed to recalibrate your thinking around truth, so you can build your life with true clarity. 2. Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers - If you’re ready to go deeper now, this is a guided discovery process to identify your full core priority hierarchy, personal zone of genius, existing limiting beliefs, and a personalized Purpose Statement that becomes the foundation for everything you do. 3. Address the perceptions holding you back with Purge Misaligned Patterns - a facilitated belief recalibration process designed to: * Identify the highest-leverage distortion * Expose the assumptions sustaining it * Correct perception at the root * Neutralize emotional charge * Stabilize leadership, pricing, and visibility This is not motivation - it’s correction - and correction restores your power. FULL Transcript Grant Chiasson We’ve got a lot to cover. We’ve got a lot to talk about. I mean, we’re both kind of delved into each other’s worlds in the last month or so and this is exciting. And you know, I think I’m very comfortable in a situation like this - going live, you know, talking to somebody that speaks the same language as me in terms of, you know, we’re all about the mental side and all about the mindset. So let’s just dive into it from the get go. Just introduce yourself in your words and take it from there. Melody Lacey Alright. Well I’m Melody Lacey. I spent over twenty years in corporate America leading project teams, multi, multi million dollar website development mostly, although I did start with the Department of Defense. That was a whole different culture. But I really wasn’t happy, you know. I followed the whole recipe for success, and thought I was nailing it and then I was miserable. So around COVID, I left corporate America and never looked back. tried a few different things and in the process learned a lot about mindset work. And I use mindset as a generic term because there’s a lot of different ways to approach it. And I got trained in a couple of different methods that have just been life changing for me, So now that’s what I bring to my clients. And as you saw, there’s a hierarchy of priorities, and it was interesting when I did that throughout my own training. That’s the first step in my process. You know, personal development and self-improvement is second in my hierarchy. And that’s funny, because if I look back at my whole life, that is consistent with my whole life, especially as an athlete, which is your main target audience, right? And so it totally made sense that this was the next step in my career path. So I mean I could call myself a mindset coach from the standpoint of that being such a familiar term for people, but it’s more like belief recalibration because if you do mindset work with a set of beliefs about yourself that aren’t quite accurate, but they’re deeply ingrained in your subconscious, you’re just layering on a a weak foundation. So the work I do actually comes before layering on mindset work to make sure you’re intrinsically motivated to do whatever it is you’re doing, and if you’re not, how to adjust that so that you’re meeting goals and growing in your life and career. Grant Chiasson Perfect. I mean, when I think about it too, it seems like the word mindset became interchangeable with like in my space, like the attitude. You know, you better have the right mindset going to practice today. But that to me you’re using as a word like your attitude, like you’re choosing how you think about it. But knowing now, I mean your entire mindset is just your total belief and shifts towards the big picture and then to the micro goals. So I think it’s important to distinguish between it. You know, I think the perfect, like you said, my perfect title I would love to be called like a mindset and performance coach. But it’s like you said, you get it mixed up in the terms and mental performance is kind of where we’re at with it. But you know, it’s incredible your journey and what you’ve done and built because for me personally, you know, going through your purpose framework and you know, doing this, I needed this at the beginning, you know, because everybody if you look at YouTube, everybody searching or no, they figured out that you can say if you want to start a business, these are the top ten most profitable in twenty twenty six. Melody Lacey Yeah, yeah. It’s all about choosing the right niche. Grant Chiasson Yeah I know. And so, you know, if somebody is in a position where they said, look, I know the answer to all of my personal beliefs and problems is probably to start a business, and I want to have control. I want to be in that realm. I just have nowhere to start. I mean, they’ve got to dive into the purpose and identity right away. I mean, what you - what it created for me, and luckily, you know, I’m in the space, like I told you, I understand how to kind of feed it when I need it to to get the right feedback from it. But I mean just to have a full, clear picture of where I stand, what’s my branding, what’s my belief, everything that’s structured in my subconscious, just flowing freely to communicate it to other people. How can I help you? It’s so crucial and beneficial. So yeah, I wish I would have had this from the beginning. Melody Lacey That’s why it’s such a foundational piece, right? Because if you’re trying to build like, you know, I’m glad that the term toxic positivity started to be thrown out there because it really can become toxic to try to force positivity where you’re not really feeling it, right? Because that is a fast track to potentially just keeping you misaligned in whatever you’re doing. And if you are someone who is exploring, you know, decentralizing your career, And you deci

    1h 6m

  6. Apr 30

    Do you know what really matters to you?

    Most people think they know what matters to them. But if you actually look at how you spend your time, your energy, and your attention… your life might be telling a very different story. In this episode, we unpack the hidden gap between your aspirational priorities and your lived priorities - and why that disconnect is the real reason you feel inconsistent, frustrated, or “off track.” Because the issue isn’t your discipline. It’s that you’re measuring your life against standards you’re not actually living by. We’ll walk through how to start identifying what’s really driving your behavior using the evidence your life is already revealing - so you can stop judging yourself unfairly and start building from what’s actually true. Because before you can grow, change, or live more faithfully, you need an honest starting point. In this episode, we cover: * [00:00] What do you say matters most? * [02:47] The gap where frustration begins * [04:00] Why this gap creates self-condemnation * [04:55] Looking honestly without judging yourself * [05:26] Faith, truth, stewardship, and growth * [06:35] Before fixing discipline, ask this question * [07:21] What to actually examine Resources mentioned in this episode: If you want help identifying your actual priorities, you can explore the Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers tool. And in the next episode, we’ll go deeper into why you think you know what matters to you - but don’t see much evidence of it in reality. Full Transcript If I were to ask you what matters most to you in life what would you say? And then if I took a look at patterns inside your daily activities, would they support your answer? That’s what we’re gonna talk about in today’s episode. Hello, and welcome to Powered by PURPOSE - I’m Melody Lacey, and I help people who love Jesus - but sometimes struggle to live and relate to others the way He calls us to. Because the struggle is real you guys! You know it - I know it - everyone knows it… So each week we’re going to take a God (and others) focused approach to self-discovery and personal growth here, We’ll unpack the real root cause behind the friction and conflict in your life and relationships, so that your life and work truly honor Him and bear fruit for His kingdom. We’ll do this by looking at the evidence your life is already revealing, get radically honest about what’s actually driving your behavior. and we’ll demystify how your beliefs are shaping your perception of reality. Because as you’ll come to see - the root of your tension isn’t your intentions… it’s your perception. You’ve unknowingly been building your life and work around assumptions you’ve never actually examined, and you’ve been judging yourself (and everyone else) by standards you’re not actually living by, Ouch - I know! But until that gap is addressed, everything will continue to feel harder than it needs to. So fear not! We’ll also discuss how to recalibrate your thinking with God’s truth, so you can start seeing things more clearly. Because when you see others more clearly… everything else falls into place. You lead differently.You make decisions differently.And most importantly - you start to treat others the way Jesus actually calls us to. So whether you’re building a business, leading a family, coaching a team, or simply trying to live your life more faithfully… THIS is how we close the gap between your current state and living out your true calling, so you’re actually bearing fruit for God’s kingdom. So let’s get into it… Most people think they know what matters to them. Like, if I sat down and talked to you about your priorities, you’d probably get all excited and tell me all about them. You’d tell me what you value, what’s important to you, and you’d probably list a bunch of things you think you should be doing as well. But if we actually took a look at your life - your decisions, how you spend your time, where your attention actually goes on a daily basis - it might tell a very different story. And that gap…that gap right there… That’s where most of your frustration is coming from in life. Because here’s what’s really happening:You’re not actually living by the priorities you talk about. You’re living by a different set - one that’s not as obvious to you. But at the same time, you’re judging yourself by a completely different set of standards. Standards that you’ve probably inherited - we all have. You’ve inherited them from… you know… you dead grandmother who always had dinner on the table by 6 o’clock and everyone was so impressed by that. You’ve inherited them from people in your church that you were impressed by - or maybe even a celebrity or a sibling - my sister thinks I’m pretty impressive - but I digress… You’ve inherited them from all kinds of places - even from the Bible. I mean, we should inherit some of them, right? But here’s the thing: There’s a set of standards you aspire to live by…and then there’s the set that you actually live by. And they’re probably not the same. So basically, we’re going to break down aspirational standards and priorities… relative to your real ones. So this gap between aspirational standards and your actual priorities is the real root of self-condemnation. And it’s why you feel inconsistent. That’s why you’re thinking: * “Why can’t I just follow through?” * “Why do I keep feeling off track?” * “Why aren’t I further ahead by now?” * “Where’s the frother - why can’t I keep track of that thing?” When in reality… You’re actually not off track. You’re just measuring yourself against something that isn’t actually driving your behavior. The thing is - your daily life activities are the ones telling the truth. But the story they’re telling isn’t written by what you say matters. It’s demonstrating what you actually care about - not what you wish you cared more about. This is the evidence that shows what your life is consistently organized around. And those are your real priorities. And most people have never been shown how to actually look at that honestly. I’m not talking about judging yourself. I’m talking about truly understanding: * Why you make the decisions you’re making * Why certain things feel heavy * Why other things feel natural This is the starting point of everything I teach inside my PURPOSE™ Framework. Because before you can grow, and make real progress in all those areas you’ve been working on, you have to be willing to see what’s actually there. What’s actually true about your life. Because if you think about it… We’re all called to live in alignment with truth.We’re called to love God, to love others as ourselves. But if we’re being honest… We’re not really very good at either of those things, right? Which is why I’m here talking to you about this. We’re also told to steward what we’ve been given. But, you know - we’re fallen, we’re imperfect… so we don’t always get things “right.” - and I’m using my air quotes here because defining what’s right is a whole other topic we’ll get into later, But this is also about trying to grow in life. If your perception is distorted, you won’t even know what to work on. Because if you don’t understand your current state, how are you supposed to put together a plan to improve and grow? You’re definitely going to struggle to execute if you don’t even know where you’re starting from. So the real key is a starting point. And that’s doing a current state analysis of what your life actually demonstrates right now - so that you can see it clearly and then move forward from there. Because you can’t align your life with truth if you’re evaluating it through a distorted lens. So before you try to go fix your “discipline problem”…before you try to get more consistent… Maybe just pause and ask yourself honestly: What is my life actually showing me right now? And before you get all weird about it and want to push back on this - This isn’t about judging yourself. It’s not about anything you’re doing wrong. In fact, it’s about eliminating that kind of judgment from the equation in the first place, so you can be more objective. So you can evaluate yourself without all of the emotional baggage. Because you don’t want to build off of that - you already know what that looks like. So what I’m proposing is taking a different approach. Looking at the evidence objectively… and then building from there. And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Take a look at: * Where you spend your time * Where you spend your money * Where you’re most organized - because even if you think you aren’t - you definitely are in at least one part of your life Those are the kinds of things we need to analyze. It’s not what you think you should be doing… It’s what you’re actually doing. That’s what we need to look at. This is actually the first step in my framework. Everything builds off of this - it’s that important. So you can start tallying up some evidence yourself, on your own… Or you can use my handy-dandy custom tool that walks you through 13 very specific questions that will actually reveal your existing priorities in life. And with that information, you’ll be one step closer to: * No longer beating yourself up over all those other standards you’ve set for yourself * And/or using that information to elevate your game …but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. We’ll go deeper into this idea in the next episode - where we’ll break down why you think you know what matters to you… but don’t see much evidence of that in reality. But in the meantime - If you’re interested in the guided experience inside my Pinpoint Your Intrinsic Drivers tool - I know it’s a mouthful, check out the link below. And we’ll meet again next week. Get full

    9 min
  7. Words, words, words...

    Apr 16

    Words, words, words...

    Welcome to the prequel of my upcoming Powered by PURPOSE Podcast! I’d love to know how you prefer to consume your content, so please fill out the poll below and let me know! PLUS - here are some articles to catch up on if you haven’t seen them already ↓ A bit about my backstory and the trap of trying to do everything ‘right.’ Sometimes God isn’t asking you to stay grateful where you are - He’s asking you to trust Him for what’s next. You’re not lazy, undisciplined or broken… and you certainly don’t need more motivation ‘hacks!’ Get full access to Powered by PURPOSE at poweredbypurpose.substack.com/subscribe

    3 min
  • 7 Episodes

About

Most people aren’t struggling because they don’t care. They’re struggling because they’ve built their life and work around assumptions they’ve never examined, while judging themselves (and everyone else) by standards they’re not actually living by. And until that gap is addressed, everything feels harder than it needs to. In this podcast we’re going to get radically honest about what’s actually driving your behavior by looking at the evidence your life is already revealing. Then you’ll learn how to recalibrate your thinking with God’s truth, so you can start seeing things clearly… Because when you see clearly, everything else falls into place. So if you love Jesus, but you struggle to consistently relate to others the way He calls us to, I'll help you close the gap between your current state and your calling, so your life bears fruit for His kingdom. Because the issue isn’t your intention… it’s your perception. poweredbypurpose.substack.com

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  • Creator
    Melody | Powered by PURPOSE
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    7
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Everything on Purpose
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    Powered by PURPOSE Podcast