It's Not Just Shoes: What's Really Happening When Your ADHD Child Gets Stuck On The Simple Things Have you ever asked your child to do something simple... put on shoes, brush teeth, open the homework folder, get in the car... and suddenly the whole moment falls apart? You know they know how to do it. You know they did it yesterday. You know it should only take a minute. But there they are, frozen, distracted, upset, silly, angry, or completely shut down. And there you are, standing in the middle of the morning, holding the schedule, the school emails, the lunches, the reminders, the emotions, and the pressure of getting everyone out the door. This episode is for that mom. In this episode of Mom Parent ADHD, I’m talking about one of the hardest and most confusing parts of parenting a child with ADHD: watching your child get stuck on something that looks simple from the outside. But sometimes, what looks simple to us does not feel simple to them. A pair of shoes may not just be a pair of shoes. Homework may not just be homework. Brushing teeth may not just be brushing teeth. Leaving the house may not just be leaving the house. Sometimes the task has hidden steps. Sometimes the transition is harder than we realize. Sometimes the pressure of the moment makes it harder for our child to begin. And sometimes, what looks like refusal may actually be overwhelm. In this episode, I share a personal story from one of those hard mornings with my son... the kind of morning that left me frustrated, guilty, and replaying my words long after we left the house. I also share the lessons that changed the way I began to see those stuck moments. Not perfectly. Not magically. But more compassionately. We talk about why “simple” tasks may not feel simple to an ADHD child, why stuck moments can show up as silence, silliness, anger, distraction, or shutdown, and why one small next step can sometimes do more than a long lecture ever could. This episode is not about blaming moms. It is not about excusing every hard behavior. And it is not about pretending these moments are easy. It is about helping us pause long enough to ask a gentler question: What might be underneath this behavior? And then: What is the smallest next step I can help my child take right now? Because sometimes the hardest part is not finishing the task. Sometimes the hardest part is starting. In This Episode, I Talk About - Why simple tasks can feel bigger than they look for children with ADHD. - Why transitions can be hard, even when the task itself seems small. - How a stuck moment may show up as silence, distraction, anger, silliness, or shutdown. - Why moms often take these moments personally, especially when they are already exhausted. - How to shift from “Why won’t my child just do it?” to “What might be making this hard?” - Why shrinking the task can help reduce pressure. - How naming one small next step can help your child begin. - Why steadiness matters, even when you do not feel perfectly calm. - How compassion helps both mom and child recover after a hard moment. A Gentle Reminder For Moms If your child gets stuck on something simple, it does not mean you are failing. If you got frustrated, it does not mean you are a bad mom. If the morning became harder than you expected, it does not mean the whole day is ruined. You are parenting a child whose brain may experience transitions, starting points, pressure, and hidden steps differently. And you are learning too. Sometimes the goal is not to fix the whole moment. Sometimes the goal is to lower the pressure, name one small next step, and begin again. One imperfect, compassionate step at a time. Mentioned In This Episode This episode is a follow-up to the companion Substack article: Why My ADHD Child Gets Stuck On The Simplest Things I also mention The Exhale & Reset Room for ADHD Moms, my Skool community for moms raising children with ADHD who are tired of surviving the hard days alone. It is a place to breathe, reset, and feel seen by other moms who understand what these moments feel like from the inside. Disclaimer This podcast is not medical advice, clinical advice, or a replacement for professional support. I am sharing from my lived experience as a mom parenting a child with ADHD and speaking from one mom’s heart to another. Invitation If this episode helped you feel seen, I would love for you to listen on Substack, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts. And while you are on Substack, you can subscribe so we can keep walking through these real ADHD parenting moments together... with more compassion, less shame, and one small next step at a time. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe
